Spooky single behavior
I know we all like to think that we are perfect and have absolutely no problem at all getting a date. The reality is that every one of us have our own set of unique issues. Sometimes we are the reason a relationship doesn’t work out. Yes, we are the misadventure for someone else.
Don’t believe me? Just take a couple of hours and interview your last three exes. I’m sure you will be enlightened! We are flawed and beautifully human and that’s a great thing. Sometimes taking a little self-inventory and doing a self-assessment can go along way. Are you showing some scary spooky behavior that may be ruining your chances at romance?
Halloween is just days away, so what better time to figure out your own scary behavior! I’ll start: I think a lot of men get spooked when I get all argumentative. I admit that I can get too caught up in being right (um, when I’m right, that is.) and I don’t know when to shut up and listen. My ex gave me a little advice about that “too passionate” about what you believe in and as hard as it was to hear it, I got what he was saying.
Now I won’t just keep quiet to appear as if I have no opinion, but I have learned to pick my battles, and communicate more effectively. I don’t always get it right but I’m making an effort so I think it counts for something.
What about you? What do you think you have done or are doing now, that could spook a potential?
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373 comments Add your comment
Hombre
October 18th, 2010
10:17 am
@tazz…yeah it was great meeting you and your hubby!
lysa
October 18th, 2010
10:17 am
Do I spook a guy? Probably so, I’ve heard more than once that I think about things too much?! I seriously, honestly don’t know what that means. I think I am hopeless.
I have been in a major, major drought, for mainly emotional (Ex-boyfriend broke my heart when he married someone else) reasons and getting back into dating is soo scary. I almost have a panic attack every time I get ready to see my new guy. I am unfortunately, a very sexual person so after enduring this long drought, I finally met this guy that I’ve decided might be okay to spend some time with, and all I can think about is “oh my lord, what will he be like in bed”! We’ve gone out to dinner once, I didn’t really eat because I was too distracted by my thoughts. I’d really like to actually get to know him, but again as soon as I see him, all I want to do is rip his clothes off and mangle him! This is soo not good. What is a nice place to go for after work drinks, not dark and intimate, but maybe busy (not loud) and entertaining.
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
10:20 am
@Tazzee Mae ~ MUAH…Thank you!! It was good seeing you and Mr. J….on (LOL). So use to your blog name!!
@blackfoote ~ that corner is no joke!! J/K
@blue ~ whoa is right…Inviting is all I can do. Hmmmm, perhaps next time I’ll pull out the whip and snatch some folk up!!!
@Hombre ~ it could be out little spot like “Cheers”…♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪sometimes you want to go where everyone knows your name, and they’re all glad that you came….♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ You show up or you don’t.
Hombre
October 18th, 2010
10:23 am
@lysa…dont drank…lol…that only adds to it..waffle house is the most non-romantic place to hit…lol…that or starbucks..so that covers a drink and not intimate
czBrat
October 18th, 2010
10:28 am
”…♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪sometimes you want to go where everyone knows your
namemoniker, and they’re all glad that you came….♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪where is melo? that post is right up his alley.
blue, it definitely takes a secure man to be ok with a woman with male friends. kudos to mr. blue for being able to see past the threat.
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
10:30 am
@lysa ~ I am grinning from ear to ear. That was one of the most honest posts written in a long time. However, I can’t give much advice but can say this. Stop thinking about ripping his clothes off while you’re at dinner. That constant thought will show by that gleam in your eyes, and before you know it you’ll be licking your lips and your plate of food has already been taken away.
Mo (aka Moeisha )
October 18th, 2010
10:31 am
Happy Monday All! (if there is indeed such a thing, LOL!)
Hombre – whats good, happy belated
SexyCool – hope you enjoyed yourself and sorry I missed out!
On topic – Ive been told that my ‘emotionless-ness’ is an issue. yeah, well……..
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 18th, 2010
10:32 am
Morning, folks…
On topic: WD, I have no idea what you are talking about. I am perfect in every way. And if you don’t believe it, just ask me.
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
10:32 am
@czB ~ you’re right, moniker!!!
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
10:34 am
@Mo ~ I’m sitting here wondering if my “non-chalantness” can be deemed as spooky…sometimes I just don’t give a damn!
Simple Man!!!!
October 18th, 2010
10:39 am
lysa
Ok….I feel your post and would like to offer some advise that may or may not sit well with the blog ladies….
The next chance you get…Go ahead and do him…. Find a chance and get somewhere and rude him like a rented mule!!! This will do two things….
first, you get achance to get some of the urge off your chest and
second you get to find out if his bed game is worth the continued effort…..
SexyCool
October 18th, 2010
10:40 am
Three Words Daily – Live every second.
