Confidence is sexy. Arrogance? Not so much
Most of you can probably relate to this situation. You spot someone extremely attractive and then you spark up a conversation with them. Within a few minutes, you immediately realize that this person thinks highly of themselves. Yes, the arrogance of the person is so overwhelming you are stunned they even notice you standing there.
Everyone knows that having a good self-esteem is absolutely mandatory for dating with no drama. It’s also important to have a health dose of humility! No one wants to sit through a complete self-love fest between someone and their over inflated ego.
I’m certainly guilty of taking confidence too far, but what do you do when you meet someone who is a little too arrogant? If that is the only thing that is really causing you apprehension, can it be a deal breaker?
Have you ever dated someone with too much confidence or do you think there is such a thing?
The other day I read somewhere that women aren’t attracted to men who doubt themselves. Do you think that women contribute to the rampant arrogance of men? Do men also get turned off by a woman who is not confident?
When do you think confidence crosses over to cockiness? Which one to you think you are?
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357 comments Add your comment
Wise Diva
October 5th, 2010
8:13 am
Good morning everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic day
SlimNumeroUno
October 5th, 2010
8:18 am
Well, well, well….is my blog door key actually working this morn? Let’s stick it in and see. Here goes————-?
SlimNumeroUno
October 5th, 2010
8:27 am
Dayuuuuuuuuum, it’s actually works!!! Hi five & Hot dayum Wise Diva!
On topic – Oh yes yes yes yes I have dated a dude who was TOOOOOO much into himself. He was constantly talking about himself, constantly in the mirror, constantly talking about his wardrobe, constantly about how chicks are falling over him, blowing his phone up etc. To me it was so over the top that it almost turned into an insecurity. Arrogance/Co-ckiness is a definite turn off to me and I’m not sure if that made him try to approach me differently because I wasn’t all up in his grill. I recall one time I did a little test to see just how long he would talk about himself. He invited me to one of his company basketball games, of which I decided to take him up on the invite. (the first game so the team had not yet found it’s chemistry…long story short, they lost) Anyhoo, he talked to me the whole 40 minute ride home on the phone and every bit of that convo was about him. When I tried to throw a topic change in there he somehow fanagled it to turn back to him. It was hilarious. I brought it to his attention and basically asked him how was he planning on getting to know me when he never inquired about anything regarding me because frankly i was tired of hearing him talk about him. He of course took offense to it but it was true…I seriously couldn’t take it so I basically stopped dating him. He’ll call or text me from time to time saying crazy stuff about when am I going to be ready for something real. Slim keeps it moving
2CPTG©
October 5th, 2010
8:37 am
g’morning.
to one’s own self it may be called confidence, but to the next person it may be construed as arrogance….so it’s all relative.
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
8:37 am
Good Morning Wise Diva!!
OOOHHH!!!!!!!!! Croisants, omelets, coffee, and donuts!!!
WISE!!! you shouldn’t have!!!!!
THANKS!!!!! Nom nom nomm….nom…on topic…nom…nom..
Okay, scuse me for talking..nom…nom…..nom….with my ….nom….mouth full….nom….
Arrogance is a huge turn off!!!!! Confidence is sexy but humbleness gets me hot like fiyah
Humbleness is super duper sexy fly!!!
blue™
October 5th, 2010
8:40 am
Morning all,
morning WD/ Slim!
im def with the idea that confidence is sexy, arrogance not. ive always liked guys who are quiet but confident about what they bring to the table, from things like their own intelligence to their ability to beat some @-hole in the bar. but dude who is always talking about how great they are, and running around screaming about how you know he can whoop somebody, just not my style. 2 of my top action guys (Jason Statham and Jet Li) love em cause we all know they can whoop someones @ss but they dont go around talking about it all the time….
Purple Rain
October 5th, 2010
8:42 am
Arrogance and cockiness is loud, confidence is silent until bothered. That’s the difference to me. I have dated someone who saw no wrong in herself ever. I do not know what category that fell into but I did not like it.
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
8:44 am
Morning all!!!
What a surprise!!! Breakfast and a team of beautiful ladies to share it with!!! How lucky can one man be!!!
2can..Whats good Bruh???
Breakingofdawn
October 5th, 2010
8:46 am
I’ve defiantly ran into the extra confidence men, it’s an extreme turn off to the umpteenth degree. Prime example I was out watching football Sunday, ran into a kat that I meet a few months back. Off the bat he had stalker tendencies so I quickly dropped his numbers into the DNA category. He’s like “don’t you see how all the women are checking me out in here and you’re the only one ignoring me.” I’m like dude you’re not my type; granted the outside package is excellent and due to he is really handsome and fine he thinks every women should falling all over him. I refused to give him my new number.
