Cyber Monday: Date shopping
Welcome back everyone! I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday weekend. I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal and there are no reports of ER visits, so I think I can call it a success! How was your holiday?
Today has been deemed Cyber Monday for online shoppers to get great deals. There are also some people who chose this weekend to jump into online dating!
There is something about this time of year that make conditions optimal for setting up a profile, posting a picture, and sifting through the many websites for potential romance.
Will you give it a shot? I believe some websites are even offering free features that normally cost money, so is it a good time to see what’s out there?
I haven’t tried online dating in years and I am a little gun shy about it, admittedly. Do you think people who are online dating have true intentions for a meaningful relationships for the most part?
How do you spot the players? For those of you who have tried online dating and found success, what do you think helped?
Happy Monday!
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322 comments Add your comment
blue©
November 29th, 2010
10:34 am
@Sweet Pea – yeah sounds like he was building a roladex, so he could flip thru and decide who he was in teh mood for today…just dont get it, i’ll give you a pic if and when i feel like it, if you have to ask for one, good sign that we aint there yet lol
@i am – im with you, little people should be allowed to make noise, as long as its not that blood-curdling scream that makes you think they just fell down the stairs and broke something when they landed…
czBrat
November 29th, 2010
10:34 am
(or so he claims) exactly!!
and she could very well be casting that “large” net out to random numbers trying to see what she might catch. (pun intended)
Leggs
November 29th, 2010
10:35 am
Good morning everyone!
My Thanksgiving was wonderful, delicious food, hanging with some friends, lots of laughter and reminiscing on how we reeked havoc on Atlanta when we first arrived. Lots of laughing to the point we started crying. I couldn’t kiss the cook (since it was me) so I stood back and smiled at my table setting with all the delicious food on it!
I know a few people who have done online dating, are now happily married or are planning their wedding. Online dating works for some!
Sweet Pea
November 29th, 2010
10:37 am
10:31am~oops typo…their experience
Mr_NYC~ Bewares of what you described are already in rotation!
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
10:40 am
“….Texting conversations are soooooo impersonal to me……”
Exactly! The only time I find it acceptable are when you are in situations where you can’t talk
Examples: Work, on crowded bus, or in my case home with Lil I am and it looks like it will be forever and a day before he lays down to go to sleep.
In instances like that, I will text but I will follow up with an actual phone call when I am free that very day.
Now if you are the type to text me and then within moments of me receving your text I call and get your voicemail without an immediate text explaining why (i.e: I’m at work can’t talk) you will get the side eye!
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
10:40 am
:….Online dating works for some!…”
Just not me
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
10:41 am
“…..Legally separated people looking for a committed relationship – handle your legal business first please…..”
Can I get an amen?
Rell
November 29th, 2010
10:47 am
Online dating is fun…if you use it for…..dating. Sure there are successful hookups..but i think it has more to do with the people versus the tool. Online dating is just a tool. Use it for variety. My personal experience with online dating was fun. I used it to tighten my approach and it also keep my dates creative because my inbox was flooded when i was very active in online dating. I would average three dates a week..with about one or two hookups a month…not bad if you ask me..
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
November 29th, 2010
10:48 am
Purple — Mrs. Swiss & I met online. It happens. It’s just like anything else, though… results may vary…
SlimNumeroUno
November 29th, 2010
10:48 am
I’m not opposed to a text convo but if it’s our first times communicating, then I need to have a VERBAL convo with you…make sure you don’t sound like you never hit puberty.
Dan - simply...Superior
November 29th, 2010
10:57 am
Morning,
Online dating is what you make of it. Like Rell stated, it’s a “tool” or venue that really doesn’t change the intent of those that would use it nefariously. The venue merely allows (used correctly) more time, space, and opportunity to determine those with bad intentions.
As for it “working out”, meh. Real life relationships don’t work out when you aren’t honest with your intended, honest with yourself, and honest about your intentions; how would a venue/tool change that statistic?
Cyber Monday: Date shopping – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) | More Fun With Sex
November 29th, 2010
11:08 am
[...] Cyber Monday: Date shoppingAtlanta Journal Constitution (blog)Today has been deemed Cyber Monday for online shoppers to get great deals. There are also some people who chose this weekend to jump into online dating! … [...]
Rell
November 29th, 2010
11:09 am
The power of NO is alive with online dating….lol
Kym
November 29th, 2010
11:11 am
Good Morning All,
I hope had everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving..mine was great..I had about 40 plus family members at my house…I am truly grateful for family love…now granted I was tired..but it was worth it.(But someone else has to do it next year..LOL)
I agree with kimmie..online dating requires the same review of people you would do even if you met under more traditional ways. I do agree the holiday season brings folks out looking for love..I had like two blast from the past…this weekend.
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
11:11 am
Pics that I cannot stand on dating sites:
half nekkid pics
if you have tickets to the gun show then it’s only right I sneak a quick peek at least once, twice, or several times. But still! I won’t communicate with youPics with you throwing it up at the club with all of your homies
A pic of your car without you in it or near it
A pic of your house without you in it or near it
A pic of you scuba diving but I can’t see your face in any of your other pics and your other pics are of other people scuba diving or of the fish you are looking at. (yes, that has happened)
A pic with you and another chick that clearly shows she may not be a relative
and if she were, you would still get the side eye for kissing cousinsI am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
11:16 am
“…. blood-curdling scream that makes you think they just fell down the stairs and broke something when they landed…..”
The wounded battle cry yell. Yep. I don’t like that one either.
My Lil I AM, is a fearless warior.
He will learn near the edge of steps while he decides if he should proceed while giving my cousins’ wives heart-attacks as the sit in fear of whether or not he is going to fall.
My thing is this: boys are going to be a lot more rough and tuff then girls. Let them fall and bounce a head. They will be allright.
But yes, I make mine wear a helmet when he rides his bike outside.
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
11:17 am
REll: 10:47 : serial dater
SexyCool
November 29th, 2010
11:26 am
Three Words Daily – Pray my strength.
blue©
November 29th, 2010
11:34 am
@i am – The wounded battle cry yell – exactly. heres the crazy thing – i have to keep reminding mine not to use that battle cry just playing cause im gonna have a heart attack thinking they’ve been hit by a car. the one time one of em was really hurt (the boy fell of the trampoline and snapped his arm in two) thats when he starts hollering like just a kid playing! wasnt sure there was anything wrong till he gets to the back door yelling “i broke my arm! i broke my arm!” what kind of nonesense is that?
Tom
November 29th, 2010
11:35 am
missed the black-friday so now is trying to explore the cyber-monday
it seems that Amazon really roles this “holiday” haha just checking all their special deals on http://amzn.to/e5EbDA
Rell
November 29th, 2010
11:37 am
@I AM…serial dater…ok I will give you that. I had fun and that is my PLAN for my life. I was recently divorced and jumping right into another relationship was not something I could do. A couple of fun dates was where my head was. Well life as a funny way of working out when you have a plan..at the end of my “cycle” I meet a young lady that stormed into my life unexpected…I decided that i no longer needed to date several women…so now I just date her
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
11:41 am
“…i broke my arm! i broke my arm!” what kind of nonesense is that?…..”
My lil I AM is the biggest baby. He will be hollering bloody murder while you try to figure out eactly what is wrong.
Snapped his arm in two? OUCH!!!!
Leggs
November 29th, 2010
11:41 am
@ Rell ~ that’s nice to hear! Good for you.
AmazonRed™
November 29th, 2010
11:44 am
Good morning everyone.
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I am really grateful that I got to see my family, especially my niece and nephew. My nephew even gave me a present…his cold!
I am whatever you say I am
November 29th, 2010
11:45 am
Okay Rell: as long as you were honest with your actions then do you but I classify the behavior as serial dating.
I think it becomes a problem when you serial date but perpetuate the idea that you are looking for the one, long term, wanna get married, etc….
I had a guy in his profile talk about those very very things. His profile seemed very sincere and geniune but in person he is only after the cookies. I probably have annoyed the hell out of him because after two years of knowing him, no I will not give up my cookies.
We never really dated, maybe hung out like 3 times if that. I liked him but it was a turn off to find out he was not who he said he was.
Purple Rain
November 29th, 2010
11:50 am
Swiss, but I don’t know you except online so I can’t take that as fact. LOL
SexyCool
November 29th, 2010
11:51 am
I’ve met some nutcases and no-go’s online in much the same way I’ve met those same types in other situations. It is what it is.
What used to irk me about online dating – folks that put *NO* effort into developing an online profile, but continually sending “flirts, pokes and other FREE messages.” Stop it!
AmazonRed™
November 29th, 2010
11:57 am
I haven’t tried online dating in years and I am a little gun shy about it, admittedly
This is me too. I’ve tried it before and got a lot of interest, but I always fold when it comes time to meet up with the person. It just seems like such a risk. I have a hard time getting over it.
One of my friends would meet up with anyone she made it though one email convo with. Same with Facebook. And while she dated a lot through those mediums, she always managed to find the craziest guys. See what I mean? LOL
SlimNumeroUno
November 29th, 2010
11:59 am
So have you all ever made an effort to break up with someone prior to the holidays on purpose? (to maybe avoid the family deal or gift buying)
blue©
November 29th, 2010
12:00 pm
@i am – oh it was interesting, thats for sure, came in arm all limp like a wet noodle, and as soon as he crossed the threshold d@mn near passed out on the floor…was a really bad break….stupid thing tho, he wasnt jumping when he fell. he does all kind of tricks on that stupid thing and never falls, leand over the side to pick up something and fell of, snapped the arm in half…im just like WTH
czBrat
November 29th, 2010
12:00 pm
@ Rell ~ that’s nice to hear! Good for you.
ditto, Rell. that’s just sweetness!
yes, SC! along with the canned messages, those pokes and flirts are the epitome of effortless fishing. i once responded to a guy that was sending me waaaay too much of that stuff. told him exactly how unimpressed i was with his approach. would you believe he shamelessly admitted that he sees SO many profiles that interest him that he could not possibly take the time to personalize an introduction.
smdh
Mo (aka Moeisha)
November 29th, 2010
12:01 pm
Hello All! Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday!
Between football, shopping and eating….I had a BLAST!!
Never tried online dating so I will lurk mostly on this one. Just wanted to drop in
Delight23
November 29th, 2010
12:02 pm
tarde peoples!!! Ugggghhh. Who knew burning 700-800 calories meant nothing if you turn around and eat like 3,000.
Hope everyone had an excellent Turkey Weekend. Nothing to add to topic. Just stopped in to holla and whine a little…sucking down water and protein shakes is NOT da biz.
Rell
November 29th, 2010
12:03 pm
@I am…o yeah you might not know my former versions…honesty or saying whats on my mind is not a problem..so of course they knew that i wanted to see the “O FACE”…I would sometimes go over board with what i wanted…so I learned alot from some of the feedback i recieved….lol. SN- For men online dating is viewed as “hook up land”…I even had the gift of picking the profiles that would be quick to bed…I would look for keywords like “God Fearing” or “Christian”,”No Drama”…or when certain sites would say – describe your ideal date or ideal mate…i would look for the profiles that read like a fantasy novel…one line that keep coming up was..taking walks on the beach…question where is there an ocean in atlanta to do all that walking and love making in the sand…fantasy!!!…I could go on but you get the picture..there is common “freak” speak that comes up with online dating..other touchy subject is BBW but thats another convo..
AmazonRed™
November 29th, 2010
12:06 pm
So have you all ever made an effort to break up with someone prior to the holidays on purpose? (to maybe avoid the family deal or gift buying)
In my 20s I had two relationships end right around the 15th of November. In addition to the holidays my birthday falls between Thanksgiving and Christmas so there is a lot of gift buying and quality time needed!!! LOL
SexyCool
November 29th, 2010
12:07 pm
I used to respond to the FREE flirts with a “Thanks, but no thanks. Wish you the best.” type message. Once this dude got mad and sent me a message cursing me out. Two days later, he’d changed his user name (but used the same pics) and sent me another flirt.
That was right around the time that I was getting over the novelty of online dating.
But…I have to say…thanks to online forums such as this blog…I am still into online friending. (lol) And even with that, there must be a vetting process in place.
AmazonRed™
November 29th, 2010
12:09 pm
Once this dude got mad and sent me a message cursing me out. Two days later, he’d changed his user name (but used the same pics) and sent me another flirt.
