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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The waiting game

If you ask a guy how long he waited to “seal the deal” with his girlfriend and you are likely to get a very precise answer. Apparently, the waiting game is one of the few games that men look forward to losing.

Anticipating when someone is ready to take the next step can require a lot of patience. I would argue that it can become distracting to some people to the point that it’s all they ever focus on. A lot of times it can take away from the “exploration phase” of getting to know someone.

I think women may be able to contend with the waiting game a little better then men, although it’s tough on us too! How do you handle the waiting game? Do you bring it up at all or pretend the sexual tension isn’t there?

Do you think the longer the wait is, the better your chances are to have a stronger connection? Does that make a difference when you want something really meaningful?

What’s the longest you have waited to seal the deal?
(Question Disclaimer: I personally didn’t want to ask this question but my friend Eric was curious about the responses since he gave me the topic idea. You’re welcome)

473 comments Add your comment

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
1:06 pm

@ARed~I’m tired too! I think it’s called BALANCE…you can work on your issues while maintaining a relationship that’s if you acknowledge you have issues as some people don’t and want to point fingers at you.

If you can’t balance/multi-task then you need to remain alone and don’t involve other people where feelings develops then they are as a result of your crap.

Good People I’m out!!! Have great day ;)

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
1:09 pm

Well…I am back in for correction: I am human!!! LOL

If you can’t balance/multi-task then you need to remain alone and don’t involve other people where feelings develop, and as result someone gets hurt because of your crap!!

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:09 pm

thanks for the input ladies…i think you can date and have issues,its up to the other person whether they want to deal with and see u through the issues. I commend him for being honest..but i do think he is holding his own self back ..its sad cuz he is a great guy otherwise.

Kym

November 11th, 2010
1:10 pm

Jokes of the Day!–as stolen from the Onion.

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by “A B C D E F “?

A – almost gone

B – barely noticeable

C – comfortable

D – damn good

E – extremely big

F – Fake

Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

Student wrote: “My God! I’m pregnant. I wonder who the father is?”

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
1:13 pm

@Baffled~I hope it works out for you if you decide it’s worth working through. Like Madear say, Just WATCH and guard your heart as well!

Zulu!

November 11th, 2010
1:13 pm

If a guy lies that he has trust issues,he is basically asking u to put that coochie on a long leash.
At some point,after he has banged enough,hes gon step.

I pity u ladies, but thatts how the game is played.

Happy Veterans Day..shame on ur uall bosses for asking u to work today!

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2010
1:18 pm

but one-on-one interaction with a woman, they are stumbling idiots!
kimmie I’d like to think I’m no lamo, but I’ve definitely been the bumbling dude before, kicking myself afterward. Some of ya’ll have that affect on us…dang I mean Effect…see what I mean? ;-)

Dreams, I was thinking the same….why not conjugal visits…
2C another side of the discussion might be whether the state can force them to use protection during conjugal visits? If not, then who’s gonna support those babies conceived during the visits…surely not the pops in prison.

Dreams: Son you are late with my drink!
I am hey hey hey, settle down ma. I give drinks as a means to weaken defenses calm the nerves, but you’re sounding belligerent. Are you sure you can handle another? If so, I got lots more where that came from. ;-)

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:22 pm

@Sweet Pea..i don’t know what im going to do.. i date others but he is the one i have the best connection with we are compatible…so idk

@zulu!..so you think all men run game?

AmazonRed™

November 11th, 2010
1:25 pm

Baffled – Have you slept with him yet?

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2010
1:26 pm

Baffled It depends on your situation. Sometimes you meet a wonderful person when you really weren’t looking for a relationship at all. You know that person has some issues, but you all really connect. What are you to do?

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:28 pm

@amazonred-yes

SexyCool

November 11th, 2010
1:29 pm

Did the information about trust issues come out before or after?

czBrat

November 11th, 2010
1:29 pm

Baffled, i can say from personal experience that all of the issues i called myself working through during my single years, i could not possibly have learned what was truly unresolved until i was forced to face it in that moment in the relationship. in my case, control issues and an (apparent) indifference toward commitment. i could have gone my whole life believing i love being independent and in control. it took being with someone like s/o to realize it’s ok (good even) to let a man lead me.

so, i guess what i’m saying is that sometimes you do find yourself in a situation where one or both have unresolved issues. maybe you were fully aware of that going into the relationship, or perhaps you realized it along the way. it’s only a dealbreaker if you just don’t feel like dealing with it. otherwise, it’s growth.

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:31 pm

@dreamsmaterialze…that is this situation…he definitely was unexpected. I mean i enjoy dating, but ultimely i want a committed relationshop. I just hate when guys let the opportunity for some great pass them by.

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:32 pm

@sexycool- before, i knew what i was getting into…i think its much deeper than i initially thought.

Zulu!

November 11th, 2010
1:34 pm

@Baffled?

so i think all men run game…see this is where uall women get get.

If your man had no game what so ever, u wldnt even have confusion in ur head coz he wld break it down to ur satisfaction.

u are a girl right?..i assume…

he has no desire for anything serious or longterm..hes using u more or less like what a trucker does to a truck stop……get some place(woman) quiet, soft and tender,clear the head and then move on when hes feeling better.

How du u like being a truck stop?

AmazonRed™

November 11th, 2010
1:35 pm

Baffled – We’ve been there, at least I have. Dudes in my past with unresolved issues due to the one who broke their heart, or due to their divorce. There are plenty of guys out there who want a committed relationship and will state that plainly. I don’t know how long you’ve known your guy, but if he’s not really warming up yet, I’d take that as a sign that things won’t go the way you want them to.

I Want My Girlfriend Back

November 11th, 2010
1:35 pm

What should you do if you get dumped? How about start a blog detail to the world how you plan to get your girlfriend back: http://iwantmygirlfriendback.blogspot.com/

SexyCool

November 11th, 2010
1:36 pm

Well….in that case….you can’t say you didn’t know what program you were signing up for.

I will say this…if you want a committed relationship….and he does not, for WHATever reason, you have a choice to make – stay in a situation where you are not getting what you want…and *hope* for a change of heart…or…ease on down the road.

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:37 pm

@cbrat for sharing that…i do hope even if a relationship doesnt develop, I have shown him he can trust. and that not all women play games, or lie. he has to be the change he wants to see!
If you want trust, you have to give trust

I Want My Girlfriend Back

November 11th, 2010
1:40 pm

The longest I’ve waited to seal the deal is four hours. And that one was a stretch.

Blackfoote

November 11th, 2010
1:41 pm

ZULU:

A truck stop……….LOL you have an analogy for everything on the planet……..LOL

SexyCool

November 11th, 2010
1:42 pm

And…if these were my feet that were in those shoes…I would pull up some. Give him some space and an opportunity to step up and make some decisions.

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:45 pm

Lately I have been easing on down the road..thats a good one. I am at a point of decision. He has to see it, I’m sure we will remain friends, i have no ill will towards him.
Sometimes we block our own blessing!

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2010
1:46 pm

How du u like being a truck stop?
Zulu reason, season, lifetime. sometimes you have to recognize when you’re seasonal to someone else.

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
1:47 pm

@sexycool- thats what i have been leaning towards. cuz even good guys have issues.

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2010
1:50 pm

Lately I have been easing on down the road..
Baffled no need in depriving yourself of joy. matter of fact, come and hang out with me while he makes up his mind. let him take all the time he wants. ;-)

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
1:51 pm

@Baffled ~ I ate entirely too much for lunch. I feel like a bloated pig!!

@Baffled ~ why be baffled? Why even put yourself or whoever it may be into such a position of uncertainty and, as Zulu would say, angst. That’s what’s wrong with a lot of women…THEY DON’T LISTEN. He told you UPFRONT he has trust issues. That should tell you, you will not be able to appease him into being comfortable enough with you to fully trust you. SO, why are you waiting on him to commitment? I would say you’d be waiting until a black man becomes President but since we’ve achieved that, you’ll be waiting until the moon turns magenta!

Zulu!

November 11th, 2010
1:51 pm

I am sure we will remain friends……

Daaamn..hes kicking it good,aint he?

Blackfoote

November 11th, 2010
1:56 pm

Leggs:

Just made me hungry and I got nine hours to go and no lunch or dinner just a football game to watch.

SexyCool

November 11th, 2010
1:57 pm

I have used that line in the past. But from my standpoint, it was more like, “I ain’t gone believe sht you say ’cause the last lied and you gon’ lie too. Yo’ ass is gon’ have to walk across fire before I trust you.”

Not realizing that I was way too damaged and not enough healed to visit that madness on anyone.

Then I got to a point where I would say, “I will believe what you tell me until I believe that I can trust you.” Progress……

With TheDude, from Day One, I committed myself to trusting who he said he was, while getting to know who he showed himself to be.

czB – head nod. (I am so flawed. LOL!)

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:01 pm

@Blackfoote, then I better not tell you what I had for lunch. Why didn’t you bring any food/snacks with you to work?

Baffled

November 11th, 2010
2:03 pm

@Leggs, i will say i agree with you, i did know what i getting into..all i can say is some people are worth the risk…i took a chance and it just hasn’t paned out. is that what we all go through, till the M-word.

@zulu i don’t know your deal, but friends as in just friends, no sex. we have haven’t done it lately

@dreams-how you doin?

Blackfoote

November 11th, 2010
2:04 pm

Leggs:

Please don’t say rib-eye…….I ate everything for breakfast now I must pay for that.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
2:06 pm

Thanks Dreams! Eh….you got any menu’s behind the bar for sushi?

Blackfoote

November 11th, 2010
2:10 pm

Damn I shouldn’t have said rib-eye my mouth is drooling for a Ruth Chris.

Zulu!

November 11th, 2010
2:11 pm

@Baffled?

wld he be the type of friend u allow to come over to watch a movie with u at ur crib and he may bring u a bottle of chardonnay…as a special friend?……

good girl!

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:12 pm

“…all i can say is some people are worth the risk…”

I understand that statement, Baffled. But honestly, when we tell ourselves that, it usually isn’t worth the risk. If we start believing our own hype, we wouldn’t hurt as much.

@Blackfoote ~ ok, I won’t say anything!

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:13 pm

If we STOP believing our own hype….

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
2:17 pm

Sup Melo!
how have you been love?

SlimNumeroUno

November 11th, 2010
2:17 pm

omg…bad case of the itis…turkey, dressing, sweet potato soufflee, green bean casserole, potato salad, pasta salad, collards, deviled eggs…and can’t leave off the desert.

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:19 pm

@SlimNU ~ did you go to Piccadilly for lunch???

czBrat

November 11th, 2010
2:20 pm

i completely agree with “reason, season or lifetime”. also, be careful what you pray for ……
fact is, any one of us might pray for someone honest, trustworthy, spontaneous, wealthy, etc. what will we do if we actually get what we pray for? the fact that Baffled’s guy does not quite know what to do with a trustworthy woman doesn’t automatically mean he’s a lost cause.

kimmie

November 11th, 2010
2:21 pm

Baffled – He’s not blocking his “blessing” if he doesn’t see you as a blessing!

I hate to be negative, but this is the very type of dude that will work thru his “issues” with you for however long you put up with it and then go meet some other lady the next week and propose to her within a few months.

Like I quoted yesterday: go rehabilitate with someone else! He might be a nice guy, just not nice for you at this time.

Tangie

November 11th, 2010
2:25 pm

We are all grown ups, but I would rather get to know somebody before I take that step. I would like to find out what we have in common besides sex. You never know they (woman or man)could be really crazy.

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:26 pm

Although the title infers something else, Baffled is beginning to wake up from playing her own form of the “waiting game.”

SlimNumeroUno

November 11th, 2010
2:26 pm

Leggs – No, we had our Employee Thanksgiving Luncheon today since many folks will be taking off within the next week for the holiday. I heard gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins and now I feel like i’m being punished for committing it. Stick a fork in me because I am DONE, DONE, DONE! (I look like a little Ethiopian or Somalian kid…slim with the pot belly) :shock:

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
2:28 pm

Slim: Don’t come back to the blog till you make me a plate :lol:

Zulu!

November 11th, 2010
2:30 pm

whats up I am?

now lemme go watch some Italian soccer……
and Ill be on the VIP seats,watching the falcons tonite…..on my couch.

have a great day guys!

Leggs

November 11th, 2010
2:31 pm

Well, SlimNU ~ you can join me in the corner cuz that’s how I feel as well. Yet, as full as I am, I want a nice cold glass of water!