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Is it fair to judge their ex?

A bunch of friends of mine had an interesting discussion the other day about people we totally regret dating. Heaven knows I have a squad of some pretty interesting characters in my dating history. One of the guys mentioned that he thought that a long history of bad dating choices was a red flag for him. It made him wonder about the choices that were made.

Now we all have people that we probably should never ever, ever have dated. At the same time, isn’t it all a part of the whole “finding the one” process? You try on a couple of great shirts until the right one fit? You may rock a butt ugly shirt that does not compliment you for far too long, but does that mean you are doomed to be in ugly shirts forever?

Awful analogy aside, what do you think about a person’s past mate selections? Have you ever met an ex of someone that you were dating and were slightly horrified at their association?

Is it a good idea to introduce your current significant other to an ex? Should the two ever need to speak to each other? I vote no, but what do you think?

487 comments Add your comment

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
8:26 am

Good morning Peeps….Pretty heady topic for a Monday!!!! Since I try really hard to make sure I part from exes on fairly decent terms, I would not have problem introduceing a current to an ex if they should ever come face to face. That being said, Why would anyone go out of their way to met the ex of a S/O????

Kym

October 25th, 2010
8:27 am

Good Morning All,

Is it a good idea to introduce your current significant other to an ex?
NO! Don’t Do it!

Should the two ever need to speak to each other? Never..ever..ever..if there are kids involved it has to happen but all that sitting chatting comparing notes..NO!

YesSheIsCute

October 25th, 2010
8:27 am

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
8:30 am

g’morning….

“Is it a good idea to introduce your current significant other to an ex?” —No…why?

“Should the two ever need to speak to each other?” —No, why?

sure M. didn’t come up this??? sure sounds like that mess he came up with….references and all that….

YesSheIsCute

October 25th, 2010
8:32 am

I don’t think so. There is absolutely no need for exes to meet or even know what the ex looks like. Unless they remain amicable and it is obvious that no chemistry further exists but situations like those are actually anomalies and not the norm.

I think knowing what the ex looks like or knowing the ex will only bring on neurotic thinking on behalf of the current s/o constantly comparing one self to this “ex” in search of…. reasons to believe we are superior or even confrontation of our insecurities b/c they looked like models and the s/o doesn’t……

I wouldn’t judge their ex but like you mentioned a string of consecutive heartbreaks does flag an error on the side of caution too many times. When all their exes are crazy btches or trifling men…it goes without saying that if it doesn’t work out you will probably be next on the list.

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
8:39 am

Morning Kym / Cuteness!! Hope you ladie shade great weekends!!!

2Can…’sup bruh??? How bout those Giants and Rangers!!!

YesSheIsCute

October 25th, 2010
8:41 am

Good morning everyone! Weekend was too short. Looking forward to this weekend coming up! :) How was your weekend Simple Man?

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
8:44 am

’sup Simple Man….yeah man, those Giants and Rangers both deserve it…they played awsomoe games…’specially the Giants….in Philly at that!

Hey Cutie….how are you today? come gimme a hug!

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
8:45 am

Cuteness , I had a great weekend, Thanks!!! My college roomie came to vist and we set it off!!! He left me with some Shyt to think onm But we had a great time non-the-less……

YesSheIsCute

October 25th, 2010
8:46 am

@ 2CPTG I’m doing ok so far so good…it was raining so heavy this morning! How are you? :grin:

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
8:47 am

I’m good, cuteness (I think that’s gon’ be my pet name for you…I like that)…

Kym

October 25th, 2010
8:52 am

Good Morning Simple..I did have a good weekend..The Nation chalked up another win and I am now switching into politics mode.

Voter

October 25th, 2010
8:53 am

OFF TOPIC: Did you hear Frank Ski go in on Nathan Deal this morning regaring the “Ghetto Grandmother” comment? I usually don’t agree with Frank, but on this one he is 100% right. Nathan deal (and I know this is not a political blog) is a racist. The problem, the people offended by his comments are not in the majority, but we should still make our voices heard … VOTE …

On Topic – We have all made some bad choices in our dating decisions, it happens … Ya live and ya learn …

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
8:56 am

Should have stayed home today!!! Between trying to recover from the weekend and this blah weather, This is gonna be a looooong day!!!

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:01 am

yeah, Kym, those Steelers look ghud!!!!

didya see them Bucs come from behind in the last minute to beat the Rams!!!! life is good….

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:17 am

is this thing broke? or folks just ain’t at work yet…..

