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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

May-December romances

At the age of 84, Hugh Hefner is engaged to Crystal Lewis, 24. I also read that actress Vivica Fox, 46, is engaged to Atlanta promoter Omar White, 27. As I read about the pending nuptials for these couples, I started to wonder why so many of us get hung up on age and our target age ranges in dating.

Celebrity aside, if two people have found that they have enough in common, how much does age really matter?

Admittedly, my last two misadventures in dating were with younger guys (both were 9 years younger!) I can’t figure out if it was the age difference that played a role in the break ups or not but I usually vow to leave the younger dudes alone. Of cours, this is also when I meet the really mature for his age, (read: very hot guy) that has me lifting the so-called ban on younger men.

I believe there can be pros and cons to dating younger/older, though. Maybe you just have to decide if it’s worth a shot.

What do you think? What are the really great reasons you should date someone significantly (at least 10 years apart) younger or older ?

In your opinion or past experiences, what are the pitfalls?

Happy Wednesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

321 comments Add your comment

The Truth-original

January 5th, 2011
8:05 am

Enter your comments here

The Truth-original

January 5th, 2011
8:05 am

I’m first for the first time.

Kym

January 5th, 2011
8:14 am

Good Morning All,

Age is just that a number..I know some really mature 20 year olds..and some 40 plus dudes who have reverted back to being middle schoolers..it depends on the person and their life experiences. I have had the pleasure of dating two younger fellows both in their early 30’s..and they were as different as night and day. One was well spoken and had his feet firmly planted..the other would not have been able to find his way home if I left him in the mall. I think the main thing is for folks to get past the whole he/she is younger than me..and what will people think??…who cares..if it works..then work it out.

@Truth..is that you?? Hey there Sandstorm trooper how goes it?

Breezy

January 5th, 2011
8:52 am

I have only been in the dating scene for a short period of time. I jumped into an exclusive relationship (his idea) with a gentleman who was five years older who I connected with in EVERY way (Physically, Intellectually, Spiritually, Emotionally) but he fought his emotions (one day he was hot – the next he was cold). I finally came to the conclusion that he was “Emotionally Unavailable” (past break-up that was over a year old, busy career, other issues, etc.). It just got to the point that I had to cut him loose because I was always in emotional turmoil.

Lately I’ve been dating a few younger guys (one’s 5 years and the other is 6 years younger) but we just don’t connect. Oh Boy – the Physical attraction is there but I need more.

I know it’s because I haven’t met the right one yet but the search continues. I don’t rule out dating a man of any age as long as there’s a connection beyond the Physical.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 5th, 2011
9:02 am

Morning Everyone!

Truth – is that really you! Hey you and happy new year! Good to read you

On topic – maturity and life experiences play a huge role in May-December romances. Ex hubby was younger than me and mature however we had different life experiences in what proved to be some key areas and that was an issue. I dont know if could go the Hugh Heffner route (thats a helluva age difference) but I dont see anything wrong with it. If it works for you and the SO then go for it!

susan

January 5th, 2011
9:03 am

Enjoy dating older men….I am 40 and they are in mid 50’s. Younger holds no appeal for me at all…they are still in their “me” stage but the older men are eager to please on all levels.

LeeH1

January 5th, 2011
9:10 am

Ags is like a foreign country. Some one from a different age group is like someone who speaks English but is from another country and has a different culture and mannerisms.

To some people, foreigners are exciting and interesting. To others, they are obnoxious and rude because they don’t have the same mannerisms and beliefs. Depending upon your own ideals, you can love someone for another country or from another age group. Both have their good and bad points.

And the attraction needs to be mutual.

mark

January 5th, 2011
9:19 am

i am really thinking about Dating an older sista! im 37 and would like to date a sista around 42-55.
i think it would be a GREAT life experience. my only Fear would be seeing Gray Hair on the Coochie..lol
that may freak me out for a sec.

Simple Man!!!!

January 5th, 2011
9:20 am

This is an interesting topics as it applies mostly to the ladies….Age rules, generally, do not apply when talking about that guys…..

Jana

January 5th, 2011
9:22 am

I am married to a man 7 years younger, and from another country. When I started dating him, I was unaware he was younger, and he was interesting and seemed older than me. When I realized his actual age difference was several years, it didn’t seem to matter. We have been married 35 years, happily, so I would assume it was not an issue. We are still very much in love, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Just Sayin'

January 5th, 2011
9:22 am

I prefer a man that is 10 years older, that is a very good match for me. I know of one couple where she is 25 years younger than he is. They had an excellent marriage for most of that time, until he became “old” and that age difference seemed to be a lot bigger and less desirable in their later years.

