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Archive for December, 2010

Are you a seasonal fling?

I know. It sounds like some kind of flu bug that you catch, right? Maybe it’s harsh to think that your new romance is just a fling. Nobody wants to be “boo’d” up for the winter months only to find out that once the temps return to above freezing (seriously Atlanta?!) , you’re going to be swiftly dismissed. It happens to the best of us!

It’s sort of a running joke with this guy I am seeing now. We both have a sarcastic, sometimes dark humor, so when I actually call him my winter dude, he chuckles. I don’t truly think there is an expiration date on the romance, but that little joke we have going sort of takes off any pressure to commit too soon.

Do you think that you date in seasons? Do you have a tendency to couple up and get close to someone just to snuggle with them? Is that necessarily a bad thing?

How do you know if you are just a fling to someone? If that is all that you are interested in, should you let the person know? Do you think that would prevent them from …

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Do you need a date or a therapist?

I was a little surprised as I listened to Paul recount his last date with 32 year old Catherine. They had been seeing each other for a few weeks and date # 2 is when things got a little awkward. Paul said that Catherine turned a romantic evening into a “couch session” and talked about a lot of uncomfortable topics.

Things went from bad to worse when she started to cry. Paul is a nice guy so he tried to be a good listener and offer some solace. I don’t think she needs a date, she should hire a therapist instead!

I am not sure if this is common with women lately but a lot of people are probably better off taking a break from dating. There are a lot of single people walking around heart broken and wounded. If you don’t take the time to address your issues, you could end up scaring someone off.

Have you ever met someone who was a little too needy, too soon? What would you do if you were seeing someone and they unloaded some truly heavy emotional stuff?

I think it would be …

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Romantically Challenged?

Some of us have to work a little harder to be romantic. It just doesn’t come naturally and it makes it challenging to impress the person we really really like. So what is a romantically challenged person to do?

It’s like the old saying, practice makes perfect. Or you could go the whole “fake it till you make it” route. I think romance is one of those things that you get credit for effort and thought.

If you could plan an evening or weekend of romance, what would you want to do? If money was no object, what is the most romantic thing you could pull off?

Just because you are romantically challenged, doesn’t mean you are doomed to disappoint your dates. Creativity goes a long way!

Take time to listen to what your date is really into and start there. If a guy I was seeing found an event where my favorite author is appearing; or found out where my favorite local band (The 54) was playing and took me there, I would be smitten!

What is the most romantic thing someone has ever …

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Has masculinity changed?

I grew up around men who built stuff, hunted, and were skilled at fixing cars. I think many of the men in my family still play traditional roles but I’m not sure how the next generation has embraced them.

A lot of people are used to traditional gender roles but I always wonder how much has changed, especially when it comes to the male roles. We are in a different time, so a lot things are different today. Do you think the definition of masculinity has changed?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

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Date warning labels. Yes, please

Warning labels may not be written on a post-it note and smacked on a person’s forehead, but they are there. Oh, but what if they did exist?

Danger: This man is prone to become jealous of your male friends that pose no threat.

Caution: This man has the worst bedroom skills ever.

Beware: This man has the best bedroom skills ever. You will become disillusioned and dazed, enter at your own risk.

Alert! This man has the personality of a lobotomized turkey.

Wouldn’t it be cool if there were warning labels to save us the wasted time and trouble of finding out the hard way?

It would also be interesting if we had “good warning labels” that would be like an engaging preview to the coming attractions of a wonderful movie. Good warning signs would tell all the great things you have to offer someone who is deserving of your best.

Caution: Fiercely loyal. Will motivate and support your dreams and won’t let you give up on them.

Beware: Has a tendency to relentlessly pursue your …

Continue reading Date warning labels. Yes, please »

Top dating mistakes: Are you on the DNA list?

DNA is the DO NOT ANSWER list in a cell phone. It’s reserved for the folks that have shown a side of themselves that took them out of the running. A lot of dating mistakes land you on the DNA list but you may not even realize why or when you got DNA-listed!

I’m probably on someone’s DNA list because I have a very bad habit of acting too aloof. It’s this stupid behavior I have that I’m pretty sure has sent the wrong message to the right guy! I believe my DNA list is fairly short. Only two gents are on it. One for having a tendency to drink too much and call me, the other because he made plans with me and didn’t follow through.

What makes you put a person on your DNA list? I’m curious to know if men ever flag women they date or do they just put their numbers in the “in case of emergency” list aka the little black book?

What makes you not want to take someone’s phone call?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

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Size me up: Is bigger better?

I managed to drag this guy to a chick flick this weekend to see the film Love and Other Drugs. It actually more nudity than your average romantic comedy/love story, so he didn’t complain much!

One of the funnier scenes in the film was when one of the male characters worried how he measured up to his brother in terms of “package” size.

I suppose it is one of the few things men obsess about, almost as much as women worry about their breast size or any other random body part we want to improve.

Although some of us devote some time thinking about it, do you think that bigger really is better?

How much difference do you think it makes when you are trying attract someone?

I am always shocked when men can even guess a bra size. I doubt they rule women out altogether based on that alone, though.

Do you think “size” could be a deal breaker?

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Do you need a dating do over?

Have you ever been in the heat of the moment and mistakenly said something you wish you could take back? Perhaps you said the wrong name in bed, or blurted out I love you when you weren’t really ready to say it. You have this feeling of dread and you suddenly wish your life was operated by TiVo.

I can tell you that do overs are like Keebler elves, they don’t exist. I believe you can recover and smooth things over, though. Just ignoring it won’t help, it will become like this weird awkward elephant in the room that you can’t really get around. Facing it as soon as possible is going to let you move on quicker and forget about it.

One of my friend sent someone a racy picture and he really regrets it now! I don’t know what he was thinking but I told him to just apologize to her since she was offended. He may have to up his game and show his gentlemanly side even more to recover but I think she may give him a pass if she really likes him.

When have you ever wished for a do …

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Dating dilemma: Relationship staleness

You know the moment your hot new romance takes a nosedive? When one or both of you let things get stale. When the novelty wears off and you become completely comfortable with one another, it’s natural that things slip into some degree of..well boredom.

This happens to every couple at some point. There is no need to panic and do something stupid like break up or go hook up with someone else. If you are committed to making the relationship last, you have to spice things up!

I know a lot of single people that have a fear of marriage because they believe they would be bored to tears after the first five years. Whether you are dating or married, there will have to be some kind of “work” involved to keep your relationship from getting stale.

Do you ever worry about boredom and staleness in your relationship or marriage? How would you handle that if it were to happen to you?

Should you be willing to do anything, within reason, to get things red hot again? I’m not a huge fan of …

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Get involved: World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day, a day to “act aware” of HIV and AIDS and get involved in the many efforts that are underway to raise money, raise awareness, and learn the latest information on protecting yourself and others.

There are a lot of community events going on in Atlanta – which is a great way to meet new people, by the way (just sayin‘):

A portion of the AIDS quilt will be on display in Atlanta, with thousands of panels being displayed at Emory’s McDonough Field from 10:30 – 4:00.

Atlanta City Hall will hold a candlelight vigil at 5:00 pm; “Mayor Kasim Reed is partnering with (RED)™ to show his support in the fight to help eliminate AIDS by turning Atlanta City Hall and other buildings around the city (RED)™ ”

Most importantly, it’s a great day to get tested. It’s all about education and prevention and supporting those who are living with HIV and AIDS. How do you plan to get involved?

Obviously, single people have to consider HIV and AIDS if they decide to become …

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