Hombre
October 18th, 2010
10:41 am
@mo….you would be a millionaire if you played poker…you are ICE COLD……ICE COLD…
LukasAtl
October 18th, 2010
10:41 am
Don’t date or get involved with an ex-prostitute. They have very serious issues, that most of us do not understand and lack the skills and experience to handle appropriately.
SexyCool
October 18th, 2010
10:41 am
Hey Blue. Hayze days. Lazy days. Crazy days.
evy
October 18th, 2010
10:43 am
wassup, chilluns? glad to hear you all had a good time friday – hear my ratgirl outed me, too – growl; btw – what blue really means by ‘down-to-earth’ is ‘undead’ – did you all miss that fri? she probably had her fool-the-mortals contacts in – her eyes are not really brown y’know, they’re red…
Hombre
October 18th, 2010
10:44 am
@sexycool….thanks for the PR
@lukas…random…lol
czBrat
October 18th, 2010
10:44 am
may or may not sit well with the blog ladies…… actually, most blog ladies would probably say just be true to yourself. whether that means jumping him or holding off. you’re a grown woman. take ownership of your actions and don’t cry about it after.
mark
October 18th, 2010
10:45 am
wow! hey everybody its been a longtime how u all been?
Hey Leggs
!
blue®
October 18th, 2010
10:46 am
@Leggs – ”…♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪sometimes you want to go where everyone knows your name, and they’re all glad that you came….♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ i like it…i want to be Norm tho, not Cliff…
@cz – yeah, that has created some issues for me along the way, but hey my friends are my friends, esp the olld ones…mr.blue is good tho ( ♥ ) . i think its just that i’ve hypnotized him with my boobs is all, lol….
@lysa – alright, that whole post had me cracking up, but can see your dilemma, have had that issue b4, it gets very distracting. i agree with Leggs tho, watch out or pretty soon you’ll be sitting there with yours eyes glassed over, drooling alittle while you lick your lips and he’ll go running for the hills. i say keep the drinks, they make tough situations more tolerable…try Vortex, on Wednesdays (i think thats the day) they have Drinking Bingo, oughta be entertaining!
Mo (aka Moeisha )
October 18th, 2010
10:49 am
Leggs – LOL @ your 10:34! Right!
Hombre – c’mon now….Im not that bad! LOL!
Delight23
October 18th, 2010
10:49 am
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 18th, 2010
10:49 am
lysa — Following up on Simple’s advice — if you are afraid of screwing things up with this new guy if you jump him too soon, then you could always just have a therapeutic romp with some other random dude that you don’t care about. This would at relieve some of the angst (royalty check is in the mail, Melo) from the drought & clear your mind for your potential dude. I’m sure you could find any number of dudes (many here on this blog) who would be happy to offer their services…
lysa
October 18th, 2010
10:50 am
@Simple Man You know, I had that same thought, just do it already and get it out of the way. Then maybe I can think of something other than how well he might be endowed. The problem is, I kind of like him, he has plenty of really good characteristics, (besides the bulge in his pants) and I think that if I do what my body wants to do, well you know what he’ll probably think. Oh my Lord, I’m hopeless! I don’t know what to do, I’m so confused I think I should just stop seeing him already.
SlimNumeroUno
October 18th, 2010
10:54 am
Good morning all…
Leggs – did I get black listed? I got the invite but later got that it was canceled….
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
10:54 am
@Mark ~ hey there…how are things with you.
@lysa ~ seriously though, if you want to jump his bones then jump his bones. No one will call you names when you get back to school!!! Do you!
@SexyC ~ the love you have for your sister is front and center. Glad to see sisters so close!
blue®
October 18th, 2010
10:55 am
@Lukas – um…good to know? (how do i make a crazy face?
)
@SexyC – Heyy there…Lazyy Dayys…now im singing…not a good look in my cubicle with people passing by, lol….
@evy – undead? i did apply but someone forgot to bring me my “introduction to being undead” booklett…if i were undead this d@mn mosquitoe bite should be no problem (arrgggg, it itchesss…what kind of place still has mosquitoes in OCTOBER???)
LovelessinAtl
October 18th, 2010
10:59 am
late morning to everyone,
@lysa- a male friend (of course) gave me this advice, before your date use your B.O.B. so you won’t be so heated while on the date. He said men do it, women should too.
Be easy!
2CPTG© -- hatin' this morning!
October 18th, 2010
11:00 am
oh well, no invite to the shindig this past weekend……
at least Florida State won….
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
11:02 am
@lysa, ok, you just said it…if you do what your body wants to do he may not think the best of you. Let me ask you this, has he made any sexual advances toward you? Have you guys played the sexual innuendo game yet?? The body will lead you wrong when you don’t apply some thought to it. Lust has slain many…
@SlimNU ~ you seemed a little confused when you first got the invite. I had to cancel then things opened up where I could make it and I resent the evite out. I thought I sent it to all I sent the first one too. Awww shucks, I’m sorry. Hopefully, you’ll be able to make the next one.
@Evy ~ wow you pop on the blog, collect your vest and then skidaddle. Glad you see you’re back!
DreamsMaterialize
October 18th, 2010
11:03 am
Morning
I don’t like to talk about shyte that’s bothering me. I take it on the chin when I need to and keep moving forward. Most people never know when there’s something going on with me. Many women don’t like this because they say it feels like I’m shutting them out.
The meetup sounds like it was real cool. Sorry I couldn’t make it out. Hope to catch the next one and actually meet some of these folks I been blogging with for years. lol
Simple Man!!!!
October 18th, 2010
11:03 am
lysa….What can go wrong with just fuggin him now??? Especially if you are gonna drop him cause you can’t can’t get out of your own way??? It sounds to me like you are more concerned with knocking his Head off than being in a realtionship with him. If that’s the case, I am sure some Supa hot Rabbit Dancing will be an acceptable going away present for him when you catch out….
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
11:04 am
@2C ~ you know I would never intentionally leave you off the invite list.
Blackfoote
October 18th, 2010
11:04 am
I know 2C and my Fakecons lost and played like they were high school. Still fuming, Leggs where do I put my e-mail addr?
czBrat
October 18th, 2010
11:05 am
what blue really means by ‘down-to-earth’ is ‘undead’ – did you all miss that fri?
evy, her shoes gave her away! LMAO
2CPTG© -- hatin' this morning!
October 18th, 2010
11:05 am
I’m boycottin y’all….
ummm, there’s this chic on the front page of ajc.com, down in the section where it shows who “likes” the ajc on facebook…..her name is Shunika…gal, if you’re lurkin, come holla at me!
evy
October 18th, 2010
11:06 am
@leggs: awww, shucks, ma’am, i’m that, sorry, i am – been alotta stuff goin on in my little corner of heaven lately – but i’m glad you’re glad i’m back
evy
October 18th, 2010
11:07 am
@ brat: lol, yeah her shoes will do her in one day…
lysa
October 18th, 2010
11:09 am
@LovelessinAtl : Very good idea, I’ll try that.
and @Leggs: You are so right, I’ll have to try harder>
@Simple Man: I know this is a stupid problem to have, but just thought I might be able to get some insight from others. After spending 3 + years recovering from a bad break up, I’m just trying to get right.
evy
October 18th, 2010
11:09 am
totally off-topic @blue: your hacker self meddled with this site b4 you sent me the link, didn’t you? tryna make heads or tails of it…
Blackfoote
October 18th, 2010
11:11 am
Wait something aint right.
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 18th, 2010
11:12 am
“After spending 3 + years recovering from a bad break up, I’m just trying to get right.”
Ah… See now, that is the problem. The best medicine after a bad breakup is a heavy dose of good, old-fashioned, medicinal sport f@#king… As Peaches would say… “F@#k the pain away…” (good song, BTW)…
czBrat
October 18th, 2010
11:12 am
i was completely
reading the headline about lance armstrong having his 5th child. then i realized it’s the biker not the astronaut (neal). *whew*
seriously, it was really cool meeting the bloggers who came out friday. a good time was had by all. there are a few others i hope to meet next time around.
Delight23
October 18th, 2010
11:13 am
why is the phrase “rub one out” going through my mind?
Leggs ™
October 18th, 2010
11:14 am
Blue’s shoes were FIERCE!!!
In dating or just getting to know a person, the one thing I truly find spooky are the “drive bys” in the middle of the night checking to see if any cars are in your driveway, or simply the stalker move of parking across from your home watching you. That’s spooky!
2CPTG© -- lookin' for new blog friends!
October 18th, 2010
11:14 am
“it was really cool meeting the bloggers who came out friday. a good time was had by all.”
you trynna rub it in?
2CPTG© -- lookin' for new blog friends!
October 18th, 2010
11:16 am
ooops, wrong face…..
<~~~~ that's more like it.
Delight23
October 18th, 2010
11:16 am
Leggs ™ My stalker-esque home date did that…got issues with home date a la the prvious blog.
Simple Man!!!!
October 18th, 2010
11:18 am
lysa
Gotta ask…How long has it been since you got your oil changed?????
For Real
October 18th, 2010
11:18 am
What up Blog Fam
It was great seeing everyone and I agree with Hombre. Much blessing to you bruh on your B-Day. And Happy B-Day to Scool.
On topic: Spooky behavior, let me think, thinking, thinking, Imma go with naw I ain’t got none. But I can’t stand stupid people or indecisive people. Imma ask you once and you got 3 minutes to answer. If you hem and haw we gon do what I want.
lysa: Here is my advice, when you start getting the urge to rip his clothes off excuse yourself to the lady’s room and then knock one or two off.