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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Should you marry your best friend?

I met a really wonderful woman on my business trip this week. She had been married for 20 years and said that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. It was obviously a great source of pain for her but when she talked about possibly losing her best friend, I nearly started to cry!

She said that the best part of their marriage was the fact that they are so close. They have been best friends and she believes the dynamics of their marriage was strengthened by this. Well, it made me think that marrying your best friend makes a lot of sense.

My best friend is a woman and is already married with kids. I already asked if she wanted to marry me but she won’t budge. However, I can picture falling in love with a man and we become best friends, though. I’m curious about how this all works in a marriage. For instance, if I want to vent to my best friend how my man is driving me nuts and I want to plot his demise. It could get awkward!

Seriously, though what happens when your significant other is your best friend? Would it work out better for the relationship? Can the friend dynamic of a dating relationship ever backfire in some way?

359 comments Add your comment

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
1:46 pm

Zulu!: :?: I dont have to pluck my friends. What’s the confusion? His wang is not sanitized enough for my special lady parts.

However, he would give me the shirt off his back, helped me move, drove me to the airport, gone to Falcon’s games together (1-on-1 and groups), quick to call to pass along hook-up. YES HE IS A FRIEND. I love all of him, even his dirty boy parts, because that’s how the package comes.

If the only interaction we had involved the swapping of sexual escapades, we would not be friends, that’s one-dimensional and boring…we have different definition of “friend” perhaps?

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
1:46 pm

LMAO. Preach kimmie.

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
1:47 pm

And in that vein. Ladies, and gentlemen I guess, would you be down to date a person who has a newborn baby? Like under six months old?

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
1:48 pm

I love all of him, even his dirty boy parts

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 10th, 2010
1:49 pm

SCool – I thought your project was great and may try it myself. Hmmmm…..

Delight – I like some of Carol’s Daughter’s products as a newbie to natural hair. Mostly the styling aids, Im NOT a fan of the shampoos though. Its also great on Lil Mo’s hair.

And I could seriously use a nap right now! DAYUM!

DreamsMaterialize

November 10th, 2010
1:50 pm

Ladies, and gentlemen I guess, would you be down to date a person who has a newborn baby? Like under six months old?
ARed NO. Probably wouldn’t date someone with a kid under 3.

kimmie

November 10th, 2010
1:51 pm

Amred – It would really depend on the circumstances.

I dated one that had an 11 month old. Was still sort of a rebound situation though, so we didn’t date that much.

Leggs ™

November 10th, 2010
1:52 pm

@Zulu ~ I’m known to only bet on a sure thing. This one here will be a risk because I know you’re not suppose to judge a book by its cover, but I’ve seen so many of the sk-anks he dealt with its laughable. But anything is possible, he may not be dirty. Doesn’t matter because we will not have the conversation that will have us sitting side by side at the clinic.

Yes indeed, kimmie. Yes indeed!

SexyCool

November 10th, 2010
1:53 pm

Kym – I know…pretty cool.

Mo – there are a number of people that I know that are doing it without pictures. Just posting everyday. Taz / Rock are blogging it…they were inspired by a online blogger project.

Gratitude ROCKS!!!

SexyCool

November 10th, 2010
1:54 pm

And it’s especially timely with Thanksgiving and all coming up.

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
1:55 pm

Mo (aka Moeisha) Her body products are nice, over-priced, but nice. Her hair line broke my heart because of all the sulfates. Might as well purchase drug store grade. I co-wash 90% of the time (concoction of John Frieda, Organix, Olive and Coconut Oil). The other 5% I use John Frieda Smooth and Root Awakening for Dry Hair.

Zulu!

November 10th, 2010
1:56 pm

Kimmie?

1.45 coz men and women don’t have the same problems.

if u got shenanigans,u can stay in town but ur angst may persist…leaving town is a function of dating economics.

‘unsuspecting soul’? People are always looking for the one with little prior knowledge,why u think a female wl give u a tongue lashing if u ask for her number? :lol:

SexyCool

November 10th, 2010
1:58 pm

Mo / D23 – I’ve never been moved to even try the Carol’s Daughter products. Although, I am a fan of her story.

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
1:58 pm

“…would you be down to date a person who has a newborn baby? Like under six months old?”