The Truth-Your all invited to my wedding-but it's going to be in Dubai

January 5th, 2011
9:24 am

Hey Mo, Kym and ev1 else in the room.

On topic: My fiancee(Yes, I said it) is in her 30’s while I’m in my 40’s. The teamwork is on point and I couldn’t ask for more. There are tradeoffs in all relationships but this isnt one of them.

abc

January 5th, 2011
9:30 am

Age is a huge indication of what stage of life you’re in, even with the obvious differences in peoples’ level of maturity, defining more of individuality than stage of life. People who are experiencing much of what adult life has to offer for the first time are best left with those that are also at that stage. Older people will start to roll their eyes upon hearing “I’ve never __________ that!” for the umpteenth time from their younger partner, and lose respect for the younger person. Younger people will wonder why their older partner’s idea of a great vacation is a quiet, deserted beach or mountain getaway, and get bored.

The biggest age difference I’ve dealt with is 10 years younger than me, and 2 years older. The younger chick’s age was a bit of a disconnect, but not insurmountable. To me, 10 years is as big an age spread as is practical.

Kym

January 5th, 2011
9:32 am

@Truth..I read that the other day and I do believe I blacked out..I AM SO PROUD AND HAPPY FOR YOU MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!!…Now I ain’t coming to Dubai..but you can like video stream the nuptials that will work….Congrats!!!!

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
9:36 am

Good Morning Blog Fam!

TRUTH!! How are you?? Looks like I’m not the only one with a FEE-AUHN-SAY!!! Congrats! I know she’s a wonderful lady if you chose her and want to commit!

Be back with my response on the topic!

Sassy Me...:-)

January 5th, 2011
9:39 am

Helleeeer and Good Mornting!!

I’ve almost always attracted younger guys and have been attracted to them as well. My last relationship was with a man 7 years my junior and the boy toy I had was 12 yrs my junior. I don’t think the age difference contributed to the demise of the relationship(either one) but more so we were just in different places in our lives and I realized that…so I kept it moving.

I’ve dated men around my age and a tad older as well and I liked the way they treated me but nothing serious ever developed. I think what should matter most is how a man treats you…

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
9:43 am

Morning all -

I will admit, I get a little hung up on age. I don’t like em younger, I don’t like em too much older. I seem to be attracting guys in their 40s and while there is nothing wrong with that…I kinda wish people would stick to those their own age! There are plenty of fly 40 year old women who get passed on for girls in their 30s or even 20s.

In any case, while I don’t stress over it, just wish it could be a lil more fair. I can’t date a guy my dads age (30 years older) tho…. I just can’t see it!

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 5th, 2011
9:44 am

Morning, folks…

Truth — Congrats, man! Did you snag you a Desert Diva?

On topic: In general, I would tend to agree with abc on this one, but there are some exceptions… I know some folks whose lifestyle, frame of mind, etc., totally defies their actual biological age. I think in those cases, they’re probably better off with someone closer to the age that they’re acting like rather than they’re actual age…

DreamsMaterialize

January 5th, 2011
9:44 am

Morning
You do what works for you. If you all are into each other, and connect in the right areas, then make it happen. The biggest obstacle you will probably have is worrying about other people viewing your relationship negatively. If you can get over that, then you’re probably home free.

Truth what’s good man? Congrats on the engagement. Looks like this is going to be a married blog soon. If Infamous and For Real come on here talking about marriage, then I know it’s time to find a new blog. lol

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
9:45 am

Truth has a FIANCE????

Wow…no wonder birds are falling out the sky and fish are going ashore! The end is near!

Congrats man! Glad to see another good one go down! Now we know ANYTHING is possible!!! ;)

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
9:45 am

As for age differences, if you like it I love it! Everybody should do what works for them. The Hefner thing would be creepy to me and I can’t do the cougar thing. But that’s me.

I’ve always preferred men around my age. Like when I was younger I never wanted a much older man because I didn’t need another “daddy”. Also, I have always been silly-acting and like to clown. I went out with a guy that was only a little older than me in college once and he couldn’t get with my silliness.

Babies love me, but I can’t go there. But like Kym said, some are more mature than men double their age. But I just can’t do it.

I like have the same point of reference on things like music, tv shows, world events, etc.

Sassy Me...:-)

January 5th, 2011
9:49 am

There are plenty of fly 40 year old women who get passed on for girls in their 30s or even 20s.

