When dates disappear
I have this theory that explains why many of us either experience “the disappearing act” or are the ones pulling that trick. There is something that is best left unsaid or unrevealed. The disappearance is a gift from the dating gods that we should be thankful for.
A lot of times you have dodged a bullet or avoided some catastrophe. Is it classy to just “get ghost” on people? Absolutely not. It is, however, necessary and sometimes unavoidable. A lot of people (ok, mostly women) say they want closure. I think they say this until they get the so called closure.
Take it from me, ladies. You do not want closure. Ignorance is bliss.
When dates disappear on you, how do you handle it?
Have you ever “faded out” of someone’s life and never told them why you checked out?
Here is your chance to get it out if you feel like confessing your romantic crime of disappearing or fading out.
I’ll go first. Dear Xavier: I am sorry I never called you back. After our first date, you creeped me out talking about your earlobe fetish. I am sure you were a very nice guy. I hope you find the love and the earlobes you deserve. I feel better already!
Now see? I couldn’t say to his face that he was giving me the creepies. In this situation, I think a disappearing act was the unclassy, cowardly way out, but at least his feelings were spared, right?
When dates disappear, is it really a bad thing?
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
478 comments Add your comment
kimmie
September 23rd, 2010
11:31 am
This is a blog, people should be more honest.
WM – That is the most hillarious thing I think I’ve read on here! This is entertainment, not psychotherapy! Most folks are blogging from work! And we are all grown and are free to say what we want on this thing, within limits. Just cause we aren’t all turning our butts up for the whole world, or you, to see – don’t get it all twisted!
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
September 23rd, 2010
11:32 am
Simple — After dinner, but before dessert…
I am whatever you say I am
September 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
<———–is a huge fan of Dirk Diggler
*sigh* Why Marky Mark gotta be married with four
tribekids?Melo!
September 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
Lol @Swiss!!
sounds like 2 where’s were a horny match that glorious Sunday!
@DD?
Talking of a shoes under the table.
I have always had such high regard for Lisa Riam(sp) of fox5 news(fill in anchor) then one day when she was reading news and looking spot on, the camera man takes a shot of her feet but she had sandals on.
Grossed me’ out and that spark I had just went poof! Lol
Purple Rain
September 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
Swiss, LOL
Dan - simply...
September 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
@Red
Know that feeling too.
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
CZ…Good looking out!!! I am… I got you on the rain check
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:35 am
We all know Lyfe used some stats (which we call lies, dayum lies and stats), but the overall message in the song is positive. I know we preach redemption on the blog and not bringing up the past, I guess that is why certain components were left out of the song…Lyfe is beyond that stage now.
@czBrat I agree with that 11:30 I would add my wings to your peanut butter cheesecake bites, but I had to cancel the order after the press conference was called off.
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:36 am
Note to self…..”I am” Likes Dirk Diggler!!! Find the Boogie nights Tight Polyester pants and put them on standby….
Lady-I'm the exception to the rule!
September 23rd, 2010
11:37 am
it is easy to place blame and point the fingers………a thought…..
SexyCool
September 23rd, 2010
11:38 am
WM, if most are like me, the days of confessing/baring all on this blog have come and gone. Folks can attest to my past tendency to *over*share.
These days, I tend to filter what I post and offer more opinion/insight than history. (Besides, I’ve told most of my story more than once already anyway.)
Sassy Me...I'm ALL in :-)
September 23rd, 2010
11:39 am
blue/Dianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got a phone call from a lawyer representing a young lady who said Fred was inappropiate with her yesterday at the strip club…
SimpleMan you don’t have to prepare brunch cuz i’m treating the entire blog crew with my winnings!!
This is a blog, people should be more honest.
One shouldn’t throw stones when they live in a glass house. Let’s start with youuu…what would you like to share?
blue - ™
September 23rd, 2010
11:40 am
@WM – This is a blog, people should be more honest – um, yeah…k. and what im seeing on here is women saying point blank they have played ghost…so what more honesty are you looking for? did i miss something?
@Sexy – please tell me he isnt locked up again?
M. (pronouced M dot)
September 23rd, 2010
11:41 am
@Dirty
LOL Dang now that is crazy!
@I Am
It was a joke responding to the list that Dirty wrote.
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:42 am
Sassy Me….Was Fred accused of buying a house and sitting on the sofa and requesting a massage????
SexyCool
September 23rd, 2010
11:42 am
Perhaps he did talk about himself just a bit – “25% of all men are unstable”.
Cause kicking down folks doors and shooting up the street just reeks of instability.
SexyCool
September 23rd, 2010
11:43 am
blue – began another 3.5 years on yesterday.
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:44 am
SexyCool
Lyfe is not unstable….He just needed a hug….
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:45 am
@Melo you didn’t like her sandals that is so funny!
@Swiss you are naughty and that was funny. Why did you go ghost was the puddy not good, or you wanted a relationship?
@blue I love Grease and that would have freaked me out big time
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:48 am
Two words
The past
Dan - simply...
September 23rd, 2010
11:48 am
@WM
Ion care. I’m honest about my past and how I deal/ have dealt with things. What I don’t do is betray anyone’s privacy or confidence.
Melo!
September 23rd, 2010
11:49 am
DD??
