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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for September, 2010

If at first you don’t succeed, run?

We have talked about making snap judgments and how it can sometimes be a way single people avoid making real connections.  Admittedly, there are times when you aren’t feeling the spark or chemistry that you want to feel.  Then there are times when you probably should take that gut feeling and go with it.

How do you know when you aren’t just being a jerk and the  “red flags” are real?  I think when people always tell us poor, uncoupled singles that “you will know” when it’s right, there is some truth to that.  When you meet someone and feel really comfortable with them right away, you probably are drawn to them for a reason.

What happens when it’s awkward and weird? Does that mean things will always be that way?

What would you do if you dated someone a couple weeks and things were not clicking.  Do you take that as a sign it’s not working out?

When you have had a great connection with other people, do you compare that experience to everyone you meet after?

I met a guy …

Continue reading If at first you don’t succeed, run? »

Should women cover up to get respect?

I have been focused on the news story about the female reporter treatment in the locker room and on the sidelines.  The fact that she was dressed “provocatively” is front and center.  I have noticed that radio personalities, sports writers, etc.  comment more about the woman’s outfit and not the behavior of the players.

Not surprising.  I am curious what everyone thinks about how a woman’s clothes impacts the way she is treated.  If she is not covered enough does it mean she wants to get disrespected?

What are your thoughts on female reporters in sports? Do you think they belong in the locker rooms to interview players?

I have regretted wearing a particular outfit because I ended up getting male attention that made me uncomfortable.   The thing is, when dressed conservatively, I have still received more of the same attention that made me uncomfortable.  Should women have to cover up to get respect?

Continue reading Should women cover up to get respect? »

How much support do men need?

If you have ever watched HBO’s Entourage, you are familiar with the character, Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven.  Ari Gold is a foul-mouthed, raging jerk with a temper that makes you wonder how he has managed to get through the day without a black eye.  Since he is a Hollywood agent, this behavior manages to work for him in business.

In a recent episode, Ari’s wife walked out on him after his trademark public tirades embarrasses her.  Apparently he felt abandoned by his own wife.  She tells him that she refuses to sit by when her husband is acting like a classless idiot.  He says that is the exact moment when a wife should be supportive. (Paraphrasing)

I know loyalty and support is pretty high on a man’s mental list of what he needs from a woman.  When a man does not feel supported he is less likely to trust his partner to be there when he needs him.

So what happens when a man is dead wrong but still wants to be supported? How should a woman handle it? Does she keep her …

Continue reading How much support do men need? »

Opposites attract..drama?

We have all heard the  old adage that opposites attract but I don’t know if I can say this is a good thing.  Obviously, the people we meet and date won’t be a carbon copy because  that would be, well creepy. You just have to expect that you will have differences. How much difference is too much, though?

Compatibility can go a very long way when you consider that couples have so much to contend with in a new romance.  Do you think that being polar opposite of the person you are dating has the potential for more drama?

I ask because when you have so much in common, things seem to fall into place a lot easier.  You don’t expect everything to be a walk in the park, but it certainly seems the path of least resistance!

What do you think?  Have you ever dated someone who was your “opposite”?  Do you think it made for a rockier ride because of your conflicts?

Continue reading Opposites attract..drama? »

Is that really a red flag?

Alright, it’s time to address the hard truth. Sometimes single people have dating paranoia. Yes, I know nobody wants to cop to this publicly. I would certainly not blame you if you don’t.

The only reason I am outing my own single girl paranoia is because I am pretty sure I just torpedoed my chances with somebody sort of awesome. He exhibited what I thought to be “shady” behavior and of course my spidey (paranoid?) go haywire. The next thing I know I had basically formed some crazy scenario in my head thinking there was a red flag.

Oh there was a flag flying, alright. My freak flag. I made some utterly irrational arguments that were unfair and a little judge-y. Have you ever done that?

Have you ever met someone great and instead of bursting into a song and dance routine ala 500 Days of Summer, you somehow hone in on something about the person that is wrong.  Or worse, you come up with a so-called red flag that gives you the license to dump them!