Ain’t that the truth? I wonder what a man(40+) sees in someone in their twenties that even hints at a meaningful relationship with any kind of longevity…

The Truth-Your all invited to my wedding-but it's going to be in Dubai

January 5th, 2011
9:53 am

Ared, Kimmie, so glad to see you here today.

You remember my last gf in the Atl right? She’s over here and we hooked up and really its better than it was before, if thats possible. Been real good, done a lot of traveling and plan on alot more.

Kimmie, does he know about me? Tell him I’m letting you go and giving you all my blessing.

Ared, whats up woman? I know you’ve been blazing a trail through the Atl. Hope all is well in your camp.

Btw, the big day is in March.

Fellas, fist pump to you all. Happy new year. What have I been missing in blogsville?

Celisea

January 5th, 2011
9:54 am

Morning,

Ehhh, I dunno…I’m still dangling on this one. I see nothing wrong with people being able to find their way given age differences. However, age difference brings somewhat of a variance because you at different “levels of of living.” I suppose though if I were to interact with someone in a different age range and the differences weren’t too much of a distraction I could probably do. Of my significant romances….ALL have been younger….3 years, 3 years, 4 years

TenderRoni

January 5th, 2011
9:55 am

Good Morning to All,

I really wasn’t one for dating older, but after my experience dating a man 10yrs my senior, my mind has changed. If the connection is there then it can work.
But the Heffner thang, that is a bit much!

Delight23...loving the fresh start

January 5th, 2011
9:56 am

Good morning peoples!! Happy new year :-)

I have generally stayed away from younger men. I’m an agist. :-( Even 2-3yrs younger freaks me out.

Since senior year in high school (when I was allowed to date) I dated college guys and above. To date I like ‘em 5-7yrs older. Ultimately though it obviously depends on the couple. They like it, I love it. Heck, it’s none of my business.

Delight23...loving the fresh start

January 5th, 2011
9:57 am

Don’t know Truth, but Congrats just the same. Good news is always good news.

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
10:00 am

Truth – I’m extremely pleased for you! That sounds like a blast, your plans. We are going to Vegas in the coming months to do ours, have not set a definite date yet.

Yes, I told my boo about you, my blog man over in the Middle East. He actually met some of the other bloggers at a birthday gathering SCool had a few months back. Come to find out he & Tazzee went to the same high school in Cleveland! Small world!

Derby

January 5th, 2011
10:01 am

I dated a guy six years younger than me…..the physical was poppin’! The rest…not so much. It fell apart because when I could not be available for him on a whim….it seemed like the age difference was 26 years instead of six :-) You have to have more than physical attraction to make it work. It was fun while it lasted.

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
10:01 am

I’ve always preferred men around my age. Like when I was younger I never wanted a much older man because I didn’t need another “daddy”.

I so agree with this right here! I just prefer a guy around my age.

And like someone else said, I don’t think age was ever a contributing factor in my break ups, exept for the father figure one who I had remind that I HAD a good daddy!

Leggs

January 5th, 2011
10:03 am

Good morning, everyone!

@Truth ~ nice to see you hear. Congratulations! Happy New Year! That’s great to hear.

Wow…no wonder birds are falling out the sky and fish are going ashore! The end is near! @ARed, that was very, very funny! We finally found out the reason for this. :lol: :lol:

On topic: I haven’t dated much, but that’s about to change for the better. I’m realizing that I may need to start looking at the younger men a little more since they’re really looking at me. The men I have met that are in my age bracket are entirely too settled and lack spunk. I’m content to sit at home, but not all the time while dating. I may not go the route of Vivica Fox, but perhaps I may start looking at 35+ year olds. We shall see.

I only had 2 of the megamillion numbers! Shucks!!!

Kym

January 5th, 2011
10:05 am

All these weddings and engagements..makes me want to throw a party!..

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
10:06 am

Ared, whats up woman? I know you’ve been blazing a trail through the Atl. Hope all is well in your camp.

Truth – You know me well. It’s gotten rather ri.dicul.ous! But I’m getting it in for all of those who can’t. :lol:

Super happy for you. Can you tell me how she was able to take you down? Cuz you were quite adament about not marrying again. What changed, cuz you could have decided to shack up forever.

BTW, I have enough SkyMiles to get me to Dubai… :D

Kym

January 5th, 2011
10:06 am

Hey Leggs do you get anything if you have the powerball number?

Leggs

January 5th, 2011
10:06 am

Sorry, I see I’m starting already.

@Truth ~ nice to see you HERE!

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 5th, 2011
10:06 am

Good day. I have dated someone older and their are pros and cons just like with dating someone younger. Here are my thoughts

Older

Pros:

More stability
More direct in what they want
Typically are more mature and wont waste time.

Cons:

If they arent where they want to be in life, they can sometimes subconsciously take it out on you.
If they may want kids, you may feel pressured into something that they want and you arent even thinking about.
They may have too much baggage and it may be to much to deal with them.
You may feel like you are in a mother/child relationship where she is running you somewhat.

M. (pronouced M dot)

January 5th, 2011
10:08 am

@Kimmie

I totally agree with you! I definately dont want another mother in my relationships. Like I said in my post, sometimes if you date an older woman, it can feel like a mother child relationship, i.e., her trying to tell you what to do, why you should not be out, etc. I want a woman not a mother!

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
10:10 am

I just read Sherri Shepherd is engaged. He is a TV writer & proposed day after Christmas.

Leggs

January 5th, 2011
10:10 am

@Kym ~ yes, you do! $2 (LOL). That’s all.

BTW, kimmie ~ I don’t want to brag, I really don’t, but when you told me 117 and I said it was a good number because it is, I played 117 and 127 yesterday. Remember, I always say one up and one down! I think I buy me an outfit and a new pair of shoes this time around! :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
10:13 am

Leggs – You hit Cash 3…AGAIN???

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
10:13 am

LEGGS!!!!! I started to play it yesterday and got cheap. Just bought $5 worth of Mega tickets, of which I only had 1 number!!

That’s it, I’m playing my number every day this month!!!!

Kym

January 5th, 2011
10:13 am

Leggs..you have got to be the winnest winner in all of Winville..LOL!! Thanks for the info I get my 2 dollars back..McD’s Sweet Tea for me..

SexyCool

January 5th, 2011
10:17 am

Let’s not forget to add Ronald Isley and his baby bride to the mix. (lol)

TheDude is five years younger than me. But that fact *rarely* crosses my mind….unless we’re talking about babies. (lol)

And Truth gets an early nod for the 2011 Bloggies for the *Proof that Love can Change You* category.

CONGRATULATIONS, my friend!!!

The Truth-You're all invited to my wedding-but it's going to be in Dubai

January 5th, 2011
10:17 am

Thanks Leggs, Dlight.

Kimmie if we were in the states we’d do the same. Google The Atlantis in Dubai and thats where we’re planning on doing it. There are a few snags to getting married over here so we’re trying to work them out. Will prolly have to go to the embassy for the marriage and then the ceremony at the Atlantis.

Where is For Real? I have a card I need to turn in. LOL

Swiss, how is the baby making going? You still practicing or putting in some real work?

In these times age should be the least of your concerns. However Hugh Hefner and Anna Nicole Smith really pushed the envelope. Yuck.

i'm swiss™ (grasping at straws to get in them draws)

January 5th, 2011
10:17 am

“What have I been missing in blogsville?”

Truth — There’s some new rules up in here… Some of us have been banned from the ol’ blog from time to time (and some of us find ways to sneak back in). Right now our buddy Me.lo is really on the outs… like Han Solo frozen in carbonite. (You can’t even say dude’s proper name on here) :lol: Wanna help with the rescue mission?

kimmie

January 5th, 2011
10:17 am

Leggs – SO’s birthday is 130. Imma play it too!

joe

January 5th, 2011
10:19 am

Question or the board…I’m 44 y.o.- never married, no kids. Since I desire a family some day, my question is how young is too young for me? Is a 30 y.o. or 35 y.o. considered age appropriate? Don’t think I’d want to date below age 30…still in those party it up years.

Honeybun

January 5th, 2011
10:20 am

Married, husband died in May, swore I would never marry again, got married that same December to our family friend I never even knew noticed me. This person had called 8 days after the funeral inviting me to go see the pandas at the zoo, had been listening and noticing that I loved the pandas. I thought he was being nice as well as family, neighbors, workers and the like but months later he told me he had loved me from the very time he first saw me (20 something years earlier) and just “waited.” He is 10 years younger than me and that has never come into play. We have also been married for 10 years now and making that trip to Vegas was one of the best things I ever did.

AmazonRed™ - Happy 100th "J5" Kappas!

January 5th, 2011
10:23 am

Joe brings up a good point…I guess I attract 40 year olds cuz I secretly hope they don’t want kids. Amazingly, the usually do (if they don’t have any already). I guess I don’t really see the appeal of having a newborn in your 40s. Sounds painful. :lol:

free2be

January 5th, 2011
10:24 am

Good morning! My parents are 10 years apart in age and it’s worked for 37 years.:) Personally, a ten year age difference is all i could do…..and that’s regarding an older guy. Younger I could do maybe a 3 year age difference max.