AmazonRed™ that’s a little too new for comfort. No thanks. Baby momma/daddy drama right around the corner. At least with a few years, a pattern has developed around how they interact with each other. This is just too new.

Personally, I don’t date men with kids. Just me.

Simple Man!!!!!

November 10th, 2010
2:02 pm

Delight23..You pass on all men with kids regardless of circumstances??

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:04 pm

Delight23 – I like you! :lol:

kimmie

November 10th, 2010
2:05 pm

Zulu – Like I said, go rehabilitate with someone else.

So NOT open for discussion!

Zulu!

November 10th, 2010
2:08 pm

Delight? 1.46

In Zulu they say,’a thief won’t allow another thief to shave their hair’!

I get ur logic!

:lol:

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:09 pm

I had sushi for lunch- sadly..It was not Rusan’s :-(

Zulu!

November 10th, 2010
2:10 pm

Go rehabilitate with someone else

That’s the skip town principle actually..

move to a town with dudes who don’t know ur history!

:lol:

kimmie

November 10th, 2010
2:11 pm

Zulu – Exactly – move to another lady that doesn’t know your history! :lol:

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:12 pm

Simple Man!!!!! Yep. So far anyway. I’ve not met one that I felt comfortable with. I’m selfish with my man’s time and that is absolutely not fair to his child/children.

I’ve attempted twice. First one had jealous baby mama kept blowing up the cell. Althoug I never assumed to know what he was saying to her to encourage or discourage the behavior; two sides.

The second one had an 11yr old little girl. I felt sooo bad/guilty when we would spend weekends together.

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:14 pm

around 12ish: did Melo actually say playa playa sizzle :shock:
LMAO!!!!

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:16 pm

Zulu! “In Zulu they say,’a thief won’t allow another thief to shave their hair’!”

Precisely. :D When you know better you’re suppose to do better.

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:21 pm

“…I’m not going to ask the number because I think it’s one of the dumbest questions in dating history!!!….”

Yep that question is like asking someone how many times they’ve been to McDonalds’ in thier lifetime- totally irrelevant.

Zulu!

November 10th, 2010
2:22 pm

What’s kicking on a Thursday in the A?

I’m off Friday so I want to go out tomorrow and have never on a Thursday or Sunday?

party people out there…?

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:23 pm

“…..Ladies, and gentlemen I guess, would you be down to date a person who has a newborn baby? Like under six months old?…….”

nope, if your child is under 1 yrs old; I keep it movin’

Leggs ™

November 10th, 2010
2:24 pm

@I am ~ it may have been a Strawberry Letter moment, but a guy got mad because he asked his girl her number and she 30 when his number was only 5. He was so up in arms of her high number that he no longer sees her the way he did before knowing the number..something like that…what a crock of s…! He got what he deserved by being stupid! Guess she would have faired better if she had lied. For all we know she may have lied!

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:24 pm

Had to fill out the new patient info form at the lady parts doctor. The form asked my number.

I’m glad I knew it! :lol:

For Real

November 10th, 2010
2:26 pm

On topic: Men don’t fooled by that “Woman Speak” if you marry a chick you are her HUSBAND PERIOD!!! If a chick believe that the title of “Best Friend” is more important than the title of “HUSBAND” why do they pursue marriage like EL pursues tight shirts? Besides, if a chick considers a dude to be her best friend it’s because ole boy is caking her and she doesn’t have to put forth any effort to be his friend. i.e can you come pick me up I drunk. can you come fix my sank? can you come go with me shopping? can you loan me $13? can you get me some tires? can you pick me up some tampons? i just got into an argument with my man can you come over and comfort me?

Now, does any of that sound a like friendship? Dang sho ain’t friendship that men are accustom to having. Fellas don’t fall for that BS. If you marry a chick it better be cause you want a wife and not freaking friend.

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:26 pm

“…..Personally, I don’t date men with kids. Just me……”

If that is your preference that is perfectly fine. Keep in mind though the older you get (like around mid 30’s and up), the harder it is to find someone that does not have kids.

blue®

November 10th, 2010
2:27 pm

Queen Elizabeth II is on Facebook?? whyy…anyway, what are you people talking about in here? been stuck under papers all morning…..

For Real

November 10th, 2010
2:28 pm

Ared: I prefer to date women with children who are in a stable relationship with the father of her child(ren) but I will not date a chick that has 4 kids by 3 different fathers.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 10th, 2010
2:32 pm

SexyCool/Delight – I tried some of Carol’s Daughter’s products just on a whim. Like I said, I like the styling aids (sheen sprays, leave in conditioners). Ive found they work really well. However the other hair stuff not so much. As far as shampoos and conditioners, Im faithful to Biolage and (now) Mixed Chicks. I probably have a mini beauty supply store in my closet, LOL!

And your project was too cool.

For Real

November 10th, 2010
2:32 pm

Had to fill out the new patient info form at the lady parts doctor. The form asked my number.

I’m glad I knew it!

Nurse: So Ms. Ared how many men have you sex with?

Ared: In the US?

Nurse: Period regardless of location.

Ared: 4 and a possible!

I am whatever you say I am

November 10th, 2010
2:32 pm

“…..Had to fill out the new patient info form at the lady parts doctor. The form asked my number. ….”

I have yet to see that question on a doctor form :shock:

kimmie

November 10th, 2010
2:33 pm

I prefer to date women with children who are in a stable relationship with the father of her child(ren) but I will not date a chick that has 4 kids by 3 different fathers.

4Real – How about 3 kids by 4 different fathers?

:lol:

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:35 pm

“nope, if your child is under 1 yrs old; I keep it movin’”

Straight No Chaser. :lol:

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:36 pm

For Real – I’ve had no international or island sex. ;-)

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:37 pm

Keep in mind though the older you get (like around mid 30’s and up), the harder it is to find someone that does not have kids.

It’s not that hard. All I date is men 35+ and they don’t have kids. Some folks just attract those types (probably cuz I don’t come across as nurturing :lol: *shrug*)

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:38 pm

Besides, if a chick considers a dude to be her best friend it’s because ole boy is caking her and she doesn’t have to put forth any effort to be his friend.

Projections, boy…projections :-)

SexyCool

November 10th, 2010
2:40 pm

Mo – You. Me. Beauty Supply junkies.

I just had to gift two bags of different products that I just wasn’t using. I’m always buying something to try and if I’m not crazy about the results, I don’t use it. I would estimate that I gave my little sister about $200 worth of hair care stuff last month.

I’ve simplified my hair care routine – These days, I stick to Nairobi for styling / setting mousse. Mizani for shampoo / conditioner. Doo Gro for hair polish spray (although I will try other brands.) I like the Elasta QP texturizer, but so far, I haven’t been brand loyal when it comes to that. My hair color is by Clairol. Any old spritz will do (because I don’t use it that often)

Other than that, there are not too many other hair products that I use.

For Real

November 10th, 2010
2:41 pm

4Real – How about 3 kids by 4 different fathers? – Now that’s just silly Kimmie.

Ared: “For Real – I’ve had no international or island sex.” – At least that’s what you put on that form.

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:41 pm

AmazonRed™: Keep in mind though the older you get (like around mid 30’s and up), the harder it is to find someone that does not have kids

It’s not that hard. All I date is men 35+ and they don’t have kids. Some folks just attract those types (probably cuz I don’t come across as nurturing *shrug*)

^^^^^Beat mt to it. In MY EXPERIENCE, haven’t had that issue either. I like to be able to say I tried something before blatantly dismissing it. Tried this. Didn’t care for it.

Delight23

November 10th, 2010
2:42 pm

4Real – How about 3 kids by 4 different fathers?

..so you saw that on Discovery the other night too huh? :P

SexyCool

November 10th, 2010
2:43 pm

I have come to the conclusion that, most often, people who warn you against refusing to consider dating someone that has kids are *usually* people that have kids.

Zulu!

November 10th, 2010
2:44 pm

Sexxycool?

that’s all the hair grooming u do?

For Real

November 10th, 2010
2:45 pm

“Projections, boy…projections” – Nope observations, observations…. had to talk a good friend down once.

“It’s not that hard.” – I agree. I got 4 dudes in my crew that are childless and never been married. So they do exist just like Santa Clause.

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:46 pm

At least that’s what you put on that form.

Sure did, cuz it was the truth. :)

AmazonRed™

November 10th, 2010
2:47 pm

I have yet to see that question on a doctor form

It was my first time seeing such a thing! :lol: