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When dates disappear

I have this theory that explains why many of us either experience “the disappearing act” or are the ones pulling that trick.  There is something that is best left unsaid or unrevealed.  The disappearance is a gift from the dating gods that we should  be thankful for.

A lot of times you have dodged a bullet or avoided some catastrophe.  Is it classy to just “get ghost” on people? Absolutely not.  It is, however, necessary and sometimes unavoidable.  A lot of people (ok, mostly women) say they want closure.  I think they say this until they get the so called closure.

Take it from me, ladies.  You do  not want closure.  Ignorance is bliss.

When dates disappear on you, how do you handle it?

Have you ever “faded out” of someone’s life and never told them why you checked out?

Here is your chance to get it out if you feel like confessing your romantic crime of disappearing or fading out.

I’ll go first.  Dear Xavier: I am sorry I never called you back.  After our first date, you creeped me out talking about your earlobe fetish.  I am sure you were a very nice guy.  I hope you find the love and the earlobes you deserve.  I feel better already!

Now see? I couldn’t say to his face that he was giving me the creepies.  In this situation, I think a disappearing act was the unclassy, cowardly way out, but at least his feelings were spared, right?

When dates disappear, is it really a bad thing?

478 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 23rd, 2010
2:30 pm

Dirty D — I don’t think that’ll be a problem… Just have a look at my costume: ZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP! PLOP. RRRROOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL…. PLOP. :lol:

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 23rd, 2010
2:31 pm

:lol: @ those pics… OUCH… Uh… yeah, that’s pretty cobbler, if you ask me… :lol:

2CPTG©

September 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm

thanks, Kym….

lawd ham’mercy I laughed my ass off!!!! look like some shyt you’d put on your profile page on “blackpeoplemeet.”

Melo!

September 23rd, 2010
2:34 pm

There was a fight/commotion also at NB yesterday afternoon/evening after somebody tried to press a case if sexual harassment and they had an argument with another staffer.

The popo were called but no charges were filed.

Seems even the females may be caught up in this.

He had to fvcck some of them.
No way, in a 25000 strong congregation of whack 75% is female u gon just take the boys.

There is plenty dirt here to stir and his hench men are busy trying to calm the fires!

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
2:37 pm

Kym – @ it’s me I know you were asking the guys..but being accused of preying on young men..looking for a father is pretty diff from a guy avoiding a arguement about who’s purple thong was that on the backseat of his car..I mean Bishop Spanx’s over there has to dodge some serious bullets..Like why did you take this young men on trips, and why were they recieving money and gifts from you..and really why do you wear sparkle tight t-shirts underneath your tight vest..

I actually agree. My point was if you CLAIM you’re of the cloth and scandalous that in and of itself will hang without one peep from a band of cheerleaders/haters. You’re absolutely right. Anybody truly saved and as the old folks say, spirit led won’t be caught in compromising situation no matter how innocent cause the look of it ain’t right…shun the very appearance of evil but I was more so speaking to the fan that spew hate from anything related or closely related to religion, salvation, saved, etc and assume all can’t practice self control. To me it’s no different that the accusations with Michael J and those boys. If you don’t want to be accused then one don’t be an abuser and too if you ain’t an abuser don’t hang in places and do things that would speak to such behavior. I ain’t said I think EL is not guilty. If he is oh he’ll pay dearly. I can’t stand either anybody that would abuse children. Oh and the spank comment was funny as heck…LOL

Simple Man!!!!

September 23rd, 2010
2:37 pm

Ok…Let me get this strait…I go off and actully do some work and when I get back Kym giving up links to Eddie Long dressed Like he about to audition for Diddys Latest Boy band….. Why the hell does the EL have on a one piece???????

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
2:38 pm

SexyCool

September 23rd, 2010
2:38 pm

Dude in the middle picture looks like Mr. Songz.

PrincessNik

September 23rd, 2010
2:39 pm

those pics…..

reminds me of the pics my 15 year old niece sends me when she wants me to see a new hair style or outfit she has…….

2CPTG©

September 23rd, 2010
2:41 pm

I cain’t get over him flexin’ in the damn mirror…..lawd!!!!

blue - ™

September 23rd, 2010
2:43 pm

@DD – yeah, i guess with the bass and all he could be hard to hear…
@Lady/Samantha – make sure you practice the nose twitch
@swiss – dirk diggler, i say do it…gotta make mrs.swiss roller girl….

Samantha-Twinkle,Twinkle

September 23rd, 2010
2:45 pm

i will honey……how can I trip somebody up though and look innocent stading right beside them…….

searching within for my witch powers! LOL Blue!

Melo!

September 23rd, 2010
2:45 pm

Dude is guilty!

Those pics? Come on now

It’s now a question of how he wants this to end?

In court or Pay!

Kym

September 23rd, 2010
2:48 pm

@it’s me I agree..but I know I am bias as heck..regarding this case..I read the complaints for all three young men..all three come from single mama homes..and he has “allegedly” played on the need for male guidance in order to get his jollies..I have a son..and he has had moments where he misses his daddy like crazy..and needed to talk to him when he can’t talk to me..and for some “joker” to pull on those emotions..yeah you one sick..sucker.

Cause like my friend said last night if she found pics like this on her son’s phone he wouldn’t have to explain anything to the church..he would have to explain to “Sweetness” (9MM) and “Sweetness” well she is not so understanding.

Size Six

September 23rd, 2010
2:48 pm

Bishop Spanx…. LOL….that is too funny. Thx for the laugh.

Leggs

September 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

Doubt this case ever makes it to court!

SexyCool

September 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

I do think it’s interesting that two of the three *accusers* appear to have released headshots/promo pictures.

2CPTG©

September 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm

Melo, as one attorney stated, he ain’t got no motivation to settle outta court…you do that when you wanna brush the situation under the rug…hell, it’s out now, so he may as well “take it to da do’….” Then, if the allegations prove false, countersue them…..

Leggs

September 23rd, 2010
2:51 pm

“Anybody truly saved and as the old folks say, spirit led won’t be caught in compromising situation no matter how innocent cause the look of it ain’t right” – EXACTLY! Sure, we are all human and fail, but if being of “the cloth” doesn’t help restrain you, I don’t think anything will other than castration!

blue - ™

September 23rd, 2010
2:58 pm

i want ice cream….a chipwhich to be specific….

Leggs

September 23rd, 2010
3:00 pm

I want to take a nap.

SlimNumeroUno

September 23rd, 2010
3:00 pm

The red skin tight muscle man shot doesn’t imply to me anything crazy…being sent to another dude is questionable but the one in all black looks more ’sweet’ if you ask me. They stated he used biblical jargon to influence their decision to mess around sexually. Where in the bible does it condone men on men activity? (I haven’t read it cover to cover, so if someone knows where I can look those verses up, pls post)

Melo!

September 23rd, 2010
3:00 pm

2Can?

Considering his trappings and the cash machine, I doubt he wants to to going to court and lose all that.

To prove what?

It’s about the dollars and jail.

Money will keep him free. That’s his easiest way out and still some modicum of respect.

Well unless he’s looking forward to jail bootey! Lol

Simple Man!!!!

September 23rd, 2010
3:02 pm

He needs to be brought up on charges ( or kicked in the nads) for posing in that body suit!!!

DC Rose

September 23rd, 2010
3:03 pm

Swiss – you’re right. pretty cobbler photos. Even if Teddy Short is innocent, everytime someone goggles his name, those cobbler photos are going to pop up. He put himself in a position to be judged by the public. Some one made the point yesterday, that they keep a certain distance from their students so they can never be accused of improper behavior. Most sane adults do the same thing. It’s the ones planning dirt/harm that get too close to kids.

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
3:04 pm

I read the complaints for all three young men..all three come from single mama homes..and he has “allegedly” played on the need for male guidance in order to get his jollies..I have a son..and he has had moments where he misses his daddy like crazy..and needed to talk to him when he can’t talk to me..and for some “joker” to pull on those emotions..yeah you one sick..sucker.

Kym – I got a daughter and quite protective of her as well and I’m with you and your sentiment about “jokers” and their dang angles.

SlimNumeroUno

September 23rd, 2010
3:04 pm

I’m amazed at how some of these clergyman have the courage to act as a man of service, yet do some of the most underhanded type things…aka preying on little boys, girls, taking advantage of vulnerable people, misusing funds….I’d be scared to play with God that way (or whatever higher power you serve)

Kym

September 23rd, 2010
3:06 pm

@Melo..no criminal charges will be filed..unless the Feds know something..if anything he will be selling off his stuff in order to pay the award. BJ said that before she filed the case..”the church” and other folks from the community(she didn’t name names..called her ) no doubt begging not to go through with the cases. Whateva..”pay what you owe..daddy..pay what you owe..

SexyCool

September 23rd, 2010
3:09 pm

See…if God struck folks down the moment that they did dirt, folks would not stray from the straight and narrow (me included.)

But since, most times, it takes a minute for bad seed sown to show its rotten fruit, we get lulled into a false sense of thinking we’ve gotten away with something.

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
3:10 pm

….I’d be scared to play with God that way (or whatever higher power you serve)

EXACTLY. That’s what I was saying. IF you been called or CLAIMED you been called, you better be sure you doing it right cause misusing your calling ain’t nothing to play with. Haters ain’t got to cheer that on, it’s coming on it’s own.

Melo!

September 23rd, 2010
3:14 pm

@Kym?

Isn’t BJ said some this started when one of the boys was 14?
And I see a possibility of the Feds sniffing for some racketeering stuff. The Feds won’t say but they already have it.

Can’t wait to look in the wife’s eyes on Sunday!

Breakingofdawn

September 23rd, 2010
3:20 pm

Leggs I was thinking the same thing…wondering how I can order one of those sleep/nap machines on the corporate card….

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 23rd, 2010
3:20 pm

“Where in the bible does it condone men on men activity?”

Slim — Hmmm… how about: “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”

:lol:

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
3:21 pm

Why did one of the company’s Exec just walked in on me? I don’t jump around for folks and titles but I ain’t crazy either. Glad I pulled this blog down before she walked up. She invited herself in, all the way in…looking at pictures and stuff across the back of my credenza. She’s 2 steps down from the CEO and this ain’t no nickel and dime company…I think we have over 50,000 employees. See that’s why I can’t be hanging out here all day…you just never know.

It's me....lurker

September 23rd, 2010
3:22 pm

walk not walked

Dan - simply...

September 23rd, 2010
3:23 pm

Why am I just reading about Lyfe Jennings?

The mask is falling off everybody these days.

Glad I took mine off

Kym

September 23rd, 2010
3:23 pm

@Melo..if wifey had any sense she would have started packing Sunday night..went to the bank at 9:01am Monday morning..and been on a plane to some exotic island by noon.

Leggs

September 23rd, 2010
3:28 pm

@Dan ~ what I don’t understand about Lyfe is why the hell he SNAP and started driving at neckbreaking speeds all the while shooting at the coppers out his window? He had to know he was throwing his life away for a few years (3.5).

Kym

September 23rd, 2010
3:32 pm

As for Lyfe Jennings..beating baby momma up..shooting in the neighborhood..and then running from the po-po in Cobb County!??/ Yeah ok..All I can say..is Coochie is a helluva drug!

Leggs

September 23rd, 2010
3:32 pm

Michael Baisden’s show is about the DL men….

Purple Rain

September 23rd, 2010
3:34 pm

He didn’t make them do anything that they didn’t want to do. But if he did do what they accuse him of he did misuse his position. At some point when a penis shows up on the scene to another dude you have to know something is not quite right.But I guess, trips, cars, college tution and payroll allows the lines to become blurry. LOL

Men in power have been “buying” women for a longtime, now it they are just buying women. Atleast it’s not the Catholic Church, because they don’t give out gifts when they mess with little boys wangs.

Dan - simply...

September 23rd, 2010
3:38 pm

@Leggs

People can only tell the lies for so long. Celebrities lies just get exposed more.

It’s a gang of everday folks that fake the funk way worse the EL.

Purple Rain

September 23rd, 2010
3:42 pm

I am guilty of coercing women into having sex with me and lavishing them with gifts and money, Who’s next?

All of these homo’s in this city are probably lining up since they know the good Bishop might be a baller in their field of play

Purple Rain

September 23rd, 2010
3:43 pm

Anyone watch Survivor last night?

Purple Rain

September 23rd, 2010
3:44 pm

Melo, I think the introverts and quiet type of women are the best in bed :)

SlimNumeroUno

September 23rd, 2010
3:45 pm

‘how about: “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”

swiss – yousa a bad bad boy… :lol:

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 23rd, 2010
3:46 pm

“I think the introverts and quiet type of women are the best in bed”

A big hellz yeah to that, Purp… Can’t beat the quiet, slightly nerdy chicks… FAAAAAAREAKS, I tell you! :-D :lol:

Dan - simply...

September 23rd, 2010
3:46 pm

Nice, Swiss. Nice.

i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)

September 23rd, 2010
3:49 pm

Slim — If anybody needed proof that there is no “god” as portrayed by religion, just look at me. ‘Cos if there was, my a$$ would have been struck down a loooooooooooong time ago… :lol:

Melo!

September 23rd, 2010
3:50 pm

I font know PR!

Sometimes a woman’s eyes too can tell you a lot about what she ain’t saying!

Your wife quiet or u married her fir other attributes?? Lol

So by your def Ared and Slim, who are self professed rather quiet in real life are daamn good!

I have always suspected! Lol

Luvbug too!