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Dating warning signs: Wake up to the break-up

Have you ever dated someone and thought things were going great and then out of nowhere they dump you? It’s probably not so much “out of nowhere” but because you weren’t paying attention, it felt that way. I have been there before and that whole “hindsight is 20/20″ thing came into play. There were signs and I didn’t see them.

If you aren’t the type to fight, break up, make up ..rinse/repeat, then you may end up in these situations when you couldn’t see the expiration date on your relationship. When think about a break-up you went through, did you see the beginning of the end? What were your warning signs that it was OVER?

If you figure out things are headed to splitsville, would you try to put things back on track before it all comes undone? When do you know that it’s not worth fixing? How do you figure out if it’s worth fighting for?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

324 comments Add your comment

Dan - simply...Superior

November 16th, 2010
11:24 am

A note on the pillow will usually get the point across; if not, my half of the cab fare on the dresser usually does..

blue®

November 16th, 2010
11:25 am

@evy – 112 years you say….starting to wonder about you….
@Raqi – ok gotta ask how you end up in Hawaii by mistake? lol

Sweet Pea

November 16th, 2010
11:25 am

@Leggs…Congrat!!! Wrap your arms around yourself and that is a sista hug from me to you!!

@ARed….I got intro’d to the family, then started getting phased out during gatherings. So yeah, the writing was on the wall, but it didn’t make me feel better about things!

My sentiments, however only the strong survive and in the famous words of Nemo (Finding Nemo>movie)….Keep on swimming, Keep on swimming!!!:)

Stac

November 16th, 2010
11:27 am

Did anyoen see Oprah show about the men being molested. Have anyone ever been involved with a man who admitted it happen to him, did he act different than others in some ways?

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
11:30 am

LOL blue. I was not in Hawaii by mistake I saw the sunrise by mistake. Outside of being comical (which I seem to not do too well on here LOL) by mistake I mean that I got up to go to the potty really early in the morning when I would like to still have been asleep and I looked out the window of our hotel and saw the beautiful sight. It was absolutely breathtaking.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:30 am

@Raqi – Will do. Thanks for the tip.

@Sweat Pea – Thanks.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:31 am

Stac – I dated a guy who’s story was pretty much like Antoine Fisher. We got along well, but I couldn’t relate to his life (foster system, abuse) and he couldn’t relate to mine (Huxtable upbringing).

blue®

November 16th, 2010
11:32 am

@Raqi – gotcha! now i get it, lol. sounds like a wonderful view, but im with you, im partial to my sleep. so take a minute to see the sunrise, then back to dreamland for me….

evy

November 16th, 2010
11:33 am

@ blue: no need to wonder, dear – i am an open book…of course, it was heavily censored after my abduction, and i still haven’t mastered their technology to the point where i can disable it all, but i can hardly be held responsible for that…

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:35 am

but im with you, im partial to my sleep. so take a minute to see the sunrise, then back to dreamland for me….

blue – It’s not as hard as you think. When it’s 6 am in Hawaii, it’s like noon here in Atlanta. Your clock will be off when you get out there, so usually you will catch it regardless. That’s probably what happened with Raqi.

blue®

November 16th, 2010
11:40 am

@ARed – i could see that. hmmm, feeling “unworldy” here. havent realy been of this coast never mind out of the Contiguous US, or country period….been to Colorado for a week, thats about the extent of my travels :(

Stac

November 16th, 2010
11:43 am

Most men dont tell so Im sure we all know someone who suffered this abuse.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:46 am

blue – :shock:

Never too late to start! :)

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 16th, 2010
11:50 am

Everybody should go to Hawai’i at least once… there’s gorgeous scenery of just about every kind there: black sand beaches, white sand beaches, coral reefs, snow-topped (yes, snow) mountains, rain forest, active volcanoes… amazing place…

blue®

November 16th, 2010
11:56 am

@ARed – tis true, tis true….gets interesting what with mr.blue being military and all, he gets to talking about how he’s been to Greece, Turkey, Italy on and on and im like aaahhh Shut Up! lol

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:02 pm

blue – Mr. blue should take you along! I don’t know if he’s active now, but dating a military man is one of the best ways to see the world!

I’m just obsessed with travel, so don’t mind me. I’d rather hold off on having kids even, so I can go to all the places I want to go. I’m way behind in my travel goals. But I’m stockpiling my frequent flyer miles!

Melo!!

November 16th, 2010
12:07 pm

Vick was smoking last nite….

feel sorry for the terrible abused DeAngelo Hall

blue®

November 16th, 2010
12:13 pm

@ARed – oh naww, he finished his tours in ‘04, and even so had done most of his travel before we got hitched. once we tied the knot, it was actualy war deployments, and i aint goign there lol!

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:16 pm

once we tied the knot, it was actualy war deployments, and i aint goign there lol!

:lol: I heard that.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:17 pm

There are only a few other places that I want to go in and outside of the USA. We’ll eventually get around to them.

On out hiking trip this weekend we are supposed to being some of the many waterfalls in the NC mountains. I bet being near that water takes at least 10 degrees off of the temp.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:18 pm

Blue, is Mr. Blue mean and irritable most days?

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
12:23 pm

Places I want to go in the US:

Seattle, San Francisco(done southern Cal alot already), New Mexico & Hawaii

Outside of the US:

Italy,Spain, really the entire Mediterranean region, London, Japan, Egypt, Bermuda

blue®

November 16th, 2010
12:26 pm

@ARed – LOL, exxxactly. i’ll send a box full of Gatorade, Ramen Noodles and pics from the kids, and stay stateside thank you very much…(those boxes were expensive as he!! tho, lol)
@Raqi – i wouldnt say most days and not mean, but irritable at times, oh yeah. weird question, lol, why?

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
12:28 pm

I admire that traveler about you, Amred. A lot of folks say they want to travel, but few actually do it. I mean, actually make it happen instead of waiting to win the lottery to be able to do it!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:31 pm

Kimmie, Spain and Italy are on my list as well as Israel.
In the US of A I plan to go to Vegas.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:32 pm

I am really afraid of military men. They are trained killers. Growing up I heard so many bad things about how they could snap at any given minute. I know the information I was being given came from a person that knew one that was crazy and another person knew one that snapped and beat his girlfriend nearly to death, but still they scare me.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:33 pm

Thanks kimmie, I appreciate that. Most of my travel is domestic though, so it doesn’t count. I did treat myself to a trip to Seattle though last November, it was great!

The only time I’ve left the country though is to got to Paris, Cancun and the Caribbean. I’d love to go more places, but I am wary of traveling as a single woman. And I really don’t have the money to do it right! Which is why I’ll probably hold off on Hawaii.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:35 pm

Oh yeah…I did just get back from Vegas huh? I do make sure I take at least a nice trip once a year, even if it is here in the states.

Last year I went a lot of places because I had to go to 6 weddings and none of them were here in Atlanta!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:37 pm

AmazonR, I agree with doing it right if you are going to do it. My husband agree that any place we go by plane outside of the US we will plan to be there for 2 weeks at the least. Being that those places are not somewhere you can jump in the car and drive to we will take our time and see the place.

Our short cruise to the caribbean doesn’t really count. LOL

blue®

November 16th, 2010
12:39 pm

@Raqi – i will say he’s special, not like anyone else ive been with. it took a lot of adjustment and education on certain things. military certainly had a profound effect on him, good and bad. i think it helped that we already knew each other b4 he went into the military, and that i had so many uncles already in to kind of be an example of what to expect. had one uncle specifically who was so much like mr.blue, also a Marine with the same skill assignment, that as the years have gone by gotta wonder if they knew each other, lol. marrying a military guy, imo, definitely not for everyone.
…for years after he got out, he’d take all the laundry i folded and refold them into perfect squares and insisted all his stuff be covered in starch…weird…

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
12:40 pm

Amred – I took advantage of my flying benefits as much as I could when I worked for an airline. But I was in grad school at the time and broke, so I didn’t get to do as much as I wanted. Even if you fly free, you still need room & board!

But there are great places in the US to see, so we should all try whenever we can. The only places out of the country I’ve been are Montreal, Canada, Mexico & the Carribean.

