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Should you wait for a date?

You always hear dating advice to women about how men are supposed to pursue you when they are truly interested. We know that “when he’s into you” he will and then you will know that it’s real.

I don’t know if that is always the case though. A lot of men are laid back and take things slow because they don’t like to rush things. If you meet someone that you are interested in, how long should you wait to go out with them?

For some people, the process is: swap phone numbers; hold a few conversations on the phone to weed out the crazies or married people; text and/or email; add each other on Facebook; schedule a date. I have known at least three relationships that started this way. The date didn’t get set up right away at all.

Is there a time frame when a date should be scheduled? If someone hasn’t asked you out, do you move on right away and cut off communication?

How long do you usually wait to set up a date after you meet someone?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

293 comments Add your comment

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
8:39 am

A man that waits too long risks the “friend zone” where is not a sexual threat/thought.

Too aggressive, and you may scare her off.

Ultimately, it comes down to deciding if this female is worth the time/effort of pursuit (”qualifying” aside). Once that decision is made, it’s full steam ahead.

To the point, no one should wait; state your intentions, let the object of your affection decide and KIP.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
8:42 am

gmorn! tryn to take a fb break… thot i wud visit this week. or maybe not cause this blog doesnt hold my attention that long anymore. shoot, its been i think over four yrs!

anyhoo, it goes both ways for me. i pursue the ones i know like me as much as i like him, but he wont make the move. he loved it. or they jus prolly like the attention. who doesnt like to get attention? or spoiled with advances? but im an impatient dater. i like stuff to pop off now. the only thing that must wait is my kiddies. off limits!

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
8:44 am

G’morning….

For the most part, I agree with Dan…”it comes down to deciding if this female is worth the time/effort of pursuit.”

But on the other hand, not too sure if this is always the case, “A man that waits too long risks the “friend zone” where is not a sexual threat/thought.”

sometimes waiting can be to you benefit.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
8:46 am

Beautiful…..so you want everything to “pop off now,” but you ain’t shakin nothing? gal, please!

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
8:48 am

wait wait wait wait….thats still a mystery i cannot solve when it comes to women…make me wait because you want a relationship…but you will screw the next dude on the same day….dont understand that….then women will try and sell you that the relationship and waiting or her friendship is the best option for you….lol…..naw i want the “nut” option you gave the last dude..lol

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
8:49 am

@2C

I’m talking about that window between “yeah, he can get it” to “we should shop (talk about hair, makeup, etc).”

IE the moment she gets too comfortable.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
8:53 am

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
8:55 am

@Rell

That’s not a mystery, that’s a choice.

Respect the fact that she made it and react accordingly.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
8:57 am

my thing is why wait? chemistry is right… we are attracted to each other… we make each other laugh… we aint getn married, we`re jus gonna try dating to get to know each other better.

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
9:01 am

@Beautiful

The problem is outcome.

The linear equation usually ends at two different points: for you, “getting to know him”; for him GTD, then “getting to know you”.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
9:02 am

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
9:04 am

@dan…we know your smart brah….my comment was made in jest…did i miss sometime on the calendar or something..lol…lighten up…its christmas

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

YesSheIsCute

December 20th, 2010
9:04 am

Good morning everyone! I am socrates when it comes to dating. I know that I know nothing. I guess I just don’t have an opinion anymore…. hehe

@ Rell lol! but seriously I dont understand why guys do that. I was talking to one guy awhile ago and he gave me the spanish inquisition about my last relationships and why they didnt work out and he was wondering why he had to “suffer” (i.e. make him wait), when I rushed into it with the last dude. I was like either you like me and you can slow your roll or you don’t like me that much so which one is it? I explained to him that I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not trying to get my feelings hurt again….but yeah he kinda acted like i was depriving him of food.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
9:07 am

does that stand for getn the drawls? hehe… i honestly dont see nothing wrong with that. i hate that that is considered unclassy or not lady like. cus i totally understand where you fellas are coming from.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
9:09 am

@Yessheiscute…its a valid question…why were you so on fire before and now that you know better you want to go slow….from a mans view..its a knock to our ego…like what i am not hot enough or do you think I am that square to wait for you…so what have you learn to make you wait?…do you not feel that you were a part of the last breakup?

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
9:10 am

@Rell

Believe it or not, this is how I am, I’m not trying to show out/off for anyone. And, my comment wasn’t meant to come off as in any way serious.

@Beautiful

About that picnic 2C was talking about….

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
9:11 am

lol @ depriving him of food! gotta use that.

blue©

December 20th, 2010
9:15 am

Morning People,

i dont understand thsi whole waiting thing. if you’re interestd, do the d@mn thing! all this adhering to rules of dating and specified timeframes imo is crazy. you wait your week or 2 or whatever to be in the appropriate zone and he/she has grown interested in someone else by the time you make your intentions known. you snooze, you lose.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
9:16 am

Blogging from my IPAQ…phone lines down at work so laptop not connected. I think if there’s some interest established between the two then a few phone conversations or some means of communication are in order. However and ultimately a face to face should be closely followed. You wouldn’t want to chat things up and extended amount of time only to find personally and physically it’s not a match.

Beautiful

December 20th, 2010
9:18 am

i agree blue!

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
9:22 am

@blue…i always thought the same thing…but a couple of weeks ago…I read an article by this guy that states…if she makes you wait be happy – it means she thinks you are boyfriend material…I just LMAO and thought…man i bet you somewhere there is a guy that believes the wait/friend zone is where the action is at…lol

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
9:22 am

It’s Monday….please forgive the typos

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
9:22 am

lighten up…its christmas

For real right?! :lol:

When it comes to waiting I think you should do what you feel comfortable doing…be it waiting or not. There can be draw backs or good turnouts to both scenarios…if you wait you might miss an oopportunity or you might win out b/c of your patience. On the other hand if you rush into it things might still work out or someone may get his/her feelings hurt so either way it’s a mixed bag. I think it’s a situation we have to gauge each time.

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
9:26 am

Morning People. Sleepy as all get -out. :-(

Is it Wednesday yet :?:

@Dan, seriously seems like jokes. @Rell, that silent brooding thing depends on the subject/environment. My understanding is that “powerful” people are succint and deliberate. Quiet :?: :roll:

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
9:28 am

@topic: I’m grown and get to the point. I won’t waste your time, please don’t waste mine. Are U single, married, invovled, looking to decrease or increase the current line-up, etc.

Is it wrong that I want a shot of Kahlua in my coffee right now? :?

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
9:31 am

Is it wrong that I want a shot of Kahlua in my coffee right now?

No not at all…I wouldn’t mind a shot myself. ;-)

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
9:32 am

No computer sux! It’s too cold on the other side of the floor to migrate

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
9:34 am

If you asked me, I would tell you to wait and let the friendship develop…so on and so forth. But if history is any indication, I’ve always ended up with the guy who just jumped right in there…always sooner than I was confortable. LOL

blue©

December 20th, 2010
9:58 am

@Rell – the blue chewy? lol. gotta wonder where these so-called experts get this advice from. if i make you wait, it has nothing to do with thinking your boyfriend material. its more along the line of thinking your not boyfriend material…just a tad backwards imo…

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
9:59 am

Morning Gang!

It’s been MY experience that guys that waited forever to ask me out were usually trifling. Might sound harsh, but like I said, that’s the way it always worked. They were usually the cheap ones with no style. Again, just my experience. Nothing whatsoever to wait on. I’ve gotten frustrated and went on and suggested meeting up, but I don’t like having to do that. I’m old school, again, that’s me & how I am. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out here and a dude that’s too lame to go on and do the dang thang is probably lame in other areas too. My experience. Yes, you will quickly get put in the friend zone, because while you’re still trying to make up your mind, I’m already out with someone else.

I like a man that knows what he wants and goes after it, period. Everyone that I liked and ended up spending more that a few dates with reacted that way. It’s really quite simple – we met in whatever manner we met, talked a bit and made plans to see each other. If you’re assertive in pursuing me 9 times out of 10 you are assertive in other areas of your life, like your career, causes you are passionate about, etc. I like that – a person that LIVES their life, instead of letting life live them!

He who hesitates is lost, with me anyway!

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
9:59 am

I will say this though…if you have that “connection” you will have at least connected well enough to have an established friendship :)

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:02 am

Oh, and miss me with the “you let that other dude do XYZ, why not me” mess. We’re talking getting to the first DATE here. We shouldn’t even be discussing what I did or didn’t do with other dudes and how fast I let them do things at that point, if ever.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
10:02 am

@blue…the blue chewy = viagra..lol

Yea i thought the same thing..but that just goes to point out how “mass media” trys to soften the male…I always thought that if i am in the wait zone she is not too excited about me…meaning she cant go show me off to her friends….etc etc…

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:03 am

Good day…

“Is there a time frame when a date should be scheduled? If someone hasn’t asked you out, do you move on right away and cut off communication?”

I think the time frame should be within the first week. If you offer to take her out and she agrees but then flakes out, toss the number. Shes really not interested. If someone wants to go out with you, they will make time. If they have to stay up late, sacrifice sleep, get a babysitter, or board their dog, they will find a way to go out with you. Simple & Plain!

I think the biggest problem and mistake people make in dating is if the first date goes well, and a second and third date goes into the mix, people dont know when to reciprocate. Usually if the guy is planning and making all the dates, some women dont know when they should start reciprocating. This is a huge turn off for guys because after a while he is going to feel like he is “Trying out for the woman” and he may just let it go.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
10:08 am

please forgive me if I’m reading y’all ladies wrong, but from what I’m reading, y’all saying don’t procrastinate in asking you out; be assertive, aggressive, and all that other stuff, right?

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:11 am

2Can – I don’t speak for the others, but yes, do the dang thang. I hate being sort of dangling, not knowing if you are really feeling me and interested in getting to know me or just being nice. Make you interest clear.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:11 am

please forgive me if I’m reading y’all ladies wrong, but from what I’m reading, y’all saying don’t procrastinate in asking you out; be assertive, aggressive, and all that other stuff, right?

All day long. You want it, you asked….go for it. More than likely that spark or fire you felt initially will simmer if you smooze too long.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:13 am

@Rell

LOL I feel what you are saying. I honestly think us guys end up waiting sometimes because when we meet a woman, its like we have to get in line because there are USUALLy (I am generalizing) 4 guys in her life when you come in:

1. A guy that has bf potential but they may not be their just yet.
2. An Ex who she is still on and off with.
3. A FWB
4. A male friend who is like a brother or just likes hanging around her.

blue©

December 20th, 2010
10:19 am

@2C – y’all saying don’t procrastinate in asking you out; be assertive, aggressive, and all that other stuff, right – for me, yes…and that if im really interested myself, im gonna be “assertive, aggresive, and all that other stuff” lol

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:19 am

4 guys in her life when you come in:
1. A guy that has bf potential but they may not be their just yet.
2. An Ex who she is still on and off with.
3. A FWB
4. A male friend who is like a brother or just likes hanging around her

That’s a bit presumptous don’t you think? Everybody don’t have exes just hanging on and hanging around and everybody don’t aimlessly do the do. You can scratch off at least 2…lol

Y'all are Kidz

December 20th, 2010
10:20 am

If a guy pretends not to show interest and wants to take it slow, he doesn’t care that much about you, or he has a better piece and you are his back up plan.
If the dude digs you, he’s one step from being a pain in the ass. The other problem is, if he just wants to tag it, he’s the same way.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
10:20 am

Kimmie, Celisea, why don’t y’all ask the dude out, then?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:23 am

Celisea, why don’t y’all ask the dude out, then?

2Can – When is your next trip to Atlanta? Can I take you out? I kid I kid…What I’m saying though is if you’ve shown a spark of interest and the ball is rolling, we need to move forward…get the dang thing going. I mean once we’re on the phone or communicating I have no problem asking….soooo when are we going to do this?

I’m leaning with Kimmie though, if you’re slow to ask more than likely there are other areas within you life where you’re lack luster.

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:25 am

2Can – Read my 1st paragraph – I said I’ve ended up suggesting we meet up, but I don’t like to do that. I’m old school and make no explanations or apologies for that. It works for me. It’s been my experience when we start out that way, me basically taking the man’s role, it’s downhill from there.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:25 am

@Celisea

LOL I see your point but also guys make false assumptions because when they meet a woman, some guys assume that she is at home baking oatmeal cookies and waiting on him to call…nope they are out doing their thing.

Guys can go out with a woman, etc…she eats up your food and goes home and calls up the next dude. Last week on the Steve Harvey dating segment, the guy saw the girl texting on the date and she admitted that she was trying to get plans clear for later that night….ridiculous…lol

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:25 am

Where you lack luster..not you’re….I’m having a brain freeze from the temp in this office

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:27 am

@Ladies

If its a guy you like, when if do you start to pay for dates?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:27 am

Don’t get me wrong though, I’ll “push along” once I see mutual interest but just walking up to folks asking them out or initiating a hookup…not my style. I’m only asking though because you’re dragging your feet. I would think if there’s a spark of mutual interest you, being the man, would naturally want to get it moving….by asking

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
10:28 am

@M…both your post where on post…even that list of 4…it may not apply now but it will and has applied before…

women like aggressive men…who knew…lol…i thought women wanted there voice and choice when it comes to relationships…lol

TenderRoni

December 20th, 2010
10:30 am

I think that list can go both ways.
If after IM, chatting, emailing, phones, and still I don’t get asked on a date…you fade in the black.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
10:32 am

Mdot – If its a guy you like, when if do you start to pay for dates?

I don’t start out like that…I’ve said it before you set the tone of how things will flow. I will do “nice things” but I’m not tracking and taking turns of who pays for whom…sorry

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
10:32 am

blue©

December 20th, 2010
10:33 am

@Rell – 1002: lol!.
@M. – im with Celisea, not all of us have a list of folks in the wings.

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
10:35 am

Gooood morning everybody,

If someone who, in their mind, is interested in me but don’t ask me out or make it known, I assume that maybe they aren’t interested in me in that way. Maybe they rather be my friend…

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:35 am

@Rell

I think the biggest hurdle that I see in the Atlanta dating scene is women who really arent single. With the ABC & CNN specials, they are a smoke screen that makes guys think all these women are sitting at home waiting…Nope These women are doing their thing and sometimes worse than guys.

I have never met so many women who act single but have boyfriends. I have been out with women, you think they are single, spend your time, money, energy, and resources, then see her facebook and she hugged with with some guy name Reggie lol

You take her out and she goes back home to her man like nothing ever happened….

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
10:36 am

TenderRoni, gal, who wouldn’t want to ask you out….”the truth about “Roni” she’s a sweet ‘ol girl, makes the toughest homeboys fall deep in love….” did Ralph Tresvant have you pegged?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:38 am

@blue©

I understand not everyone has folks in the wings but you arent locked in the closet either…;)

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
10:38 am

“If someone who, in their mind, is interested in me but don’t ask me out or make it known, I assume that maybe they aren’t interested in me in that way. Maybe they rather be my friend…”

what if they are, and you know they are, but is respectful of your current situation?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:40 am

All in All, guys just have to trust their judgement, dont make assumptions, and follow your instincts when interacting with women.

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
10:41 am

staggering back in and whining “I WANT TO GO HOME”. :-(

Just the same this made me laugh, beacuase it seems quite true…for me anyway.

“If the dude digs you, he’s one step from being a pain in the ass.”

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:42 am

@Celisea

I just want to know when would you pay for a date, after the first date, 10th date, never, lol?

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
10:43 am

RANDOM: (((singing))) It’s all about Romie an him big fat sister Nyomi.

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:44 am

If its a guy you like, when if do you start to pay for dates?

M dot – I’m like Celisea on this. I’m not tracking. I do nice things as we progress, to include treating on dates. While I’m old school, no guy I’ve ever dated can say I’ve just taken advantage. It’s called good hometraining.

I’ve never had a problem really with who pays for dates. Most men I’ve dealt with have finese about it. In turn, they’ve never had to worry.

You seem to harp on the woman paying for dates thing quite a bit. Or women that have a life going at the time you meet them. Are you really having that hard a time with the ladies you are meeting?

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
10:44 am

@m…we talked about that last week….reggie not taking them out..you are…lol

@slim

If someone who, in their mind, is interested in me but don’t ask me out or make it known, I assume that maybe they aren’t interested in me in that way. Maybe they rather be my friend…

^^^rolling my eyes^^^….and calling bison on that one…lol…

BlackMagicWoman

December 20th, 2010
10:46 am

Morning all….

I love a man who despite his obvious attraction to me…acts like a gentleman and refrains from making a physical move on me. If anything it turns me on more. It makes me more intrigued by him. If he continues to call/text/email me and makes the efforts to spend non-pyshical time with me, it makes me like him more. Eventually…it will lead me to make a move. Then it’s on and poppin’! Maybe I am a control freak. But I like to control the Freak in me. :lol: If a guy proceeds in this manner….then anything from the smell of his cologne will turn me on and make me think of him.

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
10:47 am

…have never met so many women who act single but have boyfriends. I have been out with women, you think they are single, spend your time, money, energy, and resources, then see her facebook and she hugged with with some guy name Reggie lol.

‘K I kind of awake now. :lol:

Does this mean ole boy just didn’t do his research? :lol: Plus single does = not married…technically. As a gyrl I make sure to ask about the presence of both a girlfriend and a babby momma, who often time is the fall-back piece but technically not his girlfriend. Semantics, one heck of a game. Gotta ask the right questions. ;)

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
10:49 am

Um..yeah…about the adding folk on FaceBook…I’m not adding someone that I *just* met to my FB page.

