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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Wanted by many, taken by none

I can understand how dating multiple people can become a ego boost. You’re in high demand, people are jockeying for your time, it’s all about YOU. It’s all fun and games until somebody wants more.

This is usually when the drama starts. It’s not always easy pursuing these mini “relationships” and then you have to decide how and when to narrow things down to one…or at least TWO.

I have noticed that the younger guys I meet say that they are told to juggle many women but it gets really old, really fast for them. I’ve seen a lot of people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

595 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
9:45 am

IDK asked me to pass along his greetings from a land far, far away….BBI – Banned Bloggers Island. (lol)

Kym

November 4th, 2010
9:46 am

DK got banned..why? What did I miss yesterday?

Sassy Me...feeling like new!! :-)

November 4th, 2010
9:47 am

Single = not married = me.

That’s me all the way. However YSIC per your 9:29 I understand that. Some folk mean if your not married you’re still single but if you’re in a relaionship what’s that called?….cause it ain’t single…true that. For me I’m single as in me,myself and I cause there is a distinction.

As far as dating in a rotation, I’ve done it but would avoid it if possible…I’m a one man woman. I’m sure I’ll be “booed up” one day but til then I’m living the single,single….LIFE :-)

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:48 am

DK got banned?

Funny. :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
9:48 am

On behalf of Leggs… Good morning all!! Sha has paid her rent, but the Gate keeper at the entrance to Blogsville refuses to let her in!!! As of right now, she is in negotiation with the powers that be and will Join this party as soon as possible!!!

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
9:49 am

I’m not sure. I didn’t blog yesterday.

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
9:50 am

Morning All, especially Wise (Just like Roger Goodell) Diva,

First thing first I think you have to know what your lane is. I personally dont understand how you can only date 1 person at a time. Grantd if things are slow and only 1 person piques your interest then maybe. However if you are actively dating then it is very possible to have 2-3 Dates back to back with different people in a relatively short time frame. That doesnt make you a player. That means you are dating. As stated earlier at some point the line up gets dwindled down and/or replacements until you find the one if that is what you are looking for.
I think fellas get it twisted because they are not upfront with these chicks. I think alot of you would be surprised if you just them know you are not looking to settle down and you like going out having fun. Nowadays more women are looking for that and will fall in line. Heyal you are more likely to be in a chicks rotation than the other way around even if they won’t admit it.

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:51 am

Okay…Leggs got banned too?

What’s going on?

Chink

November 4th, 2010
9:53 am

I am a one on one type of dater ..I have too many things going on to be juggling more than 1 guy at a time. If I am dating I give them 1-3 dates then move on if need be.

Is it just me because I have never dated a guy who wasn’t trying to take all of my time…thats why it gets so cumbersome.

Also in my experience most guys will lie and tell you they only trying to get with you…the only way I can tell a guy is really wanting to get to know me is by the time and effort they put into us.

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:53 am

SCool – DK and I had words yesterday, but nothing earth shattering. It’s was tamer than previous spats. LOL

Now that Leggs can’t get in, I’m sure it’s just a blog snafu.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:53 am

Wonder if Purple was banned as well? He was posting nasty nursery rhymes

Mr_NYC

November 4th, 2010
9:55 am

Good morning all; great comments. I will add my 2 nickels.
What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates?
On the negative side it can make it difficult to sort out feelings if any should develop. If one potential partner catches your eye more than another and hopefully you’ve been up front from the start about the non-exclusivity (is that a word) issue; then it may take some time to show the intended that you really want to focus on just one.
On the plus side, its nice to have options when you want companionship. At the start not everyone may enjoy all the activities you enjoy. So you can have different companions to fit those many varied outings.
More people expose you to others you may wish to network with and other potential partners — its like you get to know who they know.

What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?
The best way is to be 100% honest. And stick to that even when folks ask you to be honest but don’t like the answers you give.
And be gracious about it too. Just becaue you are being honest does not give a license to be disrespectful.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:55 am

Willie D – I think that’s the difference in men and women. I don’t want a bunch of dudes hanging around trying to decide which one I like best. If you pique my interest, let’s see where it goes….being mindful we need to be on the same page. Now as far as friends, male friends, you can never have too many. But oftentimes, I’ve seen the tides turn in that sort of scene. I would just ask, if you’re seeing multiple people, that as we move more center and see there’s a connection you start your scaling back process. Don’t be greedy and keep the dang rotation going.

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
9:55 am

Tell DK all he has to do is change the email addy that he’s using. And if that doesn’t work, just clear the cookies from his browser & he’ll be back in.

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid!

November 4th, 2010
9:57 am

I’m scared here in the dark by myself….

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid! (Leggs)

November 4th, 2010
9:58 am

Thanks i’m swiss. I used a different email address.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:58 am

This is funny….so no bad words, comments for real huh?

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:58 am

Guess we’ve all been warned

DreamsMaterialize

November 4th, 2010
9:59 am

Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?
What if all of your starting lineup are star athletes? I just date and enjoy the company. I admit to liking variety.

Chink

November 4th, 2010
9:59 am

Willie

What is actively dating …sounds like a occupation.

See I don’t think I am ever actively dating…if I happen to meet someone interesting while I am single… bingo! That’s just about how it goes.

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:59 am

Well, I said “ass” yesterday… :shock:

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
9:59 am

What in the world is going on today

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
10:00 am

You did…and not azz either

LET ME IN - My rent has been paid! (Leggs)

November 4th, 2010
10:01 am

I thought I might have been banned for talking about testicles at the end of the day!

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
10:01 am

Maybe…it’s more of a temporary “All of his comments are going to moderation type deal”…that happens sometimes. I don’t think he’s banned-banned. idk… (lol)

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
10:01 am

Maybe…it’s more of a temporary “All of his comments are going to moderation type deal”…that happens sometimes. I don’t think he’s banned-banned. idk… (lol)

blue®

November 4th, 2010
10:01 am

morning (3rd times the charm?)

Sassy Me...feeling like new!! :-)

November 4th, 2010
10:02 am

testing..testing…

My rent check is in the mail…

Sassy Me...feeling like new!! :-)

November 4th, 2010
10:03 am

I used a different email address.

Me,too….

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:04 am

Seeing if my key works, nope I have not been banned. :)

I have never been one to date multiple women at one time. When you have me you have all of me.

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
10:04 am

Public Service Announcement
The 84th Annual Christmas Carol Concert at Morehouse and Spelman will be held the first weekend in December. Admission is free (so get there early). If you’ve never been, you should go. It is an awesome performance.

blue®

November 4th, 2010
10:05 am

i wasnt bad, let me in :(

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:06 am

I come on later now because I am outside working in the wee morning hours, while you all are sleeping, come in shower then I am all yours for a few hours :)

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
10:06 am

Leggs:

Are you ok how you doing? LOL………That couldn’t have been the word you used (testicles).

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 4th, 2010
10:07 am

Being a general manager in the dating world is alot of stress including the numbers game. The most women I dated at once was 4 and it was a job! Let me clear up some myths:

1. Guys want to date alot of women.

This could not be farther from the truth. It takes alot of energy to deal with different women; the different schedules, lifestyles, personalities, attitudes, stress levels, etc. If we have a choice, we want just 1 top notch woman.

2. Guys want to see and talk to you everyday.

This is also not true. We had a life before you and want to keep as much of that as possible even though you are in our lives now. We just want a balanced dating regime.

Pros:

Options
Get a feel for whats going on in dating and where you fit.
Your personality gets more well rounded by dealing with different people.

Cons:

Can cause alot of drama.
People can be mislead and catch feelings even if you are up front with them.
Your image could be slandered if you dont keep your dating life in order.
Taking 4 different women out to eat in a week can be stressful all around.

“What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?”

The best way is to be upfront with everyone from the beginning. You arent married or committed to anyone so you are free to roam and should not have to lie to try to hide that. She may not like that you are dating but she has to respect it.

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:07 am

Celisea, those were Andrew Dice Clay’s version of nursery rhymes :)

Willie Dynamite

November 4th, 2010
10:07 am

Celisea/Chink – From the read of it looks like you have defined what lane you are in. It wouldnt sit too well if a dude tries to be with you that aint about being devoted to giving you the time upfront that you are willing to reciprocate. What I dont understand is how people assume that 1-3 dates means that I’m not also in the process of seeng other people for those 1-3 dates.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
10:07 am

What if all of your starting lineup are star athletes? I just date and enjoy the company. I admit to liking variety.

See DreamsMaterialize you and me are >>> here <<<. Start with quality stock and dwindle to one as needed. :-)

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:08 am

Why any man would want to deal with more than one woman is bewildering to me. One is a handful, or maybe I am just not man enough. LOL

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
10:08 am

You did…and not azz either

I’m a rebel! :lol:

blue®

November 4th, 2010
10:09 am

lets see, does this work?

SlimNumeroUno

November 4th, 2010
10:09 am

I know one of my posted posts were deleted yesterday too…looks like the blog parole officer was on the rag or something…not sure why Leggs of all ppl would’ve been banned tho

blue®

November 4th, 2010
10:10 am

hey, finally found the right key! was starting to think id never get in, lol….are we on a new filter again?

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:10 am

My misunderstanding, dating is dating..thats exploratory if you are not exclusive date around until you find the one. I was mistaking dating with relationships.

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
10:11 am

Hilarious. Walking up to the blog door, wondering if your key works or…if the locks have been changed.

Purple Rain

November 4th, 2010
10:11 am

You all better start bribing Wise Diva like I do :) , I am her boy toy. I stay on the shelf until she needs me. LOL

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
10:11 am

M. (pronouced M dot: based on your list I guess I have more testosterone than estrogen :? cause all though that was from a guys perspective it applies in my instance.

I take it back. I’ll just put that on the beauty of having older uncles put me down on game from an early age. :mrgreen:

Sassy Me...feeling like new!! :-)

November 4th, 2010
10:12 am

looks like the blog parole officer was on the rag or something…

You better stop before you get us put in time out…

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
10:13 am

Purp:

Did you have help from your sisters that can take down steers and bail hay? I like both city and country girls.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 4th, 2010
10:13 am

Morning All

Wow we got folks getting stopped at the gates?? :shock:

Glad I made it in, but hell Im only 3 apples high so they wouldnt have seen me anyway! :smile: