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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Wanted by many, taken by none

I can understand how dating multiple people can become a ego boost. You’re in high demand, people are jockeying for your time, it’s all about YOU. It’s all fun and games until somebody wants more.

This is usually when the drama starts. It’s not always easy pursuing these mini “relationships” and then you have to decide how and when to narrow things down to one…or at least TWO.

I have noticed that the younger guys I meet say that they are told to juggle many women but it gets really old, really fast for them. I’ve seen a lot of people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

595 comments Add your comment

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 4th, 2010
8:35 am

g’morning…..

these are easy…

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? —– yep.

Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete? —-til I get married/committed, a line-up works.

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? —- faux paus? you can only be in one place at a time….with one person.

What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit? — no deceit; if we’re dating, we’re not obligated to one another….you can do as you please, and so can I…

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:35 am

I’m FIRST bytches! (doing my “I’m First” dance…)

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:36 am

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
8:38 am

Opening the door…Turning on the lighs….

Maintaining an active rotation can be great if you are honest and upfront with everyone involved.

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:38 am

Premature celebration… I feel like Leon Lett… Should have held off on the dance until after I was in the FIRST-zone…. :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
8:39 am

‘Sup 2can…..

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
8:39 am

morning swiss….

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:41 am

Rotations are great in theory, but I’ve never been able to maintain them for very long… Just too much to juggle, too many cycles to keep track of, etc… :lol: Maybe I’m just too lazy for a rotation…? :-)

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:42 am

‘Sup, fellas. D@mn… where all the women at???

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
8:42 am

What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit?

Don’t have people thinking you are dating them exclusively when you are not. Be very upfront that you are dating multiple people.

Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?

For me it just depends on where I am personally in life. I have done both in cycles. With a starting line up eventually one player will stand out as the franchise player and you kind of let the others fall off the roster.

Good Morning

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:43 am

It’s a sausage-fest in here…

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

November 4th, 2010
8:43 am

Whew… Morning, Princess… It’s about time somebody improved the scenery (and the smell) in here… :lol:

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
8:44 am

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
8:47 am

Enter your comments here

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 4th, 2010
8:50 am

’sup fellas….and Princess….

Dating ain’t hard….not to me, at least….go out, bring a chic along….next week, go out, bring a chic along…if it happens to be a different chic, so be it….still dating, ain’t it? What’s so hard about that?

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
8:55 am

@2Can

dating isn’t all that hard, scheduling is my issue

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
8:57 am

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone is having a great morning even though its dark and rainy…….

Do you think single people are still playing the numbers game? Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete? – Yes, based off of what I read here not a lot of people are “single” in the true sense of the word. There is usually someone around whether they are kicking in or just talking whatever. I don’t even know what I prefer anymore since I actually am supposed to be single until I get my degree. Starting line up was cool for when I was younger but now its like one star athlete would be cool. It’s a lot less complicated.

What are the pros and cons to juggling multiple dates? What’s the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama and using deceit? – The pros are the ego boost, the cons are that the potential of the multiples finding out about each other or running into one while you out with the other. That’s why its better not to do that with one or more of your multiples in the same city. The best way to do it is probably going to be to be honest about the fact that you are dating other people nothing serious and that if it gets more serious you’ll be sure to let the other person know.

My friend was telling me that the number one question that women DON’T ask is how many women are you seeing right now? They automatically assume they are the only ones and that men will generally tell you if you ask. I don’t know how true that is I will need the fellas to chime in.

SlimNumeroUno

November 4th, 2010
8:58 am

Goooooooood moooooooorning Meat Market…can I get a sausage biscuit please ;-)

‘Rotations are great in theory, but I’ve never been able to maintain them for very long’

swiss – I cosign on that…even if I start out with a few parties of interest, it gets dwindled down very quickly to no more than 2 to really see where my interest lies. Then soon after i concentrate on that one. I’m not exactly sure if that’s the best way to go but as previously discussed on here, how do you really get to know someone if your attention is split up a million different ways…

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
8:59 am

how do you really get to know someone if your attention is split up a million different ways…

@ Slim, EXACTLY

SlimNumeroUno

November 4th, 2010
9:01 am

‘My friend was telling me that the number one question that women DON’T ask is how many women are you seeing right now? They automatically assume they are the only ones and that men will generally tell you if you ask’

YSIC – I ALWAYS assume a guy that i’ve met is already dealing with at LEAST 2 other chicks. It’s very rare to meet a dude, you ask him if he’s seeing anyone, and have him say absolutely No one. I think within the last 3 years or so, only one dude has said he was totally alone. For the most part, the dudes say “I’m dating”… lol

blue®

November 4th, 2010
9:02 am

morning everybody,

are daters playing a numbers game? for the most part, yeah.
Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete? in my dating years, i was with one person, but i did usually keep my starting line populated, never really stayed single for long, cause there was always someone waiting in the wings. considering i only dated one person at a time, never had to resort to deceit, but it did get complicated keeping the line straight, lol

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 4th, 2010
9:02 am

it ain’t about no ego boost with me……I can roll solo, and still have a good time….

the thing I’m gathering, is that somma y’all take dating to mean “a love interest.” How ’bout being friends first, and let the love interest develop. Then, when you go out with a “friend” ain’t no expectations, or the stigma of being labeled a player.

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
9:05 am

@ Slim I will have to ask once I get back on the market again and see what the answers are. But yeah, even if you DO ask its nothing for people to lie these days, either outright or by omission. My friend said ask if he’s seeing anyone else and ask how many and what does he expect out of his rotation to see … I forgot the rest b/c I actually stopped listening but I don’t know why she said to ask how many :lol:

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:05 am

Morning all –

The Camp Creek Easter crash girl is getting sentenced right now. Keeping an eye on AJC…

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
9:05 am

How ’bout being friends first, and let the love interest develop

2can I definately agree with that, I’ve seen plenty of people claim to “fall” for someone they didn’t even really know, they just knew that person on the surface

THE INFAMOUS DK

November 4th, 2010
9:06 am

Yeah what 2Can said..

Simple Man!!!!

November 4th, 2010
9:07 am

Like that…:) :D :)

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
9:08 am

@2CPTG not many guys approach a woman for the sole purpose of being friends or trying to be friends first. Its usually because they want to date them or do business with them (networking) so I don’t know where the ease of being “friends” can come about….

I’ve also noticed if you have conversation with a guy who seems cool and you think well he’d be great to talk to sometimes and you ask to get contact information they think you are trying to talk to him…but I guess it can be the same for women….

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:09 am

Yes it’s a numbers game. Me personally, my preference is one on one you getting to know me and vice versa and we deciding if it’s a go. If you like to date multiple women (or men) and hide behind the “we ain’t committed” thing, that’s cool do you but I won’t be playing. As I’ve done before and will do again, just politely remove myself from all the shenanigans. I’m an old fashion gal and I got a problem with you calling or dating or doing things with me and a number of other women. Be honest about it….yes I can respect that but really does that make it any better? IMO it’s a matter of having your cake and eating it too….usually, Imma pass in these kinds of scenes. And guess what, I won’t even go on and on and on nor rant….do you.

2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"

November 4th, 2010
9:10 am

Nik, that’s how I roll…..folks got the game backwards these days….they’ll go on a date or two, and claim that’s their man/lady….yet, don’t know jack about the person…that’s why when you get married, you’re supposed to be marrying your best friend! And that’s why I say when I get married, it’ll be to one of my friends!

PrincessNik

November 4th, 2010
9:15 am

2Can,

I just had a similiar conversation with my brother the other night. There is a female he has developed a friendship with over the past two years, they are really cool, and he realized he is feeling her for more than just a buddy. He was telling me all the things they do together etc.. I was like DUDE, its great that you got to know her on a friend basis first, now if you think ya’ll would make a good couple then express that to her.

Kym

November 4th, 2010
9:15 am

Good Morning All,

A pair and a spare was my motto back in the day. So my number is 3 anymore than 3 and I lose interest. Do I still play this number game? Right now I am not even in the game..and my opinon of the game is getting a bit…let’s just say the game is getting old. The pros always having someone fun to hang with a be around..the con..forgetting who you were suppose to hang with where. But 2C is right..just enjoy the company and concentrate on the present moment.

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
9:16 am

@ Amazon Red I feel bad for her b/c it was an accident….no one really knows what they would do if they were in that situation…..but she should have stayed at the scene…..

Blackfoote

November 4th, 2010
9:17 am

Good Morning:

“people who prefer to date one person and see how things turn out.”

None or one works for me and if there is none I’m still enjoying the ride.

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:18 am

Cute – I do feel bad for her too. I can even understand her leaving. But covering up and never coming forward… *sigh* She rejected 50 years… I still can’t imagine her getting more time than THAT!

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
9:20 am

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:22 am

On-topic – I do believe in dating. Especially in the black community. When it comes out that you’re seeing more than one person, it’s usually frowned upon. I think folks need to learn that everyone you’ll date will not be your spouce, it’s so much pressure with that latching on to one person at a time.

That being said, it should grow old. I date pretty regularly and don’t like dating more than one at a time. However, I’ll cut my losses once I know there is not a connection, I won’t keep hanging on. There may be overlap, but it’s very slight. I do think you need to give a person undivided attention once there is something there.

And yes, friends first is best…doesn’t really happen nowadays as you’re not in school or somewhere where you have to be friends first. It’s hard when you meet someone and attraction is there, you don’t want to be just friends.

Celisea

November 4th, 2010
9:22 am

Too, there’s an unspoken language that can cause things to become distorted. Men often say, ask what you want to know or state your desires but I’ll be daggone if you do that either your smothering, coming on too strong or asking them to do something they didn’t intend. If you say nothing, you can believe a dude will allow it to play just as he wishes and really you can’t complain because it’s what you allowed. If you know you like a variety then stick with chicks that are cool with that sort of behavior. By now everybody knows what they have an appetite for so just be true to what you like and don’t impose that sort of lifestyle on someone that’s not cool with it.

SexyCool

November 4th, 2010
9:23 am

blue®

November 4th, 2010
9:24 am

morning peoples,
are singles playing the numbers game: most definitely
Do you prefer to have a starting line up or work with your one star athlete?
never spent my time trying to date more than one at the same time, so never had to deal with the deciet. but did usually have a starting line up as it were, so never stayed single long. it boosted my ego somewhat to be “in demand” as it were, but for the most part did not lead to any meaningful relationships. and it did get hard keeping that line straight, lol

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
9:25 am

Bom dia peoples!! Single = not married = me. I find that it depends on the goal of the individual.

The staring line-up is great if you are in a no strings attached, just having fun, variety is the spice of life,….and all those other cliches.

Then the starting line-up get cut one by one as the desire for monogamy increases. Not nuclear physics. :|

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
9:28 am

Good morning!

Had to laugh at i’m swiss’ sausage comment…sounds like something Melo would have said.

@ARed ~ I believe a life sentence is now on the table. It was reported that she could get at least 15 years for every life taken.

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
9:29 am

@ Delight my friend always says single = not married so even if you have a boyfriend you are still single. You think that’s true?

Leggs ™

November 4th, 2010
9:30 am

Good morning!

Had to laugh at i’m swiss’ sausage comment…sounds like something Zulu would have said.

@ARed ~ I believe a life sentence is now on the table. It was reported that she could get at least 15 years for every life taken.

Delight23

November 4th, 2010
9:33 am

YesSheIsCute: yes ma’am. As far as uncle sam and Kaiser are concerned I’m single. I can’t claim you. ;-)

Hey it's me - Banging Loudly to be Let In!!!!

November 4th, 2010
9:34 am

Good morning! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:37 am

Yes, you are single until you are married, but being single doesn’t mean you’re available or not in a relationship.

YesSheIsCute

November 4th, 2010
9:38 am

@ Amazon and Delight yay! Now I can start waving my hands in the air when the “single ladies” song comes on :lol: j/k

AmazonRed™ - the hope diamond

November 4th, 2010
9:41 am

Uh…yeah…if he hasn’t put a ring on it…you are definitely single. :lol:

Zulu!

November 4th, 2010
9:45 am

Good morning!

Rotation is always a good thing.

Choice is good!