I have always preferred men who led. I will say that when I met TheDude, because of the circumstances, I gave him my number before he asked. However, from there, he took the wheel and I must say, I like the way he handles the ride.

As for a *timeframe*, it is really more about where two peoples lives intersect at any given point. Sometimes, waiting works. Sometimes, it doesn’t. However, it was usually my experience that if a date wasn’t forthcoming fairly quickly, my belief was that there was some rotation management or even just a whole pile of life going on and spending time with me wasn’t a priority….to which I learned to say “Thanks, but no thanks.”

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
10:49 am

‘what if they are, and you know they are, but is respectful of your current situation?’

Um, I would be glad that they care enough to be respectful of the current situation as I also would be. ;-)

TenderRoni

December 20th, 2010
10:49 am

@2..Sure did…lol guys used to sing that to me in high school.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
10:50 am

I have never met so many women who act single but have boyfriends.

Men do it,too and it’s such a waste of time. There’s a married guy here at my job that’s sweatin me and is MARRIED….GTFOH. WHY is that?!
I have had guys who are in relationships/married flirt with me and want to do things like go out/date but I’m like “Ain’t you with somebody”?,…then I get the I’m not happy at homesob story…like that’s supposed to work…swallow deep on theeze

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:51 am

@Rell

LOL thats true. Reggie probably used to take her out alot but not lately so she needs to still feel desired and get that ego boost so she will let a guy take her out so she can still feel like she is in demand in somebody’s eyes.

Meanwhile, Reggie got his other woman over lol…

@Kimmie

No hard time at all. I was just curious since the topic was on dating, if and when women pay for dates. Is it after the 1st, 10th date or never lol.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
10:52 am

It’s all about Romie an him big fat sister Nyomi.

The two of dem act like dem know meee

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:55 am

Reggie got his other woman over

M dot – Then it’s a good thing she’s dating others and not sitting at home crying over Reggie. Reggie hasn’t put a ring on it, so if he can go out with others, so can she.

But you can’t blame others for your failure to do due diligence.

Kimmy

December 20th, 2010
10:56 am

You can talk, text and email all day, but really you should be going out very soon after meeting. It helps to be able to really connect. If I meet you and we have a few phones, but no invitation out then I would place you in either “he’s just no that into you” or “fishing around” column and move on.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
10:58 am

@Sassy

LOL wow thats crazy.

My theory is women mess up because they always think a guy is lying and a men mess up because they think a woman wont lie!

I think it looks worse when the women do it because guys think every woman is going to be sweet and caring like their mom lol.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
10:59 am

Sassy – as you well know, those guys try that line because it’s worked before and will work again on some other *weak-minded, desperate for attention chick.*

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
10:59 am

Sassy – Me too with the married or otherwise occupied dudes and it gets old.

In fact, this is the case with alot of those that dragged their feet about asking me out – they were “otherwise occupied”! That’s another reason why I’m so turned off by guys that drag their feet – they are dragging them for a reason.

TenderRoni

December 20th, 2010
11:00 am

good post Sassy..like I said men do it too. Its games, people (men and women) act shady from jump street. Lately I’m all about action speak louder than words. Because people Word is NOT bond anymore, people just don’t care what they say to folks anymore.
If you show interest in me, I show interest in you, then we go from there

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
11:03 am

Lying looks bad on men and women. It doesn’t look worse for one gender over the other.

And everybody’s mama wasn’t sweet & caring. Everyone isn’t trying to date their mama or their daddy. Their parents were trifling and they are trying to break the cycle.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
11:05 am

@kimmie

True that. Also maybe shes not worth it and Reggie is remembering that one man’s wife was another man’s jumpoff. :)

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
11:06 am

If he continues to call/text/email me and makes the efforts to spend non-pyshical time with me, it makes me like him more. Eventually…it will lead me to make a move

^^^its the EVENTUALLY that trips us up….lol…you just holding back because you can..then i am suppose to be happy when you deliver the goods…lol…I would be peeved because we both know its just regular saltines…lol…its the other stuff about you that I will love…not just you giving me that freak…because you are going to give me your version of freak…my version maybe a little more than yours…lol

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
11:08 am

I think it looks worse when the women do it because guys think every woman is going to be sweet and caring like their mom lol.

Hmmm…wonder if that’s what the guys said about “mom” before dad won her over. Perception vs. reality and antiquated azz thinking.

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
11:09 am

M dot – Oh, okay.

Like I said, have some style & finese. It’s always more attractive than typical street fare.

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
11:12 am

Rell – you shouldn’t roll your eyes, they may get stuck like that one day lol But for seriously (lol) the question is in regards to taking to long to invite someone out… I still lubs you doh ;-)

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
11:13 am

BMW….hey Ms. Lady….I just found out who you were; How’s life?

Page1908

December 20th, 2010
11:17 am

Someone mentioned earlier that it depends on the situation when it comes to waiting or not waiting. It’s hard because as a woman you don’t want to be too aggressive, but at the same time, you don’t want to take a chance and go for it.

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
11:18 am

VERY RANDOM: (but I need to wake up)

hey! Gotta gotta pay back!! (The big payback)
Revenge!! I’m mad (the big payback)
Got to get back! Need some get back!! Pay Back! (the big payback)
There it tis!! Payback!!! Revenge!!!
I’m mad!!

Page1908

December 20th, 2010
11:18 am

BMW!! Girl, now you know you better call me. LOL *eyeroll*

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
11:19 am

Hey Page! What’s going on? Happy Holidays!!

Page1908

December 20th, 2010
11:20 am

Hello Kimmie!! I’m totally awesome, how are you! *hugs*

Delight23 ...Heading South for X-Mas

December 20th, 2010
11:21 am

I would be peeved because we both know its just regular saltines…lol

Sound like time for a new bakery; a little jaded are we :?: Could be Captain’s Wafers. U don’t know. :P

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
11:21 am

@kimmie

Yup I think that turns women off if a guy is to thirsty. I just try to maybe have a quick conversation, see what they are talking about and then set up a date.

My only problem is lately I have been meeting some really nice and attractive women with too many kids. Met a very attractive woman saturday at a holiday party and she has 2 kids. My kid limit is 0 lol

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
11:26 am

Page – Hugs back atcha!! I’m awesome as well!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
11:30 am

@Kimmie
@Sassy

What if yall go dutch?

Does it make a guy cheap if he goes dutch on the first few dates? My friend said he doesnt spend alot of money on a woman he just met?

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
11:37 am

M dot!!

U cracking me up buddy! :lol:

all ur posts are on fire!

Denise

December 20th, 2010
11:38 am

Thanks for the warm welcome!

I think it depends on how you meet. If you meet someone online, it can go two ways. You either want to meet them ASAP to see if you want to be bothered. (And to see if the pictures are the truth!!!) Or you want to wait a minute to get a feel for them to make sure they are “safe” even though you definitely want to meet them in a public place regardless. I’ve done both and both have worked out well. Met the jack@$$ soon and was able to run right off. Met the two nice ones after a little while and liked both of them. (The pictures were a little off…bellies weren’t on the pics but by the time we met I liked them as people! LOL!

If you meet someone face to face, you probably already have the feel for “he probably won’t chop me up into small pieces” so I think after fewer conversations (few = your comfort zone) an “outing” is a good thing to go on. An outing is different from a date in that you don’t spend a lot of time, you pay for your own drink/dinner/dessert/etc. so there is no expection, and you can decide from there if you want to spend some more quality time. A quick hug or handshake goodbye is about the only displays of affection.

The outing can be for either one. My first online meetings are definitely what I call outings. After that, it’s either on or off. No harm, no foul. Date or more outings may follow…or not. You haven’t invested much.

As for my new boo (tomorrow will be only 3 weeks since we met; that’s why I said he needs to slow down!!!), we went on an outing but we’ve been on some real dates since the first outing. Until last night he never came to my house (even though I don’t think he’ll chop me to bits) so it wasn’t the “he picks me up and drops me off” kind of date, but they were definitely not “oh, he’s just this dude that is going to pay for my dinner” type deals.

Simple Man!!!!

December 20th, 2010
11:39 am

“swallow deep on theeze…”

What up peeps??? I planned on just lurking today, But then Sassy drps this gem….LOL

Thats why you are alright with me!!! LOL

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
11:39 am

@MDot

Leading with your wallet goes both ways: DTM and worrying about DTM.

Take her (them) to stuff you wanna do, but think she/they might find interesting as well, that way you’re spending money on something you’d likely do anyway and she’s along for the ride.

This accomplishes not leading with the wallet and y’all are getting to know each other.

If it’s a movie you wanna see, bowling, golfing, a museum, a club, or a bar – do you and let her/them follow.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
11:42 am

@BMW…gotan project – paris, texas

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
11:45 am

M dot:

Dutch is for when I go out to lunch with my coworkers or hanging out with my girlfriends. Not for dates. I went on one dutch “date” and that was when I was a freshman in college.

With me it’s all or nothing. I will treat for the whole dinner or like if we go to the movies, he’ll get the tickets and I buy the popcorn. Either way, dividing up the bill at the table or counter is not a good look for a date.

As for your friend, it does not make a lot of sense to spend a lot of money on dates unless it’s a special occasion, even if you can afford to. It gives you nothing to look forward to and is not practical for average people. Plus I get to thinking he’s putting too much effort in trying to impress me with material things. You gotta bring more than that to impress me. I’m used to nice things, but that’s all they are, things. I also get to thinking you might not be responsible with your money.

BlackMagicWoman

December 20th, 2010
11:49 am

RELL…eventually does not mean I am withholding the goods. And I don’t have saltines! :lol: Its about getting to know this guy and trying to firgure out if he is looking for something such as a relationship. Or is he like so many other horn-dogs and looking for a quick lay because he likes how I look. If I feel comfortable with him, then yes…the physical aspects will come into play.
Oh and by the way…I have never had any complaints on “my: freak! :lol:

2C….really? You just figured out it was me….AKA Black Mamba? :lol:

PAGE…you know I loes you girl! :lol: I got your message! Sorry I missed all this year’s festivites sinve I am away. But I will see you guys for NYE/your B-day!

Denise…”The pictures were a little off…bellies weren’t on the pics but by the time we met I liked them as people!”
GIRL….I can’t stand a pregnant man! :sick: I hate it when they hide it and then when you see the dunlap (his belly done lapped over his pants) you are sooo turned off!

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
11:51 am

@bmw…cool, good point…i guess waiting with you or other sag women will pay off “eventually”…lol…guess thats why i flamed out with the ones i tried to date in the past…could not get past there slow response and Edward nigma ways…

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
11:51 am

@BMW

Glad to know that’s you!!!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 20th, 2010
11:55 am

Afternoon All!! Hope everyone is well!!

Hey Page1908! How goes it chica!!

M.(pronounced M dot) – “My only problem is lately I have been meeting some really nice and attractive women with too many kids. Met a very attractive woman saturday at a holiday party and she has 2 kids. My kid limit is 0 lol”. My sister feels the same way about men! Has said that she will meet a nice guy only to find out he has a kid(s).

blue©

December 20th, 2010
11:57 am

@BMW – when you see the dunlap (his belly done lapped over his pants) you are sooo turned off! – caught me off guard with that one, LMAO

Page1908

December 20th, 2010
11:59 am

Hey Mo!!!

@BMW- don’t forget to send me your itinerary!!

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
12:05 pm

@SC

I just read that “malaise” post at VSB – wow.

And the JS commenter – double wow.

Guy's Guy

December 20th, 2010
12:05 pm

Depends on what I want. If I want long term I may wait to show how interested I am until she shows that she is not a drama queen and has the qualities I am looking for.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
12:06 pm

I used to think that I wouldn’t date a dude with a belly. But it’s like someone posted on Friday…about dating to your priorities and not so much your preferences. TheDude’s Anthony Anderson-ish build doesn’t bother me one bit.

But I would still be a no-go on a Professor Klump type – borderline obese, stomach and ass and thighs and rolls of back fat and all that over the place…

BlackMagicWoman

December 20th, 2010
12:07 pm

RELL….we Sag women are very stubborn and set in our ways. So we try to control things to make them go our way! Our way or the highway! :lol: You know me man….I will put a guy in his place with the quickness! I had to do it the other day when I met this guy. He went on with the type of boorish behavior that I hate….the “I am the Alpha-Male” persona. Yeah he got shut down with the quickness! And of course I did it all with my sarcastic a$$ straight face! :shock:

Dan….yes…tis I!

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:09 pm

Doh. Afternoon all.

Good topic Diva. I am one who still “respects the process,” especially with all the lazy daters out there. I have too many instances where guys primary means of communication is text, email or Facebook when they already have the phone number, they just don’t use it.

That, my friends, is the fastest way to get cut off.

As someone who was “picked up” recently, it was nice to have a man stop, speak to you, suggest dinner, ask for my number and then actually call it the same day. Who knows what the future holds, but at least he comes across as genuine and respectful.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:10 pm

Well, hey Pagey poo! :lol:

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
12:10 pm

not fair….tall dudes can have bellies…but us short guys look like pygmies if we get a belly….

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:12 pm

Also, the phone conversations/ vetting process is mandatory. You can feed yourself, so don’t be so eager to go out with someone just because they’re offering. Your time and self respect should be valuable. Most of my friends who have the messiest drama going on right now are in it because they didn’t take time to know who they were dealing with.

BlackMagicWoman

December 20th, 2010
12:12 pm

MO…I am like your sister. I like men with NO kids. I have none….so I have the right to ask that my significant other doesn’t either. I look at is this way…if we get married, I do not need part of our income going to another household. Nor do I want to have to deal with another woman in our lives and there nothing I can say about it.
Then I think about the fact that I do NOT want kids of my own. So that lessens my dating pool. :lol:

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
12:13 pm

“Most of my friends who have the messiest drama going on right now are in it because they didn’t take time to know who they were dealing with.”

Hey Dan….there’s that “qualifying” thing again….

Page1908

December 20th, 2010
12:15 pm

Ohhhhhh well, hello ARed! LOL *googly eyes*

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
12:21 pm

wait untill u get over 40 Sexycool..then, just having a normal heartbeat,never mind the bellysize,will be just fine.

these priorities get a make over all the time as u age.

U can attest to that, won’t u?

K-Diddy

December 20th, 2010
12:21 pm

Greetings Family

It’s been a minute since I inserted my two cents, but I must comment on today’s topic. I think when a guy is dragging his feet about asking you out, it’s more than likely for one of the following reasons:

1. He’s already involved and trying to get his schedule freed up to go out.
2. He’s straight out of “low cash” and waiting for payday or for his refund check.
3. He’s not even interested and taking up time and space by calling you.
4. He’s nursing a broken heart and really just wants someone to talk to.
5. He has no intention of ever ‘taking” you out on a real date, and thinks if he keeps calling and texting that will be considered “quality time” and you’ll eventually invite him over.
6. He’s waiting for that nasty cold sore (or other outbreak) to go away.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:23 pm

I recently introduced two friends of mine. They hit it off. He has been dragging his feet with asking her out officially, because he does indeed have a girlfriend. :?

But there is a difference between dragging feet and taking time to get to know someone better.

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
12:25 pm

@2C

“Real recognizes real”

Be it an honest conversation, how someone carries themselves, “qualifying” in the way you’ve used it, is getting to rut (old folks “root”) over another person.

And that process doesn’t take long if you being honest with yourself and in your dealings with others. Leastways for me

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
12:26 pm

M dot

I don’t have a problem going dutch…

I like men with NO kids. I have none….so I have the right to ask that my significant other doesn’t either.

Me,too!! :mrgreen: BMW I swear you’re my sista from another mista cause we are soo >>>>here<<<< with that.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
12:28 pm

@Ared?

u wish for her to upgrade the boyfriend or it wad just an innocent introduction with no assist intentions on ur part?

does ur friend mind being in the mix,assuming u told her of his entanglement?

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:32 pm

melo – I introduced them as friends, but had a feeling they would hit it off. I asked him what he’d do if he did end up liking her romantically and he told me “let me worry about that.” :lol:

He never told her he was involved with someone. It’s been months and she’s been beating herself up over why he keeps in contact, but hasn’t made a move. So I told her what the deal was. *shrugs*

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
12:37 pm

“And that process doesn’t take long if you being honest with yourself and in your dealings with others. ” Cosign.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
12:40 pm

Ared?

second part…..so does she feel like going gangbusta and competing to grab him away or she won’t….especially seeing that he’s your friend……

I see drama for u tho even if she were to make her own mind..it don’t work out,it’s Ared’s fault somehow.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
12:42 pm

ARed – is this chick a *friend* or just a female that you happen to know, think is kinda cool and that you hang out with sometimes?

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 20th, 2010
12:47 pm

@Mo

I feel you on the kids thing. I hate when I am in Publix and I see a cute girl in the bread aisle and behind her is a cart with a kid in it….:(

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:50 pm

SCool – She’s a good friend and also my road dawg.

melo – I don’t roll with folks who bring me drama. So if she wants to trip, she’ll get cut. But she’s already thanked me for the info.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
12:53 pm

In that case, I’m kinda confused. And maybe I just don’t have all the facts. You introduced your good friend/road dawg to a dude with a girlfriend, but didn’t tell her for “months” that he has a girlfriend.

