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Boomerang: When BAD dating karma finds you

I think every single woman needs a male friend. It’s one of the most enlightening relationships you can have because it gives you a chance to see men in a unfiltered, uncensored state. My guy friends are fairly candid with me about what they feel, how they deal, and the way they think. It has saved me a boatload of therapy to know them!

When they are going through a tough break up, I try to be supportive. I have seen them in their player days when they didn’t care so much about heartbreak they caused. I have also witnessed the moment when they realize that a female has “their nose wide open” and they are vulnerable for the first time ever.

This is when they get a little taste of what women go through. Men deal with breakups differently then we do but they definitely feel it as deeply as we do, especially when cheating was involved!

How do men deal with break-ups? From what I can tell, a lot of booze and sport fixation. They begin to meet as many women as possible to forget the one that betrayed him. Of course, this doesn’t do anything but distract them temporarily.

Have you ever watched someone who was a player suddenly get a little taste of what they put others through? Were you a heart breaker that seemed to get a little of that heartbreak back in one bad breakup or relationship?

What did you learn when you bad karma caught up to you? Do you think it changed how you handled dating after that experience?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

443 comments Add your comment

YesSheIsCute

December 28th, 2010
8:52 am

YesSheIsCute

December 28th, 2010
8:55 am

I’ve seen it happen to an ex. I pretended to feel sorry for him b/c I didn’t want to kick him while he was down but inside I was smiling like Irish eyes. :)

I’ve heard it happen to someone I dealt with. From what I hear his life is in shambles. But then the person who told it to me…they exaggerate a bit. I don’t feel sorry for him one bit. I personally believe that these things make better people in the long run. It doesn’t have to be all out string of the worst luck but sometimes a familiar bump in a road will make you a little socially wiser than you were before.

YesSheIsCute

December 28th, 2010
8:56 am

btw Good morning everyone. It will be a new year on Saturday!!!! :)

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 28th, 2010
8:59 am

g’morning…

“Have you ever watched someone who was a player suddenly get a little taste of what they put others through? Were you a heart breaker that seemed to get a little of that heartbreak back in one bad breakup or relationship?’

yeah, it happens to the best of us! With me, I just knew I was invincible when it came to some “get-back”…but this one broad got me good!!! I mean real good….but, like R. Kelly said, “when a woman’s fed up,” you can cry a river…..it’sa wrap!

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 28th, 2010
9:02 am

oh, and don’t cry Bird Fans…Tampa Bay will get New Orleans for y’all next week….

Beautiful

December 28th, 2010
9:06 am

gmorn ev1!

i have a few guy friends, but they’re fb friends! i like it this way. i honestly would not like them in my real life. i dont think men and women can be just friends w/o some sexual vibe/something going on. i enjoy their support and esp their candid nature with me re men.

one of them is going thru a breakup now. i tell him my pov which he needs cause he doesnt understand how selfish she is. i explained to him about order… God, husband, kids. she doesnt see how putting her friends and her baby daddys primary is hurting him.

*Of course, this doesn’t do anything but distract them temporarily.* this is what i’m hoping for… insider!

right now a player is getn a taste of his own medicine. he wants to date me, i think, but i keep rejecting his invitation to get reaquainted. i went to hs with him. i know by reading him on fb that he is on the hunt for the next smash and i’m not inviting that into my life. i dont think he has ever been rejected b4. i think i really hurt his feeling on xmas by not responding *merry xmas to you also* via text. *shrugs* he was very blunt on how me so called ignoring his text hurt him. i just dont see him on the same level as me.

Kym-wearing Black and Yellow

December 28th, 2010
9:07 am

Good Morning All,

Have you ever watched someone who was a player suddenly get a little taste of what they put others through? Ohh Yeah.. and the response is classic..Why they got to do me like that? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. An because the player EGO is so inflated..the response of..but this is ME..is just too funny to watch.

SlimNumeroUno

December 28th, 2010
9:10 am

Good morning,

Sitting back waiting to see what the men will have to say about this topic. (Slim now having my morning cup-o-joe)

DreamsMaterialize

December 28th, 2010
9:13 am

Morning
I don’t wish bad things on anyone I’ve ever dated…it’s not my place. The Creator will handle all things as they should be handled. I just try to live MY life right and focus on claiming the rewards that are already waiting for me.

Beautiful

December 28th, 2010
9:13 am

happy new year Kym, Slim, 2C! i’m bringing in 2011 at church this year. :) the way i’ve been living isn’t working, so i’mma try this new beginning diff. #blessings

Delight23...resolving early

December 28th, 2010
9:21 am

Bom dia peoples! Witnessed? Yes. Caused? Yes. The most painful part was the first time I realized how badly I had hurt someone. I learned that yes penises have hearts too. :oops:

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
9:25 am

Good day everybody.

“How do men handle breakups?”

Most men should handle breakups LOGICALLY. The best thing to do is to be self reflective, learn from it and move on. I know that sounds simple, but it is.