It’s not …

Continue reading Is that really a red flag? »

When not to propose

I was listening to a conversation at the nail shop last week. Someone was on the phone telling her BFF that she was hoping her guy wasn’t planning to propose to her.  She proceeded to rattle off a laundry list of reasons why she couldn’t imagine being married to him.  The reasons ranged from he hated her puppy to he was way too immature.

First of all, I was regretting the fact that I left the earbuds to my ipod.  After I got over that, I started to think about when men propose to their girlfriends.  How do they know she will say yes?  What if the thought of being married to them makes them want to become a runaway bride?

I can’t imagine what men go through when they decide to ask the “big question”.  What goes through his head? When does he realize he is ready to propose?

When is a bad time to propose in your opinion?  Can a man convince a woman who is apprehensive about his husband potential to take him seriously?

If someone proposes and they don’t get a “yes” the …

Continue reading When not to propose »

Can money buy love?

If money can buy happiness (to a point), how much love can it get for us?   I am being only slightly facetious but as I read the article I had to wonder about our love of money.  If our sense of self-satisfaction is heavily influenced by our income and wealth, what happens when love is another commodity we try to buy?

If we need money to feel happy, does that impact our relationships too?

If couples didn’t fight and split up over money would they fight about something else?  I think a lot of times finding someone who has the same attitude about money can be challenging.  Just bringing up the topic of prenuptial agreements is enough to derail a relationship.

Would you ever ask your partner to sign a pre-nup?  How would you feel if you were asked to sign one? If a couple wants to have a prenuptial agreement, does that mean the couple is doomed?

Continue reading Can money buy love? »

Girlfriend Withdrawal

Getting your single life back on track when you have been in a relationship with someone for a very long time can be tough.  There is a period of time when you just want somebody, anybody around to fill the void the person left behind.

It’s probably best to stay single but a lot of times, that is when people start new relationships.  Dating someone on the rebound from a relationship is risky dating business.  You have to go into it with eyes wide open.  It is highly likely the person will going through “withdrawal” and showing signs of relapse with their ex.

Ladies, how can you tell someone is going through girlfriend withdrawal?  Do you think you recognize when they are hung up on their ex and emotionally unavailable to start something new with you?

Guys have you ever started a new relationship soon after ending another one?  Have you ever experienced girlfriend withdrawal before?  Do you think women should back off the guys who have signs of “girlfriend …

Continue reading Girlfriend Withdrawal »

Relationship drama. Can you handle the rain?

I didn’t get to see New Edition perform when they were in town so I have had this song stuck in my head! Any love song that makes you think about your old flames is a classic in my book.

Whenever I hear this song, I think about a certain someone from years ago who taught me alot about relationships, “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” One of the things I learned is that I really, really, really, dislike relationship drama. It’s exhausting!

A reader sent me a recent NY Times article about another study that surprised me. Researchers at Florida State University surveyed 1,611 men and women age 18 to 23 in the Miami area, and they “found that thorny relationships take a far greater toll on men.”

When you are experiencing drama in your dating relationships, does it take a toll on you?

Of course, men and women express emotion very differently. A lot of times, people don’t realize that the source of their stress is actually stemming from relationship drama.

I’m not one to …

Continue reading Relationship drama. Can you handle the rain? »

Office romance really a bad idea?

I have met at least 3 couples who say that they met at work.  What gives!?  I know that dating co-workers has the potential for all sorts of drama, but does that mean office romance is really a bad idea?

I believe that there are some people who can actually pull it off.  Most of us don’t go into the office planning to fall head over heels in love.   It can happen in a totally organic way and before you know it, you can’t stop thinking of the person.  So what is the best way to handle it?

Would you consider getting involved with a co-worker?  Have you tried it before? Do you have any advice for someone who was embarking on a new romance with someone at work?

What concerns would you have about office romance?  I mean, honestly, what is the worst that could happen!

Continue reading Office romance really a bad idea? »