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Wanted by many, taken by none

I can understand how dating multiple people can become a ego boost. You’re in high demand, people are jockeying for your time, it’s all about YOU. It’s all fun and games until somebody wants more.

This is usually when the drama starts. It’s not always easy pursuing these mini “relationships” and then you have to decide how and when to narrow things down to one…or at least TWO.

I have noticed that the younger guys I meet say that they are told to juggle many women but it gets really old, really fast for them. I’ve seen a lot of people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

595 comments Add your comment

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:15 am

What I dont understand is how people assume that 1-3 dates means that I’m not also in the process of seeng other people for those 1-3 dates.

Imma have to agree here….this does not mean exclusivity

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
10:15 am

Purp – Maybe I’m misunderstanding as well. I thought all was fair in Dating. Until the Heart gets involved all you are to each other is just filling a need. Whether that involves going out having a good time to more specific things to the other person.

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid! (Leggs)

November 4th, 2010
10:16 am

Thanks ARed/SlimNU ~ I’ve never been kicked out of anywhere in my entire life….wait, I was kicked out of a restaurant/club for dancing on the table (but that’s a whole nother can of worms)!

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
10:16 am

I was mistaking dating with relationships

Purple Rain – So many people make that mistake. If you were to ever admit you actually were dating other people (even on date 1!!!) some folks wouldn’t ever contact you again.

As long as your mind set is right and you’re willing to stop “dating” to date one, it’s okay. :lol:

Kym

November 4th, 2010
10:17 am

*Yawn** Excuse me..Did we clear up the blog snafu? Any word on the sentens for the Michaels woman?

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid! (Leggs)

November 4th, 2010
10:18 am

“…but hell Im only 3 apples high so they wouldnt have seen me anyway!” HYSTERICAL….TOO DANG FUNNY (but true) :lol: :lol:

Kym

November 4th, 2010
10:19 am

sentence…ok I need to wake up.

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid! (Leggs)

November 4th, 2010
10:19 am

@ARed ~ it was reported last week that she may be given 15 years for every life taken. Now, they’re talking about giving her life!

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
10:21 am

Kym – Nothing yet. I’m keeping an eye on AJC and WSB TV.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 4th, 2010
10:23 am

ARed/Kym – yeah Im waiting to heat the sentence for Aimee Michaels as well. That was such a sad incident all the way around

Leggs – im just sayin…..LOL!

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
10:23 am

What I dont understand is how people assume that 1-3 dates means that I’m not also in the process of seeng other people for those 1-3 dates.

Easy….assume. No clarification or ground rules established. I my book, by date #2, which means I enjoyed #1 enough to continue, I put it out there that I’m looking for A) Fun or B) Long-Term Relationship or as the boys would say, some Sanitized, In-House Wang. :lol:

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:23 am

Blackfoote, my sisters have gone on..1 in college, 1 to marriage, 1 is single and loving it, the other 1 runs the office side of things for the family business. But they have a lot of friends I have a bunch of single female cousins though, LOL

Leggs

November 4th, 2010
10:24 am

@Blackfoote ~ I’m good…I’m back on saddle!

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:24 am

Wonder if say those 1-3 dates sex happens if it’s still dating or does it default to a relationship? Or if sex is even on the menu see it’s just exploratory.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:25 am

“seeing” not see

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:26 am

PR – Are you from Minnesota?

blue®

November 4th, 2010
10:26 am

@Mo – im fun-sized too, and my key wouldnt work…i was ssooo sad :( . now i have no idea what we’re talking about lol

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:27 am

If sex happens in those first three dates, I do not think that it means that it is an automatic relationship. For some it might, but if I had sex with you in the first three dates, I know mentally that whatever we are doing would not be long term. Maybe just the current season.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
10:27 am

@Delight23

LOL…In what instance? Do you like to date multiple people or is it a headache for you?

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:29 am

Celisea, yes I am

@ms_jones74

November 4th, 2010
10:29 am

I’ve never been able to be truly interested in more than one man at a time.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:29 am

PR – Your 10:27…exactly….that’s how some women can easily confuse and not realize what lane their in or should be in. Which goes back to making things clear…crystal clear. If you know you’re getting physical that early on and you know you don’t really want more than that shouldn’t or wouldn’t that get old? I mean you’d find a new girl and repeat steps 1 – 5.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:29 am

they’re not their…oops

DreamsMaterialize

November 4th, 2010
10:30 am

See DreamsMaterialize you and me are >>> here <<<. Start with quality stock and dwindle to one as needed
Delight well I like to keep multiple stocks until the returns are no longer favorable. lol Are you quality stock? ;-)

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
10:31 am

If a guy gets the goods from a serious,nice chic on the first to third date,a lot of times that creates problems with some coz feelings start developing.

Still dating phase,right?

Coz some guys out there have excellent skills of garb that peel the panties faster than a relationship develops and gets defined!

U feel me gentleman? :lol:
Shout to Simple and Blackfoote! :lol:

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
10:33 am

@Everyone

Question,

What are the dating Wanted by Many, taken by none rules for long distance dating? What if you have a Long Distance Rotation?

Me and my friend were talking and she said that if she is doing a long distance relationship, she will still let guys take her out on dates in her city if her BF is not around. Thoughts?

I met a girl who said she had a BF in California and she lives here but she flies there 2 times a month and he flies to Atlanta 2 times a month. Is that really worth it? I think alot of people do long distance because they like the space and sometimes think they dont have any options where they are… IMHO.

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:33 am

Celisea, you are right. People need to realize that sex does not mean you are in a relationship. But that conversation is rarely had.

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
10:35 am

Celisea?

funny ur 10.24!

I was thinking of what u said earlier hence my 10.31. :lol:

U are a good girl but fatal attraction gets the best of u on date #2!

Damn she gets real horny and bites!

angst! :lol:

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
10:35 am

Morning Folks!

I’m past the point in my life where multiple dating equals fun. I did it briefly in college/early 20’s and it got old. Guess I’m just a one-man woman. That works for me.

I wonder if all of those that like to multiple date are really DATING? So many talk about how easy it is to get physical on the first few “dates”. Is there a lot of overlapping? Can you do that and still develop a good friendship too, like 2C said? I don’t know, it all gets too tangled up for me. But hey, do you.

Chink

November 4th, 2010
10:36 am

Willie

In those 1-3 dates my expectation isn’t that we are exclusive. Since I might drop them like a bad habit in those times.

Bottom line I am not going to be dating people for over a month either you going to make me your lady or we just friends without benefits.

Someone is being led on if there is drama …why would you date someone for a long time because yes the expectation is there that ya’ll are a couple …”get in and get out if you are actively dating”.

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
10:42 am

Zulu:

What’s happenin dude……….I’m not into that stuff no longer in my younger days it was nice now I can have a great time with one lady or with myself.

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
10:44 am

M – Your 10:33 – I have a friend that’s in that situation, a LDR. But she was recently asked out and wonders if she should have accepted the date.

I think it depends on a lot of factors. How serious is the relationship, where are the individuals in their life(fresh out of college, early 30’s, newly divorced), etc.

If the 2 of you are really serious, I believe in being faithful. Dating others could lead to catching feelings for another person and that complicates things. I think you should behave as if the other person is in the same city with you.

I had 2 LDR that each lasted 2 years back in my 20’s. If I had to do it over, I would have dated. I was young and didn’t have a ring on my finger. And the guys I was with were dating, just kept it from me. It’s okay, we were young.

LDR’s can be complicated. Hopefully I won’t have to be in one ever again.

DreamsMaterialize

November 4th, 2010
10:44 am

Bottom line I am not going to be dating people for over a month either you going to make me your lady or we just friends without benefits.
chink so a dude has to make you his lady WITHIN a month’s time? Is this the norm ladies?

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
10:45 am

LDR’s can be complicated. Hopefully I won’t have to be in one ever again.

Kimmie, same here!!

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
10:45 am

“I can have a great time with one lady or with myself.”

That’s a loaded statement!

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
10:45 am

so a dude has to make you his lady WITHIN a month’s time? Is this the norm ladies?