I like the “don’t have to beat my chest” type confidence. The alpha male without the A on his chest is best I can describe it.
*blue, I do love me some Jason S. and the kid that plays on Dark Blue, Logan Marshall Green. The very strong confident but slightly arrogant without the full attitude type men that can say much with just a look. Ok it’s too early in the morning for these hot flashes.
Lady-Confidence is Sexy, Awareness is Key~
October 5th, 2010
8:46 am
Good Morning MIA Crew!!!!
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
8:47 am
Simple dude: LOL! you got me singing that song “…how lucky can one guy be…..”
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
8:47 am
Mernin Purple!
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
8:52 am
My day always gets better when I am is in the building!!
Lady-Confidence is Sexy, Awareness is Key~
October 5th, 2010
8:59 am
No one wants to sit through a complete self-love fest between someone and their over inflated ego. <————-Say it ain't so! I met this person and went out on a few dates and it is mind blowing how self absorb this person is….looking back I am realizing he made himself that doggone important bc in the grand scheme his 9-5 functioned well before he was promoted……..Ego can be dangerous………
Purple Rain
October 5th, 2010
8:59 am
I Am, good morning
blue, Jason Statham is an actor who is about 4″11 he is not beating up anyone except for the kids at the bus stop. Jet Li, will put the smack down he is a martial artist who has gotten into acting. LOL
Breakingofdawn
October 5th, 2010
9:00 am
*PR is he really that short? WOW!
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
9:01 am
Awwww, thank you Simple dude.
Bruce Lee will always be the greatest! RIP
anonymousella
October 5th, 2010
9:02 am
when i meet someone arrogant, i make note that this is a behavior i do not wish to emulate. then i tune them out. if there is a 3rd person nearby, i might give them a look like “this person is an insufferable blowhard, isn’t (s)he?” but usually i tune them out and “mm-hmm” at the appropriate intervals.
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
9:02 am
Wow 4′11?
At that short, he can ride in your purse.
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
9:03 am
LOL! Kinda like a polly pocket
2CPTG©
October 5th, 2010
9:05 am
What’s up, Simple Man….
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
9:05 am
I use to want to fight Chuck Norris!! He is another Short guy that flexes like he is bad…But since he is like 65 now…there would be no fun in beating up the old dude…..
blue™
October 5th, 2010
9:06 am
@Simple Man – hiiiii
@BOD – oh, i forgot about him, thats the kid who plays Dean right? yeah, i like him too..that simple I know i can kick your @ss, yuo know it, we dont need to talk about it….
I ammmmmm!!!mernin…
@PR – is he really taht short? d@mn…aww he!!, may just have to make an exception to the short rule then, lol…could always replace him with Dwayne Johnson, lol…as far as crazy cocky, dont you know that defined the one Italian i dated, lol…are you all like that?lol
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
9:11 am
Sup Blue!!!
BLUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (saying it like the dude from Old School)
Chink
October 5th, 2010
9:15 am
Arrogance … I can’t lie I have dated arrogant aholes …was more like a challenge to me. But those were the days that I liked to play around.
Most of the times I like those qwirky smart guys who have cute jokes…but they never really approach me.
A Humble man is very sexy to me…hard pressed to find a guy who has just the right balance…I think most of the times you have to help keep men grounded. I honestly think it helps the relationship more if you can do that with love.
Lady-Confidence is Sexy, Awareness is Key~
October 5th, 2010
9:29 am
test
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
9:32 am
Should be interesting to hear the ladies continued take on this one…I want to see how the responses compare to what I think I see regarding this….
blue™
October 5th, 2010
9:37 am
@i am – lol, laughter, good way to start the morning….
@Chink – I think most of the times you have to help keep men grounded. surprised the guys havent jumped on this one, but i will agree with you that some guys do behave this way, its like their peacocks constantly strutting their feathers and you gotta keep reminding that just makes them a bigger target, lol…
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
October 5th, 2010
9:42 am
I actually think arrogance is a sign of insecurity — i.e. overcompensating for some shortcoming, whether real or imagined. Confidence, as Purple stated, is not bombastic.
Off topic: Now this is taking the whole “it wasn’t me” defense to a whole new level…
AmazonRed™
October 5th, 2010
9:45 am
Ha ha…there is definitely a line between confidence and cocky. I’m trying to determine now. Exchanged numbers with a guy and his first text to me was “remember me, you know the handsome chocolate brother with the awesome smile?” Well okay. Hello to you too.
I called him “Mr. Confident” in my response. Then upon the first convo he was trying to get himself invited over for dinner! Um…yeah… I’m hoping my gracious side will win out on this one and I don’t have to crack his face! 
Morning all.
Blackfoote
October 5th, 2010
9:50 am
Good Morning All:
Glad to know ladies here likes men that are confident and balanced with humbleness.
DC Rose
October 5th, 2010
9:50 am
Good morning Blog folks!
@Blue and Evy – I’ve really enjoyed reading you guys the last few days. Great writing styles with attitude!
On topic – I think Diva met my ex! I did the timing thing too. He talked about himself for 3 hours one night! All he needed was the occasionaly mmhmm to keep him going. At the end he asked why I was so quiet. I almost peed my pants laughing.
I agree with Purple – he was overcompensating for his shortcomings by constantly talking about himself. After we split, my gf’s told me they never liked his arrogant @ss. Too arrogant = low self esteem imo.
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
9:53 am
Morning ARED….Can you pllease do me a favor and let Mr. Smileyman know that the line forms over HERE(LOL)…He is gonna have to wait his turn! Hard as I have been tryng, he can not just jump to the front of Chasing ARED line!!!!:D
AmazonRed™
October 5th, 2010
9:54 am
Can you pllease do me a favor and let Mr. Smileyman know that the line forms over HERE
I will let him KNOW!
czBrat
October 5th, 2010
10:04 am
HiYas!
very happy to report i have no experience meeting (nor being)an arrogant date. i do think 2can’s first post sums it up nicely.
interesting concept that arrogance can either be born of insecurity or a mask for it … or both. hmmmmm?
SlimNumeroUno
October 5th, 2010
10:14 am
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out’?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
czBrat
October 5th, 2010
10:18 am
where’s abc? i bet he could answer that last one for ya Slim.
I am whatever you say I am™
October 5th, 2010
10:19 am
Hiya Swiss!!!
Purple Rain
October 5th, 2010
10:21 am
Slim glue has a solvent that slowly evaporates when it hits air that causes it to stick. When it’s in the bottle there is limited air so that solvent can’t properly evaporate, that is why it does not stick in the bottle. Ever notice how the tip will stick sometimes? It’s because the solvent has evaporated.
CoolShadow
October 5th, 2010
10:23 am
The threshold between confidence and arrogance can be razor thin. Thus someone you are enthusiastic about can make one too many comments about their glorification of self and then become a turn-off. Nobody wants to deal with someone with the confidence of a doormat but it can be just as hard dealing with people who think they need their own cable channel all about them all, of the time.
Confidence can be understated yet apparent by the person who knows how wear it.
czBrat
October 5th, 2010
10:23 am
reign = stooooopid! LMAO
thanx
blue™
October 5th, 2010
10:24 am
@DC – awww, thanx
i agree with the compensation theory, their trying to hide their shortcomings, or their percieved shortcomings, in one area or another, still leaves you with the deep down hope that somebody better at whatever it is their bragging about will come and show them up….lol
Breakingofdawn
October 5th, 2010
10:25 am
Random thoughts while at work.
Slim who told Jon B to come out with a new song? I did not get a memo that Shyne was out of jail? Why am I looking foward to Ron Isley’s CD to drop? I’ve wanted to be in DC for a night of Gogo and Chicago for some stepping all at the same time.
I’ve been on a music craze lately.
SexyCool
October 5th, 2010
10:26 am
Three Words Daily – Mind over matter.
2CPTG©
October 5th, 2010
10:27 am
“Confidence can be understated yet apparent by the person who knows how wear it.”
yep!
blue™
October 5th, 2010
10:33 am
A.M. Quote:
“No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility” Simone de Beauvoir
Simple Man!!!
October 5th, 2010
10:34 am
Let me ask…is this a problem thats unique to guys, cause I have yet to see a comment where a guys is put off by a lady that is to self absorbed….
Beautiful
October 5th, 2010
10:34 am
gmorn ev1!
it’s raining . . . huge SMILE!
Blackfoote
October 5th, 2010
10:36 am
Hi blue:
great qoute
Mo (aka Moeisha )
October 5th, 2010
10:36 am
Morning All!!
BreakingofDawn – Im with you on this …..”I’ve wanted to be in DC for a night of Gogo”. And why does it seem that no matter how much music I have, its never enough or I manage to think of some artists that I dont have enough of….Miles Davis, Billie Holiday, Chante Moore….I could go on and on!
Well what I wouldve said in regard to today’s topic has been stated already…I’ll keep lurking til I want to respond to something else