accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Fact or fiction: Men don’t mind being single

I can attest to the fact that “the art of being single” isn’t perfected by everyone. Some people are the type that has to have someone in their life at all times. You know, the serial monogamists who go from one relationship to the next with little to no break between. I don’t think it’s a good thing or bad thing, personally. It’s a matter of personal preference and really great timing, but it’s rare that I meet a man who admits to needing a woman in his life.

I have, however, met and dated newly single divorcees who have that whole “nestling” thing going. This is when they immediately want someone to feel the void of their ex-wife. Almost anyone one will do, really. It’s like being the ultimate rebound girl, except with home-cooked meal requests.

Do you believe men dislike being single? Is it a myth that having all that freedom is the reason why men delay marriage?

Ladies, has a man ever told you that he doesn’t mind being single? Do you meet men who actively seek a relationship and don’t mind admitting it?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

282 comments Add your comment

For Real

November 23rd, 2010
12:11 pm

2C: I have to disagree with you on this one bruh. I’m upfront no chaser and most importantly I stick to what I said upfront.

Dan: Yes sir

Norvee: I agree with your 1:58 and you right there are some men that can’t handle a woman with a rotation. For record I ain’t one of them. Do you like dolphins?

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 23rd, 2010
12:14 pm

2C: I have to disagree with you on this one bruh. I’m upfront no chaser and most importantly I stick to what I said upfront.

Grown men do this ^^^^^^^…..it’s the guys who ain’t being true, those are the ones I’m talking about….

DJ Sniper

November 23rd, 2010
12:14 pm

Some of ya’ll are saying that when a woman decides she isn’t happy anymore, it something that has built up over time due to something that the man has done. While that is true in some cases, I’m sure ya’ll can agree that there are situations where the woman decides to leave it all just for the hell of it. Men are capable of some truly trifling behavior, but women are too.

For Real

November 23rd, 2010
12:18 pm

abc: Seems to me you made the decision to walk because you could not make it work under your terms instead of succumbing. I feel you bruh.

Melo: “If it fails that’s when u either succumb or u walk.” – I would strikeout succumb and replace it with “make it work under your terms”. See you are a willing participant but let me make this perfectly clear because I understand that no two marriages are alike. If it works for you then DON’T CHANGE ONE A DAYUM THANG!!!

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
12:18 pm

For Real

November 23rd, 2010
12:20 pm

2C: Your follow-up just popped up and I get what you are saying. “Playing Games” then no it would not make sense to be upfront. With that being said what your take on “If I tell you I’m going to lie to you, is it still a lie?”

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
12:22 pm

succumb as in jellyback,as Infamous would say.

there are men out there who have succumbed to being 2nd lieutenant,at the beck and call of their females. :lol:

Da_Man!

November 23rd, 2010
12:24 pm

Men don’t mind being single b/c they’re never “really” single. Most of the time our psyche just tells us that we need companionship. So depending on how you define it, single can just mean you don’t have “in-house” but if you have someone to call on that’s nothing more than a short drive away then it’s all good. That person doesn’t have to be a girlfriend.

Zulu

November 23rd, 2010
12:24 pm

Men are the biggest chumps in the world when it comes to females. They don’t understand that most women are genetically hardwired to crave two things, money and children, and that men are just the means to that end. A lot of guys naively blunder into marriage thinking it’ll be like Ozzie & Harriett before reality sets in. Singleness is fine. Shacking up is fine too long as you can escape with no strings attached. Marriage is mostly for fools.

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
12:27 pm

that’s a troll,if u wanna know.

Not ur original zulu

Good Guy Getting Greater

November 23rd, 2010
12:30 pm

“…you know, the serial monogamists who go from one relationship to the next with little to no break between”

Yea, can’t even lie that definitely used to be me. I was always “on to the next one” lol. Didn’t really matter to me though, because I just hated being single I just wanted to have that someone, but now after more than just a few relationships under my belt (successful and disasterous) I actually like being single.

Do you believe men dislike being single? Is it a myth that having all that freedom is the reason why men delay marriage?

It depends on the guy honestly. IMHO…i like being single. Sure, there are times when I wish I wasn’t, but for the most part being single is probably best for me since I’m just not ready to settle down. I still feel like I have a lot more to discover within myself and a lot more to do and accomplish in my own life and contrary to popular belief, i think a girlfriend would only slow me down. Time possibly spent with a SOS, could be time to go out and have drinks with my friends, hoop with the fellas, practice for guitar performances, save my money (lol)…I’m sure a lot of women think it’s stupid but when you’ve been in one relationship after another you start to realize how much time was wasted on making someone else happy instead of self. I’m embracing my selfishness can’t you tell? lol so in my case i’d say it’s definitely a myth. That freedom is precious.