The problem is most guys have a vindictive mentality when they go through a breakup and want to repay every woman for what another woman did. You cant operate like that.

The best advice I heard was that if you know why the woman left you, you weren’t doing something right. All that means is you never know when a woman is going to break bad on you and go left.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
9:30 am

Question for the blog;

Can women be players?

SlimNumeroUno

December 28th, 2010
9:34 am

Howdy Beautiful…sounds like a good plan. Let us know how this new way of living pans out for you. ;-)

Kym-wearing Black and Yellow

December 28th, 2010
9:39 am

Hey there Beautiful..Happy New Year’s!!

Kym-wearing Black and Yellow

December 28th, 2010
9:43 am

I know it’s too early..but now can I get some love on my Superbowl prediction? Cause…err..I am seeing some birds in the big show and they ain’t the Falcons..

EX- Playette

December 28th, 2010
9:46 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rhf5n27BGc

@M. – Ladies don’t play, We just crush a lot! :)

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
9:50 am

@Ex Playette

LOL thats the new trend now….lol women who are laying up with alot of dudes and calling themselves players lol #fail

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 28th, 2010
9:55 am

“now can I get some love on my Superbowl prediction?”

I knew those were some picks when you posted them last week….the Falcons are a good “regular season” team…come Nov, and Dec, they crumble.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 28th, 2010
9:55 am

Sassy Me..Fire and Desire :-)

December 28th, 2010
9:56 am

Have you ever watched someone who was a player suddenly get a little taste of what they put others through?

Yes I did and I liked it…who am I kidding…sh!t I revelled in it. Dude cheated on me with this chick who later said she was pregnant. Fast forward ~6-7 months and she has twins…one of which needed a transfusion…so he hauled azz out of state to the hospital and said “I’m here to see if I’m a match for my son’t transfusion”…the nurse looked at him and said “Sir, the father’s already been here, and left him standing there looking like :shock:

When his sister told me that I was like uh huh I told you they weren’t your babies….you suckaaaa :mrgreen:

TenderRoni

December 28th, 2010
9:57 am

gm everybody,
I really like that post Dreams, thats me.

What is the definition of a playa these days?

EX- Playette

December 28th, 2010
10:03 am

@M. it was just humor – you sound a little bitter – would you like to talk?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:03 am

@Ex Play

LOL no Im good. I havent heard that song in forever, 1998! lol

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:08 am

I haven’t had the opportunity of a witnessing a player go thru dating karma.
However, I am a former player that had to (and sometimes still does) go thru dating Karma.
One event that I can recall was when I dated a really good dude and treated him like caca. Of course we broke up and I had to date other guys that treated me liike caca for me to learn my lesson. I am no longer a player. I have learned to treat others with respect
The good dude is now married to a better woman and I always felt that if I had treated him a lot better than maybe I would have been married by now instead of having single misadventures in Atlanta.
I finally had the opportunity to apologize to the dude and he forgave me. I can finally put the past to rest and if GOD seems fit, maybe he will bless me with a husband.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:13 am

@I am whatever you say I am

So what made you a player exactly?

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:17 am

M.
I think that if I was treated better in my home life then maybe I would have treated others better and not be a player. I believe that your foundation for relationships starts off in your home. That is your only real example.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:22 am

@I am whatever

Oh ok. So are you saying you really could not be faithful/loyal to one guy at a time?

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:24 am

M. among other things, yes.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:25 am

Oh ok. Understood. So in your opinion, what makes a guy a player?

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:33 am

M. simply put a guy is a player if he plays games, is not sincere with intentions, tells a chick a bunch of lies just to keep her around while he bangs other chicks-keeping her under the impression that she is the one and only.

Why Lie? Just be honest. There are chicks out there who will date a guy and could care less whether or not he has someone else. If a guy wants to be a player then maybe he should play along with that chick.

After I had to come to terms with my hurt, pain, etc….being a player is not for me. I’m honest up front. If i don’t want to be in a relationship with someone, I don’t let it go there.
It’s amazing how when you respect yourself and are honest with others, you get paired up with others like-minded.

Celisea

December 28th, 2010
10:33 am

Have you ever watched someone who was a player suddenly get a little taste of what they put others through?

I think we talked about this a month or so ago. I’ve witnessed a person that couldn’t catch a break and I truly believe it was because of his attitude and behavior towards the women he dealt with. As I’ve grown I don’t give a second thought to folks getting back what they’ve dished….I know for certain that it ALWAYS circle back. Not necessarily always paid back in the same form dished but returned in some form none the less.

Tancred

December 28th, 2010
10:34 am

“How do men deal with break-ups? From what I can tell, a lot of booze and sport fixation. They begin to meet as many women as possible to forget the one that betrayed him. Of course, this doesn’t do anything but distract them temporarily.”

I generally heave a sigh of relief, considering that most relationships are not really meant (evolutionarily)to go on that long anyway. I think the changes in hormones and seratonin that result from coitus do create a temnporary bond, but that bond often contradicts common sense in terms of other areas of compatibility. I’d rather be “just friends” with women rather than deal with all that emo crap and the alledged obligation to be “true” to a certain person just because you two did “the nasty.” Ever since the pill and viagra-type drugs, it seems a lot of women assume that they “deserve” a “sex life,” whatever that is. One can live a fine and happy life without having sex. If you don’t have sex, then the relationshp can grow in other ways. Didn’t the writer of this post say that such a platonic relationship is “…one of the most enlightening relationships you can have.” Why mess it up with hedonistic sex and skewed notions of sexual fidelity once you do?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:39 am

@I am whatever

LOL actually thats what makes a guy a player is his ability to be honest and not deceive women and still keep them around.

Men are players because they can lock a woman down with their mouthpiece. That is his bread and butter.

Women are not players because their bread and butter is their physical. Thats what locks a guy down but the catch 22 is if you take the physical out of the picture, the guy really wont be locked down.

Your thoughts?

Beautiful

December 28th, 2010
10:41 am

if y’all lookn for something to google and jam to… Dr Hook – Sexy Eyes! #memories

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 28th, 2010
10:46 am

Beautiful…..go back to sleep!

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:48 am

“LOL actually thats what makes a guy a player is his ability to be honest and not deceive women and still keep them around. ”
why would be be a player if he is only with one chick?
M.
I think you missed my point. A guy that is honest and upfront, not juggling multiple women, does not make him a player.

A guy that is honest and upfront about having multiple chicks does not make him a player either. The chick that gets involved with him hoping that she can be the only chick , hoping that he will commit to only her, makes her played.

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:50 am

DreamsMaterialize

December 28th, 2010
10:52 am

I havent heard that song in forever, 1998!
M did the 90’s leave a bad taste in your mouth bruh? lol

I really like that post Dreams, thats me.

What is the definition of a playa these days?
Tenderoni glad we’re on the same page. It doesn’t make sense worrying about what happens to someone else. And I always thought a playa was someone who understood the game and could navigate it successfully.

As I’ve grown I don’t give a second thought to folks getting back what they’ve dished…
Celisea Agreed. For people who do worry about this, what happens when the person who did you dirty turns around and has an awesome life? Are they bitter about that?

I am you were playin ‘em and slayin ‘em one-nightin’ them hoes, cold mackin? lol

SlimNumeroUno

December 28th, 2010
10:52 am

So fellas, How do men deal with break-ups?

Leggs ~ Just Like You (Sapphire CD)

December 28th, 2010
10:53 am

Damn, been trying to post for 45 mins now.

Good morning.

Just got back from court and the Judge gave the snot-nosed boy an additional 30 days in jail.

@2C ~ the blog award categories are in. Pls check mail.

Leggs ~ Just Like You (Sapphire CD)

December 28th, 2010
10:54 am

Ok, I took out my comment to you, I Am, and my post went through. Don’t know which word blogmaster did not like.

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
10:56 am

Leggs: Hmmm…..

Dreams: I was a cold cold woman. Glad I am not her anymore

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
10:56 am

@Slim

We deal with breakups by looking within and taking responsibility rather than blaming and feeling sorry for ourselves.

I usually take a break after a break up, travel more, work out more, tune up and get ready to get back in the game soon.

QC - Still on the Dirty Birds Bus

December 28th, 2010
10:58 am

GO TAMPA BAY!!! This is a great topic..hope you all are staying warm…have a great day :)

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
11:00 am

random: I think this guy may like me a little more than I like him.
He’s kewl and all but I think I want to hold out and see what’s behind door #3
I might have to go ghost a little while…….

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
11:00 am

LOL! why do people say this is a great topic but don’t share their thoughts on the topic.
LOL!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 28th, 2010
11:01 am

@ I am

If he wants to juggle multiple chicks and everyone is cool with it and hes not lying and sneaking around like batman, that makes him a player. He can be secure with himself knowing he has told everyone the truth and they respect that.

“A guy that is honest and upfront about having multiple chicks does not make him a player either.”

So what does that make him?

I am whatever you say I am

December 28th, 2010
11:01 am

LOL: this blog is like a group therapy session.
ALOL!!!!

BlackMagicWoman

December 28th, 2010
11:01 am

SASSY…girl I waould have laughed so hard that I would have passed out Karma is a beyotch! And she bites too…right in the a$$! :lol:

I have had guys cheat on me…..90% of them come calling after some time has passed saying that they were stupid and that I was too nice and geniune..blah blah blah. I tune out everything they say after that. Now comes the stilletto to the balls. I just torture them until they realize once you cheat on me I HATE you and there is NOTHING you can say or do to change that. The mere sight or smell of the loser sickens me. It also wakes up my evil side. So I may play the “supportive friend” if some other girl hurts them. Meanwhile I’d be giving the subliminal messages to further grease the sliding board into to misery! “Caution…slippery when wet”! :lol: Muhahahaha…and again…muhahahaha!