Has masculinity changed?
I grew up around men who built stuff, hunted, and were skilled at fixing cars. I think many of the men in my family still play traditional roles but I’m not sure how the next generation has embraced them.
A lot of people are used to traditional gender roles but I always wonder how much has changed, especially when it comes to the male roles. We are in a different time, so a lot things are different today. Do you think the definition of masculinity has changed?
Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog
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433 comments Add your comment
YesSheIsCute
December 9th, 2010
9:21 am
FIRST
YesSheIsCute
December 9th, 2010
9:23 am
Good morning everyone!
actually i’m writing a paper on this….look forward to the responses 
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:27 am
Ok, i have no clue what i said in my post for it to not come through………….
blue©
December 9th, 2010
9:27 am
Morning Peoples,
Morning YSIC!
has masculinity changed? i would say, yes, just like everything else.
Amia
December 9th, 2010
9:28 am
It seems as though masculinity has changed, but perhaps femininity has changed also. I love for a man to know how to fix things and get things done. So many women have had to learn these things and do them for themselves. It’s not that we WANT to–we HAVE to. So that’s changed the female role also.
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
9:28 am
G’morning…..
yeah, the definition has changed….’cause you got all these mama’s boys runnin’ around trying to figure out how to be a man! They’re doing it by trial and error – some way off base, and others making an attempt – all without proper guidance and instruction.
It pains me to see a grown man who can’t do simple stuff….like change his own oil, drive a standard shift car, or do routine maintenance around the house….sad state of affairs for this new breed of man…
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:28 am
Wise Diva
Can you release my comment please, I didn’t say ANYTHING out of the way
Rell - 23 months to retirement
December 9th, 2010
9:30 am
It’s not that we WANT to–we HAVE to.
- no some women are just impatient…they cant wait for some reason
Dan - simply...Superior
December 9th, 2010
9:32 am
What it is to be a man hasn’t changed, but what he’s needed to do has.
Gone are the days of hunting to feed your family, building huts, and fighting off intruders to the village.
They have been replaced with trying to feed your family with a job that wants more of your time, trying to hold on to a home that is undervalued, and fighting off the negative influences that would affect your family.
WD – I take your point about hunting, fishing, and fixing cars; but in the era of 12 hour (with only 8 paid) workdays, who really has time to do that?
Shoot, by the weekend, I have just enough energy to drive to my mechanic and pass out while they work on the car.
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:33 am
Rell,
you are right, sometimes some women are impatient, however, there are also cases where you just gotta do it yourself. I mean i’m a single mom, homeowner and while the dude i date now is good about taking care of things, before him, unless i wanted to pay someone, I’d have stuff I’d just have to do myself. Cutting grass, keeping car maintenance up…..
Delight23 Keep Ya Sniffles To Yo Self
December 9th, 2010
9:37 am
Bom dia peoples. Dipping in and out today.
“…no some women are just impatient…they cant wait for some reason.”
Expound please Rell.
I actually have fun with my Ryobi drill. We became friends when I bought my home. My uncles taught me to change a tire (but got AAA for that), check my oil (I can’t do it myself on a DOHC), etc. What does patience have to do with self-sufficiency
Amia
December 9th, 2010
9:37 am
Rell – I agree being patient may be an issue at times. You can’t sit around waiting though. That’s why I agree with Princess. Before she got with this new guy she had to do it herself. She didn’t want to I’m sure.
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
9:37 am
I had to learn this while pledging my frat….
“excuses are tools of the incompetent, they build monuments of nothingness, and bridges to nowhere; those that specialize in them, seldom accomplish anything; therefore, I have no excuses.”
Dan, that’s a cop-out, bruh….the more responsibility we have, the more we have to ante up!
Delight23 Keep Ya Sniffles To Yo Self
December 9th, 2010
9:37 am
PrincessNik
Beat me to it.
Rell - 23 months to retirement
December 9th, 2010
9:40 am
I mean i’m a single mom <—THIS right here is what causes the panic…but thats for another blog.
if your an adult and a homeowner..there are things you will have to do with a man or without…why do women think…ok i got a house..now i have to find a man to take care of something i pay for?…but then turn around and dog a man that has experienced some financial hardship and dog him for that?
Dan - simply...Superior
December 9th, 2010
9:42 am
@2C
What is you talking about?
Where do you see a cop out? Expound.
Fion
December 9th, 2010
9:43 am
No, Masculinity has not changed. The problem is that you have both men and women who have not seen what a real man is.
Due to that, their definition of masculinity and the actual portrayal of it is limited because they have not seen it in action. You can not relate too nor understand beyond your experiences.
That’s like asking someone to explain Picasso’s composition when they
don’t understand what Art is.
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:43 am
Before she got with this new guy she had to do it herself. She didn’t want to I’m sure.
Amia, you darn right!, there are plenty of things i gladly step back from right now.
blue©
December 9th, 2010
9:43 am
imo, the male role has changed more often then not. i agree with more women doing those traditionaly male things, less men do them. and imo, we’ve become a society where there’s always someone you can pay to do it. theres AAA and Jiffy Lube to change yuor tires and your oil, theres lawn services and handymen to cut the grass and clear your gutters. do you know how to do it yourself? no, cause i can pay someone to do it.
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
9:43 am
“who really has time to do that?
Shoot, by the weekend, I have just enough energy to drive to my mechanic and pass out while they work on the car.”
that!
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:47 am
if your an adult and a homeowner..there are things you will have to do with a man or without…why do women think…ok i got a house..now i have to find a man to take care of something i pay for?…
skeeeeeeeeeeeert!!, pump your brakes Rell, there was no panic on my part to find a man to take care of something i pay for. ( My daddy raised all 5 of his girls to be able to handle life in general with or without a man being around.) My point was that there were things that still had to be done, and I had no plans of waiting on a man to come along for them to get done. At the same time, I have no issue with falling back when that man does come along and steps up and says baby let me handle that for you. However, TRUST it was getting done before he came along, and it will get done should he decide to leave.
D@N!3L
December 9th, 2010
9:50 am
i think it’s important to know the basics. it always important to know how to do the things that are needed to survive in todays world. but that goes for women too. equal rights… right. don’t be the one to point the finger and call someone wrong when you may not have taken the time to learn those things yourself. does that mean a women is not feminine if she preferred to heat up a dinner instead of cooking from scratch. how many married men out there eat fresh home cooked meals everyday. i sure don’t. in fact one of the things i’m expected to do in between the job and getting my oil changed is picking up something for dinner. explain that. where did femininity go.
Purple Rain
December 9th, 2010
9:50 am
No, it has not changed with any of the men in my family from the young to the old.
Dan - simply...Superior
December 9th, 2010
9:50 am
Still don’t understand how allowing a professional to do his job makes me less of a man.
Expigate further please.
Delight23 With Da Lysol Trigger Finger
December 9th, 2010
9:50 am
“do you know how to do it yourself? no, cause i can pay someone to do it.”
blue©: I’ll admit that I’m rather sexist when it come to this point of view. I’m still fairly traditional in the sense that I’ll accept this from a woman.
But I frown upon and I’m turned off by men who use this cop-out. Oil changes I understand but the ability to change a tire, hang a picture, put together a desk or ent sys, check/clean the gutters and operate a grill (charcoal or gas) are things I expect my MAN to be able to do. Nothing dries up the well faster than a girlie-man. Well, that and manties, but that’s another day.
Delight23 With Da Lysol Trigger Finger
December 9th, 2010
9:52 am
if your an adult and a homeowner..there are things you will have to do with a man or without
Rell, I take it this is NOT your response to my direct request to you to expound on your statment
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
9:57 am
Oh and Rell I’m sure that posted wasn’t directed just to me but i can only speak for myself
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
9:58 am
NEVER said you were less of a man….never that….
your post makes it appear as though you’re complaining about your role; and I’m saying that’s what we’re built for….”traditional”, to me, means doing whatever takes to still stand! tired, be damned….we have responsibilities….
abc
December 9th, 2010
9:59 am
I can’t say I’ve ever associated hunting with masculinity. I used to work on my own cars, especially when I had antique autos, but these days there’s not a lot one can do to them — or maybe the ones I have just never need work done that I can do anymore. Building stuff? Dunno, I’ve never been into construction, woodwork, carpentry, stuff like that, but I don’t really associate that with masculinity, either. If something needs fixing, like plumbing or electicity, or a household repair, I’m most likely to hire someone to come out and fix it. I don’t see that as an issue of masculinity, either.
So, I guess, a real definition of what masculinity used to be vs. what you think it is today is in order, or application of a term other than masculinity. You have a blue collar fixation on what a man should be like, I gather.
Raqi V
December 9th, 2010
10:02 am
The word has not changed and I don’t think it every will or should. However, what a lot of men are willing to do these days has changed.
I love having manly men around the house. I do home projects because it’s a hobby of mine, however the everyday heavy lifting manual labor stuff the menfolk take care of.
My youngest helped me with my latest big project. In an attempt to keep my hand nice, pretty and soft I wear gloves when I work. I am a woman. But when the boy started to help me he went to get some gloves and I told him first all he is man, rough hands goes with the name. And secondly he has not earned the right to wear gloves yet. After he has gotten a few callous on his hands, cuts and bruises over the next 10 years, then and maybe then he will be eligible to wear a pair of work gloves.
I have also told both of my boys that they need to keep their nails cut and clean them when the take a shower but other than that get ‘em dirty. Do some work.
My hub taught both of my boys how to change a tire. Not only to be able to do so if their tire goes out but to be able to help a woman and/or elderly person change theirs should they find them stranded. That’s what a man does. He looks out for children, women and the elderly.
Celisea
December 9th, 2010
10:03 am
I don’t think “living in a different time” has so much cause the shift in masculinity. Aside from metrosexuals, men are masculine….all day long. Maybe in a different sense but none the less. No matter the time or era, if traditional roles are handed down the traditional roles will live on. Too, there are many homes now where a man isn’t present whereas in my day daddy was present. If no daddy who’s doing the teaching? As long as lawn grows there’s a need to mow, cars are made there’s a need for service….now hunting, I can’t speak too much to that in a traditional sense cause when I grew up everybody live in the urban areas and frankly we didn’t see too many deers running around in the city. So the need for those things have not depleted I think the issue is there’s no one there to get it done hence, NTB or Chemlawn.
Rell - 23 months to retirement
December 9th, 2010
10:04 am
@delight23…what was your question
@princessnik..no it was not directed at you…the point i am trying to make is this…its nothing wrong if you know how to do something your man does not and vise versa…when you get into a relationship you should add not take away…or hell learn it together…we do ourselves a disservice when we start to define our mate by “roles” because there are not alot of women bare-foot an prego now-a-days…black folks are still wearing “old skin mentality” in a new age…the rules have changed..change with them or die
Dan - simply...Superior
December 9th, 2010
10:06 am
@2C
M. (pronouced M dot)
December 9th, 2010
10:06 am
Good day.
I think masculity has changed for 2 reasons:
1. Alot of guys look for maternal figure (i.e. a mom) in their relationships. This results in them giving up some masculitnity.
2. There are alot of domineering women around who dominate the men in their relationships, therefore the man gives up an amount of his masculity.
Overall, YES because some guys are afraid to be men because they dont want to upset order of things by not being themselves. They probably feel they will be labeled as chauvinistic and also some women arent really capable to deal with the men they THINK they want.
PrincessNik
December 9th, 2010
10:07 am
Ok Rell
when you get into a relationship you should add not take away…or hell learn it together
We on the same page then
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
10:08 am
Raqi, again, we’re on the same page…..to me, some things just go with the territory…..
hell, I have a white collar job, but I’m a blue collar type of cat….if you can understand that.
Delight23 With Da Lysol Trigger Finger
December 9th, 2010
10:10 am
Rell, my entire 9:37am. But no need you’ve since said the same thing I was saying anyway kinda negating your orignal so…
Melo!!
December 9th, 2010
10:11 am
Morning!
yea masculinity has changed coz paper now enables us to get stuff done that we won’t do ourselves.
That’s the by product of being developed.
I don’t like doing cars myself. I had a hard time replacing a blown head light on my wife’s van…sweat all over my butt.don’t like that much.
Light yard work around the house,that’s cool. But more heavy lifting?…no. I will leave that for folks whose educational escapades took them in another direction.
But the desire for rough handling is why some chics date laborers.
It’s a ghetto power move too!
Dan - simply...Superior
December 9th, 2010
10:11 am
@2C
Pardon me for attempting to extrapoliate.
I’m not complaining neither. I never said I don’t get it done – but it can wear a brother out.
By my definition, I do what needs doing, yes, even when I’m tired; I just don’t do extra isht if’n I don’t have to. That’s my right as a man.
Raqi V
December 9th, 2010
10:13 am
2CPTG, I get that. I live with one. And he is man enough to admit some things he cannot do. He put in some ceiling fans around the house but when it came time to rewire one our bathrooms he called the electrician.
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
December 9th, 2010
10:14 am
I feel ya Dan….
M. (pronouced M dot)
December 9th, 2010
10:15 am
Also I think the independent woman deception has changed masculinity because some guys are probably lazy and would rather have a woman take care of them and take charge of them.
@Fion
Good points.
Raqi V
December 9th, 2010
10:17 am
My husband has paper but some things he is going to do himself. One reason being he don’t mind keeping busy doing things for our home and secondly because he likes his paper and ain’t trying to pay someone else to do some of what he is very capable of doing.
DaddyDapper
December 9th, 2010
10:17 am
Sup Pimpin!
I think its kinda cool and definetly good for the togetherness of the relationship to reverse general roles. Sorta like taking a different route home from work or brushing your teeth with the opposite hand, keeps the mind sharp and creative!
Never be afraid of the new or doing things you wouldn’t normally do to gain balanced perspective!
Keep it pimpin!
Leggs
December 9th, 2010
10:18 am
Good morning!
I think masculinity has changed to a degree. I love to see a man who can work with his hands in that he can fix my leaky toilet, change my tire, move my furniture for me, etc. But, it’s also nice to know that I too can do all the above but welcome the chance to relinquish those duties.
Celisea
December 9th, 2010
10:19 am
I agree with someone that said it’s just good to know the basics. You NEVER know how the tides will turn in life and being multifaceted will enable you to switch gears without skipping a beat. I’m sure given the state of the economy so many have found themselves in situations doing things they never thought they’d have to do in order to survive. For that sake alone, a man should know how to perform the simplest manual task.
Raqi V
December 9th, 2010
10:20 am
Mdot, a lot of the laziness of men these days is merely because too many women have allowed them to be that way. Some women have so much independence to prove that they allow the man to sit back and not do what he could and/or should be doing.
Hell I can change a tire but you best believe if my hub or son is there with me he is going to be changing that tire and not me.
Purple Rain
December 9th, 2010
10:20 am
A man has broader shoulders than a woman and was meant to carry more than a woman. I.E. responsibilities. At the end of the day it’s up to that man to make sure stuff gets done, by any means necessary. Some mean have a great help in their women, some do not. But a man still has to do what he has to do. Some work in corporate america some do not, but that does not lesson the mans role. I’ve worked corporate america and then left it on my own accord, because I like farming. I have always like hunting ,fixing things, being outdoors and staying in shape. Working on my own car and not taking it to someone…why because I just LIKE to do it on my car…but I take my wifes in to the dealer. Does that make me more of a man or less of a man? Nope, what makes me a man is my intestinal fortitude, my ability to keep my word, the ability to be dependable, leading by example, being stern when needed, being comforting when needed, the ability to brush myself off after failure and come back stronger than ever. Also not being led around by a woman with my nose wide open. Good role models, and lifes lessons will make a man out of you…if you learn from them….and besides that God made man…to be a man and lead!
Raqi V
December 9th, 2010
10:21 am
Leggs, I agree. There is nothing wrong with us women knowing how to do certain things. We should, however when a man is present and/or can be called on that wrench is going in his hands.
Celisea
December 9th, 2010
10:22 am
PR – Good post