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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Are you in the wrong relationship?

If you are having doubts about the person you are dating, does it mean you are in the wrong relationship? I ask because a couple of different people have told me that they want to end their relationship because of a few doubts they have.

One guy told me that he pursued a woman for months and thought he wanted to be exclusive with her. When the realized they had zero chemistry in the bedroom, suddenly she’s the wrong person for him.

Interestingly enough, a woman I know from yoga told me that she doubts her boyfriend is the one because he doesn’t show any affection whatsoever. She is the type that needs that from a relationship.

Do you think we have these ideas about what relationships should be about and bail out too fast when we don’t get it? Are you in the wrong relationship because they aren’t satisfying an important need?

How do you rank those needs in importance? What do you think you have to have in a relationship that would make you want to stick it out?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

261 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™

December 17th, 2010
2:00 pm

As much as I was loving being single – I love being married to him even more.

:D

AmazonRed™

December 17th, 2010
2:03 pm

Leggs – I wouldn’t say “lukewarm relationship” because we only know what she shares on here and I know this is a place for many people vent. Obviously there is more good than bad, or I’m sure she would have moved on by now. But I wonder if it’s really them taking things slow or more like being in a holding pattern…the appearance of movement but really just going in circles..

I ask these questions because of course I’ve been there and have the t-shirt. :lol:

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
2:04 pm

@m…they are married not dead….when i was married…..it was told to me that i seem more relaxed…i was not not out looking so my convo was different…my look was different. In my mind “those” women did not matter..so i was a challenge…you know trying to get my attention…I just laughed it off…but when married i did experience a different side to women i once thought was all made up…ITS NOT…so for a single guy..that means…get a life outside the bar….live your life….become interesting…you have to wonder why there is a market for characters like James Bond, SuperMan, Batman…hell even the Hulk….lol

SlimNumeroUno

December 17th, 2010
2:06 pm

Ared – No title :lol:

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
2:08 pm

There this fat man that wants to get with me, but I can’t get past his belly. It’s huge!

Willie Dynamite

December 17th, 2010
2:08 pm

Mdot – dayum bruh what you saying? Us Married dudes cant sit at the bar drinking a brew while watching the game. Why we gotta stay at home watching Lifetime. hahaha

I was just having that same conversation last night. I meet Women on the regular that would rather spend their time getting at me than rolling with yall single cats.

Luvbug

December 17th, 2010
2:09 pm

Batman – Yes

The Hulk – Absolutely not!!!

SlimNumeroUno

December 17th, 2010
2:10 pm

‘I wonder if it’s really them taking things slow or more like being in a holding pattern…the appearance of movement but really just going in circles..’

Things that make you go Hmmmm? I think I like the way you put that.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:11 pm

@Rell

I understand what you saying. I was using the bar as an example because it is a SOCIAL environment. So when you were married, were you at the bar on a friday night while your wife was at home?

AmazonRed™

December 17th, 2010
2:12 pm

:lol: It’s year end, you know folks try to get deep and reflective during this time. :lol:

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
2:14 pm

Sorry, that should read “there is a….

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:14 pm

@Willie Dynamite

LOL no thats cool do yallthing. But I was saying like I told Rell in an instance where its like friday night and they are out and the wives are at home thinking you working late lol.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 17th, 2010
2:19 pm

M. hit me up on my email; I got just what you need….

“ism” starter kit – $49.99, if you order now, you get a %10 discount for the holidays!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:21 pm

@Rell
@Willie

I know alot of married couples that go out TOGETHER. If yall want to be on the scene so bad lol, why dont yall bring the wives with you if you going to be at the bar etc. And dont make no excuses, like “she wants her me time, she dont like football, she going with her girls for girls night out to see that new Tyler Perry movie Bashing Brother Part 20 blah blah” lol. Just say Im going to this bar or club tonight and I want you to come with me.

Most married cats dont do that….They are sneaking around Atlanta like Batman, hiding, wearing disguises etc lol

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
2:22 pm

@M…couples need time apart…lol….single women want single men…they just dont want thirsty dudes that have not smelled any parrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtssssssssss of the ppppppppppppppppppppppppp in months…lol

@luvbug…you better hope you have the HULK with you if something goes down…lol

Bluzgirl (AKA Kelli)

December 17th, 2010
2:26 pm

“Also alot of people stay because they dont want to be alone and think this is the only option they have right now. So they would rather have somebody than nobody.”