And as for why he keeps in contact, she lets him. He’s trying to put/has her on lay-away.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
12:54 pm

By the way, that first part was a question…didn’t punctuate properly.

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 20th, 2010
12:54 pm

Speaking of honesty (off topic):

I really slept on B.O.B.

So much so that I may have to buy his first album…..

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
12:56 pm

SC – What’s confusing? I didn’t introduce them to date. I introduced them to be friends. They did hit it off but they were attracted to each other. That I can’t control. Dude told me he’d handle telling her about his “situation” and two months later he hasn’t told her, so I did.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 20th, 2010
12:57 pm

SexyCool – Lol @ the Professor Klump type! But I so understand.

M. – when I didnt have kids I felt the same way and so I co-sign my sister’s sentiment.

BMW – and there it is then, as long as people know upfront I dont see the problem! Except for those folks that want to ‘change your mind’… GTFOH!!

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
12:57 pm

“….@Ladies

If its a guy you like, when if do you start to pay for dates?…”

When he is my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend then I don’t mind paying for dates.
If that type of relationship has not solidified- then going dutch is okay however…if dutch is the norm dude runs the risk of being in the friend-zone.
Just keeping it real….

gator24

December 20th, 2010
12:58 pm

I think we as a society base most dating on age and what looks good to us and whether we as humans are compatible with each other. Some women are attracted to older men with money, maybe its a quick way to an inheritance. A lot women think God is the answer because he will provide them with a good mate. However the divorce rate is high, I believe you have to think outside the box. With all the dating networks available on the Internet you have navigate or weed out the crazies, scam artist, playboys, playgirls to see who right for you.

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
1:00 pm

How long do you usually wait to set up a date after you meet someone?

If I meet a guy in person (friends house, out and about, whatever) then I don’t mind making plans soon to arrange a date.
It basically depends on how quickly the guy asks me out.

If I meet online then what Wise Diva listed above is usually the norm:
“…..the process is: swap phone numbers; hold a few conversations on the phone to weed out the crazies or married people; text and/or email; add each other on Facebook; schedule a date……”

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
1:03 pm

Okay. That makes it clearer. Thanks for the dialogue.

In that scenario, I would have told my roadie upfront what the deal was with his situation.

blue©

December 20th, 2010
1:03 pm

@SC@ARed – im a little confused too, maybe i missed it. i thought you were saying something about being agravated that he hadnt stepped it up with your friend? why would he if he has a gf? i musta missed something….

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
1:06 pm

Ared!

I feel coz at the end of day adults do what they wanna do.

At least ur guy friend has options.

Dudes like that! :lol:

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
1:06 pm

i thought you were saying something about being agravated that he hadnt stepped it up with your friend?

You definitely missed something. I never said such a thing.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
1:07 pm

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
1:08 pm

In that scenario, I would have told my roadie upfront what the deal was with his situation.

So you would have said “in case you like him, don’t cuz he has a girlfriend?” Why?

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
1:14 pm

I would want my friend to know all the facts so that she could have made a informed decision about the level of access that she allowed this person. Because I would have wanted to keep my friend from “beating herself up.”

I would find it hard to believe that she didn’t ask you *any*thing about him in an attempt to *qualify* (since that seems to be the word of the day) before investing any kind of time, effort or attention in/with him.

And I would want my friends to tell me that a new guy that I was interested in getting to know had a girlfriend (if they knew.) Because he apparently didn’t feel it was necessary to do so. And for me, it would tell me alot about that dude’s character/tendencies to find out after the fact.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
1:17 pm

SCool – You’re thinking waaaay too hard. Do you introduce all your friends to other people and provide their romantic history? No. If you were trying to hook them up, maybe. But I’m not trying to hook up people who are already involved. Please read that sentence again.

I’ve been introduced to folks out on the town and I don’t get a rundown of where they stand romantically. If I’m involved and the new person I just met asked me out I say “thanks, but I’m seeing someone.” Clearly that wasn’t done. It wasn’t my job to do it upfront. Especially since it wasn’t a “love connection” type of introduction.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
1:41 pm

Dan – I got quite a kick out of VSB today. Those dudes should be writing comedy.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
1:46 pm

In fact, this is the case with alot of those that dragged their feet about asking me out – they were “otherwise occupied”! That’s another reason why I’m so turned off by guys that drag their feet – they are dragging them for a reason.

Playing catch up…good one kimmie.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
1:48 pm

Mdot – I just want to know when would you pay for a date, after the first date, 10th date, never, lol?

Sorry, been in meetings and a team luncheon. I think Kimmie’s 10:44 answered. I don’t really “pay” for dates. As we progress and move along as I deem you being the stand up dude you are, I’m usually inclined to do something really nice which could be paying for a meal or treating to a day of “something”….something being anything (breakfast, spa, etc)

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
1:51 pm

You can feed yourself, so don’t be so eager to go out with someone just because they’re offering. Your time and self respect should be valuable.

Wanting to get the ball rolling doesn’t equate to jumping in too early or too quick. I think to meet and sleep together day one might make your stock plummet but to meet and start the interaction process could very well be the beginning of “taking your time” for knowing each other.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
1:53 pm

@lol @ the paying convo…..smh at the lunacy of it all.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
1:53 pm

Wanting to get the ball rolling doesn’t equate to jumping in too early or too quick.

I wasn’t saying that.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:08 pm

Chicks want the balls to start rolling……

:lol: who knew?

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:12 pm

:lol: @ melo. In a perfect world, we should all be eager to spend time with someone new or exciting. Doesn’t mean we should. Folks are crazy.

That woman from Real Housewives of Atlanta (Lisa) was married to her husband after knowing him 30 days. Nice to know it can happen that fast, but it’s probably not going to be a happy ending for most people who go that route. :lol:

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:16 pm

Lisa Hartwell u mean?

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:16 pm

A Red, does dude know you snitched told the chic on him?

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:23 pm

@melo – Yeah, her. Married in 30 days. They are still together and seem happy!

@2Can – I haven’t told him yet. I’m not afraid to either. Probably will next time I see him.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
2:28 pm

lol@snitched

dude was like great ared bought me fresh fish…and she not going to snitch and i will split this when i get the chance too…lol….dont be an enabler

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:29 pm

so lemme get this straight….you introduced them, as friends, an attraction spawned; dude didn’t volunteer the fact that he had a girl, so you took it upon yourself to do so…..correct so far?

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:30 pm

Lisa wouldn’t care Ared. Mr Hartwell meanwhile, proly has good intentions.

I hope his money and investments pan out and improve coz I don’t see her staying longterm if he goes bust,like many athlete do.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
2:30 pm

@2c…she had to say something….i mean her girl was feeling dude..so she knew the smut out was coming…lol

Denise

December 20th, 2010
2:33 pm

BlackMagicWoman— LOL at pregnant men! Yeah, when they are 7 months along and I’m not the mama, that is not a good look! LMAO

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:36 pm

so lemme get this straight….you introduced them, as friends, an attraction spawned; dude didn’t volunteer the fact that he had a girl, so you took it upon yourself to do so…..correct so far?

Yes, after two months of him not telling her. I told her.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:39 pm

“Yes”

that’s the gist of it right there! Dude prolly gon roll wit it, but ya girl-friend oughta cuss yo ass out! Like, “chic why didn’t you tell me this up front! You knew that niqqa had a lady, and you gon set me up!”

or…..you just hatin’….

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
2:39 pm

she had to say something….

Eventually…what I found interesting is that it’s been months and dude still hadn’t said anything about having a girlfriend…what up with that? See that’s how isht gets started…see it sounds like she wants to date him but I wonder what she’ll do now that she knows about his g/f. I’d be curious as to his reasons for not having told her at all at this point…not unless he’s just looking for some nu nu. :???: Again I say swallow deep on theeze

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:42 pm

2Can – I didn’t “set her up.” And I told her to ask him straight up what his situation was, since she had some many questions. She kept saying “well, we’re only talking so it’s not my place.” (WTF :? , turns out he kissed her and everything…of course it’s your place to vet the dudes that get your time). Anywho, she kept asking ME about what he was up to, who was this woman’s voice she heard in the background once, etc.

My friends KNOW me. I don’t deal with drama, or condone mess. I shot straight.

It be different if dude were doing right…then it would be “hating” but he wasn’t so do the crime, face the consequences. It doesn’t take 2 months to be honest.

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
2:42 pm

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:43 pm

Rell/2Can?!

to be fair to Ared,I think she would rather her guy friend smash and date her girlfriend than the other girl she don’t know….

as long as her girlfriend makes her own mind…ain’t that right Ared?

