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Are we spending too much on dating?

Forget what you’ve seen on those crazy reality shows. Hot air balloon rides, horse-drawn carriages, and weekend excursions are not needed to create romance or keep someone interested. I’ve been wondering about the attitude a lot of single people have when it comes to money and dating.

Fact: You don’t need money to date. You need a personality. If at any time you feel compelled to spend cash to keep someone interested, it’s a problem.

Of course women like to feel special. I won’t argue that, but most women I know feel special when a guy gives them eye contact and listens to her. That’s totally free!

Why does it seem as if we throw money at dating in hopes that it will get us better results? I’m not just referring to men, either. There are some ladies that are doing way too much for men that they aren’t in a relationship with because they have something to prove.

Do you ever think that you spend too much money on dating? If you had to guess, how much money do you think your dates have cost for this year?

What is the appropriate time for large purchases such as trips, jewelry, new pair of breasts (ha!), or cash should be gifted? When more money is spent on dating, does it create more expectations? Does more money mean more problems? Discuss.

608 comments Add your comment

blue®

October 26th, 2010
8:37 am

Turning on the lights, alarm off….i said alarm off….oh this could get ugly….whats with the disco ball??

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
8:41 am

Well,well,well….My new and inproved sexy friend Blue is first up today!!! Morning Dear!!!! :)

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
8:41 am

inproved = improved ( its early)

2CPTG©

October 26th, 2010
8:45 am

good morning…

money and dates…..dates and money…..they go hand in hand….”When more money is spent on dating, does it create more expectations?” nah, ’cause if more money is spent, expectations have already been met….and more money doesn’t create more problems, it creates more options!!!

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
8:46 am

“Fact: You don’t need money to date.”

This is the kind of statement that leads guys to completely dismiss most things that women say about dating!!! Every guy know good and damn well that if you cash is suspect, you dating life is too. We just spent a whole day the other day getting drilled by the ladies because they don’t want to do home dates and now we hear this crock of BS that You can be broke and still actively date….. All I can say to that is HA!!!!

Kym

October 26th, 2010
8:46 am

Good Morning All,

I have not spent money on dating cause I am not doing that right now..and if I was I am still not spending money. Hair done..Nails..Done..that’s personal grooming and care..but when I here some folks talk about the money they are spending..I have to wonder what’s up with that. Call me cheap, frugual whateva..but..my friend sent me this line and I believe I have shared it once before.. It keeps me grounded anytime I get QVC fever..

“We spend money we don’t have, on things we don’t need, to create impressions that won’t last, on people we don’t care about.”

czBrat

October 26th, 2010
8:47 am

morning all (yawn)

never been involved with an over-the-top spender. someone who goes to excess wouldn’t be a good match for me. as for spending on a date, we do what we want (and can afford) when we want. there are plenty of times when the date is simply time at a park or at home; those are just as memorable.

hey blue!

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
8:47 am

“more money doesn’t create more problems, it creates more options!!!”

preach Bruh!!!! LOL

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
8:51 am

Morning CZ…I think you situation and that of others that are in long term commited relationships are a little different. A commitment simplifies things…. Active dating is soooo far away from where you are.

blue®

October 26th, 2010
8:56 am

Morning Simple Man :)
Morning cz – im with you, yawning my head off here….

Morning everybody….
Yes it takes money to date, but imo, a person who spends within their means gains more respect everytime than dude who spends to impress, and hopes to high heaven you dont see him on a day your not scheduled to see him, cause he’s busted as all he!! from your date.

Kym

October 26th, 2010
8:57 am

Simple..I think the majority stated they did not feel safe inviting any ole Tom..Frank..and Jo-Jo to their homes..not because they were looking for a paymaster.

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
9:03 am

Kym, I try really hard not to blast women for their approach to dating and I will not generalize about women cause I know nothing applies to everybody, but I have yet to have a woman that I asked out tell me no when I am in my good car, but when I drive my everyday car, its 50/50…I don’t think women undersatnd or are willing to admit if they do, but guys know that old saying is true..” No romance without finance”

czBrat

October 26th, 2010
9:06 am

A commitment simplifies things…. Active dating is soooo far away from where you are.

Hi Simple. i get what you’re saying, but since you mentioned the topic on home dates, you’ll recall i freely admitted to having no prob with that …. even in the very early stages of a relationship. so costly dates were not on our agenda from jump. doing some dates big and keeping some dates simple has been our M.O long before we reached this level of commitment.

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
9:17 am

Good morning everyone!

We all know that home dating isn’t about saving money all the time.

and Simple Man, I love how you spin your comments about your car and not address the type of women you are approaching, well played sir.

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
9:19 am

a footnote to the topic: when you lead with all the cash spending and spoiling and then get in a relationship and switch it up and she has to practically beg you for a egg mcmuffin deal ? hmm…that’s a recipe for disaster.

I am whatever you say I am

October 26th, 2010
9:21 am

:evil:
Morning all

Yes, I’m still mad you all locked me in the bathroom

Is dating expensive, well if you are a guy yes it is.
If you are girl, no not really.

I am whatever you say I am

October 26th, 2010
9:24 am

however…..
I don’t expect a guy to always spend money on me.
If it happens,it is a lovely surprise but not spending money will not be the caveat in the relationship.

Simple things mean the most to me: home baked cookies, dinner waiting for me when I come home, detailing the pimpstress mobile, heck…cleaning the house.
Those are things that I have had done for me without me asking or wishing and these are things that I remember far more versus that evening out.

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
9:25 am

OMG if a guy cleaned my kitchen I’d probably propose …

blue®

October 26th, 2010
9:25 am

@Simple Man – i think you missed the point on the home dates, for a lot of us it wasnt about you werent spending enough, it was about i wanna make sure you not charles manson b4 i take you to my house….

i think for most well balanced, mature women (in the attitude sense, not the geriatric) will understand a budget. now if you attract the unbalanced type, who spend their own rent money on shoes and expect you to do the same…well, time to start looking for a different type of chick

blue®

October 26th, 2010
9:26 am

@WD – when you lead with all the cash spending and spoiling and then get in a relationship and switch it up and she has to practically beg you for a egg mcmuffin deal ? Hilarious, but so true, start the way you wanna finish….
@i am – did they really lock you in here?

I am whatever you say I am

October 26th, 2010
9:29 am

Wise Diva: I didn’t get my kitchen cleaned (It’s always clean anyway) but I came home to laundry done and freshly mopped pergo floors :-)
I was shocked but in a good way.

I am whatever you say I am

October 26th, 2010
9:30 am

Yes Blue,
I had my magazines porn with me doing my business and all the sudden the lights go out and I hear doors locked.
I was HOT! :twisted:

DreamsMaterialize

October 26th, 2010
9:31 am

Morning
Fact: You don’t need money to date.
Cmon Dub D, we’ve talked about this until we were blue in the face. I’m good with numbers, and I can’t count the number of times that women (often on this very blog) have said, “if a guy’s broke, then he shouldn’t be dating.” Of course they dismiss the fact that broke women date ALL the time. No matter though, I’m only dating chicks who make more than me…the phase I’m in right now. lol

2CPTG©

October 26th, 2010
9:36 am

“No matter though, I’m only dating chicks who make more than me…”

Dreams, lotta folks (male and female alike), prolly won’t even be able to digest this, but I know exactly where ya comin from…..and you ain’t gotta be broke to understand the underlying concept behind this….

New Guy

October 26th, 2010
9:37 am

@Wise Diva: just a little note about your comment: “when you lead with all the cash spending and spoiling and then get in a relationship and switch it up and she has to practically beg you for a egg mcmuffin deal ? hmm…that’s a recipe for disaster.”

That’s kind of like when a woman sexes a man crazy before eating the sex life killing wedding cake and then flips the script before the cake even digest good…ALSO recipe for disaster…

ok…on topic.. If you know good and well your money isn’t long enough to sustain that kind of wanna be baller lifestyle don’t front about your funds in the beginning of the relationship…just be who you TRULY are and when you have it splurge and when you don’t conserve…sometimes it’s just common sense…

P.S.- Thank you Wise Diva for keeping these blogs interesting… ;-)

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
9:38 am

Dreams…The ladies are gonna play this one PC….We all know that women don’t give broke dudes the time of day! And Wisey, it does not matter who the women I approach are….If I am walking out of Kroger in a pair of Jeans anD I hop into a Ford Focus 2door hatchback (example) I may or may not catch Diva’s eye, But If I pull up in front of Uptown Comedy corner and Valet a 500SL, mental notes will be made!!!

YesSheIsCute

October 26th, 2010
9:41 am

I don’t spend for dating…been there done that when I was young. But if I’m in a relationship that is different and occasionally I get little things to let you know I was thinking of you, get dinner this time or that, etc.

I don’t think guys in atlanta spend enough quite honestly. A lot of guys try to make you feel like a gold digger because you expect to be taken out on a date and you expect to be treated like a lady. I didn’t say it had to be pappadeaux’s and I didn’t say I was ordering lobster. A nice regular chinese place would do fine and its cheap. I’m tired of them “‘lean back’ brothers….you know when the check comes all of a sudden they ‘lean back’” :lol:

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
9:46 am

For the record, I will debate this one all day, but I bet I have spent 6 or 7k on dating this year…..

YesSheIsCute

October 26th, 2010
9:47 am

@ Simple by the way been there done that with giving a broke dude the time of day…what’s the point in trying to “work” with someone who “may” have potential….they all didn’t end that well so I upped my standards…and yes there’s a reason they are “broke”….there’s a difference between a broke dude and a dude that knows how to use the few resources he has wisely…….

2CPTG©

October 26th, 2010
9:52 am

“I bet I have spent 6 or 7k on dating this year…..”

man to man (you put it out there)…..why? hoping to catch the “one,” or, simply cause it ain’t no thing….which I can respect, as well….

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
9:53 am

Cuteness….So now you are going to tell us that women (again generally speaking) are cool dating the 12.50 and hour guy??? Please forgive me If i am not buying that…..

Mr. Moe

October 26th, 2010
9:53 am

Morning blog…today starts the best time of the year…football and basketball seasons on tv…today is going to be a great day. We’ll see all those bandwagon Heat and Celtic fans come out tonight….

On topic:Im with the rest of the fellas on this one, women know good and well yall arent giving a broke brotha an opportunity to do anything. YSIC, I like how you think :D

DreamsMaterialize

October 26th, 2010
9:54 am

I know exactly where ya comin from…..and you ain’t gotta be broke to understand the underlying concept behind this…
2CPTG yeah I figured you could feel me on that one.

Dreams…The ladies are gonna play this one PC
Simple yeah I know. It’s always that way when it comes to the tough topics…

I’m tired of them “‘lean back’ brothers….you know when the check comes all of a sudden they ‘lean back’”
YesSheIsCute sweetie I’m callin’ bullshyte on this one, sorry. Has this happened to you more often than not? I’d be willing to bet it’s the minority of all dates. I’m just not buying that every time a woman goes out, dudes are expecting her to pay.

DreamsMaterialize

October 26th, 2010
9:56 am

I know exactly where ya comin from…..and you ain’t gotta be broke to understand the underlying concept behind this…
2CPTG yeah I figured you could feel me on that one.

Dreams…The ladies are gonna play this one PC
Simple yeah I know. It’s always that way when it comes to the tough topics…

I’m tired of them “‘lean back’ brothers….you know when the check comes all of a sudden they ‘lean back’”
YesSheIsCute sweetie I’m callin’ BS on this one, sorry. Has this happened to you more often than not? I’d be willing to bet it’s the minority of all dates. I’m just not buying that every time a woman goes out, dudes are expecting her to pay.

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
9:56 am

Dudes in nice cars…geesh, we off that. I have spotted AND macked on dude standing at the Marta bus stop. It’s hard to explain but some men have sex appeal oozing from their pores and you just want to know more about them…it’s a quality that catches the eye..*Kanye shrug*

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
9:56 am

Thank you so much new guy! These chumps take me for granted sometimes but I love them anyway LOL!

Kym

October 26th, 2010
9:58 am

@Simple…I am with Wisey D it is all in the women you are approaching. I would be more willing to date the guy in the hatchback cause I could possible convince him to go camping than I could the dude in the 500SL.

blue®

October 26th, 2010
9:58 am

like a lot of women, i prefer the simple guy, who isnt showing off how much hes got. id prefer the ford focus over the 500SL. im a simple gal, who likes to keep things simple and easy flowing, unpretentious, and thats the kinda guy im looking for. not everything is about deep pockets, he!! i aint got deep pockets, so i stay in my lane lol and avoid the conversation of shes only with im for the money….should an opportunity present itself for dude to be well off and hees got other qualities too, im not gonna be naive enough to say id turn it down, but it aint the money thats attracting me

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 26th, 2010
10:01 am

2Can @ 9:52

Honestly…I feel like going to nice places. Now I dow my share of sports bars and bar and grill kind of joints, But If I plan a dinner and I want seafood, then my fist will be a real seafood spot not Talapia at Applebees LOL

M. (pronouced M dot)

October 26th, 2010
10:01 am

Good day.

@Wise Diva @9:19

Like the saying goes….you finish how you start. If you start out trickin alot of money on a woman you just met, thats the level of expectation she will keep you at. You cant start out at level 10 and try to switch to level 1. You have to gradually upgrade everything if you think she is worth it.

I try to keep my dates under $50.00

Thats why I start out small because when I am just getting to know the woman and I dont know if I want to deal with her yet. So in the meantime, we can meet up for brunch, lunch, or happy hour until I deem it necessary to deal with her on the next level.

I think the appropriate time for next level purchases etc is when you two are more serious and when you know she would do it for you also; not just a one sided encounter.

AmazonRed™ - Cowboys lose. ha ha ha

October 26th, 2010
10:01 am

Morning all –

Yes, it definitely depends on how resourceful you are. Over the course of a month I’ve had a first date at a restaurant in the Ritz, and another first date at Cafe Intermezzo. And each guy had same shot. :lol:

I have to admit though, most guys don’t go creative, they go safe.

2CPTG©

October 26th, 2010
10:03 am

what’s broke? because I’m a lil shawt this week, does that mean I’m financially irresponsible?

I’mma use my own self as an example….bills paid, ain’t nothing lingering….but pockets ain’t sittin on swole……if I said, we gon have to wait til next week to do whatever, would you automatically assume I was broke?

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

October 26th, 2010
10:04 am

Morning all…

On topic: Can we just stop pretending here? It’s okay, honestly. There’s nothing wrong with traditional, old fashioned gender roles. But can we just please call a spade a spade? :lol:

Ladies, you all know good and well that you want to be courted & pampered to some extent and that will include having some $$ spent on you. Now of course, I know you all love those creative, romantic and cheap dates as well, but everybody in here knows that if those cheap dates are the only dates a dude ever takes you on, that dude is likely not going to stick around for long (unless maybe you’re both in college & it’s acceptable to be broke). And that’s okay. That’s not a bad thing; it doesn’t make you a gold digger; it’s understandable that you would want a guy who is at least financially stable enough to treat you to dinner or buy you some reasonable gifts from time to time (and who is gentlemanly enough to actually do these things as a course of habit). Guys (well most of us, anyway) understand this & are fine with it. But just please don’t pretend that it doesn’t factor into your decision-making process at all…

So, no, you don’t have to be Bill Gates to date, but if you’re a grown man, you’d better have your finances in order, I’ll tell you that much…
:lol:

Kym

October 26th, 2010
10:05 am

@blue..I am with you..I don’t like flashy..keep it simple.

Raqi

October 26th, 2010
10:05 am

but some men have sex appeal oozing from their pores

Exactly and it doesn’t take having a certain type of car wrapped around him.

AmazonRed™ - Cowboys lose. ha ha ha

October 26th, 2010
10:05 am

We all know that women don’t give broke dudes the time of day!

Morning Simple.

That’s not true. You can get in the door, but you HAVE to compensate for it in some way. For instance, you can’t date her and then wanna stay at home cuz you don’t have money to go out. You better find ways to still take her out without breaking the bank.

Mr. Moe

October 26th, 2010
10:05 am

@2Can your 10:03….I’m wondering the same thing

Wise Diva

October 26th, 2010
10:06 am

wait, are you guys asking people how much they make when you meet them or do you gather intel from how they represent…because you know Atlanta is notorious for perpetrators.

czBrat

October 26th, 2010
10:07 am

So now you are going to tell us that women (again generally speaking) are cool dating the 12.50 and hour guy??? Please forgive me If i am not buying that…..

Simple, all i can tell you is that your statement may very well apply to most but not all. so if you want to be loved for who you are, just keep being who you are and don’t worry about the money spent (lost) on all the ‘ms. wrongs’. there is no magical solution. it’s dating.

and speaking from a woman’s p.o.v … there are a lot of toads in very nice cars; it only takes one prince in a domestic hatch who treats me right to make me swoon.

AmazonRed™ - Cowboys lose. ha ha ha

October 26th, 2010
10:08 am

These chumps take me for granted sometimes but I love them anyway

WiseDiva – I give you props a lot. You never acknowledge them! Rude! ;)