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
9:22 am

I think the rain has er’body stuck in traffic on the connector….Maybe we should see if Kym and Cuteness want to go for breakfast……

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
9:22 am

Good Morning Everyone:

Can’t imagine anyone wanting to meet an ex, but you could cross paths with them while out with your new love interest. If that occurred I wouldn’t be inclined to introduce them just be cordial and keep going.

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
9:29 am

2C:

Both Bucs and Steelers eeked out wins, what can you say a win is a win. Bucs better be ready for the Birds afetr this bye week this will determine the south division.

blue®

October 25th, 2010
9:32 am

Morning all,
i sure enough almost turned around and went back home…i was just saying yesterday “some rain would be nice, on a day i dont have to go anywhere, so i can sit around and relax” seems that when i dont have to go anywhere part got micommunicated….
should our currents meet our exs? um, why? i say no.
should they be talking and what not? again, why? i say if there are children involved, do what you have to do, but dont expect current and ex to be besties….

Kym

October 25th, 2010
9:34 am

Let me go ahead and get this out of the way..cause I am pretty sure these fans are floating on some kind of Black and Sliver cloud right about now..

HOW ABOUT THEM RAIDERS!!..Amazon and PoppaG are going to be absolutely impossible to deal with this week. Denver Broncos..you are the Bamas of the Week!

@2C…yeah the Bucs got one..and so did the Ravens..Ray Lewis..still got it.

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:34 am

Blackfoote…..and I’ll be right there in the Dome when the Bucs spank that ass!!!

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:39 am

“Denver Broncos..you are the Bamas of the Week!”

yeah, that was pathetic…..and what’s up with them 49′ers….they can’t catch a break for shyt….and if Dallas loses tonight, Wade Phillips oughta be fired in the locker room!

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
9:40 am

2C:

LOL…..we let one get away Kym’s (Steelers) but the Bucs too crucial for the division to let them think they are that good.

kimmie

October 25th, 2010
9:43 am

Hey Gang! Happy rainy Monday!

On topic – Unless you’ve got kids, don’t see why exes need to meet. If you all are out and run into each other, be civil and keep it moving. Real simple.

Now, a dude that seems to have a “type” that includes crazy would definitely be a red flag for me. Especially if it’s to the extent that this is a widely known issue for him. It’s been my experience, and it’s something I learned early, that dude will expect ME to be the same crazy. As in, “this is what I like and am used to, so if you want to retain my interest, excite me, this is what I’ll expect of you.” No deal. Or, it could be a sign that dude likes drama, and we all know some people thrive on it. I can’t help him with that.

Kym

October 25th, 2010
9:45 am

@Blackfoote..y’all are some lucky jokers..cause if the Bungals had been on it in the first half like they were in the 2nd..they might have stewed y’all..oh and the Steelers have not lost a home season opener in seven years…SEVEN I like that number.. Dallas we coming for number seven….!!!

czBrat

October 25th, 2010
9:45 am

HiYas!

Have you ever met an ex of someone that you were dating and were slightly horrified at their association?
does it count that i mistook s/o’s ex for a 12-year-old boy? i’m not even exaggerating. she is small, skinny, short hair and was wearing baggy khakis and a baseball cap. :shock:

anywho, looks like i’m in the minority again. big surprise :lol: i have no prob with s/o meeting exes. i’m still cool with them and no dating regrets. i welcome any opportunity to meet and get to know his exes too.

decided to make it a late morning at work. weather is easing up so i guess i better get going.

Mo (aka Moeisha - I so hate Mondays)

October 25th, 2010
9:48 am

Morning All!

Should ex’s meet – nope, however it can/does happen. The man I dated before my ex hubby, he and I went to the same high school and church. So it was inevitable that the ex-hubby would meet him. And of course whoever I have a relationship with will meet ex-hubby because of Lil Mo. It is what it is….

Okay I need to down this cappucino, I’ll lurk for a while since I was late to work. Freakin ATL traffic…..

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
9:49 am

CZ >>>>>>>>>> here <<<<<<<<<<<<< Simple Man 2.0!!!

(BTW morning)

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
9:49 am

Kym:

7 we’re speaking of number of wins this year are we?……..LOL

blue®

October 25th, 2010
9:50 am

One of the guys mentioned that he thought that a long history of bad dating choices was a red flag for him – i dont understand how conversations on the exs come up so often. i mean, what need do we have to discuss myex history. i can understand 1 or 2 may stand out in your mind and questions arise, but 1 or 2 does not make a pattern/history. to have developed that idea we have talked about way more than, say – my last ex, the father of my son, the one you know broke myheart, whatever…why are we talking so much about them in the first place?

Voter

October 25th, 2010
9:51 am

Oh, and since the topic has turned to football, Go COWBOYZ … But don’t forget about 11/2 …

Wise Diva

October 25th, 2010
9:53 am

Good morning! I hope everyone gets through this monsoon weather safely.

and yes what a great weekend for sports! Falcons and crimson tide won, I’m happy.

on topic: would it bother you if the ex was a stripper?

Kym

October 25th, 2010
9:54 am

@Blackfoote..I mean 7 as in Lombardi trophies..of which the Steelers have six..(the most of any other NFL team) how many y’all got?

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:56 am

g’morning, Mo….you aiiight this morning, sweetness….

Simple Man 2.0...New and Improved!!!!

October 25th, 2010
9:56 am

Come on now Miss Diva….. How many folks on here are going to openly admit to having dated a stripper????

czBrat

October 25th, 2010
9:57 am

imo, understanding past relationships (the good and the bad) helps us make better choices that build stronger relationships. i don’t ask anywhere near as many questions as s/o does, but he’s the ‘communicator’; so he needs info in order to process and understand. i tend to observe and connect the dots.

morning back atcha, simple. :)

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
9:57 am

WISE D:

I’m with that other Bama team, you know the one with big qb that’s running over anyone in his way. Plus their ranked no 3 in the nation.

2CPTG©

October 25th, 2010
9:58 am

“would it bother you if the ex was a stripper?”

is this question for the ladies?

And your Crimson Tide gon’ meet their match in the iron bowl this year…Auburn and Cam Newton ain’t playin!!!!

kimmie

October 25th, 2010
9:58 am

i dont understand how conversations on the exs come up so often. i mean, what need do we have to discuss myex history.

blue- This is just what I was thinking. Because ex conversations really never have come up much with me. The situation I mentioned concerned a dude I met in college that had a crazy ex. He talked about her quite a bit and it was obvious he missed some of that crazy.

I just don’t see the point. But a good friend was dating a guy whose ex stalked them and confronted them on a date. It was not pretty.

Kym

October 25th, 2010
10:00 am

@Wisey..if the ex’s girlfriend was a stripper I know I don’t want to met her. I know me..I will spend half the night trying to figure out what she did that I can’t do..plus I am a visual thinker..Nawww…it will only cause me stress.

Mo (aka Moeisha - I so hate Mondays)

October 25th, 2010
10:00 am

2CPTG – after I WOO-SAH I should be fine. Rain and ATL do not mix! How are you?

Blackfoote

October 25th, 2010
10:02 am

Kym:

That is very impressive and we have none but I’m telling this is going to be the year.

Kym

October 25th, 2010
10:02 am

Okay what word in my post is wrong..stripper or stress.

kimmie

October 25th, 2010
10:03 am

Simple – I don’t see what the big deal would be about admitting you dated a stripper. Who is anyone to judge? Folks come on here all the time talking about how they slept with folks on the first date, swing, menage’, you name it. Dating a stripper seems rather mild to me. Why suddenly get all “moral” about dating a stripper?

Kym

October 25th, 2010
10:03 am

@Blackfoote..bless your heart..the idea that the Aint’s got one and y’all don’t the pressure is too much.

Kym

October 25th, 2010
10:05 am

okay stripper post take two..I don’t want to know..again I don’t want to meet her.

Leggs ™

October 25th, 2010
10:06 am

Good morning everyone! 285 is a joke

C tha 1

October 25th, 2010
10:06 am

This is why its not a good idea to remain close friends with an ex. For example, my wife and I went to a party hosted by one of her close friends last night. Long story short, my wife was laughing at how the hostess had three of her exes all casually talking to one another and none of them knew they actually dated the hostess. I found that to be some apalling BS! In my past I’ve raised hell over smaller issues than to be in a situation where I was conversing with my exe’s past, present and probably future boyfriend. Fellas please beware of the FZ because a woman will put you in some of the most compromising positions if you bend to their will.

AmazonRed™ - A happy Raiders fan!

October 25th, 2010
10:08 am

Morning lovelies! I hope everyone had a FANTASTIC weekend!

Yeah…you can judge a person on their mate selection if they keep making the same stupid choices. I have a couple of girlfriends who are stuck on stupid when it comes to men. And keep dating the same TYPES of losers.