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Do single men feel pressure to marry?

I was lamenting with a friend of mine about no longer being eligible to donate my eggs to infertile couples.   For some random reason this bummed me out!  Normal single women have biological clocks that inch them towards marriage.  Yours truly? I want to cling to the option of donating eggs. I know, I’ve always been a little strange, but I digress.

My friend consoled me by saying I may not be the perfect candidate to donate eggs but I would still make a great wife.  He said that as a man, even with the option to have children at a later age, he has felt pressure to become a husband.

Awesome compliment aside (thanks Greg!),  what he said me wonder about pressure single men have about relationships and  marriage.   Is it the same kind of pressure society places on women (and our ovaries!) and how do men handle it?

When men see their friends and peers getting married, do they get the feeling as if they are being left behind?

Ladies, do you think that a man past a certain age that has remain unmarried is still marriage material?

613 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:36 am

blue, you think I care what a feminist thinks? LOL nope, besides who listens to feminist except other feminist, lesbians and moist men? I said a man should not move into a womans house without his name on the deed. (that was the purpose of my entry and to follow that up i said she should not move into his without her name on the deed) Now get your panties out of a bunch :P

I am whatever you say I am™

September 29th, 2010
11:37 am

Kimmie: Yep, I don’t likey insecure dudes

Leggs ~ Smiling

September 29th, 2010
11:39 am

@Beautiful ~ there are many levels of downgrading…you just have to decide which layer is more tolerable than others. It’s only bad if you’re giving up on something that is important to you.

Come on, the man should be proud that his woman has a house, or she proud he has a house. Nothing wrong with renting, but owning your own home should not be a reason for dismissing someone.

@I am ~ the only person I can think of that would have a problem with this is an insecure man that couldn’t help you with the mortgage whic in turn will have you not liking him in the long run!

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 29th, 2010
11:40 am

“When I cam back for final walk thru-after inspection- It looked like someone had spent the night”

i am… — Maybe she & the new hubby just wanted to have one last romp in her place for old times sake…? Did you do the black-light test on the carpet, showers, kitchen counters, etc.? ;-) :lol:

kimmie

September 29th, 2010
11:40 am

Purple – Oh, and another thing. Just like you mentioned a woman could throw it up in his face if his name is not on the deed, a man could (and do) throw it up in his wifes face if her name is not on the deed.

BOTH parties need to do due diligence when they tie the knot! Just like you said you and your wife did.

Single vs Married

September 29th, 2010
11:40 am

Oh and the club we went to for my bachlorette party? My BFs and I were banned for 6mths! But the good thing is one of my BFs ended up marrying the police officer on duty that escorted us out of the club. How funny is that!

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:40 am

Leggs, people have their own reasons for dismissing someone so you can’t fault their standards. And if a man is living in his home or his womans home he should pay the mortgage no matter who’s home it is. But feminist probably won’t fuss about that one.

Melo!

September 29th, 2010
11:41 am

SexxyCool?

that tells u most of these folks starting churches are motivated by mega bucks and not the Holy Spirit!

Ego runs wild in them.

You can’t loot the church if u didn’t start it! No wonder the desire to go their individual route and not collaborating.

There was a good article on EL on CNN about that hero/ Bishop worshipping in mega churches and the pastor identity syndrome.

Simple Man!!!!!

September 29th, 2010
11:43 am

blue @ 11:30

I will grant you that…. The male ego is in play withthings like this, but its only because so often guys are judged by things like that. And like someone said earlier, What happens the first time she gets made and starts with the its my house… You moved in with me foolishness???

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
11:43 am

*It’s only bad if you’re giving up on something that is important to you.* <————- mad chemistry is important to me, but can i live w/o it or will it grow between us? something to ponder.

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:43 am

kimmie, I just don’t get the arguing with a woman but you brought up a good point. I guess a man could do that. In my world woman are expected to be erratic and emotional sometimes and men have to keep the cool. Yes sometimes we are drawn into the argument but putting your woman on the streets is just not nice. Only reason to do that is if she is cheating on you then if you put her our she can go live with that dude. A man is a man if he has to leave he better be man enough to provide a shelter for his head.

2CPTG©

September 29th, 2010
11:44 am

“a few scholars that are not religious question David’s sexuality and his relationship with Jonathan.”

and Paul, and even Jesus himself….heard all the theories.

Sexy, I think you see all the “lil” churches spring up because you have disgruntled parishioners who wanna do their own thing, as opposed to following the setforth doctrine……wait a second, ain’t that how/why America was founded, to practice religious freedoms; to break from the tyranny of the British Crown.

Come On Son

September 29th, 2010
11:46 am

I do not think the problem is getting married, the challenge is staying married. Plenty of people can find others to date, live with, even get married, but our society has moved to the mindset that longterm relationships have time limits and lifetime (till death do we part) commitments just are not necessary any longer.

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:46 am

Being in love our married is no justification for making dumb financial decisions. Using something and paying for it but you are not getting a tax break or receipt or once payments are made no part of the ownership is dumb and dumberer

Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish

September 29th, 2010
11:48 am

WM/carlito

We all know this is a power move and each minister have his/her own view on how to run a church. If you look at the Church of God in Christ they have procedures in place where they will combine churches if the membership falls below a certain number. C of God in Christ have white, black, yellow etc. churches. For the record I have seen white churches in a storefront and one I know started with about 8 members and used a hotel conference room as the place of worship. Depending on the organization there are controls in place, some have them and some don’t. EL had power at NB, and that power came from growing the church from 300-25,000.

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
11:48 am

*the challenge is staying married.* <——– and since i don't believe in divorce, my challenge will be greater imo.

SexyCool

September 29th, 2010
11:49 am

Melo – I agree. I have attended a larger congregation here in Metro Atlanta. And one of the things that dude used to say a LOT was “Don’t let nobody talk bad about your spiritual leader.”

And let me just say, that I do not discount the good that is done by these *movements*. I don’t discount any good that EL himself has done. In fact, I think it is unfortunate that so much of the good that he has done is now being overshadowed by this situation.

But, then too, what some of his followers don’t seem to want to accept is that a person that is doing good can also be doing some foul sht right along beside it. And that doesn’t make the good less good or Un-good or not good. It just means that this individual has some *Bad* and some *Ugly* that come with the total package.

Oh…and I eventually moved away from participating at that larger church. It started feeling less like a genuine religious experience and more like a weekly theatrical production.

And last but not least, I think some folks get being filled with the spirit confused with being overcome with emotion.

kimmie

September 29th, 2010
11:50 am

I guess a man could do that.

Purple – It doesn’t go down in your world, but this stuff happens every day of the week. I heard a woman on the radio just the other day talking about how she really wanted to leave her controlling husband. She said he always talked about how it was HIS house they lived in.

It’s one of the things my mother stressed to me – to make sure both names are on the deed.

White Man

September 29th, 2010
11:50 am

Exactly correct!!!

Melo!

September 29th, 2010
11:51 am

PR?

I second!

I wouldn’t live in my woman’s house.

Either she rents it or sells it.

You live I your romans house and you setting yourself for disaster coz of how they rationalize, especially in arguments.

Let alone your kinsfolk talk. Men is not an Island.
There are better choices and living in your woman’s house is not a manly choice.
It’s moist!

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
11:51 am

*the challenge is staying married.* <———- and since i don't believe in divorce, my challenge is greater imo.

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 29th, 2010
11:53 am

Afternoon All! okay so it looks like the discussion is on EL and NB again….anyone hear that he was mentored by Earl Paulk this AM on the radio? Things that make you go hmmmmmm

So what else is good

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:53 am

Melo, I agree but I am sure some women will tell us how we are wrong for feeling that way. LOL

Melo!

September 29th, 2010
11:54 am

U live in your woman’s house……

SexyCool

September 29th, 2010
11:55 am

A few observations of the video.

1. The muscle shirt is back.
2. The curly kit is still in place.
3. That hand on the hip, stomping his foot thing….well, er, um…….

blue™

September 29th, 2010
11:57 am

@PR – view on who listens to feminists – lol, interesting and i’ll leave that there…as far as both names on the house, i can see that point, but the first sentence was “Now a man should not move into a womans house and sell his”….feminist, nonfeminist whatever…as was said earlier its 2010 not 1950…
@kimmie – a man could (and do) throw it up in his wifes face if her name is not on the deed, seen it many times, but still see guys who want her to leave her house and move into his with no precautions whatsoever…she wants her name on the deed it becomes a fight over why is she encroaching on what he earned himself. there are many good guys out there who dont care about these things, or who take what is considered to be the reasonable stance, but for everyone good one theres a crazy one out there….
@Simple Man – i can see the point of putting both names on the deed to prevent just this type of thing, but as was mentioned earlier, he had to have had some indication that she was that type of person, whyd he stay with her till it blew up that big? cause really, it doesnt have to be “its my house, im on the deed”…it can be we’re both on the deed, but i pay the mortgage…a chick who has that personality will find anything to harass over, your name on the deed wont save you….

White Man

September 29th, 2010
11:57 am

beautiful….I completely understand.

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
11:59 am

Mo I read that and we all know Earl Paulks troubles. I also read that Eddie Long was distanced from his father, because Eddie showed homosexual tendencies at a young age. The reason this was odd was because Eddie Longs Father was straight but his father (EL’s Granddad) was gay and EL’s Father was constantly ridiculed about it. Now do I believe that or do I think it’s true….I have no opinion. I just like to read. LOL and we all know we can’t believe everything that we hear or read. I think whatever road that Church takes that it will come back stronger than ever. People should just be still and pray that God’s will be done, I really believe nothing is ever random and God’s will shall be done whether we agree with it or not.

2CPTG©

September 29th, 2010
12:00 pm

“your name on the deed wont save you…”

Damn sho….cause if them folks ever have to come visit, they don’t give a damn who’s name is on the deed…somebody going to the show, and nine times outta ten, it’s gon be him!

Simple Man!!!!!

September 29th, 2010
12:00 pm

I am… What about Chequers….Great food!!!!

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
12:00 pm

blue, there was more than one sentence. But that’s what you feminist do. Just pick and choose. LOL

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
12:01 pm

i wouldn’t have a problem with my husband wanting me to sell my home. i know his ego is important and i would support him and make sure that he feels like he is King & HOH.

looking for another home TOGETHER would make our bond even better. imo.

abc

September 29th, 2010
12:01 pm

I wouldn’t move into a woman’s house unless I was homeless or something.

I’d think the optimal course of action would be to sell both his and her houses, and get a house together, that’s their house.

If a woman would take issue with feeling like she’s contributing more to the new house’s purchase than the man, that’s the reason why I wouldn’t move into her house in the first place.

kimmie

September 29th, 2010
12:03 pm

there are many good guys out there who dont care about these things, or who take what is considered to be the reasonable stance, but for everyone good one theres a crazy one out there….

blue – That was my whole point really. Each couple does what’s best for their situation. A lot of people misuse their “power”, women included. They throw up in the others face that “this is mine, I made this money,etc” which is wrong in a marriage. But Purple acted this type of thing doesn’t go on with men, and it surely does, all the time, every day. He can’t identify with it and that’s a good thing, but don’t say it doesn’t go down!

Melo!

September 29th, 2010
12:05 pm

Blue?

the most appropriate and savvy thing to do is rent or sell your individual houses and buy a matrimonial house with both names on the deed.

When you arrange your stuff good going in,you know houses good when going out in case you have to parachute.

Marriage don’t have to be a financial death sentence.

Now a man living in her house after selling his is setting himself up for homelessness in case he gets thrown out.

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
12:06 pm

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin’ is the life for me.
Land spreadin’ out so far and wide
Keep **Atlanta**, just give me that countryside.

SexyCool

September 29th, 2010
12:07 pm

Were I ever to find myself in the whose house situation, I would hope that I would be involved with a man that, together, we would make the best financial decision as it is what has the potential to have the greater long range impact.

Purple Rain

September 29th, 2010
12:07 pm

Don’t be LoveDumb

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
12:07 pm

@Kimmie . . . i wouldn’t blame him for wanting to jus keep my home, which would now be OUR home, cause things would be easier/more simple. BUT!!! i would question his manhood if he didn’t raise one concern about it. i would need him to make one remark, jus one!

Dan - simply...

September 29th, 2010
12:08 pm

@Beautiful/Angie

If you’re still of the opinion that you need to assauge a man’s “ego”, I need you to deal with some different type of dudes. A man’s “ego”, like his self esteem, can’t be affected by you or anyone else.

Light

September 29th, 2010
12:12 pm

Let God will be done thru this blog http://lightoftheearth.blogspot.com/

kimmie

September 29th, 2010
12:13 pm

I do agree that it is wonderful to purchase a home together. But again, everyone has to do what is best for their situation.

I know of some instances where the couple tried to purchase a home, but one parties credit was so bad, the only way they could qualify is to have one name on the deed. 2 cases that immediately come to mind, it was the husband that had the messed up credit. I know because I had to pull the credit reports. I bet they didn’t go bragging to their boys about that.

So each couple does what’s in their best interest.

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
12:15 pm

@Dan . . . LOL! whatevr.

kimmie

September 29th, 2010
12:16 pm

Beautiful – Read SCool’s 12:07. That’s the type of man and situation I want. A real partnership.

Not a situation where I constantly have to build up his ego. I’m with Dan on this.

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
12:18 pm

@Kimmie . . . i didn’t say anything about building up his ego! supporting it, yes.

Melo!

September 29th, 2010
12:19 pm

Kimmie?

U can buy a home using one party’s financial info then amend the deed later to include the other party. I hope those parties/dudes did that.
Otherwise there would be nothing in therefor them even if they contributed financially.

That’s like an America black chic saying she’s married but with no ring!

Beautiful

September 29th, 2010
12:19 pm

SC & I said the exact same thing. LOL!

blue™

September 29th, 2010
12:20 pm

not picking and choosing, him not selling his house and moving into hers, as far as i read the language, has nothing to do with putting both names on the deed.they came across as 2 seperate ideas, and thats how i treated.as far as what feminists do or dont, several in my family,and the majority will not admit womans fault in anything or defend or advise a man…he!!, most ive known wont even admit that there are good men out there at all lol….
@kimmie – 1203: exactly…
@melo – the most appropriate and savvy thing to do is rent or sell your individual houses and buy a matrimonial house with both names on the deed…i could see that, if all are agreed…if im already in my dream house tho, there may be some issues, lol…

Blackfoote

September 29th, 2010
12:22 pm

@ blue: Since you took one sentence of mine and made me it anti-feminist. My actual point was if she has her own house and I have mine I would prefer we buy one together and she could keep hers, rent, or sell it. Maybe ego or not but I would feel very uncomfortable with living in her house and I would suspect she would living in mine.

I am whatever you say I am™

September 29th, 2010
12:23 pm

I’m swiss: at your 11:40 : I hired a cleaning service before I moved in ;-)