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
12:35 pm

I met TheDude at a space in my life where I was really loving myself and “not minding” being single.

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
12:42 pm

Sexxycool?

‘not minding being single’

doubt that!

Females are so self conscious. Even when sitting alone at the bar,her fleeting eyes and dress will always alert even the most benign make predator! :lol:

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
12:43 pm

Male predator

abc

November 23rd, 2010
12:45 pm

Actually, I didn’t walk, she did. While it was okay with me to split, I wouldn’t have done it. Marriage isn’t a matter of having such a choice, to me — it’s a lifetime commitment, for better or for worse, as the vows say. Now, everything worked out just fine for me, but I can’t say my kids are better off for it (yet), and I know my ex isn’t better off for it, even if she’s the one that broke it all up.

In fact, I feel like the luckiest guy on the planet, the way things worked out for me personally. It’s a blessing from God, is what it is — and on that account, it’s a positive effect on my kids, too, because they can see that for what it is.

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
12:46 pm

Dan – 1101a – “I lead, she follows, or not. But to ride on this train, I’m the conductor. She can’t let me do nothing..”

That.
Was.
Sexy.

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
12:59 pm

Melo…It’s a good thing I know me a helluva lot better than you know me.

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 23rd, 2010
1:24 pm

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
1:25 pm

Wendys fries are looking and tasting a lot better

I’m done now buying a wendys spicy chicken plain and then getting a mickydee fries pack

nice job!

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 23rd, 2010
1:25 pm

SlimNumeroUno

November 23rd, 2010
1:26 pm

ooh na na…what’s my name

ooh na na…what’s my name

Not everybody knows how to work my body
Knows how to make me want it
But boy you stay up on it
You got that something that keeps me so off balance
Baby you’re a challenge, lets explore your talent

Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oooooh, oooooh

(me likey dis song)

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
1:27 pm

Swiss?

have u seen the Aretha franklin chocolate bar ‘diva commercial?

Rell

November 23rd, 2010
1:27 pm

a good friend of mine recently just completed her 21 days…

Thanksgiving Year-Round
We’re particularly gifted in the finger-pointing department when it comes to our romantic relationships—you know, where the other person is the one who needs to change. Let me explain how something extremely simple, taking less than 5-minutes a day, can literally change your life.

A few years back, a friend of mine was complaining about his wife. From my observation, she was a terrific lady, and he was lucky to have her. I told him as much, but he continued to point out all the ways she was responsible for his unhappiness. That’s when I shared an experience that had literally changed my marriage… and me.

One Thanksgiving, I decided to keep a Thanks Giving journal for my wife. Every day for an entire year I logged at least one thing I appreciated about her—the way she interacted with her friends, how she cared for our dogs, the fresh bed she prepared, a succulent meal she whipped up, or the beautiful way she styled her hair that day—whatever. I looked for the things my wife was doing that touched me, or revealed attributes, characteristics, or qualities I appreciated. I wrote them all down secretly for the entire year. By the end of that year, I’d filled an entire journal.

When I gave it to her the following Thanksgiving, she cried, calling it the best gift she’d ever received. (Even better than the BMW I’d given her for her birthday!) The funny thing was that the person most affected by this gift was me. All that journaling forced me to focus on my wife’s positive aspects. I was consciously looking for all the things she was doing “right.” That heartfelt focus overwhelmed anything I might have otherwise complained about. I fell deeply in love with her all over again (maybe even more than ever, as I was seeing subtleties in her nature and behavior instead of her more obvious qualities). My appreciation, gratitude, and intention to find the best in her was something I held in my heart and eyes each day. This caused me to show up differently in my marriage, which, of course, made her respond differently to me. Soon, I had even more things to write in my Thanks Giving journal! As a result of choosing to take a mere five minutes every day or so to document all the reasons why I was grateful for her, we experienced one of the best years of our marriage, and it’s only gotten better.

After I shared my experience, my friend decided to keep a Thanks Giving journal about his wife. Within the first few months, he completely turned around his marriage. Choosing to look for and focus on his wife’s positive qualities changed his view of her, which changed how he interacted with her. As a result, she made different choices about the way she responded to him. The cycle perpetuated. Or, shall we say, compounded

SlimNumeroUno

November 23rd, 2010
1:29 pm

swiss – how you gon’ play Marco Polo by yourself?

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
1:33 pm

He plays with himself a lot.

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
1:35 pm

Not everybody knows how to work my body!

Slim?

yellow foul flag for that line…. No more interacting with that lady!

see how talking too much is a no no.

comparing other dudes to him, no compliment there! :lol:

OK

November 23rd, 2010
1:37 pm

@ Rell… Im coming out of lurkville on your 1.27pm post…that is what Im talking about.
Do you have any brothers..hehe

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
1:38 pm

Dell?

did Steve Harvey pen that 1.27? :lol:

kimmie

November 23rd, 2010
1:48 pm

Beautiful Rell. You’re dropping many gems today!

Wise Diva

November 23rd, 2010
1:51 pm

Are you guys going to be working tomorrow?

oh and Ya’ll wish me luck, I’m cooking this year, yikes!

Rell

November 23rd, 2010
1:52 pm

@OK….That is a story from a book i am reading calling the compound effect. I am no longer married..but i will do this challenge on my current girlfriend..I observe the laws of power

Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

NY2GA

November 23rd, 2010
1:55 pm

WD, no work, strickly drinking and eating tomorrow … Pre Thanksgiving Party …

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
1:58 pm

I will be AT work…not so sure about workING.

SlimNumeroUno

November 23rd, 2010
1:58 pm

Melo – maybe that’s a hidden message to Chris Brown from Rihanna. lol But seriously some dudes do ask crazy questions about your past as if they want to get their feelings hurt.

Wise – I will be here tomorrow. :-(

blue®

November 23rd, 2010
2:00 pm

@WD – Im officially on vacation starting tomorrow…

ok, so i had Fig Newtons for lunch…..it seemed like a good idea at the time….gonna be hungry later….

Rell

November 23rd, 2010
2:02 pm

@Melo…The compound effect – Darren Hardy…editor of success magazine..thats who wrote that :-)

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
2:07 pm

Rell?

he’s perpetuating the myth that women need to be put in a pedestal all the time.

see how they all liking that?

what of the men?

Or as Ms Guthrie wld say,what has she done for me lately to deserve that?

Sassy Me..I Feel like bustin' loose :-)

November 23rd, 2010
2:07 pm

Are you guys going to be working tomorrow?

Yeah I’m gonna saunter in veeery casually and mysteriously exit the same way….

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
2:10 pm

Why wouldn’t the woman that lays down with you every night, cooks for you, cleans your house, mothers your babies and what ever in dahell else she does be deserving?

Trevor0529

November 23rd, 2010
2:14 pm

@Sassy, I will do the same thing at work tomorrow. Walk right in and mysteriously exit the same way.

Rell

November 23rd, 2010
2:14 pm

he’s perpetuating the myth that women need to be put in a pedestal all the time.

@melo..its a gratitude exercise…so being grateful for a person that choice to be with you is sticking her a pedestal….hmmmm….

who does like to be apprieciated….hmmmmm

I dont get your line of questioning on this one…its simple…as a “leader” you lead…you reward your charge for a job well done…you help them become the person you want by encourgement…i could go on..but i think you get it

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
2:15 pm

Sexycool?

she laying with me?
making babies with me?

surprise,surprise! :lol:

for a moment,it sounded like she was putting her toy beside her in bed,placing her finger in her nether and wallaaaaa!

A baby is born! :lol:

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
2:19 pm

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
2:22 pm

You have made it more than clear over the years that you have little respect for women and hold them in low regard. I don’t even know why I’m surprised at your position, because if nothing else, you are consistent.

Kudos to those that show growth.

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
2:23 pm

And thank God for trees that remain rooted in the same spot…they are excellent for throwing shade.

Melo!!

November 23rd, 2010
2:28 pm

Sexxycol?

no debate,just str8 to a conclusion?

are u that weak minded u can’t view a contrary opinion without feeling slighted personally?

Rell

November 23rd, 2010
2:30 pm

And thank God for trees that remain rooted in the same spot…they are excellent for throwing shade

- body blow..lol

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm

Melo…when you approach a discussion in a mature manner that opens a dialogue or that calls for an exchange, I welcome that. However, broadstroking, generalizations and sophomoric sarcasm are all conclusions in themselves and are unworthy of debate.

blue®

November 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm

@melo – been lurking here, but am interested in the question as Rell poses it, and i must have missed the answer, “so being grateful for a person that choice to be with you is sticking her a pedestal?” – how does that work exactly, cause im sure you would like to have some sign of appreciation from her for the things that you do for her..so whats wrong in giving her the same, how is that putting her on a pedestal?

Devile Advocate

November 23rd, 2010
2:40 pm

Enter your comments here