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Invited to the mancave? Don’t blow it

I felt a little bad for laughing at my girl Laura’s misadventure at her new man’s crib last weekend. Laura has a really bad habit of snooping. We have talked about it before and I even told her to call or text me if she got the urge to go digging around. Alas, my pseudo aversion therapy trick didn’t work.

She snooped and now she wants to ask him questions about something she spotted. It’s not worth mentioning, in my opinion (something about female clothing that isn’t hers) but she is determined to “confront” him on it.

When you are invited to a man’s home, you don’t want to go in like some CSI team. You probably have reached the stage with him where he believes (hopes?) you aren’t psycho. Don’t pick that time to show your crazy, ladies!

Have you ever gone over to someone’s house and engaged in a little snooping? Do you think it was a smart move or a bad one?

How would you feel if your date saw something that was supposed to be private?

What is an acceptable amount of snooping and what crosses the line?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

361 comments Add your comment

blue©

December 16th, 2010
9:26 am

did i make it? First!!!
wait, that means i gotta turn up the heat…setting space heaters now….

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
9:35 am

G’morning….

you were invited to the guy’s home; which makes you a guest! There is no acceptable form of snooping if you’re a guest! Also, EVERYTHING in my home is MINE! Having said that, then the onus is on me to put away those things that I don’t want you to see….’bout like a traffic stop, yeah, you may get stopped for a minor infraction, but if the officer sees something in “plain view,” then he has every right to initiate a further search, as his findings were “incident to arrest.” Not saying a guest has further right to snoop, but he/she can be suspicious based on stuff he/she sees in plain view!

blue©

December 16th, 2010
9:44 am

@2C – exaclty. what happened to those manners you were taught as a kid, it aint you’re place, you’re a guest, you have no rights about anything really. now if he tells you make yourself comfortable and the couch is covered in ladies underwear, yeah i could see some questions. but if he says make yourself comfortable, and later finds you in his attack going thru all his boxes, you deserve what you get..

SlimNumeroUno

December 16th, 2010
9:49 am

Good morning all,

Looks like I missed a decent blog day yesterday.

g lynn grant

December 16th, 2010
9:54 am

Girl, you’re a writer (?) and you don’t even know the English language? Try “Have you ever gone over to someone’s house and DONE [not "DID"] a little snooping?” You are totally confused: It’s “Don’t pick that time to show YOU’RE [contraction of "YOU" and "ARE", not the possessive "YOUR"] crazy, ladies!”, and it’s “How would you feel if YOUR [not the contraction of "YOU" and "ARE"] date saw something that was supposed to be private?”

You may be a Dive, but you sure as hell ain’t “Wise”.

Dan - Simply...Superior

December 16th, 2010
9:54 am

If you get invited into my home, I trust you enought to know where I live and be around my stuff unsupervised – don’t break that trust by being/going places you don’t belong.

Until you have a key, everything in there is mines; same as your spot (hell, I still ask permission for some stuff in my girl’s crib). It’s not only manners, but respect and home training that you don’t go looking through other folks stuff.

If you do, and you find something,well,then….that’s.on.you.shawty.

Hey

Sweet Pea

December 16th, 2010
10:00 am

Good Morning Blue, 2C, and everyone else who checks in!!!

Have you ever gone over to someone’s house and did a little snooping? No, I haven’t.

Do you think it was a smart move or a bad one? Not a good look on your behalf if you do as one would believe you are not to be trusted when left alone. Don’t invade another person’s privacy if you don’t want the same in return!

How would you feel if your date saw something that was supposed to be private? Hmmmmmm Guilty as charged without a plea!

What is an acceptable amount of snooping and what crosses the line? Can I just say that at some point in life, there is no need to do a lot of snooping as the truth will eventually be revealed if there is something you need to know. When you become a volunteer member of CSI without probable cause then you might have crossed the line!

CoolShadow

December 16th, 2010
10:04 am

How would you feel if you’re date saw something that was supposed to be private?

That’s a death blow to any further progression since if it was private that meant it was hidden from plain sight and some snooping was done for unsanctioned discovery purposes. Who keeps private stuff lying around when you know you’re expecting guests?

What is an acceptable amount of snooping and what crosses the line?

If private information is left out in open view for you to see/read, then it’s fair game. If you have to open a drawer or dig through papers then that’s snooping. But if that person leaves private info in a very conspicuous place, you have to wonder if the person is very sloppy or setting you up to test your propensity to snoop.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 16th, 2010
10:05 am

Good day….

Ive always heard that most women are nosy and cant control it. I think it may be a maternal instinct. I am not big on women snooping because it makes everyone uncomfortable. If you want to know something, just ask me.

I know some of the ladies wants to know if guys snoop and I think they do but I try not to. Everyones privacy is their own…But my buddy did give me a good tip…if there is a woman you like, run a black light over her place if you get a chance…you never know what you might see!

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:05 am

g lynn, you’re lucky my initial post to you was deleted….you haven’t earned the right to come in here and complain!

free2be

December 16th, 2010
10:07 am

i had this experience before. had a funny feeling that a guy i’d met wasn’t who he said he was. i saw some of his mail (which was out and visible) and sure enough there was a DIFFERENT name on there than the one he told me. the magazines and everything in the house all had the same name as the mail. looked him up on facebook…same thing…same name as the stuff at his house. of course that was the first and last visit to his place…lol. i know he doesn’t work for the FBI or anything and has no need for an alias. ppl who do that kind of stuff don’t have good intentions. didn’t want to wind up on your local news as a victim, so that was that!

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:08 am

Good morning. I is sleepy this morning. Cooking until 1:45 a.m. for our luncheon today.

Topic: I don’t snoop! I see no need in it. What needs to come to light will come to light without my investigative prowess. If I’m invited over to his house and he leaves me alone for whatever reason, I will sit there and watch tv or listen to the music. I may go the refrigerator for something to drink, but that’s about it. Where he left me is where he will find me!

Erotic Lounge Series

December 16th, 2010
10:08 am

You may be a Dive, but you sure as hell ain’t “Wise”.

- your an idiot!

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:08 am

“But my buddy did give me a good tip…if there is a woman you like, run a black light over her place if you get a chance…you never know what you might see!”

M. really? bruh, that’s a “ho” move….

blue©

December 16th, 2010
10:13 am

@Sweet Pea – morning! volunteer member of CSI, lolol
@M. – run a black light over her place if you get a chance… 8O , who just happens to have a blacklight lieing around, whole ideas just skeevy…ewww…
@free2be – tell my friends thats the way to end up in a ditch somewhere with one shoe and no phone. ad if you had hints that dude was off, im not coming to pick you up, lol

@Leggs!!!!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 16th, 2010
10:13 am

@2CPTG

Thats just what he said. He said it was samples all over the place….go figure..

Do you snoop or have you been snooped?

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:13 am

@2C ~ thank you for your comment to g lynn!

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:18 am

Thank you too Erotic Lounge Series! Loving your name!

Hey crazy, simply touched, Ms. blue!

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 16th, 2010
10:18 am

@Ladies

I always wonder, how do you play it off if you get caught in the actual act of snooping?

What can you say? I was looking for a toothbrush…in my sock drawer?

Once she gets caught, you definatley qualify for a 1 week suspension!

Erotic Lounge Series

December 16th, 2010
10:19 am

if a chick has to snoop and i find out..she is cut…..me i dont snoop…fa what..its lame

sidenote…is our facebook login messed up this morning?

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:22 am

@Dan ~ boy, I going to hit you with a brick. Had me cracking up with you not going through other people’s stuff! :lol: :lol:

Sweet Pea

December 16th, 2010
10:22 am

@2C~Yes I cosign to your comment to g lynn…the perfect complainer

Like the policy…DON’T ASK DON’T TELL>>>>DON’T SNOOP JUST ASK<<<<

free2be

December 16th, 2010
10:23 am

@blue…LOL!! you are exactly right! that is how ppl wind up in a ditch. truthfully, i should not have gone over there anyway since i had an off feeling before the visit. i am grateful that i was able to see what i needed to see w/o being hurt. divine protection is real.:)

Simple Man!!!!

December 16th, 2010
10:27 am

Morning Peeps!!! Glad those that are here made it safely…Hope that those that are not, do…….

On Topic… seems like all of the guys are on the same page…Whatever is in my house is none of your effin’ business…You find something you don’t like like or that puts you off…Remember, the same door that let you in will let you out…..

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:28 am

naw, M. I don’t snoop…nor, do I hide stuff in my house….

Erotic Lounge Series

December 16th, 2010
10:33 am

@Leggs..thanks

If i have to hide things in my own house…then i am doing wrong….i mean that is lunacy…smh

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:36 am

another thing….if we’ve talked, and vibed enough til I feel comfortable enough to invite you over, then we’ve already established some things….you already know how I get down! If I’m a pervert, masochist, etc, you already know this…so when you come over, ain’t no need to snoop…cause trust me, I have quite a few “conversation starters” lying around…

Celisea

December 16th, 2010
10:39 am

I see a 2way here. If you have to snoop you ain’t right. And certainly if you’re hiding you ain’t either. There’s something about being on the up and up. No looking over your shoulder nor having somebody doing a background check cause things don’t add up. No having to recall what you said or remember whose number is which….so forth and so on

blue©

December 16th, 2010
10:41 am

@Leggs – Hey crazy, simply touched, Ms. blue! why are you calling people names this morning? that aint right, im perfectly normal….
@free2be – you had an off feeling from the getgo (blue now smacking free in the back of the head)….but seriously, glad you lived to tell the tale lol
@Simple Man – Whatever is in my house is none of your effin’ business – now remember that goes both ways, dont start giving the evil eye to photos on my wall interogating me about whos who and all, lol.. oh, and mail call…

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 16th, 2010
10:42 am

@2CPTG

Ok cool. I caught my ex snooping and it was so red handed that she had to laugh it off.