I hope u did not do the suggestive :roll: when u told ur girl dude had a girlfriend,ad if to discourage her.

now I would flag that play! :roll:

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
2:43 pm

double wooooow!!! :|

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:44 pm

as if to discourage het

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
2:44 pm

dude still hadn’t said anything about having a girlfriend

- because in his mind..he not doing nothing wrong..this is just a nu friend…someone that is prolly happy to hear from him..that is the stage to boost that ego that current girl is prolly not paying attention anymore or just got out bossy on him..so what does he do…go start something fresh without the messyness of a break-up..men hate to be the bad guy

I wonder what she’ll do now that she knows about his g/f.

NOTHING – its checkmate now….women love triangles…meaning someone she has to out-do..so i expect some hurt feelings but buddy will smooth it over…actually believe it or not..this omission that he has someone just got him one step closer to the “draws”..lol

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:44 pm

Ared,I think she would rather her guy friend smash and date her girlfriend than the other girl she don’t know….

I don’t care. Again, it was a casual introduction that he made messy by trying to play games with my friend. He had to know I wasn’t gonna let that roll incessently. Please.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:45 pm

“turns out he kissed her and everything…”

Nah….that’s all she told you!

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:46 pm

Eventually…what I found interesting is that it’s been months and dude still hadn’t said anything about having a girlfriend…what up with that?

That’s what I said too. And she told me that she told HIM upfront that she was transitioning from her own situtation…and he still didn’t level with her. Hmph.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:47 pm

now u have me laughing at ‘turns out he kissed her’

No! it’s ‘turns out she kissed him’ :lol:

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
2:47 pm

What is sad about the whole situation is that you have TWO chicks that are in situations where their instincts, experience and common sense should tell them to get the hell on down the road. Because, having been in that situation, both of those ladies have, more than likely, been getting the short end of the stick (or long end of the dizzle – just speaking of the possibility), and neither one of them are being given enough solid information to make a decision about whether or not to continue to participate.

Chick A: “I know we’ve been together for a while, but I’ve met someone else that I’ve been trying to get to know.”

Chick #2: “I really want to get to know you better, but I have to let you know that I have a girlfriend.”

And where most of us go wrong, is that we won’t take action based on the signs. No, we have to have concrete evidence of having been done wrong.

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:47 pm

2Can – It was in public. I was there at the function (wasn’t there for the kiss) but they didn’t leave together. They have not gone out together. He tells her he wants to see her, but then doesn’t make concrete plans. He’s stringing her along.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
2:50 pm

Well…based on the 246p…sounds like chick could have made the decision to complete her *transition* based on false intel.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:51 pm

“He tells her he wants to see her, but then doesn’t make concrete plans.”

well, that’s his dumb-ass fault! ’cause if he can get a kiss that quick, coochie ain’t too far off…hell, he ain’t gon be honest no way, so may as well keep the lie going till he smashes….

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
2:54 pm

He tells her he wants to see her, but then doesn’t make concrete plans. He’s stringing her along.

- NOPE thats string is the I just want to see if you going to make it easy for me…meaning he just trying to get the draws..a smash and grab…i mean the whole he kissed her….more like he kissed..seen the top of her head and he inspected the box with his speaking tool…lol….funny..but i love it…its typical for smash and grab situations here in the A….i

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:55 pm

2Can – Well of course it’s her fault for continuing to entertain someone who says they’re trying to see you but don’t make any concrete plans. But she was wondering why he was dragging his feet for so long and I think it was messing with her head a bit because they were getting along so well.

So yeah, I told her. Homey had plenty of opportunity.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
2:55 pm

@2c…it was a setup because O girl feelings are involved now…so she dont care..she is not going to leave him alone now just because he has a girlfriend…i mean she had a taste already…that “free” trial is a bench..lol

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
2:56 pm

Colchie ain’t too far off….

he may have gotten some already but Ared ain’t been privy to that part…..

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
2:57 pm

….women love triangles…

The phk if we do…not ALL of us anyway. And the main one to benefit from all this “out do-ing” is the one who started the sh!t to begin with…HIM. That’s a bunch of bullsh!t..plain and simple.

It shouldn’t have taken months for her to find out about his g/f albeit if she heard it from him or someone else…it still shouldn’t have taken months for her to find out…that’s foul.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
2:59 pm

I said it was HIS fault; his fault if he didn’t hunch! Hell, it was laid out on a platter for him….she was diggin him, but he was BS’in…

tell that fool, you know a dude who sellin “ism” starter kits for $49.99..you can charge him whatever you want, long as I get me! He sounds like he could use one…

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
2:59 pm

Thank you Sassy.

And yeah, when I find out a man is involved, whether girlfriend or wife, I am running the other way. It is NOT code for “try harder to win him over.” :? What kind of hoodrat broads are these dudes dealing with…. :arrow:

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
3:00 pm

@Rell?!

uall killing me,’seen the top of her head….inspected the box’

in plain lingo Rell, what do u mean?

:lol:

cba

December 20th, 2010
3:02 pm

“kissing and all + transitioning = ………..

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
3:02 pm

it still shouldn’t have taken months for

–lol@sassy….i feel you…maybe not for you lady…but i have experienced otherwise…lol…here is a question..based on her needs and wants from a relationship…with dude being all vague why she stick around?….i mean does the vague stuff line up with her life and relationship goals…i mean all the elusive answers..the funny times of day that he would contact her…hearing chicks in the background…running to a third party for answers….i mean does this behavior add to someone that is looking for a relationship….i mean he flakying on plans..etc…talk to me sassy…i mean does this sound like yea i am digging this..i want to keep this going…again she not going ANYWHERE..dude will continue to haunt her life…she is hooked now at the BOLDNESS of it all….if you ask me its classic….this plays out daily…thanks ared for sharing

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
3:04 pm

If a dude expressed interest in me at a time where i’m not dating someone else, he continuously makes plans but nothing in stone or always has an excuse, then automatically i’m thinking he has another chick…

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
3:04 pm

@melo

“top of her head” = you are looking down at the top of her head while she polish the brass…if you get it now

“inspected the box”…i have used “taco” in the past “yoni” it all adds up to what you like and seek daily..lol

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
3:06 pm

If they had not been introduced then none of this would exist…at least not with this girl. I say never help a dude be dirty.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
3:09 pm

Rell?!

u stoopid! when Ared said dude said he would handle it, I knew exactly what type of cat that was.

:lol: yeah chick has proly polished the brass!

now, she in with both feet!

AmazonRed™

December 20th, 2010
3:11 pm

Celisea –

Eh, they probably would have met. They’re both friends of mine and come out to the events and social hours I go to.

And really, women need to be comfortable asking the men they are trying to get to know better, “are you married or have a girlfriend.” Whereas men need to be more forthcoming with that info.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
3:17 pm

based on her needs and wants from a relationship…with dude being all vague why she stick around?….i mean does the vague stuff line up with her life and relationship goals…

First of all she’s also “transitioning” from her own situation which leads me to think she’s going through a break-up….and if so then she needs to deal with that before tryna start something new. No Rell, this guy’s behavior does not harken to “I want to be in a relationship with YOU”….but if they’ve kissed(if that’s all they’ve done) then that’s why dude should’ve said from the jump,”I got a girl”, and maybe this would’ve/could’ve been avoided. Whoomp/whoot/whoop there it is. He still should’ve said something but he’s on the hunt for nu nu so you know how that goes.

She needs to take off the rose colored glasses and bounce…not unless she only wants him for the stick…if she still deals with dude now that she KNOWS he has a g/f then she either really likes him(unfortunately) or maybe she has an ulterior motive.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
3:20 pm

And Sassy, even if she really likes him, she should like herself more and enough to not sign up for this program.

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
3:20 pm

@melo..when she first posted..i knew the outcome….i mean some things are like a toss sweep…the play has not changed in years….its the same play just different players…and whats funny there will be no drama and lest resistance..

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
3:23 pm

@sassy…good break down…but its typical…hell if it like red said..dude should have said from the party i have a women..she still would have been down..sounds like she was digging him anyway…so thats why honesty pays….you might hit the lottery….jack tripper may have been made up..but its possible…lol

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
3:23 pm

You’re right Sexy..but now I’m thinking about whatever it is that she’s transitioning from…maybe she’s needy right now. Either way she should look our for self and K.I.M. pronto.

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
3:28 pm

@Rell!

yeah, nothing very unusual bout that play. Adult men and women play it…and smart people too.

People act according to their desires at that point.

She knows now,even tho she didn’t at the beginning..what she gon do?

that’s her grown up choice and I would not condemn her ….he got no ring on the finger so other chick has no legitimate claim either..

duke it out!

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
3:31 pm

dude should have said from the party i have a women..she still would have been down..

Maybe…maybe not. We meet people all the time who we might be intensely attracted to only to later on find out they’re otherwise occupied…so now what? Do you think below the belt and make a move anyway or do what’s right and back off….REGARDLESS if said attached person is pursuing you,too. What would you do?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
3:34 pm

And really, women need to be comfortable asking the men they are trying to get to know better, “are you married or have a girlfriend.” Whereas men need to be more forthcoming with that info.

I agree with you here

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
3:40 pm

But at the same time, my good friends, my road dawgs are not going to let me step on the landmine that they know is there.

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
3:40 pm

“..she still would have been down..sounds like she was digging him anyway…so thats why honesty pays….you might hit the lottery…”

Rell — True. There are plenty of chicks out there who don’t seem to mind being 2nd string — I guess they think they’re competing for that starting spot? — so, no need for deception. Those girls are out there… :lol:

Reminds me of the quote from the movie Office Space where the main character & his trashy neighbor are talking about what they’d do if they had enough $$ that they never had to work. The neighbor says he’d get two chics to double-team him. The other guy says “not all chicks would be into you just because you have money” — and the neighbor says, “no, but the kind of chicks who would double-up on a dude like me would.” :lol:

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
3:43 pm

@swis…lol..thats one of my favorite movies of all time…lol…and so true….

AmazonRed

December 20th, 2010
3:50 pm

SCool – which is why I told her

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
3:52 pm

But at the same time, my good friends, my road dawgs are not going to let me step on the landmine that they know is there.

Worth repeating. I don’t have alot of female friends in my circle but the two that are have been there for 20+ years so I would be all kinds of wrong for not telling either one of them what’s up. I say that b/c I’d want the same in return.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
3:54 pm

It’s good that you finally told her ARed…question though, how many months passed before you did? Were you waiting for your friend to do the right thing and tell her, then went ahead and told her cause he was dragging his feet?

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
3:55 pm

I’m just reading all this and shaking my head. It’s the same old TIRED same old. That’s why I bounce if a dude is hemming and hawing and hesitating about asking me out. They are ALWAYS already in a “situation” with another chick. Never fails! You are just being strung along. Well I am not the one to be strung!

And what was that KISS all about, like they are in high school going behind the bleechers in the gym!LOL!! And you haven’t even taken me out!

Read the handwriting on the wall, ladies, unless you like this kind of mess!!!

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
3:57 pm

but do adult chics cut block for each other the same way high school kids do?

If ur friend wants a guy who is clearly married or has another girl,uall going to sweat a lot bout it? at 30 some years old?

are u even going to stop calling her your friend coz she is on a different dating regimen?

:???:

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
3:58 pm

The thing about a landmine is that it doesn’t blow up when you step on it, it blows up when you step off of it.

And o’girl stepped on the landmine two months ago…she just didn’t know it was there. Now, she does.

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
3:59 pm

Celisea: at your 3:34….”, women need to be comfortable asking the men they are trying to get to know better, “are you married or have a girlfriend.”

Actually, I believe that women should be more specific when asking this question.

Instead the question should be asked “Are there any women that you are involved with?”
Most of the time guys will say no (some guys not all) to the do you have a girlfriend/married question.

I’ve have received a more honest reponse from guys when I ask if there are any women they are involved with.
Most will say yes or I talk to people.

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
4:00 pm

And we all know what it means when a guy says he’s “talking to people”

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
4:02 pm

Melo” at your 3:57
I will tell my “friend” not to do it not to pursue…etc… but at the end of the day we are all grown so if she chooses to talk to a married dude, that’s her business.
Just don’t come crying to me because it didn’t work out or you got your feelings hurt because you already knew the situation going in.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:02 pm

she just didn’t know it was there. Now, she does.

And knowing if half the battle…G.I. JOEEEEE

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:02 pm

I AM – I was agreeing with ARed’s statement but yeah I believe in flipping the question a 100 different ways because for some men if you don’t pose it right, you won’t get the right question when really the intent for getting everything out in the open is present….just for those looking for loop holes to not do right will use it as a technicality and say, he you didn’t ask. You married, getting married, engaged, divorced, got a girl, have a rotation…all questions

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:03 pm

you won’t get the right answer…what’s wrong with me today?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:04 pm

It just would have been a red flag when he mentioned he’ll tell her…he knew then he wouldn’t. But really upon introduction I would have pulled her coat tail and said you know he’s got a girl right? Just in case I thought she might or even he, dig each other to the slightest.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:04 pm

he’d tell her…okay imma stop cause ya’ll know what I’m trying to say

Rell - the blue chewy

December 20th, 2010
4:05 pm

@kimmie…..yep..your right

Ahrian

December 20th, 2010
4:08 pm

I have yet to even find a guy that can hold a conversation, let alone get to the asking out part. LOL But on topic, depending how you meet I think would make a difference. I would think after a week or so of good conversations then if both are interested meet and see how it goes. Going to vary a bit depending on the person of course. And I have no problems asking a man out if I am interested in him. Men can be just as shy as us ladies can.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:09 pm

Where do you think the best place to watch the eclipse will be tonight?

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 20th, 2010
4:10 pm

“what’s wrong with me today?”

You stopped coming to therapy!!! Tol’ you, you wasn’t fixed yet!

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
4:11 pm

Celisea?!

We meet and we get introduced (me and ur friend) by u but unless ur friend says some to u to indicate I triggered her interest, why bother?

It’s a social or business function/setting why do u find it necessary to give a breakdown about my personal life?

this is Celisea

this is melo

that’s it!

somebody’s cobwebs get the better of them,that’s a different issue.

AmazonRed

December 20th, 2010
4:12 pm

Sassy – all they do is talk on the phone. Folks are acting like they are having an affair. He told me he would tell her. He didn’t. She told me he’d ask him what was up. She didn’t. They are grown. Not only that I’m not the matchmaker. I just intro’d two friends of mine. The moment I started spending too many questions they should be asking each other, it wasn’t my business. People do leave relationships u knowm

But no I wasn’t gonna just hang her out to dry. Whatever he was trying to do about his situation, he had time to handle. He didn’t so I let my girl know. Again all I’ve been privy to is a kiss and some phone calls.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:13 pm

But really upon introduction I would have pulled her coat tail and said you know he’s got a girl right?

That would’ve been a good look…things could’ve turned out differently or then again maybe not but my part would’ve been done.

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:13 pm

But really upon introduction I would have pulled her coat tail and said you know he’s got a girl right?

Celisea – Me too. If he seemed to be interested and even vaguely initiated something further with her in my presence, I’d have asked about ole girl right then and there, so my friend would know. LOL

Eh, so what’s going on with and ole girl? You’re still with her right? :lol: :lol:

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
4:13 pm

Probably in For Real’s bedroom…. :lol:

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:14 pm

You stopped coming to therapy!!! Tol’ you, you wasn’t fixed yet!

LOLOLOL….yeah, I might need another session. I’m off balance today

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:16 pm

And I have to say that o’girl is getting the program she signed up for. Because she just as easily could have asked ARed the question.

And again, whatever it was that was making her “beat herself up” should have told her then that this was not the dude for her.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:17 pm

ARed I get it…hopefully your friend will too and not get her feelings hurt. I think if dude was really on the up n up he would’ve told her when they met…he never had any intentions(pre-cookie at least)of telling her,hence his response to you when asked about it. Either way she needs to gone head and charge it…it is what it is.

kimmie

December 20th, 2010
4:18 pm

Men can be just as shy as us ladies can.

Ahrian – Shy need not apply here. This isn’t high school. Shy on a grown man is so not attractive. But that’s just me.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:20 pm

Luvbug – Eh, so what’s going on with and ole girl? You’re still with her right?

Exactly…I know the dudes in my circle that will “go there.” Given that I know them, I would have either not introduced and allowed it to happen between the two of them…if was gonna. Or given her a heads up simply because I “know him.” I’m not going to introduce someone I know that’s already boo’ed up to someone else…even if the intro is truly innocent because of all the possibilities. Ultimately the two of them are responsible in their actions so no it’s not ARed’s fault if they go there but I just wouldn’t have done it…but that’s just me though.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:20 pm

kimmie – cosign.

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:21 pm

Where do you think the best place to watch the eclipse will be tonight?

Preferrably somewhere where there aren’t any street lights(or not many) to obscure your view but from what I’ve read it shouldn’t be too hard to miss from any vantage point.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:21 pm

Melo – My 4:20 can be applied to what you asked in your 4:11…same answer

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:22 pm

Either way she needs to gone head and charge it…it is what it is.

She probably wont cause she hasn’t so far with all of the signs, but I agree.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:22 pm

Celisea – more cosigning. (lol)

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:23 pm

He told me he would tell her.

That was a red flag. When did he get her number that night? If he didn’t have any ill intents an introduction that night would have suffice but they took it further and knew they wanted to go beyond the surface. She’s gonna get just what she’s asking for…played like a second fiddle.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:23 pm

Sassy…as soon as I posted the question, I googled it to see what time it was going to happen….241a…not so sure I’m quite enthusiastic enough to stay up (or get up) to have to drive somewhere and watch it.

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:25 pm

Good One Slim….

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:27 pm

Why are the ladies putting all of the onus on the dude? I believe Ared’s friend knew exactly what she was doing/did and if she likes it why don’t yall love it?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:27 pm

I haven’t done any Christmas shopping :(

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:28 pm

“Where do you think the best place to watch the eclipse will be tonight?”

(Channeling For Real):

You ladies can view an eclipse anytime you want. Here, just lie down on the ground & look up while I… [ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP]

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:29 pm

I’m not going to catch up on the reading…this may have already been covered, but what are some common reasons why a guy will so quickly ask one woman out then wait to ask another?

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:30 pm

I’m with you Sexy….heyal at that time of night/morning I’m looong gone to la la land. It’s supposed to be pretty,though,I’m sure there are some enthusiasts who will take/post some nice pictures…I think I’ll wait on that instead. I needs my zzzz’s.

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:30 pm

“I haven’t done any Christmas shopping”

Celisea — Give the gift that doesn’t require a trip to the mall: lap dances.

;-) :lol:

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:31 pm

Oh my Lord…somebody gave me a box/bag of “Malibu Chocolates” for Christmas…I need intervention right about now….mmm mmm mmm

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:31 pm

Swiss: eclipse aka put her eye out

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:31 pm

I believe Ared’s friend knew exactly what she was doing/did and if she likes it why don’t yall love it?

I would if I felt she did know as you’ve suggested…wouldn’t if I didn’t.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:32 pm

Swiss – Celisea Give the gift that doesn’t require a trip to the mall: lap dances

LOLOLOL, I know right…you bout to make me wish…fa real

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:33 pm

“I need intervention right about now” – For Real now slapping the ish out of Celisea

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:33 pm

Because Dude is the one that initiated the chase while otherwise involved.

Red even said she asked *him* upfront what he would do if it turned out to be some romantic interest.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:34 pm

Luvbug – I would if I felt she did know as you’ve suggested…wouldn’t if I didn’t.

Agreed.

For Real – I think they said she’s just now finding out. Remember he promised to tell her but never got around to it.

AmazonRed

December 20th, 2010
4:35 pm

Uh of course she and I are still friends. Why wouldn’t we be? I did nothing more than look out for her. She’s upset she was too chicken to ask him straight up what his deal was. She didn’t feel it was her place. Don’t get that one but hey… She learned a good lesson I guess!

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
4:36 pm

Luvbug?

its either u compelling or u not…
In situation so u hesitant…

u just lame

u deem her expensive

u had second thoughts

u want to have another chance meeting,during the day this time before u can say exactly u wanna take her out! :lol:

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:36 pm

“I need intervention right about now” – For Real now slapping the ish out of Celisea

LOLOLOL…cut it out man

Sassy Me..4 days til MY birthday :-)

December 20th, 2010
4:37 pm

She learned a good lesson I guess!

Good for her :mrgreen:

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching…

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:38 pm

Melo – Expensive?

What would make you (a guy) think that?

…oh, and expensive in a way you (a guy) can’t afford, or just in general?

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:39 pm

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching…

love this

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:40 pm

Scool/Celisea/Luvbug: “She’s upset she was too chicken to ask him straight up what his deal was. She didn’t feel it was her place.” – See she knew exactly what she was doing even when ole boy approached.

For Real now slapping the ish out Celisea with his left hand while wondering if he should tell her he is ambidextrous.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:41 pm

Luvbug – he wants to see how the date goes with the chick that he asked out right away before he asks the *backup* chick out???

AmazonRed

December 20th, 2010
4:41 pm

Uh…of course my girl and I are still good. I was looking out for her and she knows that. She didn’t feel it was her place to ask and I guess she learned a lesson there.

I am whatever you say I am

December 20th, 2010
4:41 pm

random: can someone please explain to me all these issues Delta is having with their aircraft?
Seems like every other week there is an emergency landing.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:43 pm

Ummmmm, why am I the only still getting slapped if you can use both hands equally well???!!! You can’t slap other folks with the other hand?

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
4:43 pm

Think that?!

my perception of u….right or wrong.

we all develop perceptions about people based on our own ideosynchracies.

above my pay grade…I think so I shy away!

men don’t like financial castration..feeling of being sub her financially.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
4:43 pm

And…IF all they’ve done is kissed and talk on the phone, what does she have to beat herself up about?

This would say to me that while this this dude is attracted to me and enjoys my conversation, he obviously is not at a point where actually spending time with me is a priority.

AmazonRed

December 20th, 2010
4:44 pm

Yup. Integrity which is why I told. :-)

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
4:45 pm

This would say to me that while this this dude is attracted to me and enjoys my conversation, he obviously is not at a point where actually spending time with me is a priority.

….and the point of today’s post. What does it mean to you if someone is not bringing it? You can chat it up and enjoy my convo but no other real live interaction? I would wonder at that point what’s up? You got a girl? You don’t like girls? You have a rotation? You got a wife….something should have poked her to go further

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
4:45 pm

‘Good One Slim…’

For Real – you knows I try to look out fa ya ;-)

swiss – You never fail me….but I sort of pictured it that same way.

(Channeling For Real):

You ladies can view an eclipse anytime you want. Here, just lie down on the ground & look up while I… [ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP]

Chick – I’m looking but I don’t see anything.

For Real – Look in that hole in the top. You might wanna try closing one of your eyes and opening your mouth.

:lol:

Melo!!

December 20th, 2010
4:46 pm

The kiss is sending signals to the coochie!

that’s why Sexxycool :lol:

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:47 pm

SexyCool – LOLOL…assuming the guy has no chick (not involved or attached in anyway, sexually, emotionally, potentionally or otherwise)

I know you were joking but side not: I’m mad we gotta define single nowadays…and I know there is some dude some where laughing cause even that long description wasn’t comprehensive.

You know what…da hell with dating.

Steve Q, you sell cats now?

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:48 pm

“men don’t like financial castration..feeling of being sub her financially.”

F@#k that! I’ll take Sugar Mamas for $1000, Alex.

Shhhh…. Don’t listen to him, Oprah… He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You just keep making that money, boo… :lol:

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
4:49 pm

*side note*

…and *comfortable* (from earlier)

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:51 pm

Continue from slim…..

Chick: Like this?

For Real: Yeah that it. Now twist it back and forth gently to get it into focus.

Chick: Like this?

For Real: Oh yeah that’s it. Don’t stop!

Chick: OH LOOK IT’S HALEY’S COMET!

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:53 pm

:lol: @ For Real

On that note, have you seen the South Park episode with the “Shake Weight?” If not, you need to… :lol:

SlimNumeroUno

December 20th, 2010
4:54 pm

For Real——> :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:56 pm

For Real

December 20th, 2010
4:58 pm

Swiss: CLASSIC!!!!

i'm swiss™

December 20th, 2010
4:59 pm

“Here’s your cab fare. Now going to sleep mode.”

:lol: :lol:

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:03 pm

I know you were joking but side not: I’m mad we gotta define single nowadays…and I know there is some dude some where laughing cause even that long description wasn’t comprehensive.

You know what…da hell with dating.

Amen Amen

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:05 pm

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:06 pm

Rum flavored filled chocolates…okay let me stop. Ya’ll gonna think I’m a pig

TenderRoni

December 20th, 2010
5:07 pm

I with you Celisea…the heck with dating…it gets to be too much.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:08 pm

Hey Tender, I was agreeing with Luvbug but yeah it can be waaay to the left sometimes and not worth the effort.

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
5:10 pm

Yes, Melo. And the cookie is talking louder than common sense is whispering.

For Real

December 20th, 2010
5:12 pm

Tender/Celisea: Dating ain’t hard. What’s hard is dating but wanting something else. If you look at dating for what it is (fun) then it’s no problem.

blue©

December 20th, 2010
5:12 pm

Rum flavord filled chocolates….yes, thats what caught my attention lol….Celisea – share, lol

TenderRoni

December 20th, 2010
5:14 pm

Enter your comments here

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
5:17 pm

For Real – I know you didn’t address me, but I agree…it’s not hard. It’s made hard by folks who complicate it with lies or partial truths. A person should know if he is available and be able to openly communicate it without being cornered. I get one check and it aint for the FBI or CIA or DHS…all that extra work takes the fun out.

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:18 pm

For Real – You’re right..dating ain’t hard…you can do that all day and easily but it’s the other “stuff” that factors in that becomes a problem.

Blue – Mmmmmm delish

Luvbug

December 20th, 2010
5:18 pm

Celisea

December 20th, 2010
5:19 pm

Other “stuff” being lies, less than forthcoming, etc. If everybody would lay it on the line, up front and honest, that would shave off so much other stuff. I realize though that’s too much like right in asking

SexyCool

December 20th, 2010
5:38 pm

“I get one check and it aint for the FBI or CIA or DHS…all that extra work takes the fun out.”

Pricelessly hilarious.