This has happened to me too.
Then it turns out we had a mutual friend on FB and he used to send me messages that way too. Lawd. 
Leggs
November 29th, 2010
12:12 pm
@SC/czB ~ I do not, for the life of me, understand the pokes and the flirts. What is the point of sending those 5-6 preprogrammed flirts
1. Hello.
2. I like you.
3. Nice profile.
4. Wink, wink (the worse)
5. Would love to hear from you.
6. Hello
You can go back and forth like this all day long and not accomplish a darn thing. I don’t get the point of sending “flirts” back and forth. However, it does shine light on important factor…you too cheap to pay for a membership!
SlimNumeroUno
November 29th, 2010
12:25 pm
I’ve never intentionally broke up with someone to surpass the holiday’s unattached.
As far as being cursed out when you reject someone, I believe is just childish. Just because you send a msg or a wink or a whatever, doesn’t mean i’m obligated to give you any further attn passed a thanks but not interested. That goes for live & in-person advances too. Don’t Hey baby you’re so beautiful one minute but when I say i’m already involved with someone, then change your tune to calling me everything but a child of God. It’s not a good look. lol
Rell
November 29th, 2010
12:27 pm
@leggs…it means he does not want to pay the monthly fee…he justs wants to wish he had one of those ladies…lol…but there are free sites…free for dating…free for relations….so i dont get it..
Sweet Pea
November 29th, 2010
12:29 pm
@Leggs~You can go back and forth like this all day long and not accomplish a darn thing.
The flirts and winks don’t even get a response at all as it shows there is no effort. I figured that if I respond I would get cursed out because I wasn’t interested so I won’t entertain such. A friend of mine said that she would respond to every email to be polite, and my thought was why bother and you’re not interested. Here are other BEWARES:
NO PIC, NOT WITHIN YOUR AGE RANGE, SALARIES POSTED, LOOKING FOR A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP, PEN PAL… HILARIOUS!
It was recommended that I try out POF…well I did and deleted my profile and went with a paid one as there were too many sharks!! LOL
@Rell~the ones with a novel written shouts out desperation as any man or woman will become whomever you desire them to be for moment to get what they want. So with that being said, Just being yourself is what I have listed as your actions will reveal who you really are and of course, I allow you to talk about yourself while I LISTEN!
Delight23
November 29th, 2010
12:30 pm
“gurl i seentch cho pic and ur a reeeel cutie. holla at me. here my num.”
to dayum funty. 
Tell the truth, I am, you gave him your number didn’t you? :p
Leggs
November 29th, 2010
12:31 pm
@Rell ~ exactly! As Dionne Warwick would say “just a wishing and a hoping”…I don’t get it either!
Raqi V
November 29th, 2010
12:31 pm
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.
I have been overtaken in my Cyber Monday shopping this morning. With Cyber Monday and Black Friday I have pretty much completed all of my Christmas shopping.
Celisea
November 29th, 2010
12:32 pm
Never considered on-line dating….too many loonies out there.
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
November 29th, 2010
12:33 pm
Purple — Good point. For all you know I could be on this blog trolling for conjugal visits from the computer in the prison library…
kimmie
November 29th, 2010
12:38 pm
Raqi – How was T-day dinner? Was it too fancy?
SlimNumeroUno
November 29th, 2010
12:40 pm
‘For all you know I could be on this blog trolling for conjugal visits from the computer in the prison library’
swiss – have you been watching Oprah with Mrs Swiss? They had a chick on there that recently married a guy in prison that will probably die in there. How in the world does that make sense in a persons head to marry an inmate? DOH!
czBrat
November 29th, 2010
12:44 pm
raqi, i’m taking little breaks between tasks at work to cyber shop. and i couldn’t help but gift myself an awesome bag on ideeli. shhhh!
Leggs
November 29th, 2010
12:46 pm
@Sweet Pea ~ I responded once thinking that once you get past the flirt something else would happen (yet first time online). I quickly realized it’s nothing more than a flirt, a poke, an annoyance!
And, it makes absolutely no sense to go to an online dating site and not post your pic. Do men/woman really think a silhouette will yield a response…hell, I could be talking to boo foo the rapist!!