Dreams not for me

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:46 am

Zulu Zulu Zulu…not sure I understood your reference to me in your 10:35 but I’m disciplined so there will be no fatal attraction and more so no sex unless we clear as crystal. I’m a woman in every sense of the word and I will DEFINITELY catch feelings getting physical so believe me there won’t be sex on dates 1-3…just me though and I how I do it.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
10:46 am

M. Well:

1. It takes alot of energy to deal with different men. BUT theres this misconception that women are looking for a husband in each chosen date

2. Guys(Girls) want to see and talk to you everyday. I promclaimed it and stand by it, I NEED MY SPACE. Even in a relationship , I steal away and do “me” things. I like to re-charge and get perspective on things from the outside looking in; keep the rose off the glasses.

Pros:
Get a feel for whats going on in dating and where you fit = CHECK
Your personality gets more well rounded by dealing with different people = VARIETY IS SPICY

Cons:
Can cause alot of drama = CHECK
People can be mislead and catch feelings even if you are up front with them = Baby I’m on your schedule. I’m good with just being your friend. DUN DUN DUN Who was that? Why can’t I see you more often? Why don’t you answer your phone when we’re together? etc., etc., etc.

kimmie

November 4th, 2010
10:46 am

Zulu – Your 10:31, in your crude way, that’s kinda what I was referring to in my 1st post.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
10:48 am

@Kimmie

I agree with you. Thats my definition of cheating…Would you still do it (whatever it is) if your bf was sitting right here?

I also think people shouldnt just go on dates even if you say its just friends because sparks can fly!

I did LDR and would not recommend it. Relationships are 90% non verbal and we need to be around each other. Also who knows what happens when the phones hang up? You call them at 12:30am and their phone goes straight to voicemail?

Kym

November 4th, 2010
10:48 am

Okay Seriously M.dot..dude are you writing a book or something?

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
10:51 am

@ M. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy but then I we saw each other every weekend either I was there or he was here due to my travel benefits lol. I would not do LDR unless I keep my travel benefits. But I like the dynamic of someone that you can just drive over their house and be like “hey I was in the neighborhood” or that they can call you and do the same. :D

@ Dreams it depends a month of spending A LOT of time together (like more than once a week) I could see it but I was dating my current beau for months before we became official or did the do….

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
10:52 am

@Delight23

LOL I see where you are coming from.

@Kym

I was just expressing my thoughts. I can do that right?

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
10:53 am

Leggs:

LOL…….. you know what I mean…….you’re still frisky from yesterday huh.

Chink

November 4th, 2010
10:54 am

Dreams

No the other part of that was friends without benefits …did you miss that part??

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:58 am

How can someone keep their guards up on some guy but other guys can just get right pass those same guards?

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
10:59 am

Kimmie,come on,that ain’t crude,that’s real! :lol:

So even where u admit u proly made a mistake,when was the earliest that u gave away the lil cherry kimmestes? :lol:

Celisea? U that romantic of a chic but u have never been got got sexually? Hmmmmmmmm

@Cink?

In a month’s time u want to be already coupled up and taken? U fall hard and quick ha? :lol:

Kimmie?

Even in marriage,I can’t do LDM.

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
11:00 am

disclaimer – The thoughts and opinions being offered by Mr.Dynamite today are in regards to the said thought process prior to being happily Married. Hey baby love ya. hahaha

Chink – I understand you POV. I however also see that if at the end of the month a decision has to be made on whether you going to be my Lady or just the FWOB then probably neither. I think thats cool that you have established the ground rules. A dude can either accept that or K.I.M. no harm no foul.

For me, it is more a process of getting a need filled. My time is just that MY TIME. I may like hanging out with you or going on a Date or two. During that time if you happen to give up your prized possession or some good Ga Dome within those first few dates then so be it. If during this process that you are catching feelings my intent is not to lead you on. I’ve always made it very clear that I wasnt ready for the responsibility of being your Man. When a Man is telling you and showing you that then the choice is yours. My heart dont pump off Sex. Thats why its called Dating.

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 4th, 2010
11:00 am

riddle me this:

why does it take forever to build a genuine friendship, but only a few weeks for a relationship? Then, spout some nonsense ’bout “I can’t go there with you because we’re friends?”

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
11:01 am

Kym:

Hello Kym have you waken now? Blackfoote II says hi he’s still hurting from that beat dwon you gave him…….LOL