Why aren’t more women approaching men?
I hope your weekend was wonderful and fun! I was in the Big Easy hanging out and mingling with cool people. I saw a lot of interesting things this weekend while hanging out in New Orleans. I love the energy of the city and the people are so much fun.
I noticed that women seem to approach men a lot more than in Atlanta! I have to say there were a couple of guys that caught my eye and approaching them didn’t seem like a bad idea. What is it about going to a different city and meeting people that seems easier than at home?
When men get approached by women, it seems to be a huge ego boost and I believe it is rare when a guy flat out turns her down. I am sure it happens but once a lady gives an inkling that she is interested, she opens the door for the man to reciprocate interest.
What is the best way to approach a guy, though? I have seen some women come on way too strong and when they sense the guy is turned off, they keep pursuing. Are women slow to notice that a man isn’t really feeling her?
Guys when you are approached by a woman, do you know right away? What happens when you decide that she isn’t your type? How do you let her down?
I think women are always encouraged to ask guys out or at least approach men more, but it seems that many of us prefer to let the men make the first move. Do you think this will ever change? If we are modern women who abandon a lot of the traditional courting, should we get used to approaching men?
Ladies, what are your fears about approaching men? What is the worst that can happen?
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590 comments Add your comment
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
12:37 pm
You just have to do what works
Yup. And I’ve never had a problem getting men to approach. But like I said, I don’t go places to hide out in a corner either.
It's me....lurker
September 27th, 2010
12:37 pm
Okay, I was reading the comments but got distracted by the EL jokes. Here’s my white flag. I ain’t go lie, I thought about what 2Can said last week. If you didn’t do it why not just state that? After listening live yesterday, what can I say? I did think too along the lines of what Melo said, now after all that cheering and hooping and hollering what will they do if he eventually straight out confess? And I’m dying at —>What was up with the curly kit?” I don’t like being a turn coat but that was funny as heck. I looked and thought, wayment now he was balding in some of the other pics now a black rug perched on his head? What I found strange was his quote “I never said I was a perfect man……..” an almost admission of guilt IMO. Okay let me go back and finish reading today’s topic. Oh, I skimmed over Friday’s topic and some of ya’ll got me feeling a bit nostalgic.
Melo!
September 27th, 2010
12:39 pm
PR?
That’s given.
If u single and men are not approaching you so the problem is you!
Look in the mirror.
blue - ™
September 27th, 2010
12:42 pm
@BMW – made me think about why the heck I am still in ATL – i ask myself that Q all the time, lol
@evy – “evy. evy, there’s no motor in this thing.” lmao, thats a good one. but now who gets the credit for initiation, you or him?
@Leggs – lmao…seems he had a productive life tho “Heselden made his fortune through his firm Hesco Bastion Ltd., which developed the “Hesco” blast wall system that replaced the sand bags used to protect troops in Afghanistan and Iraq”. think the military will send a rep to the service?
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
12:44 pm
AmazonRed, are you a big 6′2 or a slim 6′2? Either way I imagine it would be hard for you to go unnoticed. LOL
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
12:46 pm
I am a slim 5′11.” I only weigh 130 pounds.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
12:49 pm
AmazonRed, you are a sexy tall woman not one of those Defensive Lineman type of tall women.
blue - ™
September 27th, 2010
12:50 pm
@Dreams – That isn’t counterintuitive though. You’re more likely to get what you want when you proactively pursue it. Otherwise you’re limited to choosing what’s presented to you.
i see some validity there, kind of if the norm isnt working for you try something different…isnt that how a lot of women go lesbian? lol j/k…well no, not really…ive got a cousin who switched teams that way…
It's me....lurker
September 27th, 2010
12:51 pm
Today’s topic, I was raised in the mindset that fast girls make the first move so I understand ABC and his beliefs. I’m still somewhat of that mindset however I do realized and have moved away somewhat from that. I won’t toss it all in the wind because I believe there’s some value to what my parent instilled. I do understand though there’s a fine line of giving off the wrong impression and giving a man a nudge and opening to approach. I don’t necessarily think the green light is needed for giving a man an opening to approach however I don’t think anything is wrong with a bit of friendly spoken or unspoken banter would should be indicative that I’m interested. I do feel though if a man approaches and puts forth the effort (not put through changes..just a bit of effort) then you can at least feel good or comfortable throwing it back….because he made the first move and show of interest. Now whether or not it’s sincere or about anything other than getting to know you, that’s a horse of another color. I do feel though if a woman is always approaching you’re bound to roll up on somebody that’s not truly interested but will go along, just because you approached first. How will you gauge the true intention if you never allow it to flow your way sometimes?
Simple Man!!!!!
September 27th, 2010
12:51 pm
Note to self….. Remind everyone how “PERFECT” 5′11 and 130lbs can be….:D
evy
September 27th, 2010
12:53 pm
@blue: hmmm, i dunno – i baited and cast the line, but he didn’t struggle too hard – who knows? maybe i fell into his net…
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
12:53 pm
AmazonRed, you are a sexy tall woman not one of those Defensive Lineman type of tall women.
I hear this a lot. Apparently there are a lot of lumberjack built women running around here.
White man
September 27th, 2010
12:54 pm
Damn! 5′11″ NICE…
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
12:54 pm
Simple Man – You are too much!
blue - ™
September 27th, 2010
12:55 pm
time to find lunch – Simple Man, my cool platonic friend…keep an eye on Fred please?
Simple Man!!!!!
September 27th, 2010
12:56 pm
“As I do my happy dance”…..I think she likes me, I think she likes me!!! LOL LOL LOL
White man
September 27th, 2010
12:58 pm
I am 6′4″ so the taller the better for me…unless you are the linebacker type haha.
Simple Man!!!!!
September 27th, 2010
1:00 pm
Blue…I got him….OK Fred….I got some rules over here…..
Blackfoote
September 27th, 2010
1:01 pm
@ AmazonRed at your size I would’nt wait for an approach by you, I’d make that the first step
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:03 pm
@Simple Man – You are definitely a boost for the ego. I could look like Jabba the Hut’s sister in real life.
@White Man – There are a lot of 6′4″ guys out there dating women way too short for them!
CoolShadow
September 27th, 2010
1:04 pm
Yup. And I’ve never had a problem getting men to approach. But like I said, I don’t go places to hide out in a corner either.
@AmazonRed – If that’s the case then there’s no need for you to approach a man. But not all women are noticed or are getting approached and in some cases are unapproachable, though they might think they are.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:04 pm
White Man and AmazonRed, some of these Linebackers are bigger than farm girls, the farm girls work the farm and are big and toned. I have yet to see a Farm in the Atlanta Metro Area, so maybe that is why they are not toned. LOL
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:04 pm
Amazon you are right. I dated a girl that was 5′1″. I dont mind shorter women but I prefer the taller ones.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:06 pm
To short for them? Im 6′6 my wife is 5′7 on a good day. Her height is only an issue in only one certain instance/position other than that everything else is perfect. LOL
Grace
September 27th, 2010
1:07 pm
Hello Everyone! I have no problem approaching a guy. I made the first move with my first husband and we weathered just fine. If you see someone you like, make a move, you’s be surprised by the end results.
Simple Man!!!!!
September 27th, 2010
1:08 pm
Ared, even if you were butt ugly…Your flavor would still be off the charts!!!
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:10 pm
PurpleRain…>Good point.
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:11 pm
I always say “just say what is on your mind to the woman or man”. IF you want to date, ask her/him…if you want a booty call, tell her/him. You never know if you dont ask.
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:11 pm
@ AmazonRed at your size I would’nt wait for an approach by you, I’d make that the first step
Well hey now! But I wouldn’t make it difficult for you either.
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
September 27th, 2010
1:12 pm
“There are a lot of 6′4″ guys out there dating women way too short for them!”
ARed — What you see as too short, these dudes probably see as just right (i.e. right at wang level)…
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:13 pm
White Man, I agree. No smoke screens just speak your mind
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:13 pm
Some men are intimidated by taller women…..
evy
September 27th, 2010
1:13 pm
i’m out, folks – enjoy the rest of your day!
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:14 pm
To short for them? Im 6′6 my wife is 5′7 on a good day.
5′7″ is still pretty tall, besides, it’s not too common to find women 5′10″ plus so you have to go a little shorter.
What I mean is if you’re 6′6″ and go for the 5′4″s….
PoppaGrande has a shorty wife, but it wasn’t intentional!
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:14 pm
PURPLERAIN….yep, and it is GREAT when a womans starts the conversation and just speaks her mind. It has happened with me a few times and it is wonderful.
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:14 pm
Amazon….it could be a good think if her mouth is at waist level haha.
Grace
September 27th, 2010
1:15 pm
I’ve never waited 3 days to call a guy. What the heck is that about anyway?
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:15 pm
Swiss, the short high is only a problem when both are standing and hitting her from behind. It is crazy to have to squat down push forward then enter and then stand up. You are lifting her off the floor with your wang when you stand up straight..and high heels don’t always do the trick. LOL
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:15 pm
swiss – I hear that one too. Naughty boys.
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:15 pm
The truth is that being a taller man and having a much shorter woman DOES make some positions much more difficult to pull off.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:16 pm
Amazon, I said 5′7 on a good day..that’s when she is in her come get me heels. She is 5′4 5′5 LOL
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:16 pm
Purplerain….put a stool by the bed and have her stand on it. That is what I do.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:17 pm
She hates climbing up in my truck also.
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:18 pm
Oh..well then you get a demerit then, PR!
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:18 pm
White Man, I would need a bunch of stools all over the house. and Keep one in both cars and just have a portable one on call.
White man
September 27th, 2010
1:20 pm
Hahah, I hear ya.
Purple Rain
September 27th, 2010
1:20 pm
My TMI for the day. We were driving home in her car Saturday and she decided to give me some “attention” at the stop light a cop pulls up right beside us. I tel her do not lift your head up there is a cop right beside us. I wonder what would have happened if the cop saw her. Then when I tell her it’s okay to come up she asks me. “Was there really a cop in the other lane?” LOL
Grace
September 27th, 2010
1:21 pm
@ Purple Rain some men pursue just for the sake of sex and not a relationship. And so do some women, so what’s your point?
Simple Man!!!!!
September 27th, 2010
1:21 pm
I am 5′11 and I have a “long term understanding” with a lady thats about 4′10!!! She is super short but way confident and having a 1 foot height difference is off teh chain for me!!! I can (and often do) pick her up and carry her from place to place surface to surface without detaching!!!!
AmazonRed™
September 27th, 2010
1:21 pm
I feel so at home being surrounded by all these tall trees.