Learn your lesson, then run away
Kanye West has a pretty interesting music video for his song Runaway. If you haven’t seen it yet, you may want to listen to the song first and then watch it. I believe there is a lot of symbolism in it but the song relates to a lot of what single people go through in dating.
One part of the song: “I always find something wrong” kind of hits home because this is classic commitment phobic thinking. You know how things can go really great and you get spooked by it and start to search for random things to justify you running away? That won’t stop happening until you catch yourself doing it. Hindsight is 20/20 but if you can find out that you are ruining a potentially great romance, you probably won’t regret taking a chance.
Of course, the song also refers to those jerks and scumbags that we should run away from (or stop acting like!) and this made me think about all my exes. Some of my worst relationships taught me the most. That’s kind of invaluable when you think about it!
What did you learn from your worst dating experience?
Do you have a problem of “always finding something wrong” in the people that you date? Do you recognize it before or after?
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397 comments Add your comment
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
10:29 am
This is how it should have appeared.
My self induced debacle:
Trust is a much needed component
Soften….in all the right places, spaces and times and trust he won’t take advantange of your vunerable state
Don’t look for trouble.
Accept imperfections
For the same of making it work, because it’s not all gravy sometimes: TIMING. Time and place to approach and talk through issues. All the time and every time ain’t a good time.
Worst “him” induced debacle:
Don’t listen to liars…it’s who they are and what they do
Don’t accept nothing less than what you deserve
Run from liars
A man that will lie, will lie…okay ya’ll get it
When it’s time to let go, let go…completely, all the way
YesSheIsCute
October 28th, 2010
10:29 am
@ kimmie oops I need to correct that I meant 2008 early 2009. I was dating my ex 2006/2007…he was not a joker but 2008 sure was/is!
Sweet Pea
October 28th, 2010
10:30 am
@YSIC I totally agree as that is the lesson I learned, and when you see the flags then it’s time to make your exit!!!
Purple Rain
October 28th, 2010
10:30 am
Fred was a horse that used to like to hang out with my horse and it just took off from there.
I learned to trust myself and be transparent in my feelings, and that right there caused a more joyful experience as it allowed me to trust the other person more. Long story short when I was trifling I got trifling results. Once I became a more honest man, I found a more honest woman.
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
10:31 am
PR – I became a more honest man, I found a more honest woman.
Nice, I like
kimmie
October 28th, 2010
10:35 am
Purple Olive, you just made me fall in love with you all over again with that post!
Let’s call off the divorce!
Foots
October 28th, 2010
10:35 am
Good morning all…
What did you learn from your worst dating experience?
Do you have a problem of “always finding something wrong” in the people that you date? Do you recognize it before or after?
Worst dating experience takeaways? I learned early on how to keep it moving by believing that if I thought that was hot, but God said “No, he’s not the one”, that He must have something really awesome right around the corner for me. Whether that’s true for everybody or not, it’s been my truth and it’s really helped me keep my perspective in dating and let the not-so-great ones go in anticipation of the great ones to come. I’m Queen of Keep It Moving, and that’s how I do it. Bad experiences aren’t failures for me; they are my springboard to better experiences.
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
October 28th, 2010
10:35 am
“would you like to dance w/me?”
why, certainly…..as I extend my hand, and gracefully lead you to the dance floor…..then start jammin like Mr. Brown! (say what you want, but dude be gettin’ down!)
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 28th, 2010
10:36 am
What’s “LDR?”
kimmie
October 28th, 2010
10:37 am
Swiss – Long Distance Relationship
Purple Rain
October 28th, 2010
10:37 am
Celisea,
Karma can’t kick your butt forever. I had to make a change to get better results and juju
YesSheIsCute
October 28th, 2010
10:38 am
@ PR Long story short when I was trifling I got trifling results. Once I became a more honest man, I found a more honest woman.
Despite the harsh way you package your words on here that was really the most profound thing I’ve seen thus far. I really am in awe. I wish people in general will come to this realization in life.
kimmie
October 28th, 2010
10:38 am
Bad experiences aren’t failures for me; they are my springboard to better experiences.
Foots – We can shut it down with this!!!
It’s wonderful having you back in the fold!!
2CPTG© - "that dude from da innanet"
October 28th, 2010
10:39 am
“Once I became a more honest man, I found a more honest woman.”
“…….then I put away childish things”…..that’s whats up, Purp!
Blackfoote
October 28th, 2010
10:40 am
Purp:
Way to go man couldn’t have said it any better, believe me karma is a mutha.
Purple Rain
October 28th, 2010
10:41 am
kimmie, Okay, I think I can treat you better than taking you to Waffle House with a four pockets full of change. LOL, I know how to cook. Come home baby, come home..don’t mind my wife. LOL
kimmie
October 28th, 2010
10:42 am
I wish people in general will come to this realization in life.
YES – I totally agree!
Foots
October 28th, 2010
10:42 am
Oh and yeah, there always is something wrong with everybody I date, including me. My sweetheart has a thing about the phone; he is ALWAYS on it. He’s a busy man, yes, but he was like that when I met him six years ago. It’s just going to be his thing. Along with wanting me to be so involved in everything that’s going on with him, that he will answer the phone in ANY circumstance and either put me on speaker or bridge me into his current call. I appreciate the sentiment behind it, so I’m learning not to go off and just be glad that he wants me to be in the loop.
Besides, I have my own things for him to deal with…like that I tend to speak in “stream of consciousness”, so unless you’re paying close attention I can go from talking about the upcoming election all the way to how much I love Elmo. Dude can get completely lost.
SlimNumeroUno
October 28th, 2010
10:43 am
Dayum Purp….i’m going to nominate that statement as the Comment of the day (so far). Talking about TRUTH…hmph!
SlimNumeroUno
October 28th, 2010
10:44 am
FOOOOOOOTSSSS – how da heyal are ya? It’s been a minute and I missed your initial return to the blog.
blue®
October 28th, 2010
10:45 am
@I am – Fred is actually PR’s fault, since when i started blogging he told me i had to have a horse, so i adopted Fred…and i agree with kimmie, compromise is one thing, but theres only so far you can compromise…
@PR – Long story short when I was trifling I got trifling results. Once I became a more honest man, I found a more honest woman – well said!
kimmie
October 28th, 2010
10:45 am
Purple – Okay baby.
You can cook for me and I will eat and lay around and get chubby. It’s okay, because you can go do all your outdoor active stuff with your wife.!!!
Leggs ™
October 28th, 2010
10:45 am
OMG, jamming like Mr. Brown…he is one flexible man!
Purple Rain
October 28th, 2010
10:48 am
I am blushing now, LOL. I was not trying to be deep or profound.
YesSheIsCute, I am very brash and a straight shooter, but Im extremely loyal and love hard those that are close to me. I am who I am, LOL.
SlimNumeroUno
October 28th, 2010
10:49 am
blue – mail call
Foots
October 28th, 2010
10:49 am
Slim!! I missed you, Lady! I stopped in yesterday to say hello, and now I’m back in the mix (a little). I’ll be in and out today. How have you been?
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 28th, 2010
10:50 am
Ah, gotcha… Thanks, kimmie…
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
10:57 am
This topic is depressing…let’s get light
fRed
October 28th, 2010
10:57 am
canndi?
YesSheIsCute
October 28th, 2010
11:06 am
@ Celisea I’m with you new topic let’s keep it light. This has been reminiscing on all the relationships gone wrong. True enough I never got my feelings hurt until I got bit by the love bug. I hope I don’t get bit by the love bug for awhile.
SlimNumeroUno
October 28th, 2010
11:11 am
Foots – I missed you too Chica…I hope all has been good with you. Seems like it. I’ve been doing…just taking it one day at a time. How is your cuzzo, IF you’ve even talked to him. Last time we spoke he had just moved into his new crib.
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:19 am
Kimmie: “…. But when it’s SOOO one-sided, that’s a setup for resentment down the road!…”
Yep, that’s why I got out. Plus my instincts were telling me this isn’t right/fair. Always go with your gut.
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:19 am
YSIC…I know the intents was good but it’s sad dredging up all those old things…the wouldas couldas shouldas
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:20 am
intent was…
Leggs ™
October 28th, 2010
11:20 am
WTH, is Fred on here asking for canndi????
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:22 am
It is soooo (adjective) cold in this building!!!!
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:23 am
I Am…I have a heater…you should invest in one. It’s all nice and cozy, got my shoes off under my desk
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:24 am
Well, I’m not suppose to have one but I’ve had one since 98…this is the second one. My former manager bought the first one. That thing lasted about 8 years
Leggs ™
October 28th, 2010
11:24 am
If I didn’t have my heater, I would have to work in a fur coat!
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:25 am
Or a wilderbeast…this chick use to keep a throw…that thing was about as thick as a mattress. I asked what animal she killed and layed in her lap.
YesSheIsCute
October 28th, 2010
11:26 am
you need to have a down jacket on to work here. I have frostbite on my feet!
why it seems like everyone’s office is cold :S
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:26 am
How did fRed get on the blog.
blue – you let him loose?
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:26 am
Random:
I knew this was a bad bunch: http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/evil_sesame_street.jpg
SlimNumeroUno
October 28th, 2010
11:27 am
It’s freezing in here too! We used to have a heater in our office but Slimmy Slim leaves for the mountains for a few days, and comes back to an office where the heaters have been either confiscated or kidnapped.
Keeping me cold is definitely not a way to make me more productive i’ll tell you that!
blue¹
October 28th, 2010
11:27 am
@Slim – gotcha!
@Leggs – need a heater here, i am freezing!
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:27 am
Celsea: I’m scared I might blow a fuse if I do that.
My comp is already running on a breaker since one outlet is blown
Celisea
October 28th, 2010
11:28 am
I’m going to heat my spaghetti and eat it…I have wheat pasta…mmm mmm good. Think I’ll do Chili’s tonight
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:29 am
I am so not feeling today
and that is why I am spending my day on craigslist looking for free shiiiiI am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:29 am
I wonder if I run away for 30 mins, will my job notice I’m gone.
I am whatever you say I am
October 28th, 2010
11:30 am
naw…better not try it, but I am very much so entertaining the idea
as I hop on Fred. Yaaaa!