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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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First Loves

Facebook has managed to reconnect me with my college boyfriend.  Ahh the memories of all the firsts we shared.  He’s actually still single and living in New Jersey! We exchanged phone numbers and it is cool to see that he is doing well.

There is always a special place in your heart for the first love.  They teach you so much and in some cases, they are the measuring stick by which all future loves are measured.  Do you have a first love that you would like to catch up to?

What would you want to find out?

Do you remember your first love?  Do you think they set the course of your romantic life? If so, in a good way or a bad one?

Happy Friday!

503 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:09 am

People are either Black, White or Hispanic…….NOT! LOL

Leggs

September 24th, 2010
11:09 am

@WMan ~ Friends With Benefits.

SexyCool

September 24th, 2010
11:09 am

Quite frankly, Melo. I was a child at the time that both of those things occurred. The person that I *fondly* remember as a *first* love was not the recipient love in the way that I share it today – with a greater maturity, a better understanding and to deeper depths.

And considering the fact that my virginity was *taken* and not given, no, I have no fond memories of the individual who has since died while incarcerated.

If we want to talk about the first person that I willingly laid down with, well…to steal a line from *The Best Man* – “What we shared was as sweet and as endearing as a forehead kiss.”

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:10 am

Thanks Swiss, I wasn’t sure but I didn’t feel like Googling! :lol:

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:12 am

To me a First Love as a young teenager and a First Love as an adult are two different things. I thought I knew what love was when I was young but now as an adult my standards of love have changed. Not that I know what love all is, just that it’s different. Sometimes running into first loves show you how much you have grown.

SexyCool

September 24th, 2010
11:12 am

When I say I was a child, I know that I was still a child at 16/17.

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:13 am

Of topic question –

First date. He takes you to one of the most expensive, 5 star restaurants in the city.

Trying too hard?

Melo!

September 24th, 2010
11:13 am

@Scool?

You went deep on me’ on that one! Sorry for that experience.

How about you ladies who lost the seal thru mutual lust?

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:14 am

SCool – Hugs for that 11:09

Love that Best Man line!

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 24th, 2010
11:15 am

kimmie — You don’t need google. Whenever you have any whiteboy music trivia, I’m your boy. I’ve got your google right here…. :lol:

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:15 am

@Purple Rain – You got too close, but you handled the situation. I don’t want you to beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes.

Kym

September 24th, 2010
11:15 am

@Slim..I think it’s possible to have more than one great first love.. the newest of the relationship makes being with that person feel like first love..I always laugh at one of my loves recants of something we did..because I always think..you remember that incident…wayyyyyy different than I did.

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:17 am

Some of the memories I’m having and some of the stuff you all are sharing is making me kinda cry. So sweet and heartwarming.

Simple Man!!!!

September 24th, 2010
11:17 am

I wish I could….

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:17 am

AmazonRed, maybe or maybe not. If he is used to going to places like that it’s fine. Then again it is also cool that he is trying to really impress you right off the bat. It should not be Denny’s first then 5 Star next.

Although, Warren Buffet has said that to him a $5 meal tastes better than a $100 meal.

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:18 am

whiteboy music trivia, I’m your boy.

Swiss – Thanks Dawg! :lol!

DC Rose

September 24th, 2010
11:18 am

Happy Friday, yippee!!!

I remember acting a fool (in retrospect) being in love with this guy. We started dating the summer before I went to college. Well you know how going away to school can change you. I felt worldly! By the next summer, he seemed ’small’. I had to make an effort to make time to spend with him and pretend I was having fun. Before I returned to school I ended it. Too much effort. I have never seen or heard from him again. Didn’t seek him out either. What I got from the relationship was an understanding that I needed to be committed to the relationship. It would never work if the feelings weren’t mutual and at the same level. Simple huh?

I am whatever you say I am

September 24th, 2010
11:19 am

Blue: Here’s your coffee…. Piping hot!
I apologize for the delay, I had in flown in from Columbia.

Simple Man: Boxer shorts and confetti??? No boom boom in the champagne room!

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 24th, 2010
11:20 am

Melo – well my ‘first’ love that I laid down with was my high school sweetheart. Loved him dearly and still do. HOWEVER, I dont know many women that regard their first time the way you described it. lol! That sounded like a beatdown….

DreamsMaterialize

September 24th, 2010
11:21 am

A brush with side-pdu$$y. Infidelity Near-Misses.
swiss sounds like a good topic to me. It would be a nice change from what we’ve been getting. The question is: would we get full blog honest participation?

Dont do “fwb”, Im sure Im not the only one that feels this way. I have committed relationships, just wont be falling in you
ice I feel what you’re saying. It just seems as though a relationship where you’re not in love is very bland and doomed to failure. How would you describe your relationships?

For many that stay there is nothing much to do after work but drink. That lifestyle ages you.
kimmie I’d add stress to the list of things that ages you. Nothing like some drama to add grey hairs and wrinkles.

Have any of you felt as strongly with anyone else since your first love?…
slim I’m not nostalgic like that. I enjoy things for what they are when they are. After it’s over I enjoy the next thing for what it is. If you spend all your time trying to retrieve what you had, then you’ll probably miss what you could have. Not only that, but I’d be willing to bet that if you could get back what you had, it wouldn’t be quite what you remember. We tend to romanticize our memories.

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:21 am

DC Rose, you mean small as in he did not have ambition or was not well known in college?

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 24th, 2010
11:21 am

ice

September 24th, 2010
11:22 am

@AmazonRed First date. He takes you to one of the most expensive, 5 star restaurants in the city.

Trying too hard?

Had this happen to me also & I didnt even care too much for the place, he picked it out. I didnt see him again either because I just wasnt into him.

SlimNumeroUno

September 24th, 2010
11:23 am

‘the equivalent of the high of the first love is having someone worthy of the love that you know understand the power of and having that person love you on the same level in return’

Sexycool – Yeah, I can agree with that…also, I think it’s important to realize that love has phases. It’s not just about being able to love in the “Honeymoon Phase” only…but to be able to appreciate the phases that come after that…something like a wine, get’s better as it ages. I must say, I think a lot of people these days are only living for that initial feeling of the honeymoon period…they never harvest good wine because they are too eager to get to drinking of the spirits before it’s ready so they are more quick to jump from ship to ship

kimmie – Your post reminds me of that phrase, Love is blind. Back in the day experiencing that first real deep, almost don’t even know what you’re doing love is crazy…and most definitely the fall is the worst, quite devastating really. So I can understand not wanting to ever have to go through that again. Just think that there are some folks out there who are hopeless romantics and they go through that steep fall over and over again.

I’m looking forward to meeting that person who allows me to love, tries to understand HOW i love and will most definitely not be afraid to reciprocate that back to me. ;-)

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:26 am

Slim, I thought you were dating someone now? If you are looking forward to meeting the person who allows you to love etc…is that not the guy you are with now why are you with him. I mean if you are just waisting time I have some stuff for you to do. LOL

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:26 am

We tend to romanticize our memories.

Dreams – You said a mouthful there! And yes, stress takes YEARS off your life! A lot of those folks I went to HS with were dealing with major drama and “grown folk” stuff way back then. I’m so grateful for my parents in creating an environment where all we had to worry about was making good grades and keeping our surroundings clean.

The older I get, the more I realize how very fortunate I am.

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:27 am

Warren Buffet has said that to him a $5 meal tastes better than a $100 meal.

Sheeeeiiiit… :lol:

Guess it depends on the chef! :lol:

Raqi

September 24th, 2010
11:27 am

When you miss someone you long for them. I do not long for my first love. I love, am in love and am satisfied with my now love.

My first love and I married when we were 19. He was killed at the age of 23. He is the father of my first born. Our love was still very much in its infant stage when he was taken away. We started dating in high school at 16. We didn’t consummate our togetherness until we were 19. We were still kids. It was still all kinda new when he left this world. There are higher planes of commitment and love that he and I never had a chance to experience. I am on that plane now. A deeper more mature love.

Melo!

September 24th, 2010
11:28 am

@MO?

u can call it beat down coz I had to cajole her to get it in, and not even all in!

Lots of whispering in her ear to calm her down….as she wld ouch..ouch!
And on all three it took more than one time to get it all in and enjoy the session.

Unless if most of you played sports or some and had been compromised some?

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:28 am

I just thought about something LURKER-1, I have no idea who you are, as I don’t remember you. How do you know who I am are you a regular who has changed their name? I know It’s me..lurker and Elijah Lurker, which one are you?

SexyCool

September 24th, 2010
11:28 am

Rock/SlimG – Y’all gone make me get all weepy and sht. LOL!

White man

September 24th, 2010
11:30 am

Leggs….yes

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:32 am

melo – My first love was also my first. As said before, I have fond memories, but i’m definitely not lusting after him after all these years. I’ve had much stronger love and intimate sex since then.

Purple Rain

September 24th, 2010
11:32 am

AmazonRed, LOL to me there is no better meal than home cooked specifically momma’s.

Raqi, that is tough. Seems like a hard road to be on until you found that new love. I am glad you are happy now :)

Fellas, do you distinguish your first love from your first piece? How long did you work to get your first piece or did it just happen?

White man

September 24th, 2010
11:33 am

Yes but there is something about having sex with your” first” again.

blue - ™

September 24th, 2010
11:34 am

@Sassy – 1049: i think we may have to get that bracelet of hsi lookd at, it doesnt seem to be working right…
@i am – coffee, wonderful..hits the spot cause im falling asleep here…
@slim – Have any of you felt as strongly with anyone else since your first love?… i’d have to say no to that one, first one just seemed like the right fit all the way around…

SlimNumeroUno

September 24th, 2010
11:34 am

Purp – You don’t miss a beat do ya? lol Yeah I’m dating someone…he’s new to this love thang which can be a bit nerve wrecking if it’s coming this late in your life. So if you notice, I stated in my post about having that COMFORT level…so until/unless he gets acclimated to this new phase of life & dating then I can only hope for the day that this heart finds it’s rightful home. ;-)

Dreams – yeah you’re right about remembering things in a better light than they may have actually occurred. I wonder if we were able to play back some of our great memories on a screen, how much our perception would change…I can only hope the Ghost of Christmas past gives me a visit this year and allows me that privelege. lol

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:35 am

LOL to me there is no better meal than home cooked specifically momma’s.

Sheeeeiiiiiitttt. :lol:

My mother is one of the best cooks I know. But even still, I’ve had some “slap ya momma” meals courtesy of other chefs. :lol:

White man

September 24th, 2010
11:35 am

Purple Rain….my first piece happened on a dare. I was 13 and the girl was 17. Just a fun time at a buddies house.

My first love was the first time I had consistent sex and we were together for nearly 3 years.

DC Rose

September 24th, 2010
11:36 am

Scool – Sending you a warm hug.

Purp. – Never left the city he was born in. No traveling, no reading, no growing.

Melo!

September 24th, 2010
11:36 am

11:23@Slim?

that romanticising of luv as if u Shakespeare is what gets u single girls in trouble and manless!

Just find somebody to give u babies, marry him and then after that what’s left is paying the bills!

U seeking some utopia! :lol:

Kym

September 24th, 2010
11:37 am

All this stuff has me thinking about highschool bf..man love was blind..but hey when you are young all you want to do is sing and smile and …sigh

You’re my pride and joy
You’re my baby boy
People ask me how I feel about you
They ask me if I love you (yeah)
Am I crazy for you (yeah yeah yeah)
Oh yeah, I wanna kiss you

kimmie

September 24th, 2010
11:39 am

Kym – I used to LOVE that song!

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 24th, 2010
11:39 am

Melo – “Unless if most of you played sports or some and had been compromised some?”…..huh?? I’on know what to say bout that one…aint neva heard of such! LOL

SexyCool – I was gonna say the same thing to Raqi!

Raqi – that is oh so sad and sweet at the same time.

My high school and college sweethearts will always be dear to me. My high school sweetheart worked his way into my life. He was so cool with my family by the time we started dating that it wasnt a surprise to anyone. My college sweetheart was so outside of my ‘box’ that he caught me off guard and made me love him!

Simple Man!!!!

September 24th, 2010
11:42 am

AmazonRed™ @ 11:13

First date. He takes you to one of the most expensive, 5 star restaurants in the city.

Trying too hard?

Depends on what the 2nd and 3rd date is….If he just rolls like that, then cool…If he blew the rent then yeah.. My rule is never do an a first date what you can’t do on the 5th date…

SexyCool

September 24th, 2010
11:43 am

‘Preshate the love and hugs, folks. It’s been over two decades. I’ve dealt with it and moved on. Most often, I can look back on the actual incident quite dispassionately – which is incredible even to me.

But it makes me know that when I/should I/ if I ever become a parent, I would kill to protect my child.

Kym

September 24th, 2010
11:43 am

@kimmie..yeah that song has memories attached..that and Keith Sweat’s..There’s a Right and Wrong Way to love somebody..Matter of fact I can’t listen to that song at all.

SlimNumeroUno

September 24th, 2010
11:44 am

‘that romanticising of luv as if u Shakespeare is what gets u single girls in trouble and manless’

Melo – you may want to go back and actually READ my 11:23. You and I are actually AGREEING…saying the same thing. It’s not about the Sky opening up, the stars aligning and hearing Barry White in your head everyday….I’m talking about a grown folks love…not the fairytale buulllshyt and most definitely NOT seeking a utopia at all. Re-read then make a comment there tanto. ;-)

AmazonRed™

September 24th, 2010
11:44 am

@Simple Man – 2nd date? 3rd date? :lol: Let’s just get throught the first. :lol:

Raqi

September 24th, 2010
11:45 am

Just sitting here talking about it yes I can remember the hurt I felt when I watched him take his last breath. But I don’t long for those days. I don’t long to see him or be in his arms again.

This may sound rather callous but I am glad that he was moved out of the way so I could grow and know what I know now. I, the same as you SexyCool, feel that had that first love remained I would not have grown emotionally and mentally as much as I have now.

I don’t credit it all to Mason because I had a long road before him. Nor do I feel that I could not have experienced the love I do now with a different man. But I am more than happy that I am experiencing it with the one I am with. I am happy to have him a part of my life and me a part of his.