Foul play: Is text flirting considered cheating?
Another celebrity couple is splitting up. I know, it’s shocking how short the marriages are becoming. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are ending their marrage and many reports say that inappropriate texting is part of the blame.
I am pretty sure the “textually active” behavior is a symptom of something way deeper than that. For arguments sake, do you believe that committed people should forfeit their “text” flirting and friendships out of respect to their relationship?
A lot of people don’t like sacrificing their “freedom” in a relationship but is something that insignificant really that important when you are committed to making your relationship last?
Would you consider flirting through texting a form of cheating?
When is it harmless and when does it cross the line?
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347 comments Add your comment
kimmie
November 18th, 2010
10:46 am
Morning good people!
It’s the same stuff that went on before texting & Facebook. How did folks “flirt” or cheat then?
Raqi – That’s a real shame! Sounds like the same idiot that was coming on this blog messing with you. I thought that was taken care of when certain folks got banned. Some people really need to get a life. Cyber bullying!
I’m sorry about Eva & Tony, but they seemed a miss-match to me anyway. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. He always came off a little dense.
blue®
November 18th, 2010
10:48 am
@Simple Man – id agree with you, that some folks are more flirty by nature. however, this must be kept “within bounds” as it were when in a relationship. this is something, that imo, takes discussion between both parties, clearly identifying the personalities we’re dealing with and what boundaries they are comfortable with. Me, i tend to be quite flirty, but thats usually after having told you 27 im married lol. mr.blue is aware of that, and so far has raised no complaints. i owe that to trust that i wont go too far myself, and should dude try to go too far, i wont be shy with my biting wit(is there supposed to be an h in there?) and/or the throat punch lol…
Alabama Southern Belle
November 18th, 2010
10:49 am
Why was she going through his phone? Even married people shouldn’t go through each others phone.
Simple Man!!!!!
November 18th, 2010
10:49 am
Word on the street is that Eva never cut ties with Mario Lopez and that has been the root of the problem for Tony and Eva…..
granny godzilla
November 18th, 2010
10:50 am
YES !
It is cheating.
Guys…think with the head on your shoulders.
Guy
November 18th, 2010
10:52 am
Flirting is telling the other party “I want your body”. Always was, always will be.
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
10:53 am
Simple Man – Thats the thing….I am always flirty and playful with women.
You said “by nature” you do this. Can’t lay this to “nature.” By nature you sleep, get hungry, sweat, so forth and so on.
I think to phrase intentional behavior as doing it by nature and hanging in the “gray” area is probably the root cause of a lot of things gone wrong with many folks.
Kimmy
November 18th, 2010
10:56 am
I think it is. It is disrespectful to the person your are currently involved with. For some reason people are brave behind their cellphones or social networking pages, but either way it opens up the possibility of taking it further.
I'm Here From The Government And I'm Here To Help
November 18th, 2010
11:08 am
DUH!!! YES!!!
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:09 am
Three Words Daily – Preparedness creates opportunity.
Willie Dynamite
November 18th, 2010
11:13 am
Morning All,
I can definitely see flirting as being poisoinous to a relationship. i am constantly being reminded of it. I have been made aware that i am a serial flirter. To me it’s innocent and I can see how it would be perceived as otherwise. My personality and somewhat witty conversational tone implies flirt. Because of this I make a consciuos effort to be transparent. My phone, social networking and such is open for the Wife to see. She doesn’t have to dig because its there for her to see it. I’m sure she goes through my texts and also answers my phone occasionally. It doesn’t bother me as I want to make her feel at ease and not give her a reason to doubt my faithfullness.
Lady
November 18th, 2010
11:14 am
hello
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:16 am
The texting/sexting bllsht….was the number one problem in my past relationship with ShtHead.
I don’t entertain it. My just married sister is having an issue in her two month old marriage because of this foolishness. And like I told her “You should’ve nipped that mess in the bud a long time ago and you wouldn’t be having to pay the piper now. You made ya’ be hard. Now, you gotta lay hard.”
I just had to put someone in their place recently about this. I told him, “Look—ahere. You’re going to need to stop sending me these kinds of text messages. Period.” Because I don’t want anything on my phone that can be glanced at and taken the wrong way.
I don’t need to text-flirt for entertainment. I have other ways of amusing myself. And playing some b.s. text games is just not worth jeopardizing my relationship for.
Stop it.
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:19 am
Simple Man – that’s the same bllsht ShtHead used to say. “I’m just being myself.” “You knew I was a flirt when you met me.” “I can’t believe you’re so insecure that you would let something like this bother you.” “You don’t trust me.”
And like I would tell him – If you play around bllshtting…you gone end up with some on ya’. And contrary to the popular myth, sht stinks and bllsht is not cotton candy. And as far as trusting, I *might* trust you, but I definitely don’t trust them. Because folks, men or women, that don’t have some kind of interest in you, don’t sit around playing those kinds of games on the phone. Period.
Poppa Grande
November 18th, 2010
11:19 am
Good Morning, MIA blogtown residents,
Cheating is relative. It is based upon the rules of those involved.
