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Cyber Monday: Date shopping

Welcome back everyone! I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday weekend. I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal and there are no reports of ER visits, so I think I can call it a success! How was your holiday?

Today has been deemed Cyber Monday for online shoppers to get great deals. There are also some people who chose this weekend to jump into online dating!

There is something about this time of year that make conditions optimal for setting up a profile, posting a picture, and sifting through the many websites for potential romance.

Will you give it a shot? I believe some websites are even offering free features that normally cost money, so is it a good time to see what’s out there?

I haven’t tried online dating in years and I am a little gun shy about it, admittedly. Do you think people who are online dating have true intentions for a meaningful relationships for the most part?

How do you spot the players? For those of you who have tried online dating and found success, what do you think helped?

Happy Monday!

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

322 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
8:40 am

GOOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 29th, 2010
8:41 am

g’morning…

“Do you think people who are online dating have true intentions for a meaningful relationships for the most part?” if they’re local…possibly; if not, only for a hook-up when he/she visits that particular city.

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 29th, 2010
8:42 am

morning, sweetness.

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
8:46 am

Morning handsome. Is it just you and me today?

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 29th, 2010
8:48 am

so far, it is…..

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
8:50 am

“….How do you spot the players? For those of you who have tried online dating and found success, what do you think helped?….”

I think that if I found success, I wouldn’t be single now would I?

I had a relationship with someone that I met online. It started out real good but for various reasons which I am aware of.
Prior to him, I met weirdos, and after him I have met weirdos that were worse than before.
I am really ready to throw in the towel and close out my account.
Better yet, I am closing shop on dating I don’t want to be bothered.
I had a date with someone on Saturday (this person I didn’t meet online) and it was horrible.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
8:51 am

typo: meant to say

I had a relationship with someone that I met online. It started out real good but for various reasons which I am aware of, it ended.

YesSheIsCute

November 29th, 2010
8:53 am

Good morning everyone! And congrats WD for cooking Thanksgiving dinner! I haven’t tried that yet maybe one of these days…..

I don’t do the online dating thing. Although I’ve met saner people online…The last 2 were crazy (one was a little fixated and the other just plain “i will stalk you and kill you in your sleep” crazy), people and after that I was done. No more internet dating for me! :D

blue©

November 29th, 2010
8:53 am

Morning People!
Got my Christmas lights up and they look awesome!!! Enjoyed my holiday, which makes this back to work thing painfulll….
Do you think people who are online dating have true intentions for a meaningful relationships for the most part? always wondered on that one, but i think its prob kinda 50/50…some who want real relationships and some who figure its a way for a semi-anonymous hookup, telling the difference, thats the trick….

LL411

November 29th, 2010
8:57 am

Still with my online met s/o four years later, and yes he is crazy LOL! :)

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:02 am

I think that with every guy you meet, they at first are focused on just getting in the cookie jar. If you allow them to take the time to get to know you, they aren’t as focused in getting in the cookie jar and they begin to see you as a person as long as you present yourself as a lady and not like a stripper
but for the most part; guys want the cookies

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:02 am

Morning Blue!

Sweet Pea

November 29th, 2010
9:05 am

Good Morning Everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I feel that you can meet a person online and find a meaningful relationship as it’s no different than meeting a person in the grocery store or anywhere else and like 2C said if it’s local. Of course, anyone can create a profile and say things that are enticing, however after having a few convos you can decipher the ones who are there for pure entertainment IMO. As you can tell I’ve tried online dating, however I haven’t had any success other than great conversation and like “I AM” I met someone and eventually the “real” person showed up but while the representative was enforced I enjoyed it so it equipped me for what to look out for if I decide to do it again.

Simple Man!!!!!

November 29th, 2010
9:09 am

Morning Folks!!!! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

blue©

November 29th, 2010
9:14 am

Morning I Am..how was your holiday?

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
9:15 am

Um, I haven’t really tried online dating from a specific online dating site. However, the person I am dating now I met off a regular networking site about 2 to 3 yrs ago. We didn’t meet in person until at least a year and a half later. Also, I wasn’t necessarily LOOKING to find someone but I suppose he came across my profile and the communication went from there.

