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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The waiting game

If you ask a guy how long he waited to “seal the deal” with his girlfriend and you are likely to get a very precise answer. Apparently, the waiting game is one of the few games that men look forward to losing.

Anticipating when someone is ready to take the next step can require a lot of patience. I would argue that it can become distracting to some people to the point that it’s all they ever focus on. A lot of times it can take away from the “exploration phase” of getting to know someone.

I think women may be able to contend with the waiting game a little better then men, although it’s tough on us too! How do you handle the waiting game? Do you bring it up at all or pretend the sexual tension isn’t there?

Do you think the longer the wait is, the better your chances are to have a stronger connection? Does that make a difference when you want something really meaningful?

What’s the longest you have waited to seal the deal?
(Question Disclaimer: I personally didn’t want to ask this question but my friend Eric was curious about the responses since he gave me the topic idea. You’re welcome)

473 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

November 11th, 2010
10:09 am

I mean really most guys who are just trying to hit it will be out after 2 or 3 dates.. the dudes who stick around after that are either interested in getting to know you…or they are just determined to do any and everything to get your goods, those type of dudes will hang around for years waiting to get some action from you.

I once dated a young lady (for a couple years) who had a male friend who I spotted early on as just hanging around waiting to get a chance, but she said that I was wrong because no man would hang around for years trying to hit it. I think it was 3 months after we broke up she said he propositioned her for sex.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:09 am

oh okay! There’s my post. Blog must not like the tag I had in my name

Delight: Thank you for that musical interlude :lol:

Simple dude: Working from home tomorrow weekend starts now!taking it mad crazy easy tomorrow if you want to call it work

East Point's Own

November 11th, 2010
10:10 am

@I am whatever you say I am Now you see how I felt this morning…LoL welcome to the club

@ajc turn down the darn filter on the blog… or put up a 21+ disclaimer for this here blog. sheesh…

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:11 am

Amred – In my experience, those that didn’t get “chosen” revealed their doucheness early on. It did not take it 30 days, much less 60 or 90! No need to waste each other’s time!

kimmie – True that. But sometimes, it does take longer to find out people’s true intentions. You might not find out in 30 days that someone doesn’t want kids, because it’s so soon, but 6 months later, when things can’t be called “casual” you’ll start finding out all types of things. :lol:

Leggs ™

November 11th, 2010
10:13 am

@EPO ~ true “diehard” will stick around, waiting in the wings for years/decades. I know firsthand!

Raqi V

November 11th, 2010
10:14 am

My opinion about the 30/60/90 days rule is it’s just a baseline (that’s really not the word I am looking for) that some women work with. But that doesn’t mean should she feel compelled to do so she will not give it because of a rule, she will do whatever pleases her.

She may regret it or she may ask for more but it’s her choice.

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2010
10:14 am

A dude can out-wait you when it comes to the puddy. If that’s all he’s after, he can play whatever role he thinks you want him to play until you give it up. What do you all think all those male “friends” have been doing all these years?

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:17 am

I try to put it a limit on when I will do the deed just so I can get to know the person better. but I don’t have a set time limit. I go by, when I feel comfortable at being intimitate that’s when it happens. YOu can’t really put a time limit though. 30/60/90 day rule whatever. If a guy knows that you are waiting for the 90 day mark he will act accordingly just to get some if that is his only goal and then once he gets it he’s out.
Sometimes I feel that if you are attracted to someone, and you are both feeling each other like that, go ahead and do the deed , get it out of the way so that there is no pressure….the real test is how does someone treat you after you’ve given it up. If you give it up and dude is there for the long haul-he’s a good dude. If you give it up and dude only comes around you for sex- you’ve found a dog.
Some people you just click with and you are able to find out a lot about them in a short time frame and other people it may take longer.
Bottom line whether you do the deed early or not SEX spells S.E.X. It does not spell I.O.U

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:17 am

What do you all think all those male “friends” have been doing all these years?

:?

Well, clearly we women can outwait the men, if they never get it.

kimmie

November 11th, 2010
10:22 am

You might not find out in 30 days that someone doesn’t want kids, because it’s so soon, but 6 months later, when things can’t be called “casual” you’ll start finding out all types of things.

Amred – Now when that happens, it can be truly heartbreaking! Got experience with that too!

I am whatever you say I am ( My birthday is Sunday!) Scorpios reign

November 11th, 2010
10:22 am

Dreams: I’m how would you say…..feelin frisky for lack of a better word.
So, to help me get over that, open up the blog bar and pour me up a Bacardi and coke. Make mine a double please

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:23 am

Sometimes I feel that if you are attracted to someone, and you are both feeling each other like that, go ahead and do the deed , get it out of the way so that there is no pressure

:shock:

That’s good advice for those who don’t value themselves or know their worth.

Pressure is a state of mind. Human nature will tell you there will be plenty of people who you’ll be attracted to, doesn’t mean they get to have sex with you.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:24 am

My birthday is Sunday! Scorpios reign!!! :lol:

Dreams: Since we are on this topic, I’m feeling a bit frisky (for lack of a better word) which is not a good feeling because A) I’m at work and B) I’m still single

So to help me through this, open up the blog bar and pour me up a Bacardi and coke. Better make it a double.

kimmie

November 11th, 2010
10:26 am

I Am – Your 10:17, I like. Like you, I go by when I feel comfortable. Some have been able to make me feel comfortable quicker than others.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:27 am

Ared: it has nothing to do with self worth.
If you are comfortable with yourself and you want to do it , just do it!
Sex is Sex
It does not define who you are.
I’m not saying you have to give it up to everybody that you meet but sometimes you get fortunate where you are really able to meet someone that is geniune and you have a strong connect with them .
What’s the point of holding out for 90 days but you don’t know anymore about this person than you did day 1?
Quality over Quanitity is basically what I mean now that I have broken it down Barney style for you

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:27 am

Yep kimmie WE are <<>>> there!

kimmie

November 11th, 2010
10:28 am

I Am – Now I don’t like the part of your post about doing it to get it out of the way. Makes it seem like a chore rather than the special expression it should be.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:29 am

“…… true “diehard” will stick around, waiting in the wings for years/decades. I know firsthand……..”

Yep I agree….I have that experience currently going on.
I think I’ll give him a chance when I am 70 in a nursing home.

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
10:30 am

@Leggs 10:13……Hilarious!!!!!

Raqi V

November 11th, 2010
10:31 am

A dude can out-wait you when it comes to the puddy.

DreamsMat, but does he wait without any other side action? 95% can’t.
A woman can wait and wait and wait without anything else going on but you men will find something on the side while hoping the woman believes you are in waiting. Like you said he can ‘play the role’ which means what he is allowing or wanting the woman to believe. But what he is actually doing when not in her presence is getting his needs met with someone else.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:33 am

Kimmie: I don’t mean it to sound as a chore.
What I mean is you are really feeling this guy, but your calendar is saying hold out you have X amount of days to go.
I’m saying is that if this person has should you a lot about themselves and your intuition tells you you can trust them stop looking at the calendar and go ahead, do it. But do it because you are comfortable, do it because YOU want to and do it when YOU.

Women make a mistake by thinking if I make him wait I will get my relationship. It doesn’t work that way. Sex is only sex.
That is why some guys can be committed with one girl and cheat on her the nextt. Yeah he may love his girl but the cheating was just sex to him. It fulfilled a need that he had for the moment. Kinda like a transaction if you will. Now, I don’t condone cheating. It’s just how it is with some people.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:34 am

typo: Meant to say do it when you want to

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
10:35 am

Ladies, did the men disappear? or have they decided to lurk here on out???

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:35 am

Sweet Pea: I am asking myself the same as I wait for Dreams to make my drink drank :evil:

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:38 am

I am – If you are having sex with someone to “take the pressure off” it has EVERYthing to do with self-worth!

People who are discerning don’t need to sleep with someone, and HOPE the guy they slept with will still come around.

Leggs ™

November 11th, 2010
10:39 am

@Raqi ~ of course he’s waiting but has side action…he just wants to conquer that particular “patch.”

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:40 am

Ared: you are really stupid. I am not even going to go further this with you.
You have no idea what I mean. But you know it all right!?!?

Leggs ™

November 11th, 2010
10:40 am

@Raqi ~ reading is fundamental. I didn’t read your entire post.

Sweet Pea

November 11th, 2010
10:41 am

Yeah…they threw the DEUCES up so it looks like we have to bring on the drinks and toast!!! LOL Where are they when you need em!

Willie Dynamite

November 11th, 2010
10:42 am

Ladies the Men didn’t disappear. Just not a whole lot to add to the topic. We see it as part of the game. Your personal reason/explanation does not change the playbook on our end.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:42 am

Sweat Pea: well in that case pour up a shot of Patron in addition to the Bacardi of Coke

Delight23

November 11th, 2010
10:42 am

“Sex is only sex.”

To those that only see it as such. Busting a nut entails more than the phsycial for moi. My big head rules the little man in the boat. :-)

Weird analogy, but I don’t have a little head so..

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:43 am

Ared: you are really stupid. I am not even going to go further this with you.
You have no idea what I mean. But you know it all right!?!?

Sounds like you’re the stupid one if you have to resort to name calling because you can’t handle simple discussion.

Take your ball and go home then if you can’t take opinions different than yours. :) :arrow:

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:43 am

Ared : F you and your family

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:46 am

To those that only see it as such. Busting a nut entails more than the phsycial for moi. My big head rules the little man in the boat

Girl…please get that said.

But it’s interesting to get insight in to the ways of loose women. :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:46 am

Delight: there is a yiddish saying that goes when the cock get hard the brain get weak :lol:

Leggs ™

November 11th, 2010
10:46 am

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:46 am

Ared : F you and your family

Yeah, you’d probably do that too to get the “pressure off”

I’ll pass tho. :D

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:47 am

Ared: yeah continue getting insight from your loose momma.

Kym

November 11th, 2010
10:47 am

I am watching I Dream of Jeannie..she just cast a spell to get Tony to fall in love and ask to marry her. I just had a thought is there one guy in my past or present who I would put the roots on to be with? Hmmmmm

Delight23

November 11th, 2010
10:47 am

“I think I’ll give him a chance when I am 70 in a nursing home.”

A’ight. Mess around and break a hip. By then we’ll have Viagra 2.1. :P

Leggs ™

November 11th, 2010
10:47 am

@I am ~ there’s no need for any of that. You don’t know her to even begin to diss her family. Let’s be nice!

AmazonRed™ - The nephew is TWO today!

November 11th, 2010
10:48 am

Ared: yeah continue getting insight from your loose momma.

My momma ain’t loose, but apparently your mouth is. :lol:

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:48 am

Leggs: I’ve had it with Ared.
She has done nothing but disrespect me ever since I first came up on this blog.
So yeah,….F her and her family.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:49 am

ALOL @ Delight!

Delight23

November 11th, 2010
10:50 am

Delight: there is a yiddish saying that goes when the cock get hard the brain get weak.

Physiologically speaking there is an actual reduction in blood flow to the brain…I guess mine just adapts too quickly to be “fooled” into giving up control. :mrgreen:

Willie Dynamite

November 11th, 2010
10:50 am

ahhhh just like the old days. Not even 11 yet. Goodell should be stepping in about 5,4,3,2…..

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:51 am

Oh My! Mrs. Winners is filing bankruptcy :shock:
I love their chicken strips, mac and cheese.

I am whatever you say I am

November 11th, 2010
10:52 am

LOL Delight!!! :mrgreen:

Kym

November 11th, 2010
10:52 am

Sex is mostly mental.