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Dating warning signs: Wake up to the break-up

Have you ever dated someone and thought things were going great and then out of nowhere they dump you? It’s probably not so much “out of nowhere” but because you weren’t paying attention, it felt that way. I have been there before and that whole “hindsight is 20/20″ thing came into play. There were signs and I didn’t see them.

If you aren’t the type to fight, break up, make up ..rinse/repeat, then you may end up in these situations when you couldn’t see the expiration date on your relationship. When think about a break-up you went through, did you see the beginning of the end? What were your warning signs that it was OVER?

If you figure out things are headed to splitsville, would you try to put things back on track before it all comes undone? When do you know that it’s not worth fixing? How do you figure out if it’s worth fighting for?

Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

324 comments Add your comment

Kym

November 16th, 2010
10:24 am

@Leggs you just won 500 smackers..that is wonderful! That is 500 more than what you had when you started out this morning.

I am whatever you say I am

November 16th, 2010
10:25 am

Yes Blue!! We are <<<<<>>>>> I also like the extra cherries.
Are you my sister from another mother?

blue®

November 16th, 2010
10:26 am

@Leggs – oooh, that stings a little (huggs)
@cz – seriously? wow, ok. well first time we’ve gotten this far, so we’ll see what the process is. he’s not as far behind as that, but doesnt mean it wouldnt help. now their saying im not obligated to attend the hearing but would be in my best interest…hmmmm….to go or not to go, that is the question….
@evy – thanx…and im with, woulda had to have cz’s pal “seen” to…lol

SexyCool

November 16th, 2010
10:27 am

Are you taping it today?

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:27 am

@evy/blue ~ both of you are loveably CRAZY!!!!

blue®

November 16th, 2010
10:28 am

random: Yo Yo Ma, India Arie, and Carlos Santana collaborating – good stuff…im stuck on repeat now…wanna play air guitar, but doubt that would fly well here…..

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:29 am

@SexyC ~ I’ve been taping it everyday since September and taking notes afterwork. Since September, but didn’t take my notes last night!!! That’s what stings! I’ll play it for her this evening, then I will duck cuz she may try to throw something at me!

I am whatever you say I am

November 16th, 2010
10:30 am

When you are no longer the apple in their eye… a break up is inevitable.

Evy…um you are responsible for Fred. Didn’t you see the responsiblity clause in the court documents attached to his satchel?

Kym

November 16th, 2010
10:30 am

@blue are you serious…I bet that is a beautiful collaboration..I love a man who can play the guitar..

SexyCool

November 16th, 2010
10:30 am

How long have you been on the list for them to call?

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
10:30 am

I have never had the breakup of a serious relationship surprise me but there were a couple of guys that I was talking to and just starting to go out with that ended abruptly. As in, they stopped calling without warning. And there are a few guys that I did the same to.

But hey that’s how the cookie crumbles.

With the Nature Guy I saw that coming to an end several months before I actually ended it. I stayed way longer than I should have. The relationship was becoming very tiresome to me.

Sassy Me..Onward and Upward :-)

November 16th, 2010
10:31 am

Awww Leggs sorry to hear that :-(

dayum….dayum….DAYUM!!(said in my Florida Evans voice)

SexyCool

November 16th, 2010
10:31 am

Oh…well…I see. LOL!
Bless ya’ heart, baby….

Kym

November 16th, 2010
10:32 am

Random Thought not that anyone else if a fan of the Royals..but Congrats Prince William on your engagement.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
10:33 am

LOL SexyCool, just reading ‘How long have you been on the list for them to call?’ I could hear the wheels in your head turning.

blue®

November 16th, 2010
10:33 am

@i am – great minds think alike ;)
@Leggs – whatdi do now?
@Kym – yep, from Santana’s new album “Guitar Heaven”, called While My Guitar Gently Weeps….makes you wanna get out of your chair and move….they performed it live when we went to the concert on my bday, took a 6 minute song and made it 20 minutes, with India dancing around the stage! it was awesome!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
10:33 am

Leggs, I tried to send you a hug twice but it seems they are caught in the filter. LOL

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:33 am

@SexyC ~ since September. You can go to http://www.livewithRegisandkelly.com and enter the Trivia contest. This month they’re looking for Christmas pics. I sent in a pic of myself dress as an elf with my elf shoes on. Bah Humbug!!

kimmie

November 16th, 2010
10:35 am

Sorry bout that Leggs! Huggs!!

evy

November 16th, 2010
10:37 am

@ leggs: leggs, dahlin! $500 – congrats! sorry bout hawaii…but, according to popular science, it should be there for awhile yet – meantime, enjoy your win! (you will buy me a present, right? i am partial to turtle soup. hot. with lemon.)

@ i am: whoa, now, jes a-holt on there! i ain’t see nuthin, i ain’t sign nuthin – i don’t have to, i don’t want to – YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

Sweet Pea

November 16th, 2010
10:40 am

Did you see the beginning of the end?

No as the first impression and actions appeared to be strong, however once the rep started unraveling the real person I started to see the signs.

What were your warning signs that it was OVER?

If you have discernment that something is different be it physical, communication, and/or a person’s actions you can see the writing on the wall.

Would you try to put things back on track before it all comes undone?

I would attempt to discuss what I am feeling to see if the other half is feeling the same to determine where we are going and if it’s something that can be repaired.

When do you know that it’s not worth fixing?

If no effort is put into making it work after the discussion then it’s time to cut your losses as it’s no longer salvageable. There is no need to hold on to someone that is not giving you the same in return…there is no substance

evy

November 16th, 2010
10:41 am

@ kym: yep, guitar definitely a plus…

@ blue: i saw that concert, too – was most wondermous!

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:41 am

LOL at turtle soup, hot w/lemon…gross!

blue®

November 16th, 2010
10:41 am

@Leggs – since you have a Christmas costume already, you going to the Santa Pub Crawl with us? http://www.atlantasantapubcrawl.com/

evy

November 16th, 2010
10:44 am

@ leggs: delicious and nutritious – tastes just like chicken, lol! well, that’s what i hear, anyway…oh, alright – i will settle for a shrubbery. :)
p.s. -you’ve got mail

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:45 am

@blue ~ the pic I sent it was taken 10 years ago. I ain’t that skinny anymore (LOL). To go with you, I’d need a bigger costume!

SexyCool

November 16th, 2010
10:45 am

Rock – I know, right?!?!? Because really, most days, I’m still at home when they call the contestant. I could very easily set my Tivo for a Season Pass. The only thing would be me actually watching the broadcast when I got home in the evenings.

Willie Dynamite

November 16th, 2010
10:47 am

Morning All,

Leggs – Congrats and awww all at the same time. I would give you a hug but you prolly got pink eye again. hahaha

On Topic – Only experienced 1 breakup that I didnt initiate or see coming. This was the one that got away. ol girl was a bonafide keeper. I had her (thought) wrapped up and on the shelf. I was still doing my thang outside of the relationship and took alot of things for granted. Needless to say I had a buddy (p.a.n.) that was I thought a road dog right along side me. Come to find out he was feeding her all the dirt I was doing all the while cozying up to her. When it hit the fan all I could do was chalk it up to the game. I learned a few valuable lessons that I really already knew but served as a reminder to read the fine print. For awhile after that I was the one giving the hooks left and right.

evy

November 16th, 2010
10:50 am

random: luminol can pick up blood trace after 112 years…

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:52 am

@SexyC ~ exactly. I took notes every night for 2 months, but didn’t last night cuz I was busy doing other things…Phooey. Go for it, it’s very easy to enter the contests. Usually a new category every 1.5 months.

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
10:54 am

@WillieD ~ :lol: :lol: Pink eye is GONE! WOO HOO!

blue®

November 16th, 2010
10:55 am

@Leggs – well get a bigger costume then! or wear that one ;) , you may run into an Abominable Snowman who just loves Elves!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
10:55 am

What about “Wake Up to the Make Up”? LOL

Willie Dynamite

November 16th, 2010
10:58 am

Leggs – If thats the case then come here and take this hug and then buy us a drink or three.

missy

November 16th, 2010
10:58 am

When do you know that it’s not worth fixing?

When you innocently google his name to find out he’s married…then has the balls to lie about it…yep…pretty much not worth fixing!!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
10:58 am

I am here every day and could watch but that show has never been a favorite of mine. Really once the news goes off at 7am I turn the television off.

I do sometimes watch a show that I taped earlier or will find a rerun worth seeing but other than that if the little lady is not watching something the tube is off.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
11:03 am

When do you know that it’s not worth fixing? I missed that question.

IMO it’s never worth trying to fix when you keep finding yourself at the same place having the same arguments about the same thing. That’s a sign that you are not growing in the relationship and it’s possible that the problem that keeps rearing its head is the hindrance. If that problem cannot be fixed then the relationship will always be broken.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:04 am

Morning all –

I can say my last break up kind of blind sided me…even though I am the one who broke it off. Things were going well, but clearly we were moving in different directions. I got intro’d to the family, then started getting phased out during gatherings. So yeah, the writing was on the wall, but it didn’t make me feel better about things!

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
11:06 am

@Raqi ~ they do give away very nice trips.

Leggs

November 16th, 2010
11:06 am

@WillieD ~ when the funds come in, you’re on!

Blackfoote II

November 16th, 2010
11:07 am

Hey:

Leggs:

Didn’t I give you the answer before I left for Nashville? Hawaii would have been fun and I’m here looking outside at a rainstorm.

Blackfoote

November 16th, 2010
11:08 am

evy:

Hi lady you work at NCIS right.

AmazonRed™

November 16th, 2010
11:11 am

Dang…sorry about that Leggs! $500 can help dry those tears.

I booked a trip to Hawaii in January during the Pro Bowl. I don’t know if I’m actually going to go tho, I should use that money for other things!

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
11:11 am

I knew there was something I wanted to say on this board.

Last night I was watching Mike and Molly. The ‘couple’ was at the support group meeting when a new participate walked up and started talking to Mike. Mike introduced Molly (the woman he has been having a relationship with for a while) as “my friend Molly”. The new woman in the group from there proceeded to admire Mike and offered her number to him right there in his girlfriend’s face. The woman was innocent because she didn’t know the nature of the relationship of the two because he said “friend”.

It caused all kinds of problems for them and took my mind back to the many discussions we have had on her about the proper way to introduce the person you are in a relationship with.

Willie Dynamite

November 16th, 2010
11:12 am

Leggs – now you know I cant let you do that. Heyal, i think i still owe you some B-day NaVan from last yr that i craked open and kept for myself. Promise I’ll make it up this yr.

Blackfoote

November 16th, 2010
11:12 am

Is it raining today in the A?

evy

November 16th, 2010
11:14 am

hiya, blackfoote!

i’m sorry, that’s classified…

(speaking into 2way ‘dick tracy’ special) alright, guys – get some surveillance on this one, he’s askin questions…

Kym

November 16th, 2010
11:18 am

Off Topic-Vent

Dear Dumb Azz Robbers..College Kids do not have money..so why keep breaking in and robbing these kids for the cellphones their parents pay for or a laptop that they are using for their education…this foolishlessness really has to end!

Grace

November 16th, 2010
11:23 am

I was just there last month. And the honest truth is, even when I look back over the year we dated exclusively, I still don’t see it. Things were GREAT in the relationship! I thought we were on the same page, and then I was blindsided. Go figure.

Raqi V

November 16th, 2010
11:23 am

When we were in Hawaii I (by mistake) saw the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen in my life. If you get to go Leggs and AmazonR, be sure to get up early enough one day to watch the sunrise. Just gorgeous I tell ya.