For example, in my scholastic career, I taken exams in which I would be cheating if I used my textbook. However, I have taken other exam in which using my textbook was perfectly fine.
It depended on the rules.
In regards to Tony & Eva, it depends on their rules. It appears that he broke the rules, and therefore it was cheating.
For others like Mo’Nique, who has professed to have an open-marriage, it may not have been considered cheating. It depends on the rules that they agreed to follow.
Simple Man!!!!!
November 18th, 2010
11:20 am
Celisea, I feel what you are saying but personality is developee over a lifetime and One can’t just stop being who they have become. In my case, Women are facinating to me and i love nearly everything about y’all…To that point I relish the back and forth and look forward every chance I get to interact with them. I however do respect my mates and won’t cross those lines But I think asking me to not banter or flirt with women is kinda like asking a guy to not like football or a lady to not like shopping….
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
11:22 am
Well alrighty then…you know I like it straight and to the point…LOL Both messages well spoken.
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
11:23 am
Simple Man – But I think asking me to not banter or flirt with women is kinda like asking a guy to not like football or a lady to not like shopping….
Okay if you say so but handing me BS is like peeing on me and telling me it’s raining.
Willie Dynamite
November 18th, 2010
11:26 am
SimpMan – I somewhat agree with you on the the principality of your stance because I myself took that same stance. BUT, it comes a time with that special someone that you have to make concessions. I had to and still do make a conscious effort to pull back out of respect. Not saying that my personality took a 180 but I’m just more aware of the tone of the back and forth banter.
Simple Man!!!!!
November 18th, 2010
11:27 am
SexyCool…I can’t speak to what happened with your guy, but for me I hold my partner in the higest regard and value them in the highest way, but I will not allow anyone to force me to change who and what I am.The lady in my life will always be first, But I purposely chose a female Dr., and a female barber, and when I go to the bank I prefer that the same female teller handle my business and the same female loan officer take care of that for me as well…
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:29 am
And as to the YEAR OLD TEXT MESSAGES…who in da heck keeps text messages for that long?!? And if they are *suspect*, why weren’t they being deleted as they were read and received?
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:29 am
And playing some b.s. text games is just not worth jeopardizing my relationship for.
Exactly. I have too much in hand to lose to some bs texting games.
AmazonRed™
November 18th, 2010
11:30 am
I had to and still do make a conscious effort to pull back out of respect
Agreed. And I don’t even see the point of the flirtation if you’re happy in your relationship. I’m not thinking about other people when I’m happy, and I’m for damn sure not trying to mess a good thing up. Especially by dealing with someone who has seen me naked.
But I guess for some, variety is the spice of life. Or perhaps you need to feel you are desired or “still got it” from someone other than your mate.
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:32 am
And as far as trusting, I *might* trust you, but I definitely don’t trust them.
Let the chuuch say Amen.
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:32 am
Simple…that has nothing to do with you playing text games with them.
I go to a male masseuse regularly…matter of fact..shout out to Chris Thomas as Massage Envy on Camp Creek. I *always* take my truck to Chuck Johnson at the Firestone on Riverdale Road for repairs. My accountant, Ken Pittman, is the only person I would trust to do my taxes. And I could go on and on with all the men who I know……
But I promise you….I’m not flirting with any of them via text message.
Sweet Pea
November 18th, 2010
11:35 am
How ironic we would be discussing this today and I received an email about a similar discussion that involves FB?!!
Apparently, a minister has ordered married couples to delete their FB account due to several couples having marital problems that involves a spouse hooking up with an ex.
http://www.timesunion.com/default/article/Rev-to-NJ-church-leaders-Thou-shalt-not-Facebook-817999.php
This is not worth destroying a marriage or any monogamous relationship for that matter, however it seems to be another factor in the demise of what is suppose to be sacred.
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
11:35 am
Simple Man – But I purposely chose a female Dr., and a female barber, and when I go to the bank I prefer that the same female teller handle my business and the same female loan officer take care of that for me as well…
Nothing wrong with that, as I have a male gynecologist (last 16 years), male dentist (fine as eva) and had a man doing my hair for years…still no sex, sexy banter, innuendos, flirting. We conduct business. In and out (no pun intended). If I was dating you and you handed me that, in all honesty I would walk. No second thought about it, no addressing, no conversation. Trying to get on the same page of understanding boundaries and respect (not changing who you are but being mindful of the relationship and what it needs to grow and thrive) for someone crossing the grain is futile. I wouldn’t waste my time because you’re gonna do what you want. This is the kind of behavior that keep women up in arms.
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:37 am
Simple Man, being a flirt “by nature” and shmoozing with some woman in public is not the same as exchanging flirts via text. Sending text and emails are taking it to a whole other level.
MASON
November 18th, 2010
11:38 am
I’m not so sure…..
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:40 am
Exactly, Celisea…and if I had been then, who I am now…I would have walked away from ShtHead’s foolishness a helluva lot sooner.
However, the Catch22 in that…is that since we are the sum and total of all of our experiences, if I had not experienced what I did with him, I would not be who I am….and I like, not who only who I am, but who I am always becoming.
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
11:41 am
SexyCool – However, the Catch22 in that…is that since we are the sum and total of all of our experiences, if I had not experienced what I did with him, I would not be who I am….and I like, not who only who I am, but who I am always becoming.
Exactly….you live and you learn and you keep on living and you keep on learning.
AmazonRed™
November 18th, 2010
11:41 am
You made ya’ be hard. Now, you gotta lay hard.”
I’ve read this like 6 times now and still don’t get what this is saying….
Simple Man!!!!!
November 18th, 2010
11:42 am
Sexy Cool….I admit that I flirt with the ladies that I do business with. That being said, The flirting WILL NEVER GO BEYOND that…..First I do not need my personal affairs to become compromised in a way that always happens when folks start sleeping together. Secondly regardless of if we are on the phone, vis text, or in person, respecting boundries is important to me and I take it seriously…almost as important as trust. This view may not work for some, but for me it does….
Sweet Pea
November 18th, 2010
11:42 am
@SC~And as to the YEAR OLD TEXT MESSAGES…who in da heck keeps text messages for that long?!?
Sounds like someone who desires to rekindle what you had between each other if the opportunity presents itself! LET IT GO AND ERASE THE TRACE
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:43 am
…ya’ BED hard…
LOL AmazonR, I got it after reading it only twice.
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:44 am
SimpleMan, can I ask you a question?
Willie Dynamite
November 18th, 2010
11:46 am
SimpMan – I totally understand you bruh. Just either find a very understanding Woman (good Luck) or be prepared to deal with countless side-eyes and numerous xplaining sessions.
Fion
November 18th, 2010
11:46 am
Quick flirting story
I have a female friend and met one of her girlfriends. We started sending each other texts, general harmless (wink, wink) stuff.
Next thing I know, I’m sayin “I think this Sheila (girl) is trying to tell me she wants me”!
Long story short, it was a summer affair to end all summer affairs.
Flirting is like nitroglycerin, it should be handled with care. When you lose a hand or an arm don’t be shocked.
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:47 am
To each his own…
I just know this…IN MY OPINION…any chick that accepts that has some issues asserting herself and is accepting less than in the relationship. Because NObody is ever again going to tell me that I have to be okay with them playing text games with other chicks.
Some folk don’t believe that playing with fire will get you burnt.
Leggs
November 18th, 2010
11:48 am
Good morning (although barely)! Whew, they finally opened the door for me.
@Raqi ~ I cannot believe someone, well you know, would comment on your blog like that. Glad to disabled. Keep doing you!!!!
IMO, texting another woman is a form of flirting. While you’re dating me, I see no reason for you to text and carry on a conversation with another woman. Just like there are bromances, there can be textmances. That’s where the infidelity start!
BTW, this is what I’ve heard about Eva/Tony…Tony Parker was stuffing Erin Berry, his team mate, Brent Berry’s wife.
Simple Man!!!!!
November 18th, 2010
11:48 am
Raqi…Go ahead and ask me anything…
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:49 am
Sorry…ARed…that should have been…
“You made your BED hard and now you gotta lay hard.”
It’s what my grandma used to say when folks did messy sht and then had to deal with the messy fallout.
Celisea
November 18th, 2010
11:52 am
I’ve heard the saying…directly to me…from my mama countless times so yeah, I know what it means. Along with a hard head makes a soft behind.
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:52 am
SimpleMan, If you are as big of flirt “by nature” as you say you are, do it as often as you say that you do, how do you manage to rein it in once a new relationship starts?
I am a believer of you have to be “minded” in something before getting into it if you want it to work.
There are no magic buttons that get pressed or switches that get flipped to make everything all nice and respectful at the moment of going from single to not-so-single.
If are really flirting so loosely like that because you just love women so, I have to believe that you are still that same flirt crossing lines within a relationship.
AmazonRed™
November 18th, 2010
11:53 am
And as to the YEAR OLD TEXT MESSAGES…who in da heck keeps text messages for that long?!?
I do.
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:54 am
Oh…and having a naturally flirtatious personality and interacting with a person face to face is one thing…in some ways, a part of life….but once you make the effort to start going back and forth via text message…it’s taken on a whole different meaning.
AmazonRed™
November 18th, 2010
11:55 am
SimpMan – I totally understand you bruh. Just either find a very understanding Woman (good Luck) or be prepared to deal with countless side-eyes and numerous xplaining sessions.
Raqi V
November 18th, 2010
11:55 am
I do
LOL AmazonR. My hubby and I sometimes exchange racy texts and I don’t even keep those longer than a couple of days.
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
11:57 am
But…ARed…I wager that they are not your average, every day, run of the mill text messages…
“I’m running late.”
“En route.”
“What time does it start?”
And so on…
I should have qualified that statement a little better…because I do *save* text messages from TheDude. Everything else….usually get deleted every couple of days or so.
With that being said, I will ask a different question….
Who in daheck keeps text messages that don’t mean anything for that long?
SexyCool
November 18th, 2010
12:00 pm
Rock – I tend to keep the *mushy* ones…(lol)..but I’m corny like that.