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Archive for November, 2010

Dating predicament: Tell on the two-timer?

I am never surprised when I hear of a dating relationship ending because someone is caught two-timing. Atlanta offers a lot of “options” to people that make it easy to go back to the “single buffet” when your plate is already full.

It’s happened to me before and it definitely stings when you find out. Despite the disappointment, I am always happy to have found out when I did. I think technology is making it harder to pull off the shady behavior that comes with juggling multiple relationships. Between Facebook, twitter, and all our fancy pants smart phones, a cheater has to be really crafty to go undetected. Ah, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

Why is it so tempting to carry on full-fledged relationships with people? I always want to ask the people, “Aren’t you exhausted from all the lying and juggling around?”

Even when you try to avoid all that two-timing drama in your own love life, sometimes you are stuck in other people’s drama. Recently, I saw a woman my guy …

Continue reading Dating predicament: Tell on the two-timer? »

The waiting game

If you ask a guy how long he waited to “seal the deal” with his girlfriend and you are likely to get a very precise answer. Apparently, the waiting game is one of the few games that men look forward to losing.

Anticipating when someone is ready to take the next step can require a lot of patience. I would argue that it can become distracting to some people to the point that it’s all they ever focus on. A lot of times it can take away from the “exploration phase” of getting to know someone.

I think women may be able to contend with the waiting game a little better then men, although it’s tough on us too! How do you handle the waiting game? Do you bring it up at all or pretend the sexual tension isn’t there?

Do you think the longer the wait is, the better your chances are to have a stronger connection? Does that make a difference when you want something really meaningful?

What’s the longest you have waited to seal the deal?
(Question Disclaimer: I personally didn’t want to …

Continue reading The waiting game »

Should you marry your best friend?

I met a really wonderful woman on my business trip this week. She had been married for 20 years and said that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. It was obviously a great source of pain for her but when she talked about possibly losing her best friend, I nearly started to cry!

She said that the best part of their marriage was the fact that they are so close. They have been best friends and she believes the dynamics of their marriage was strengthened by this. Well, it made me think that marrying your best friend makes a lot of sense.

My best friend is a woman and is already married with kids. I already asked if she wanted to marry me but she won’t budge. However, I can picture falling in love with a man and we become best friends, though. I’m curious about how this all works in a marriage. For instance, if I want to vent to my best friend how my man is driving me nuts and I want to plot his demise. It could get awkward!

Seriously, though what happens when …

Continue reading Should you marry your best friend? »

When a man loves a woman

There are scores of women who are completely clueless when it comes to recognizing how a man shows his love. Of course every man has their own unique way of expressing their affection and love. I think part of a woman’s job in a relationship is learning who her man is and how he expresses himself.

Granted, some men are hard to figure out, but aren’t there ways to tell when a man is in love?

Continue reading When a man loves a woman »

You’ve met your match

If you are single, it’s just a matter of time before you “meet your match” in terms of someone who challenges you. The little games you try to play won’t work on this person. They not only you call you out on your BS, they don’t leave you wiggle room to be all vague.

Not everyone is ready to meet this person. Often times you say they are “too difficult” or they are too serious, when it’s really that they are just what you need to sit up and pay attention. Sometimes our dating games backfire and we are left to make a choice: take a chance on the person who wants you to bring your “A” game or go the easy route. (pun intended, sort of).

When you meet someone who challenges you in a good way, how do you react? If you haven’t dated this person, do you think you may have met them and wrote them off too quickly?

When it comes to people who challenge us, when is it “challenging you” and when is it “changing you to fit their wants” though? Is there a difference?

I’m on a business …

Continue reading You’ve met your match »

The perfect night out

I really only have one main goal for a date: have fun. I don’t stress over the small stuff like showing cleavage, straying away from depressing topics, or staring too long at the guy’s biceps (it’s a problem sometimes!).

I never know what to expect by the end of the night but I can say that some of the best times I’ve had on a date happened because it felt natural. To me, the perfect night out is when I have laughed really hard, discovered something totally new that I like to do, or I’ve had this amazing connection with someone.

This is when I go skipping home like a high school girl all giddy about the possibilities of having another perfect night out. What’s your idea of a really great date?

When was the last time you had a really good time with friends or on a date?

Continue reading The perfect night out »

Wanted by many, taken by none

I can understand how dating multiple people can become a ego boost. You’re in high demand, people are jockeying for your time, it’s all about YOU. It’s all fun and games until somebody wants more.

This is usually when the drama starts. It’s not always easy pursuing these mini “relationships” and then you have to decide how and when to narrow things down to one…or at least TWO.

I have noticed that the younger guys I meet say that they are told to juggle many women but it gets really old, really fast for them. I’ve seen a lot of people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

Continue reading Wanted by many, taken by none »

I’m not happy and you will know it

My friend Panama Jackson recently wrote about a common problem that men experience with women: entitlement issues. Apparently women can get a little carried away with expecting men to make it their life’s mission to make/keep us happy.

Ok, so I would love to argue that women don’t have entitlement issues but there is some truth to it! This is not to say that men don’t have their own, though. Nothing is more annoying then dealing with a guy who wants more than he is willing to give, but I digress.

I just believe that women want to (and are expected) to give, sacrifice, and nurture their men so much. When we don’t feel our partner actively showing appreciation, expressing concern about when we are sad/upset, then it becomes a problem. A big one.

So perhaps both men and women should get a reality check in expectations!

Panama said that women who think “a man’s happiness hinges upon his ability to keep his woman happy” is where that whole women have entitlement issue plays …

Continue reading I’m not happy and you will know it »

I vote that we date

Happy Election Day! I hope you are all at the polls today because it’s so important to vote.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now and have more at stake, but politics has become some what of a fixation. I usually don’t talk politics when I’m just meeting someone new. I figure that I should get to know a person before I start letting politics get in the way.

Do you feel pressure to date within your political party? Would it be difficult to date someone with opposing political views?

I think I would be willing to date someone with different ideals than I but I can’t recall having done so before.

I’m the type that have ideals across the spectrum so I suppose it makes it a bit easier. What do you think our political views say about us and our compatibility in dating?

Continue reading I vote that we date »

Do you believe in karma?

I took a quick trip to Savannah this weekend and I had a ball. I absolutely love it there and going on Halloween weekend only made it more…interesting. We took one of those ghosts and graveyard tours throughout historical parts of the city. A lot of history there!

As I was putting on a brave front, I was thinking that it was a good thing I didn’t have any bad karma coming my way. That would probably have been a good time to pay for something I had done to somebody else…well, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Do you believe in karma? Do you find comfort knowing that people that have treated you horribly in relationships will one day end up miserable?

Happy Monday! How was your weekend?!

Continue reading Do you believe in karma? »