How u gonna put on sandals when speaking in front of million people when you know u get stank feet and one ‘he’ll no ‘ Big toe twisted to the left???
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:50 am
@Sassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy
LOL yep I agree with your post. As for Fred I am not worried about that lady…we have a hold harmless agreement she should take her complaints to the pink pony.
KDub
September 23rd, 2010
11:50 am
Stinky breath will do it every time…how do you tell a person that? You don’t you just disappear….
Lady-I'm the exception to the rule!
September 23rd, 2010
11:50 am
lmbao!
czBrat
September 23rd, 2010
11:51 am
where we going?
i’ll let the blog vote.
SexyC, your 11:38 was my thought exactly. most (since i’ve been blogging) have come straight with their stories and no one professes perfection. but why is it that if a woman doesn’t have a sordid past (or present), she’s immediately considered suspect? is it really that hard to believe that some folks are just much more reserved than others? smdh.
anyway ….. i’m done. let’s eat!
SexyCool
September 23rd, 2010
11:51 am
One word – unstable.
Sassy Me...I'm ALL in :-)
September 23rd, 2010
11:52 am
Was Fred accused of buying a house and sitting on the sofa and requesting a massage????
No, he allegedly followed one of the young ladies to the restroom and tried to give her a “private dance”…
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
September 23rd, 2010
11:52 am
“Why did you go ghost was the puddy not good, or you wanted a relationship?”
Eh… I just wasn’t that attracted to her (she was white
). But hey, free azz is free azz… 
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:53 am
Who, I meant Where are we eating????
Melo!
September 23rd, 2010
11:53 am
Or bad body odor
If it’s a guy u can assume he’s a outdoor person or craftsman or something
Bad odor on a woman? Especially if she is evenwl dressed?
He’ll No
White man
September 23rd, 2010
11:54 am
Back
czBrat
September 23rd, 2010
11:54 am
and what possible reason could the cameraman have to focus in on a reporter’s feet????
i admit, it’s hot as he!! out today but i had to go with a ballerina flat instead of sandals cuz my toenails are not done
DC Rose
September 23rd, 2010
11:54 am
Blue – you remember Fred in the women’s locker room last month? He does have a freak side. Do they have a bracelet for that?
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:54 am
How u gonna put on sandals when speaking in front of million people when you know u get stank feet and one ‘he’ll no ‘ Big toe twisted to the left???
@melo you are a mess that is funny as hell!
kimmie
September 23rd, 2010
11:55 am
SCool & Brat – I am >here< with both your posts! We've been upfront, but not errbody wants to let it all hang out all the time!
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:55 am
One letter
U
Simple Man!!!!
September 23rd, 2010
11:55 am
i’m swiss™ At least tell me she had soft hands!!! Nothing worse than a lady ball grabing and she got Man-hands!!!
White man
September 23rd, 2010
11:57 am
Simple Man…..I knew a woman that was absolutely beautiful…I mean BEAUTIFUL but she had xcema on her hands that made them VERY rough. It was gross…..I would have never been with her for that reason.
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:57 am
@Sasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy
We need to stand behind Fred on this one. Where is he by the way it is high noon and time for him to make that money!!!!!!
DC Rose
September 23rd, 2010
11:58 am
If I were a dude, I would not call a woman back who’s toes hang over the front of her sandals.
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
September 23rd, 2010
11:58 am
@Swiss you are a bad boy! I hope you paid for dinner before you went ghost…LOL
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
September 23rd, 2010
11:58 am
Simple — Her hands were fine… Just not my type…
Sassy Me...I'm ALL in :-)
September 23rd, 2010
11:59 am
we have a hold harmless agreement she should take her complaints to the pink pony.
That works for me…looks like Fred won’t be doing anymore luch time parties over there…you gotta find a new spot Dianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…I heard Fred got skillz.
Side question…or maybe not cause I’m late but why do you guys think the press conference was cancelled?
i'm swiss™ (but you can call me Mr. Goodnight)
September 23rd, 2010
11:59 am
“I hope you paid for dinner before you went ghost…LOL”
I always pay, Dirty D… I am a gentleman…
SexyCool
September 23rd, 2010
11:59 am
Aaaannnddd in other news….
I support the Florida father who boarded the school bus to defend his daughter. Maybe he was just a *bit* extreme in his actions. But the passion he displayed in wanting to protect his disable child from being taunted and bullied was touching.
Could he have handled it differently? Sure. But….I bet no one on that bus messes with his daughter anymore.
kimmie
September 23rd, 2010
12:00 pm
If it’s a guy u can assume he’s a outdoor person or craftsman or something
Melo – Nope, that don’t fly either. When you come in from outside, take a shower, simple. No excuses, ever! In fact, it’s easier for you men. You jump in the shower, brush teeth & go. Shave if you have to. Don’t have to fuss with hair, makeup, jewelry, etc. Don’t come up to me all funky! Those stank ones are the very ones that want you to put your face in it too! No can do!
White man
September 23rd, 2010
12:00 pm
It could be because the lawyer does not want any details to come out until trial.
DC Rose
September 23rd, 2010
12:00 pm
SexyC – he’s got my vote too. That’s the only way to get a bully’s attention.
Breakingofdawn
September 23rd, 2010
12:01 pm
Sassy, there’s some truth in the whole mess somewhere. Better not to deny too much before a trial starts.