One issue I have had are girls leaving stuff over. You gotta watch out for them leaving bobbi pins, earring backs, earrings, loose hairs, lace fronts, makeup bags, etc lol ;)

Always remeber to break out the lint roller for the loose hair.

Isaac Malzotov

December 16th, 2010
10:44 am

I don’t have a problem with a female snooping around my place. You don’t feel I’m being completely honest with you (because most men aren’t), so you wait for the opportunity to do a little investigating to see if your 1st time at my place will be your last. I personally don’t care if a woman snoops around because she’s not going to find anything. What I will have a problem with is if she doesn’t ask questions that pertain to what she’s looking for BEFORE she goes snooping around. A lot of females are afraid to ask a guy important general questions. I understand you don’t want to scare a guy off. but, if he’s afraid of answering questions that wouldn’t be a problem for you to answer, why would it be a problem for him? ASK AWAY, ladies. If it doesn’t involve SS#’s, finances, or thing of that nature, I don’t see what’s the big deal. If he avoids answering questions about being tested, relationships with children/family, etc., you shouldn’t be at his place to begin with…

And ladies, you also have to be aware of guys like me who set up their medicine cabinet (that I use to store cologne) to where, if you open it, a tray of dimes and sewing pins falls out…

What, you think I’m going to just let you snoop around and not get SOME entertainment out of it?!?

Kym

December 16th, 2010
10:47 am

Good Morning All,

I know humans are naturally curious..but seriously if you want respect shouldn’t you show the person the same respect. I don’t poke around my family members house and I wouldn’t want them poking around mine. Sorry but opening drawers going thru folks stuff is a quick way for me to cut you off completely. Its just bad manners. I understand asking about something you see “in plain sight” ask if you want but you may not like the answer..but digging around in closets and drawers just cause you think you can..yeah..that is not the jam.

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:47 am

M., as I said earlier, what’s in my house, is mine! so, if you leave something, then you’ve forfeited that right of ownership! i.e. it’s going in the garbage! I ain’t got time to be trying to put stuff away waiting on you to come back later and pick it up…if it was that serious, methinks you wouldn’t have left it in the first place.

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:48 am

@blue ~ said with love, mami, said with love!

g lynn grant

December 16th, 2010
10:48 am

Thanks to those who responded – I guess you can see yourselves in my message.

Remember – ignorance is contagious!

Enjoy that minimum-wage job.

M. (pronouced M dot)

December 16th, 2010
10:49 am

@Blog Men & Women

So speaking of snooping, would you be comfortable switching cell phones with your SO? Not talking about handling work or anything but just straight personal phone swap?

@Issac

LOL

blue©

December 16th, 2010
10:49 am

@Isaac – And ladies, you also have to be aware of guys like me who set up their medicine cabinet (that I use to store cologne) to where, if you open it, a tray of dimes and sewing pins falls out…

What, you think I’m going to just let you snoop around and not get SOME entertainment out of it?!?

ROFL, i was thinking marbles, but thats good too….ROFL…

Sweet Pea

December 16th, 2010
10:52 am

@M~ You gotta watch out for them leaving bobbi pins, earring backs, earrings, loose hairs, lace fronts

Do ya have a mechanical bull in your home???? Lace Fronts…must have been a rough ride!!! I kid :)

Humor is good for the soul!

free2be

December 16th, 2010
10:52 am

@blue…lol. thanks! i learned my lesson…trust me!

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:52 am

@2C ~ use both barrels this time! :lol: :lol: :lol:

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:54 am

“@2C ~ use both barrels this time!”

she asking for it, ain’t she????

Kym

December 16th, 2010
10:54 am

Wait someone left their wig at a dude’s house? LMAO!!!

blue©

December 16th, 2010
10:54 am

random – i burnd my finger this weekend, and now my fingerprint has been replaced with some wierd glassy alien skin — freaky….

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:56 am

Snooping in medicine cabinets is the worse because 7 out 10 it’s rigged!

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:57 am

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:58 am

7 out of 10 ARE…..

2CPTG©--"that dude from da innanet"

December 16th, 2010
10:58 am

blue, did you know that’s a common move some thieves make; put super glue, or some other “altering” substance on their fingertips to mask their prints…..

Leggs

December 16th, 2010
10:58 am

Nevamind! I is sleepy…

Sweet Pea

December 16th, 2010
10:59 am

@glynn~I think we all are intelligent people in here…because Ignorance is not knowing and we certainly do know the difference of what you are speaking of, however I think YOU are in need of a hug since you found the need to be off topic and critical of another!

Enjoy that minimum-wage job….hmmmm not sure what the amount is because I haven’t earned minimum wage in over 25 years not to knock anyone who earns it as long as you’re working is all that matters.

However, my earnings are a lot more than that!

You are the weakest link…GOODBYE!

blue©

December 16th, 2010
11:03 am

@2C – yeah, ive heard that. gotta hurt peeling that mess off later…. wait, i do get my fingerprint back right? i mean, cant go for a government job with only 9 fingerprints when i have all 10 fingers, thats just gonna look weird….