I can say I have done this. I stayed with a man for 3 years that was absolutely wrong for me and would never give me what I wanted/needed. I was at a weird place in my life and didn’t want to be alone. I was very upset when we broke up and I realized I wasted 3 years of my life. But…I did grow from it and made sure I learned to not do that again. I learned about what I really want and need. I do not want to settle again. Last year, I was in a dysfunctional relationship…at first, everything was wonderful and I fell madly in love. After 3 months, he turned psychotic and treated me like dirt. He was bipolar, so I tried to stick with him while he tried to get proper treatment, but 2 months later, I bailed!

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m settling with my current boyfriend, but then I look at all the good times we have together and all the things he does give me that I want/need. He may have some quirks about him, and there are a few things that I don’t like, but I love him enough that I’m willing to deal with them and see if we can work out in the long run. It’s the first time I’ve really felt mutual true love…

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:28 pm

@Rell

“single women want single men…they just dont want thirsty dudes that have not smelled any”

Thats obvious but all I was saying was that if you married act married you should not still be trying to live the singlelife. You cant be both. Why do you think we have Bed Bath Beyond, Target, Home Depot, Outlet Malls, Havertys etc?

They are married couple retreats lol go and bond with your lady.

Nobody said you couldnt go anywhere and not be apart.

I just think if its saturday night and you out making it rain, hurricane, and tornado and you are married and your wife is at home looking crazy….you need to stop lol…simple & plain….

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
2:32 pm

I just think if its saturday night and you out making it rain, hurricane, and tornado and you are married and your wife is at home looking crazy….you need to stop lol…simple & plain….

-lol, talk to me once you get married…or get some on the regular…you will understand where this comes from…lol

Melo!!

December 17th, 2010
2:33 pm

Come on Leggs,jus give him a lil…

just show him the style of more resistance to u and less pene….whatever it is!

Rell?!

Yes sir,relaxed u were. These dingle cats eyes ate too jumpy girls notice! :lol:

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 17th, 2010
2:34 pm

And the Play-Hater award goes to:

M DOT! (kinfolk, though I’m just kidding, bwoi, you shole look like you hatin right now….)

Willie Dynamite

December 17th, 2010
2:36 pm

Mdot – hahaha you a funny dude. You focused on the wrong thing grasshopper. Order that kit from 2Can and stop doing play by play on other dudes. You looking to jump the slant route without the Safety over the top.
Most married dudes dont even go out for that. These chicks flocking to married dudes because they running from yall chasing em down.

stepping out for a few.

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
2:40 pm

@Melo ~ how can give anyone “some” I’m not physically attracted to? Would you?

Sassy Me..my neck..my back :-)

December 17th, 2010
2:41 pm

I can’t get past his belly. It’s huge!

I know right?! Leggs I have a classmate from highschool that looks like he’s about to birth an elephant….and whenever we have class functions he flirts with me but in the back of my mind I’m thinking,“You ain’t about to put that big azz belly on mee,playa”…NO WAY Just eeeewwwwwww

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:42 pm

@Rell

LOL I know what it means…you want space also. I GET THAT. But I was saying yall can mix it up.

@2CPTG

1. Nobody says “Player Hater” anymore so you can kick that 1992 Positive K I got a man lingo to the curb.

2. Being married is a good thing. You are supposed to do that. Enjoy that.

@Willie Dynamite

Nobodys really chasing over here. I stating the influx of married dudes still trying to be out in the streets. Next time you out after Midnight, look at the married cats still out lol.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 17th, 2010
2:46 pm

call it what you want…..you still sound bitter!

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
2:47 pm

@M…what you missing player…is why she is out entertaining you…taking your number, facebook, email, twitter,…etc…she is like i want to take my time…get to know someone…usually means your cool a nice guy but you not making my “hood” move…but i bet she has either someone she is still chasing.,…has steady D on demand….or worse MARRIED OR ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED…keep your eyes open PLAYER…

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:48 pm

@2CPTG

LOL nobody is bitter. You are married and connected for life thats a good thing.

I still have my freedom ;)

Melo!!

December 17th, 2010
2:49 pm

Leggs?

I know after u give him some u see him in a different way,new set of eyes…

besides, u go to church and pray so that physical stuff u focus on ain’t good…

U pray for a man and God gives u a man! :lol:

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
2:50 pm

@M. ~ that’s a bit harsh, the “freedom” part. You make it sound that once the rings are on the fingers, cement is instantly poured around his feet. You can have “freedom” and still be married, it’s just on a different level.

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
2:51 pm

@Melo ~ I disagree with EVERYTHING in your post. I’ve never prayed for God to send me a man!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:52 pm

@Rell

“but i bet she has either someone she is still chasing.,…has steady D on demand….or worse MARRIED OR ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED…keep your eyes open PLAYER…”

LOL Exactly. Did you see my post from earlier? Thats why I said you let the WOMAN CHOOSE YOU! I dont even take phone numbers. If she is interested she will call you. Simple and Plain….what do I look like blowing up a woman’s phone I just met? That’s going to make her think she has something I want rather than the other way around…;)

Melo!!

December 17th, 2010
2:53 pm

Oh nana, what’s ma name? Oh nana,what’s ma name….

Slim..do the singing….I’ll do the rap!

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
2:55 pm

@M…sidenote…i knew of TKN before the podcast….just so you know we coming from the same place…i am just saying..in reality you would think marriage is black n white but its not…there is shades of gray sometimes….just choose wisely…but trust er now and then she will want to be alone and so will you PERIOD(DOT)

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:55 pm

@Leggs

I see what you are saying but Rell thinks he can do any and everything I can do. I bet if he told his SO that he was going to Brazil in the morning she would be like what time does our flight leave?

Trevor0529

December 17th, 2010
2:57 pm

Checking in from lurkersville

@M.

Do you have an issue with ALL married men or just the married men still in their player stage? From the posts I’ve read, you have an issue with the married men still in their player stage. Also, if you let the woman choose you, and she is choosing the married dude. Is it the fault of the married dude being chosen or the woman who made the choice? Jus’ sayin’

:)

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 17th, 2010
2:57 pm

@Rell

Shades of gray sounds right. Im sure there is compromise!

Melo!!

December 17th, 2010
3:00 pm

Leggs?

if dude works out and reduced the belly,,,how does he rate getting them draws?

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
3:03 pm

@m….LOL…you actually believed that belly thing….he prolly creepy with a belly…now if he was more on 100 percent “nice guy” doing things for Leggs the size of the belly would shrink in her mind…lol….women are wired different…yeah nice bodies turn them on..but does it keep them…lol…

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
3:03 pm

@Melo ~ hush…I’d be 59 years old by the time he reduces that gut buster. He may have a hernia, I don’t know.

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
3:04 pm

@M. ~ I think Rell can, he’s not married.

Melo!!

December 17th, 2010
3:06 pm

Leggs?
How bout his fedex

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
3:09 pm

@Rell ~ you wrong there. He’s a very nice guy, 100% gentleman and has offered to do many things for me. I know me. I can visualize me sitting next to him on the couch looking at that big belly pretending I’m watching tv. Or I would consciously watch how he has to manuever and shake and shimmy to get out the car. He’s a nice man, I’m not attractive to him. Heck, my body isn’t what it use to, but I can’t compromise on big belly and lack of energy. I need/want/desire someone who isn’t so lackadaisical so to speak.

Mrs. JtJ

December 17th, 2010
3:10 pm

Hey Gang!!! It’s been a minute, got off early today after our Christmas Luncheon and I didn’t even have the desire to go shopping!!!!

Happy Birthday to all the fellow Sags out there!! If I remember correctly, Ared and Leggs were Sags—I know Legss enjoyed her b-day!!

On topic: We have to value more than just sex in a relationship. If a woman meets all of your needs/wants and falls short in 1 area—like sex–why not teach her and show her what you like and how to make it more pleasurable for you both? Then again, what about the sex was not on point? Is/was it not fixable? Unless, this was all that he was interested in….

Whether the relationship lacks in terms of sexual compatibility, emotional, physical needs—you have decide if these are important enough to end it or if you are willing to try to fix/correct it. Now, if you have discussed it and tried to fix it, with no positive results; then I could see letting it go.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 17th, 2010
3:10 pm

M., I’m not married!

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
3:10 pm

I’m not attracted to him…

SlimNumeroUno

December 17th, 2010
3:13 pm

Melo – I love that song but it’s getting too much play and sooner rather than later, I’ll be sick of it.

Rell - 4000 degreez

December 17th, 2010
3:13 pm

I would consciously watch how he has to manuever and shake and shimmy to get out the car.

-lol…@leggs you are funny!

AmazonRed™

December 17th, 2010
3:13 pm

Happy Birthday to all the fellow Sags out there!! If I remember correctly, Ared and Leggs were Sags—I know Legss enjoyed her b-day

Yeah JtJ! Happy Birthday to you too! SAG GIRLS ROCK!!!

BlackMagicWoman (Staceye) is a Sag too, as is Blackfoote I think! (is he still on here?)

AmazonRed™

December 17th, 2010
3:18 pm

I’d be 59 years old by the time he reduces that gut buster.

:lol:

And come on…you’re a slender lil thing..that’s probably part of the attraction to you (go figure) but walking next to him y’all would look like the number 10. :lol:

Leggs

December 17th, 2010
3:20 pm

Thank you JtJ ~ girl, you know I enjoyed myself. It was nice. Thank you and happy b-day to you too!!!

Happy B-day to all fellow Sags…I remember Blackfoote’s bday is tomorrow.