How do you spot the players? Um…I suppose one way would be to go by what they say, their actions, when they try to schedule time to see you blah blah blah…the same as if you met someone in person.

kimmie

November 29th, 2010
9:20 am

Good morning all!!

I had an awesome Thanksgiving weekend, in spite of the repairs I am now waiting to get done on my front car window! But hey, stuff happens!

On topic – I think meeting people online is really not much different than meeting them other places. You should go thru the same screening process you would with anyone else. I have made the mistake of meeting men thru introductions from friends/family and thinking I didn’t have to “screen” as much or be as diligent, thinking all that was “done” for me already! Big Mistake!

I now run across countless people who have met their now spouses online and they are very happy. They say the pool of quality people to meet there is bigger. Yes, there are some online that don’t have ideal intentions. But that’s the same for meeting in other forms as well.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:33 am

Blue, my holiday was wonderful!

I hung out with my cousins. My son enjoyed hanging out with all the kids as well. He was the 2nd youngest and the loudest :shock:
Even the baby out of the group was not nearly as loud as my son.
He likes going to my cousin house because there is plenty of room for him to play and jump around (they have a big house).
Both of my cousins have 15 year old daughters and it is so amazing to see them all grown up. I still remember when they were babies and that seems like yesterday.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:39 am

One thing that I’ve learned is to be leary about people online that seem to pressure you if you are interested in them without allowing a natural flow of attraction to take place.
For example: just because I read your detailed profile does not neccessarily mean I’m interested. If I like the profile, it means I’m attracted and if communication continues for a brief time online followed by a meet and greet then that will let me know whether or not I am interested.
I had one guy email me once and by the second email he was like, so are you interested. And because I had been away from my email and hadn’t checked it in a while, his 3rd email was I guess you’re not interested, have a good one.
I was like :shock: you;re first email barely allowed me enough time to get the gist of what you are like. I mean anyone can taylor a profile to attract someone to look at it, but you have to exchange a few emails, phone calls, meet and greets to really find out what someone is about.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:40 am

yo everyone, excuse me for my typos: I’m sick, lack of sleep from being sick, and my mind is somewhat elsewhere.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
9:44 am

Random: Now I like tattoos, and I even have a couple but why someone would want to tattoo their face is beyond me

http://projects.accessatlanta.com/gallery/view/entertainment/tattoos-argentina/

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
9:46 am

I am – I’ve experienced something like that but it wasn’t an online deal. I’m like dude, chillax because I haven’t learned enough about you to make a Yes I like you or No I don’t like you decision. I didn’t know we were in a race. lol

Sassy Me..Disco Lady :-)

November 29th, 2010
9:48 am

Welcome back errbody!!!

Online dating…hmm…one of my besties in Florida met her fiance on BPM.com and she’s happy. I’ve been in a do something out of the box frame of mind for some time now and on-line dating is one of the things I decided to try. Fast forward to finally meeting up at Vino Libro with me looking nice n cute and the dude showing wearing a faded t-shirt with blue jeans and some ratty worn out leather shoes…then he had the nerve to suggest going to the “likka sto” and back to his place. I left and never spoke to him again…well except for that one time he emailed me asking “Did I do something wrong?…b/c I get the impression you weren’t happy with our date”…needless to say he got promptly dissed and dismissed.

I’m not knocking on-line dating but I’m not sure if it’s for me…

Sweet Pea

November 29th, 2010
9:49 am

@ I am~you have to exchange a few emails, phone calls, meet and greets to really find out what someone is about.

I agree, I just had that happen last week where we exchanged a few emails and I gave him my phone number. He text while I was at work with a pic and I complimented him on the pic and his response was “I thought I would have received one back”. I didn’t respond and later in the day while still at work, he text saying, “BUSY BUSY” and 3 minutes later he text again saying I guess that means Goodbye! My thought was goodbye already as you haven’t allow enough time for a response from me, and if you are that overbearing due to a response and not sending a pic then I don’t think I really want to get to know you!

czBrat

November 29th, 2010
9:54 am

Hey good people!

i trust all have had a wonderful kick-off to the hoilday season.

most here already know i met s/o online. and clearly that is going very well. :wink: i played around on the bpm site for about three months before i ‘met’ him. i was there to have fun and find good convo. no intentions of meeting anyone AT ALL.

how did i spot the no-goodniks? they sent revealing photos, inappropriate messages or just pushed way too hard for a meetup before taking the time to know anything about me.

also, the ones that sent canned messages got scratched off the list no matter how impressive their profile.

blue©

November 29th, 2010
10:01 am

@i am – lmao, its amazing how much noise they can make isnt it? and dont add wide open spaces to the mix, its even worse, lol. cant deal with teh growing up thing, had the “Santa” talk with the girls this weekend, and even tho they both seemed to kinda know already, i was still all depressed..the end of era, lol
and i dont get the face tatts either, just looks ignant to me…
@Sweet Pea – seems like dude was holding his own conversation! lol, just love it when they talk to themselves, and talk themselves out of stuff….
@cz – the revealing photos trup me out, dont see how you cans tart sending those to someone you dont know, and even harder to understand is why they think you’d send some back??? to me, says a lot about what they expect to find on the site themselves….

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 29th, 2010
10:01 am

Morning, everybody! Hope you all had a great holiday weekend — I know I did (GO DAWGS! GO FALCONS!)

On topic: The internet is just like anyplace else. You can find psychopaths, players, married folk, etc., but you can also find the occasional catch. Of course, some of the tell-tale warning signs on-line are a bit different, perhaps, than when mingling in person, but they’re just as easy to spot if you know what to look for.

So, here’s a PSA for you. Signs that you might want to just skip over that profile:

1) If the profile picture was taken in a bathroom mirror (a.k.a. the “MySpace” shot), you might want to keep it moving.

2) If the profile contains less than 3 sentences, none of which are grammatically correct, you might want to keep it moving.

3) If the profile picture looks like it was taken in 1978… it was. And that chic/dude is now 30 years older and 50 pounds heavier.

More later…

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:05 am

“…. I didn’t know we were in a race. lol…..”

Exactly!!!!

kimmie

November 29th, 2010
10:05 am

Swiss – I’m in love with my DAWGS all over again!LOL!!!!

Yeah, BULLDAWG NATION RULES THE STATE!!!!

abc

November 29th, 2010
10:07 am

In my own personal experience, and the experience of other men and women that I know, one is extremely unlikely to gain a relationship of any real importance through online dating. A few folks I know have been doing the online dating thing for a decade or more. I think that’s fairly self-explanatory.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:07 am

“…..Fast forward to finally meeting up at Vino Libro with me looking nice n cute and the dude showing wearing a faded t-shirt with blue jeans and some ratty worn out leather shoes………”

Ugh! I hate it when that happens. Seriously, could they at least put forth some effort to make a good impression and look nice on a date!?!?
I mean is that really hard for some people to do?

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:08 am

Even if the guy wanted to wear jeans, he could dress it up a bit with a collared shirt (dress shirt) and some nice polished shoes.
Something, Please!

kimmie

November 29th, 2010
10:08 am

See this is how it’s done. The folks been here to the house and fixed my window already and I am ready to go on to work! They said by 12, but they finished before 10!

These folks can trip all they want about immigration reform, but I don’t know what would get done without my latino friends!

Sweet Pea

November 29th, 2010
10:11 am

@Blue and Swiss~ LOL ….shots with your shirt off flexing is a stop light for sure and grammatical errors throughout the profile will certainly give another stop light

The phrase my 19yo daughter uses when a person does things that makes no sense or whenever someone says something that is crazy……..

“I CAN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY” :) Yes, it’s on to the next profile!

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
10:13 am

Speaking of the whole picture text…what’s with asking for someone you just met to send you a pic…I don’t even know too much about you, yet i’m about to send you a pic…uh…not happening cap’n. Let me find out if you’re someone I want to have a pic of first. Sheesh!

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 29th, 2010
10:14 am

Dang, I just realized that I whiffed at a much better joke on that bathroom mirror pic comment… I should have referred to that as the “Bishop” :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:16 am

“….1) If the profile picture was taken in a bathroom mirror (a.k.a. the “MySpace” shot), you might want to keep it moving…..”

Well how else are you supposed to know if the self portrait you are taking looks right? I mean sometimes, we want to take a recent pic and there is no one around to take it for us.
Now if the bathroom pic, looks like dude just got out the bathroom (shirt off, clothes off) yep, keep it moving.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:16 am

Speaking of K.I.M:” Anyone hear her new diss track to Nicki?
LOVED IT!!!!! :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:18 am

sweet pea: at your 9:49, I don’t understand what the rush is with folks these days but if he really wanted wanted to speed things along, he could have waited until you got off work and called you.
I tend to put guys I meet online in the low priority box if all they do is text.

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:20 am

Blue: 10:01 yes it is amazing how much noise they make.
I kinda feel embarrased though, at my house I allow my son to jump around and make all the noise he wants provided he is not screaming and having a tantrum.
My cousin’s wife didn’t seem to feel the same :shock: oops. my bad.

Sweet Pea

November 29th, 2010
10:22 am

@Slim~your post about the pic I feel ya! I had ONE conversation with a guy and he text asking for a pic. I told him sorry, however I don’t text pics. It seems to be the norm now. I asked one guy why do you need my picture and I have recent pics posted on my profile, and his response was so I will know who is calling.

Yeah whatever….sounds like he is creating a directory of which I care not to be a part of so if storing my name is not good enough….G0OD RIDDANCE

I am whatever you say I am

November 29th, 2010
10:23 am

but in my defense, what’s a little jumping around from a 2 year old matter when you have a house full of kids ranging from age 1 -35 (my other cousin’s wife was chasing kids around outside and the kids ran inside to get away, lol) ? running around chasing each other?:lol:

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 29th, 2010
10:25 am

Another pic-related PSA:

If you’re going to “sext” someone, verify that the number he/she gave you is legit BEFORE sending the pic.

A buddy of mine got a bathroom mirror azz shot of this large woman and it was a wrong number (or so he claims). :lol:

czBrat

November 29th, 2010
10:26 am

anybody pushing for pics, meetups, numbers, whatnot just reeks of desperation, imo. i had a guy offering to fly me to VA for the weekend. yeah right! told me a few others had accept that offer over the past year that he’d been doing the online thing. well, good for you buddy.

Purple Rain

November 29th, 2010
10:27 am

I’ve yet to hear of or see with my own eyes a longterm successful online dating/relationship work. I like my relationships and meetings up close and personal.

Mr_NYC

November 29th, 2010
10:27 am

Beware the profiles with only head shots and no full body shots
Profiles HEAVY with a point by point recap of what they don’t want — signs of anger
Profiles with pics of children — not wise in this day and age
Profiles with pics of the pet — jury still out on that one, guess you have to be a animal person to understand that
Profiles heavily laced with innuendo — can’t say you missed the signs on what they are looking for
Serial winkers, blinkers, smilers, pokers, and other senders of repeated canned messages

SlimNumeroUno

November 29th, 2010
10:30 am

A pet peeve of mine as far as online goes is when someone sends a message and all the words are typed in that ebonic lingo: gurl i seentch cho pic and ur a reeeel cutie. holla at me. here my num.

Sweet Pea

November 29th, 2010
10:31 am

@ I Am~ I gave my phone the side eye when I saw that because I was like if you are really trying to get to know me then you are really making it difficult with being impatient. So in the words of the evil looking lady from the Weakest Link, GOODBYE!

Texting conversations are soooooo impersonal to me. It makes you wonder if they are intimidated by your convo or is it because the profile they created they don’t measure up to. As a friend of mine stated, you have to weed through the bullcrap!

I heard the guys say the same…there experience has been a woman that keeps hitting redial as if she had no life before him, sending flesh revealing pics, and asking for the rent to be paid. It’s a jungle out there whether you are online or wherever.. LOL

Purple Rain

November 29th, 2010
10:32 am

Also when looking at profile pictures look in the background, are things messy and in disarray? Did the person take a picture of themselves? Those are red flags of a messy person or a person who has no friends and is maybe a narcissist. LOL

Mr_NYC

November 29th, 2010
10:33 am

Legally separated people looking for a committed relationship – handle your legal business first please