It’s really time for me to get to get to Europe & beyond!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:40 pm

I have heard that some of the gondola rides really aren’t that nice but I am still looking forward to taking one when we go to Italy.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:42 pm

My husband agree that any place we go by plane outside of the US we will plan to be there for 2 weeks at the least

Now that IS how you do it. Funny thing, after about 5 days or so, I’m ready to come home. But that’s probably because I start remembering how much it’s costing me to be in paradise! LOL

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:43 pm

he’d take all the laundry i folded and refold them

If for no other reason to marry a military man him doing laundry would be a good one. LOL

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:43 pm

for years after he got out, he’d take all the laundry i folded and refold them into perfect squares and insisted all his stuff be covered in starch…

:lol:

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:47 pm

kimmie – I feel you on not having the money to travel, even when the flight is free!

Does your s/o like to travel? I really look forward to traveling with a partner. Hopefully I’ll find one who is into it!

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
12:47 pm

Raqi – I am not really psyched about going to Venice, Italy as much as other parts. I’m looking more forward to Milan(shopping), Tuscany(food) and Rome(sight-seeing).

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
12:49 pm

Amred – Yes, fortunately he loves to travel and is looking forward to going to some of the places I want to go! His wife liked to travel too.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:50 pm

One of my girlfriends has a boyfriend who is a flight attendent so they fly free. He flew her to Venice and proposed on a gondola.

I asked her to keep an eye out for a pilot for me. :lol:

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:51 pm

AmazonRed, when we do go somewhere “big” (i.e. $$$$$) like that we will do so with the aid of a travel agent. We will have an itinerary rather than winging it the whole time. That way we will know the best places to visit and sights to see.

Maybe like and every other day type thing. One day we freestyle the next we go by recommendation.

And where we do go it would really help if the hotels are nice. LOL

We truly need to use these amex points before amex does away with them. It’s only a matter of time. It will save us a lot of money using them.
We used them on our last cruise and saved a couple thousand dollars on the cost. More than likely would not have taken that particular cruise line if we didn’t use the rewards.

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
12:51 pm

LOL @ you WillieD. After all this time, I gathered you drank it….good stuff, right???

@Sweet Pea ~ thank you. {smile}

Here’s the kicker…had to run to Wally World for toothpaste. Got a sample of their ranch wings and while walking was looking for a garbage can to discard the bone. I saw one to the left of me so I walked over to it. Lo and behold, I walked into the men’s room and two were standing there doing their thing…EWWWWWWWWWWWW. The teller yelled and laughed at me! My mind ain’t right today!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:52 pm

kimmie, Venice would only be for the gondola rides. You know growing up seeing it on television and how romantic it looked. LOL

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:54 pm

We truly need to use these amex points before amex does away with them. It’s only a matter of time

Oh yeah…please use those!

The only reservation I have about saving my miles is that tomorrow isn’t promised. I’m saving them all up and would hate to not have cashed them in cuz I wanted to “do it right!”

blue®

November 16th, 2010
12:54 pm

@Raqi/ARed – went from odd, to funny, to stop messing up my work!! lol. it has its down sides too, cant watch a military movie or anythign involving any kind of weapons without him crticizing technique, uniforms and firepower. sometimes i gotta be like “mr.potatoe head…you’re doing it again!”. those are the light sides of it, sure you can imagine the greyer areas…

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
12:56 pm

I asked her to keep an eye out for a pilot for me

My friend Deni dated a guy that worked for Delta and she got to fly free as his spouse all the time. The only deal was she had to fly standby a lot times but that was fine with her. She got pretty decent seats and got to go a lot of places at no travel costs.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
12:58 pm

@Raqi – Yes, my friend has to go EVERYwhere stand by. She was going to come on our trip to Vegas that way too. And because he’s working she’s sometimes only there for a day! She went to Egypt for 2 days, she was in Venice for like 40 hours! Enough to get engaged and then come back home. :lol: So there are definitely downsides.

Simple Man!!!! Standing on the sidelines......Watching.....

November 16th, 2010
12:59 pm

Is that a hint???

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
1:01 pm

:lol: Subtlety is not my strong point. Take me somewhere, fool! j/k :lol:

Melo!!

November 16th, 2010
1:03 pm

U don’t want a pilot Ared…I shuttled pilots onetime when I was broke..

some of the most rotated,girlfriend GPS spacing playas ull ever find.

and they all seemed to have a side hustle,to make cash-flow coz those lil Msises need maintenance!

Simple Man!!!! Standing on the sidelines......Watching.....

November 16th, 2010
1:04 pm

Pick a place and date….