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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Wanted by many, taken by none

I can understand how dating multiple people can become a ego boost. You’re in high demand, people are jockeying for your time, it’s all about YOU. It’s all fun and games until somebody wants more.

This is usually when the drama starts. It’s not always easy pursuing these mini “relationships” and then you have to decide how and when to narrow things down to one…or at least TWO.

I have noticed that the younger guys I meet say that they are told to juggle many women but it gets really old, really fast for them. I’ve seen a lot of people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

595 comments Add your comment

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
11:01 am

2can

hmmmmmmmmmmm

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
11:01 am

“frisky from yesterday”…{{looking around}}…who me! I wouldn’t necessarily use “frisky” to refer to your alter ego’s attempted hookup with another! No, I’m good over here!

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
11:02 am

Purp – How can someone keep their guards up on some guy but other guys can just get right pass those same guards?

Its called ISM

DaddyDapper

November 4th, 2010
11:02 am

Hey Guys!

As is the cliche’, ” perception is reality”! The key here is honesty. I was on a date (sorta like a date) last night with a nice lady. She came over, brewed up some dinner and we ate and watched the games (for a little while, anyway *wink*). During the course of the evening, some of my other good lady friends happen to call. I’m one to always answer my phone if possible, something could be happening and you may be needed! Anyway, I answered the calls, made sure things were okay and told the ladies I was hangin’ out w/ someone at the time and to expect my call later or tomorrow. It is obvious to talk about relationship happenings when you’re getting to know someone, so I make it a point to be upfront and honest using mild discretion.

Gentlemen, ladies love it! Not all and the one’s who don’t are probably very controlling. You also have to be willing to accept the fact that they may be doing the same! No biggie! Keep it pimpin!

Kym

November 4th, 2010
11:02 am

@Purple..I can answer that one. Well I can answer for myself anyway

The guys knew when to hold them and when to fold them.-They took time to figure out what made me tick..when I was barking loud or selling wolf-tickets and that requires a certain level of charm that is subtle and not forcefully.

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
11:03 am

Zulu – Now you know I’m “discreet”. Yes, you were quite real!LOL!! I’m like Celisea, though. I know better than to give it up early, because I WILL catch feelings, I know ME!

Less than a month is all I will say! :)

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
11:03 am

DreamsMaterialize: Quality stock indeed. But I’ve experienced the unpleasantries of demand outpacing supply. Nothing uglier than pulling stock off the trading floor. Can be brual

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:03 am

Zulu – Celisea? U that romantic of a chic but u have never been got got sexually? Hmmmmmmmm

Ummm, I’m grown, with a kid, cohabitated, been engaged. That should state the obvious? Romance or romanticizing (which is what I think you’re eluding to) ain’t got nothing to do with what I’m saying.

Chink

November 4th, 2010
11:04 am

Zulu

Not at all but I see a pattern guys will treat you the way you let them.

Most of the time they are trying to handcuff you but they want their freedom…It don’t work like that with me.

And all of you guys are sitting on here talking about dating honesty yeah right if you meet a girl and she got it going on there is no way ya’ll going to just let her get away by letting her know she aint the only one…Thats B.S. You don’t try to hem her down you know someone else can take her…and thats real.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
11:05 am

@Purple Rain

“How can someone keep their guards up on some guy but other guys can just get right pass those same guards?”

Thats a great question and there really is no true answer. Some women are fickle. It may be just how she is feeling at the time and where you fit in potentially, she may have her mind focused on some other guy shes trying to get with etc.

My answer is that she is dealing with somebody. It may not be you at the time. I always say, “The biggest misconception that guys make when they meet a woman is they assume that she is at home baking oatmeal cookies not doing her thing.” They are doing out in the field doing their thing!

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
11:07 am

Whats up Zulu????

Kym

November 4th, 2010
11:07 am

@Blackfoote and Blackfoote II I am awake and that was Tawanda..she basically said either we can either break dude off or break him down she went with the later. Tell him to just rub some Tussin on his wounds and he will be alright.

@Leggs..note to you..he apparently likes getting his azz chewed out..

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
11:11 am

@ 2CPTG that is actually a good question……… makes you think about the people you call your friends and the people you date (or you call you significant other)…

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:13 am

Heck everybody just do what you feel…if you can find chicks that don’t mind rotation and keeps a rotation…just do the dang thing. If you find a dude (or woman) that’s outgrown such…go with that.

Kym

November 4th, 2010
11:16 am

Call me crazy..but I wouldn’t think anyone would commit to being all in date wise with someone after just one date. I mean date one you meet the representative..it is thru the convo and other dates that you actually get a better picture of what you are dealing with.

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
11:18 am

@ Kym I think you see the representative on the 1st year and on the brink of the 2nd into the 2nd you are seeing the real person. I think that’s when we get comfortable and aren’t so mindful about putting our best foot forward all the time. If you move in with them then that representative is probably gone a week after you move in 2 weeks tops.

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
11:21 am

Chink

I like that 11.04.

How long have u been in the game with that one month rule,is it working or is it scaring guys off?

You are right tho that most guys want to date the best chic but still have the freedom to bed other women whilst she only commits to them.

I hope ur system works for u
U looking to get married some day?
Good luck!

Kym

November 4th, 2010
11:22 am

@Yes..I am sorry but if someone is faking the funk for an entire year they are not just sendinga rep..they are flat out lying to themselves..pretending to be something they are not and a role they are not comfortable playing.

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
11:23 am

How can someone keep their guards up on some guy but other guys can just get right pass those same guards?

Hey, some guys just got it! And some are lame as all get out and you decide upfront it’s never gonna happen!

Ask yourself, which guy are you?

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
11:23 am

Chink @ 11:04

You are a little off base on that one…There are alot of dudes that are ok with being honest and trusting that that woman who has got it going on will be respectful of that honesty. If I happen to be on a first date with a lady it would be CRAZY of me to assume that she is not dating anyone else too….If She is that on point then she will be in demand and should understand your position….

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
11:24 am

I’m way too lazy to keep up with Lies like that. Heyal I cant remember what I had for lunch Monday let alone trying to remember what I told you 3 mos ago. Thats why I can only deal with the truth or something very very close to it.

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
11:27 am

random: do I look like I want to hear about the hunting you have planned for the weekend ?!?!?

@ Willie D, I am so with you on that 11:24 LOL

OK

November 4th, 2010
11:28 am

dating+ sex + feelings = confusion

dating + feelings= find a person’s true intentions

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
11:28 am

@Yes when I say you meet the representative I don’t mean they intentionally misrepresent themselves. A lot of people put their best foot forward for awhile but I think anyone will start to be lax on that but it takes awhile…..

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:29 am

I don’t think anybody is saying you got to do a tell all to your date on the first date alongside burning your black book after a couple of dates. If though, you find you’re feeling that person you should begin your scale back process…and vice versa. Something is wrong if you don’t feel the need to do so….if you’re feeling them enough to explore where things could go. Frankly I don’t want to know how many women you’re dating but neither do I want to be date #9 on a 7 day week.

evy

November 4th, 2010
11:31 am

mornin, all – hope everyone’s doin well today.
@ swiss: took you exactly 7 minutes 2 start complaining about being bored & there being no ladies in yet…lol
on topic: good points being made this am, i think – & some of them by the men! who says they can’t think? :d dating is, at least in the beginning, an exploratory process, & ‘dating’ & ‘love interest’…’person you’re dating’ & ’s.o’ – not (necessarily)the same thing. confusion here, imo = recipe 4 hurt feelings, at least…or even…dun dun dun! friends first – marrying someone you’re already friends with – kudos on that. sharing different interests with like-minded companions – imo, a mature and perfectly reasonable practice. honesty being key – sure, in all things, & as nyc said, keep it gracious – it’s not a license 4 disrespect.
@ kym: ‘meeting the representative’ – i like that! good way to put it, & probly tru 4 most of us…
@ willie: ‘the truth or something very close to it’ – ? lol

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
11:32 am

Off topic: Looks like my new grill & flat screen for the patio room is gonna have to turn into new brakes & tires instead… :-( Boo!

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
11:33 am

See,this is what I don’t like about Obama:

Jellyback!

Cnbc headline

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
11:33 am

oops that was @ kym…at least I think IDK :(

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
11:34 am

OK – I like your equations.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:34 am

Did all the folks banned get in?

Chink

November 4th, 2010
11:34 am

Zulu

Now where did I state a 1 month rule…I just said I would not date 1 person for over a month without us agreeing that we going to be friends or we digging each other…

I am in a relationship (thank goodness) almost going on 2 yrs….

Ladies please don’t fall for the okie doke…with that I am passed my blogging limit.

We all should know by now how relationships happen…In my “younger” days I dated several men for a period of time ..it was fun …and thats about it.

DC Rose

November 4th, 2010
11:35 am

Hello everyone! Long time no blog.

I still have my two steady guys. One is a LDR and the other is in-town. They both know about each other. Not something I rub in their faces… just a fact about me.

I’m not looking for marriage and neither are they. They’re both different. I do different activities with them. I love the variety! All my needs are met. I know who to call for outdoor activities and who to call for museums and plays. I’m close to both, but they are free to date as well.

My plan, if one drops off, or catches feelings, they will be replaced.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
11:35 am

why does it take forever to build a genuine friendship, but only a few weeks for a relationship? Then, spout some nonsense ’bout “I can’t go there with you because we’re friends?”

I’ll take a stab at it. I like you. I’m not sexually attacted to you, but you’re such a nice guy that I don’t want to hurt your feelings?

Heck I dunno. I’m just pontificating cuz’ I don’t have that issue. I need my one and only to be my friend.

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
11:36 am

Aimee Michaels gets 36 years!

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:36 am

DC Rose – My plan, if one drops off, or catches feelings, they will be replaced.

You don’t have any feelings? At all?

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
11:37 am

Her mother gets 8!

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
11:37 am

I’m with Chink…I’m passed my limit….I just get so passionate about these things…LOL I need to work

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
11:38 am

Evy – (paraphrasing) sometimes you dont always have to give out the ‘whole truth and nothing but the truth’. Nothing sinister in the comment.

Swiss – Now how did we know you would take a L on that one. Part of the job description my man.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
11:38 am

Kym 11:22 am @Yes..I am sorry but if someone is faking the funk for an entire year they are not just sendinga rep..they are flat out lying to themselves

:lol: 1000% co-sign

evy

November 4th, 2010
11:38 am

@ swiss: lol!

Kym

November 4th, 2010
11:39 am

@Leggs..sound good to me she will be 60 when she gets out.

evy

November 4th, 2010
11:39 am

@ willie: awww, shucks, dude – i know that…still funny…heeheehee

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
11:40 am

Frankly I don’t want to know how many women you’re dating but neither do I want to be date #9 on a 7 day week.

:?: do you or don’t you want to know.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
11:41 am

Leggs ™ 11:36 am Aimee Michaels gets 36 years

For FIVE lives? Wow. 8O

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
11:42 am

@Delight I think that its a good idea that one’s s/o is their friend. :)

OK

November 4th, 2010
11:42 am

@Chink I understand what you’re saying…I feelin it.

I think what your saying is>>> understanding the man’s intentions from jump street. If I know what I want (exclusive relationship) and he wants to date others, thats cool. But we not turning it into FWB..thats the okie doke.

And whoever used the line: Jump in- Jump out- thats my new motto. If you OUT…”get ta steppin” (i think thats from Martin)

evy

November 4th, 2010
11:43 am

@ leggs: smh. such a d@amn waste – all those lives lost, so many others attached to them devastated…

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
11:43 am

I know we cannot say what we would do for our children if in a situation like that, but hiding and covering it up like the mom did wouldn’t have been on my mind. I may not have come forward within 24 hrs, but I would have. I guess I would need some time to wrap my head around everything before turning my child in!!!

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
11:43 am

If one drops off, or catches feelings,they will be replaced.

DC?!

this is a cold,heartless biaatch right here!

:lol: :lol: