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Dating: Do we still need the chase?

You can predict how some conversations about love and sex will unfold among a group of men and women. Not unlike the discussions we have on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog, you realize how differently men and women think.

I think that seeing different perspectives can be quite enlightening though! Some of the best revelations I’ve had about men have come from talking to men about men.

I remember a group of us were having dinner to celebrate one of our friend’s birthday. That evening turned into what we called The Great Chase Debate of 2010 because we ended up having a heated debate about chasing and pursuing someone you are interested in. I was surprised to hear the women say men in Atlanta don’t pursue them.

A few of the men admitted that they really don’t “chase” women all that much. One of the guys even said that a lot of women in Atlanta make it super easy for them em> not to chase.

Interestingly enough, the argument got most heated when we debated whether “modern day” dating scene even had a need for pursuing a chase. How often do you see men persistent about getting a woman to go out with them?

Do women still want to play hard to get? Are men interested in chasing and pursuing women?

What do you guys think? Has the way men pursue women changed all that much?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

452 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

January 3rd, 2011
11:06 am

‘She needs to fall back on even going in there!’

Ared – Well she is trying to save face by talking about having it made into a freakum dress. lol

I think Royce is attractive but I couldn’t stop staring at those two zits on her forehead. :lol: I’m sorry, lawd forgive me this morning hehehehehe

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:09 am

@SlimNU ~ when she came out in that wedding dress, I literally gasped. No doubt beauty in everything is in the eye of the beholder. Glad they’re going to make a “freakum dress out of it.” And, if my husband told me to do something about the “situation” because he’s good, I would walked to the phone right then and there and called my lawyer! He looked around told her she could have that place. I laughed because it didn’t appear to be a very warm, inviting home.

@BMW ~ yes, she’s a NYer but she’s crass as well….it will definitely be interesting if she and Tami went head to head, cuz that chick is straight up HOOD! I thought it nice she met with the current wife though. Had to rewind twice when he apologized to her and she teared up. She desperatly needed that closure. Her head/heart is now in a better place. Boy she looks like she can spit nails once she gets riled up.

@ARed ~ Jabberjaws said something interesting during that silly talk they had. He told her she’s probably still in this because she may look at as a sign of “failure” if she ends this marriage. She’s harping on the effects the divorce had on her marriage and is pretty determined to not have that happen to her. Ok, no divorce, so you just finish living your life with this man with no happiness, no connection, no concern or respect for each other. Alrighty then.

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:09 am

Ared – I haven’t heard about that…what’s the 411 on that situation? (And is this the same sister accused of messing with Shaq?)

Slim – Her story got picked up by the Washington post! But yes, she’s the one accused of messing with Shaq. She’s 4 months pregnant and hasn’t heard from Gilbert all of December, leaving her with no money to purchase food or Christmas gifts. :?

Of course, this is why he proposed to begin with: “I’ve done kicked her out of my house almost every weekend, yet she’s still here and she still believes in me”

How touching :?

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:10 am

BMW – Daaaaang, you must have a celeb CT…doctor all on tv and ish

:lol:

White male gyno…can’t do it! :oops: He must be good tho. :lol:

Sassy Me...Onward and Upward :-)

January 3rd, 2011
11:10 am

When it comes to someone you REALLY like, guess they get a hall pass for your usual Dealbreakers.

Yes it’s quite obvious when she looks at him that she likes him…they’ve got some killer chemistry going on and that’s hard to fight… She is tryna play it cool but it’s not really a good look for her at all b/c had it been someone else they would’ve been gone with the quickness and Mr. Money Man knows it…he’s gotta know.

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:11 am

He looked around told her she could have that place. I laughed because it didn’t appear to be a very warm, inviting home.

Leggs – I noticed that too. He looked around like the Miami condo was a cardboard box. I hope Jennifer bleeds him dry. He’s just being so mean.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:12 am

BTW, I think I heard Evelyn say her friends calls him “Jabberjaws” behind his back or something like that. If not, then I made up the name cuz that’s what I see with those thick lips and all those teef….he could care less about her.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:15 am

:lol: :lol: We definitely won’t get the men to come on if we keep talking about trainwreck TV! :lol: :lol:

But, another point, it was funny watching Evelyn, Jennifer, Shauni try to shove Gloria’s words back down her throat. But, Royce shouldn’t have ambush Suzie like that even if the main target was Gloria.

SlimNumeroUno

January 3rd, 2011
11:16 am

Leggs – In regards to when he said she could have that place…he said it like it was a place in the projects or something..Like you can have THIS place….looks like one of those places where you pay too much only because it has an ocean view but ain’t worth a dime outside of that. lol And how does he point out the fact she goes out with her friends all the time when he is NEVER anywhere with her? smh

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:18 am

Good morning all!! Hope you had a safe and fun holiday season. Looking forward to a fabulous new year!

As for the topic, I am of the opinion that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Every time you turn around, there is talk of there being no need for the customs that have been observed forever. No need for marriage, some men expect women to do the asking out, the calling, no saving yourself until you get to know someone. Now we’re saying no need for a man to pursue. But funny, it seem relationships between men & women are not getting better. Everyone is confused. The “natural” order of things has taken a nosedive. I think alot of people, especially men, use the new dating “rules” to their convinience. They lay back in the cut to get things fast and easy, but when THE ONE shows up that knows her worth, all bets are off. They either fall in line and step to her correct or go on to the next easy target.

Bottom line, I prefer a man take the natural lead and pursue me. That’s how it worked with my fiance’, but everyone has to do what works for them.

And I get so sick of this “women in Atlanta” mess. Come on! Like the A corners the market on bad behavior – this goes on everywhere! You are who you are, so don’t blame being in the A for your poor choices.

i'm swiss™

January 3rd, 2011
11:19 am

Happy 2011, everybody! Hope you all had a great holiday…

“OMG Chilli’s GYN is my GYN!”

BMW — You do realize that this means that, technically, you & Chilli have touched puddys (via proxy). :lol:

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
11:19 am

A man knows what he values and when it comes to a woman he wants he will move a mountain to get her. Now a woman can have her own standards that she may be judging his pursuit on…but if that man wants that woman he will do what it takes to get her. As far as a woman “chasing me” A woman can make herself available to me so that I take notice and then if I feel the same way I will take over the courting ritual as long as she is acceptable to it. But a woman flat out chasing and pursuing me….I would not like that at all.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:21 am

A woman can make herself available to me so that I take notice and then if I feel the same way I will take over the courting ritual as long as she is acceptable to it.

Purple – Exactly! This is me all the way.

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:22 am

kimmie, I SEE YOU GOT ENGAGED AND I’M SO SUPER HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You prob already told the story but I wanna hear how he did it. Did he incorporate the kids?

BlackMagicWoman

January 3rd, 2011
11:25 am

SLIM….Celeb CT???? :lol: Girl you are so friggin’ crazy!
Well Gloria’s sister (IBM…Instant Baby Maker) is knocked up with his “4th” child. And she has been his fiance for a while. No marriage but the babies keep on coming. Now he has dumped her and his kids. I do not feel bad for her. You do not keep popping out babies and you aer not married to that man!

NY2GA

January 3rd, 2011
11:29 am

Kimmie – Your 11:18, tell’em how you really feel. I am from NY and I can tell you it’s not an Atlanta thing. Some women in NY make it easy, just like every other city (Miami and LA included).

Personally, I have no preference. I like to pursue the women and I definitely like it if a woman lets me know she is interested … Nothing wrong with that… I see it as a win/win!!!

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
11:30 am

kimmie, got engaged? First I was like :( then I was like :)

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:30 am

I do not feel bad for her. You do not keep popping out babies and you aer not married to that man!

Sad but true. He’s dogged her out their whole relationship. They had a very messy paternity battle. They break up, then reconcile long enough to get pregnant again. Do better.

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:31 am

Purple Rain – Why was your married behind :(

:lol:

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:31 am

Amred – Thanks!

Actually I did not tell the story to the blog yet, but it was very sweet:

I was in the kitchen cooking on Christmas eve. He & his son & daughter were in the basement playing. He sent his son up to tell me to come down because he wanted to show me something. I said okay. When I came down the stairs, all 3 were at the foot of the stairs. He said “Will you marry us?”. He put the ring on my finger, he picked it out and it was just the kind of ring I wanted! I screamed, then said yes, then cried a little, then kissed and hugged them all!

My family is especially excited. I am sort of in a daze, it’s all a little unreal, but very nice. My coworkers are happy for me too.

He has a 21 year old daughter and she got engaged on Christmas too. She was very excited too.

SlimNumeroUno

January 3rd, 2011
11:35 am

kimmie – awwwwww, well Congrats!!!!!

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:35 am

kimmie – That was super sweet! I love how he made the kids part of the process.

Maybe you guys can have a double wedding with his daughter! :lol:

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:39 am

Amred – We’re going to Vegas. I leave all that big wedding stuff to the youngsters! :lol:

i'm swiss™

January 3rd, 2011
11:39 am

Congrats, kimmie!!

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:40 am

Thanks Slim!

Purple – :lol:

i'm swiss™

January 3rd, 2011
11:40 am

By the way, if you need a male skripper for your bachelorette party, I’ll give you my card… :lol:

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:40 am

Thank u swiss!

SlimNumeroUno

January 3rd, 2011
11:43 am

swiss – So what wardrobe/costume options do you…oops I mean your service offer? :mrgreen:

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:44 am

@i’m swiss ~ I know kimmie, and if you give her that card she’s going to burn it in the incinerator.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

January 3rd, 2011
11:46 am

““Will you marry us?”.”

Now that’s whats up!!! Kudos again, Kimmie!!! I tell ya, underneath all this armor, I’m sucha sap!

BlackMagicWoman

January 3rd, 2011
11:46 am

KIMMIE,..that is too sweet! So are you going to get hitched in Vegas before his daughter’s nuptials?

i'm swiss™

January 3rd, 2011
11:48 am

Slim — I’ll take off wear any costume you like… :lol:

“…if you give her that card she’s going to burn it in the incinerator.”

Well d@mn, Leggs… that was just cold… :( Guess I’ll just go kick rocks over in the corner… ;-) :lol:

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
11:50 am

Amazon, because she was my blog wife. LOL

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:50 am

:lol: :lol: Just saying she’s not into skrippers….she only wants to see her man skript…that’s all Imma saying.

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
11:51 am

Leggs, did you announce the winners of the list you had?

i'm swiss™

January 3rd, 2011
11:53 am

Leggs — That’s cool… I’ll allow it. Now you on the other hand… You know Valentine’s day is just around the corner and nothing says “love” like some white chocolate with nuts… :lol:

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:54 am

@PR, not yet. Will do after lunch.

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
11:55 am

@i’m swiss ~ I almost choked on these pecans I’m eating…too funny!

AmazonRed™ - beat up her alarm clock

January 3rd, 2011
11:55 am

Amazon, because she was my blog wife. LOL

She still can be! :lol:

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
11:57 am

Amazon, but she was the one I loved not like the others who just got my rocks off. LOL

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
11:58 am

2C – I was telling a lady here in the office about it that is a bit of a sap too, and she started tearing up and got me teary! :)

BMW – Yeah, we’ll thinking within the next few months. She on the other hand, is planning a fairly large affair and she & her fiance’ are trying to save up, so they are thinking their date may be about a year away.

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
12:00 pm

Purple – I still blog luv ya!

Thank u all for your warm wishes!

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
12:03 pm

Being in love is awesome, congrats again kimmie. Love is just great and to be with the person you love the most on this earth and just build your lover together is a beautiful thing. All jokes aside there is nothing like just being in love to the point that you can not ever think of a way to express and knowing that person loves you the same. I am really happy for him because if you are one ounce of the women that you portray on this blog he is a blessed man! “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and favor……..”

I sincerely wish you all the best!!!!!!!!!!

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
12:04 pm

kimmie, :) . I’m not going to share he can have all of you, he deserves it. LOL

kimmie

January 3rd, 2011
12:08 pm

Purple – Thank you, that means alot, your 12:03. Now I’m getting teary again!

BlackMagicWoman

January 3rd, 2011
12:11 pm

“Valentine’s day is just around the corner and nothing says “love” like some white chocolate with nuts”

:lol: I loves me some Swiss! That is one crazy man! Got me chocking in grapes as I read this and laugh at you!

LEGGS… I had another added category…”Most likely to star in an episode of “Snapped”! :lol:

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
12:12 pm

That was a beautiful post, PR!

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
12:13 pm

Leggs

January 3rd, 2011
12:15 pm

@BMW ~ that would have been a great category. :lol:

Purple Rain

January 3rd, 2011
12:16 pm

Leggs, thanks. I know I joke tons but I am such a sucker for love and my wife just makes me love her more and more daily. And if anyone can have that feeling that I have with my wife in their relationship with their lover..I know that they are just happy, joyful and warm inside. From what kimmie has shared about her and her future husband I feel that another “victory” has been chalked up in the win column for real love!

(you all know that I am really going to have to act up this afternoon since I am being all mushy this morning LOL)