@ARed – LOL
@Slim – Inner Bytch is a necessity…im the nicest person but she is lingering in there, and watch out if she gets loose lol
@kimmie – sometimes thats the only way to do it. its like ripping off a bandaid, do it quick and all at once…no looking back, cause you dont want to see how much skin you lost, but at least your free of that nasty sticky feeling and the damp smell….hmmm…maybe that sounded better in my head…aww screw it…

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I am often disappointed that they don’t just give me some insight (constructive criticism) for me to take going forward. And I am like you in that I can be somewhat of a pushover. I need to find my inner Bytch I suppose…or at least take the Assert Yoself 101

Slim – When you talk about your dating situations, I can relate to a lot of what you say, so I feel we’re in the same boat a lot.

The difference you’ve seen me wild out on here, so I know it’s within me. I guess I’m too worried as coming off as the “angry black woman.” But there is a way to be assertive without being that way.

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Dear A$$wipe,

If you are wondering why I never returned your calls after meeting you at J.R. Crickets last June, it’s because I saw you arguing with your wife/chick/baby momma in the parking lot that night when my bestie and I were leaving the bar.

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@Ladies

Speaking as someone that has used the phrase; sometimes it is [me] and not you.

And the fact that [I] didn’t elaborate further is the proof.

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blue – I like your style, girl! You sound a lot like me, the “new” me that was really the “first” me until I started listening to other folks. I was a take-no-prisoners, don’t take no mess sister. Things were working fairly well for me. Then folks started telling me I needed to lighten up and compromise more and give guys a fighting chance. I started doing that and basically became a doormat! Then I wised up, took out the trash, and went back to my old ways. I am happy now. The rest is history!LOL!!

Slim – One thing I have always refused to do is listen to any criticism from a dude, especially one that was dumping me. Because what he sees as a minus would be a plus to someone else. I allowed my first serious bf to criticise me and it really wrecked my spirit for awhile. He told me I was going to turn a lot of men off and no man was going to want me. Until that lightbulb went off in my head and I realized he was putting me down to build himself up and there was nothing wrong with me, he & I just didn’t work together! Now if I have a real problem that requires some intervention, then be a friend to me and speak up. Otherwise, take your criticism somewhere else and find a woman that better suits you.

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What are we afraid of? The potential backlash or backhand (lol that was a joke, maybe depending on who youre dealing with), it coming back on us, or just not being upfont?
mornin, M.. since i’m a pretty big believer in karma, the fear of “backlash” or having something come back on me is exactly why i make myself clear upfront and play no games.

ladies, occasionally unleashing the inner she-beast is invigorating. and it goes a looooong way toward squashing future drama. try it some time.

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@WhiteMan ~ Man Law Book…..WLB = Woman Law Book. These books hold the bylaws, rules, code violations.

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Morning All,

I have never pulled the disappearing act in a true relationship nor have I had it done to me. BUT, During my dating years I’ve had a few get ghost on me. I have definitely gotten ghost numerous times as well. If you or i stuck around and made it to the relationship stage then i of course felt obliged to at least discuss why it’s not working. When in the dating game a few dates, calls, etc doesnt warrant any closure.
Heyal i’ll be honest up until I was ready to quit running them streets I didnt give it a passing thought. To me that was life and how the game went. From the jump I mostly knew ima hit this a few times then I’m through with it. No need to discuss that, what am i gonna say ‘it was alright, even swap aint no swindle.

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@SC

**slow golf clap**

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@Swiss you are a mess!!!!! LOL

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damn, A Red, and all this time I thought my insight, and words of wisdom were doing you some good. Silly me….

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Wow, I’ve been in training and away for a couple of days and come back to new bloggers….great!

On topic…..While I would like to know what the problem is, if it’s not worth the trouble, I’ll live. I can’t say haven’t done the ghost thing per se, I just don’t answer calls if there’s no further interest outside of initial interaction.. I did have the Cobb County Cop that kept asking for my number and when I finally gave AND EXPLAINED not looking for a relationship he sent a text the VERY NEXT DAY saying hello my queen, in that case he NEEDED the talk. I asked him to not call me anymore. That was creepy. In the past I would delete numbers but once I accidentally answered an acquiantance’s call…didn’t recognize the number…that I didn’t want to talk to so since then I the numbers and the entire name so when it appears I can hit IGNORE.

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kimmie – I can understand that frame of mind with being open to criticism from someone dumping you. Being open to hear what they say has to be taken with a grain of salt and then raked over with a fine toof comb because you are still considering the source with which the info is coming from. If a dude told me he hated the way I breathe, then I could hardly take that seriously. If he said something else with a bit more merit, then I would take a glance at that. Nothing more, nothing less. Some dudes I wouldn’t ask a dayum thang to…

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“@Swiss you are a mess!!!!! LOL”

Whatever, Dirty D… You just crushed my dreams.

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@kimmie – thanx! i went thru the same spell, feeling like i needed to give more chances. more chances for some people equals going blind to the pain their putting you thru. after time, had to revert to my natural state…this has led to some serious upsets lol. but hey, its better than swallowing it all and being miserable forever!
@Lady – have y’all seen the halloween, mixed with thanksgiving, mixed with christmas stuff out?!?! lets not talk about it…could we please have one holiday at a time?? there in a certain order for a reason….i should not be trying to figure out if this pumpkin is a halloween or thanksgiving pumpkin…

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WillieD 10.26?

U got it!

I have eased them off easy as well. U know the sporadic phone calls as I transitioned to other fertile hunting ground. Every now and then going back for relapse bootey until she permanently moved on or I did.

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LMAO! I hate you so much right now. How dare you use that bad word against me?

Haven’t been recently. May try to get over to Cascade Road one day next week.

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I have gone ghost more times than I can count. I think it is a good exit move…I am not wasting my time sitting with you to explain why I feel you are not a good fit.

1. You asked if I wanted to go to Ryan’s or Golden Corral (you like buffets). I was a size 1 at the time, I was not going to chow down all of that dirty food.

2. You mentioned your ex being crazy, and how she had you locked up for stalking, you just happened to be in her sub division at 3am ringing her doorbell, because you wanted to talk.

3. You used the thingy to stir your coffee with to drink the coffee out of.

4. You reminded me of Steven Q.

5. You told me you had bad credit on the first date, and bragged about your Lexus.

6. I didn’t like your style of dress our first date

7. You had man hips and I did not see those when we met you were sitting.

8. When I met you, you wore shades and a baseball cap now you took that stuff and I found ET.

9. We do not have the same core values.

10. You curse, smoke or drink too much.

11. Your fingernails were dirty.

12. I just don’t like you.

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Ok ladies, I have a question…..what makes you on a first date decide between not speaking to the gentleman again and going for it ALL on the first date?

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Dan / SexyC — Speaking of shankapotomus… Two of my tennis teams play out of Chastain Park & let me tell you, it’s hazardous out there with the tennis courts right next to the golf course. I got nailed in the back of the neck with a golf ball while on the court during a playoff match a few weeks back. And these fools had the nerve to get pi$$y with me when I — ahem — politely pointed out that the fairway way the other direction when they came looking for their d@mn ball…

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@Ared

Speaking for myself: I’ve used it when I didn’t know what I wanted from [her], when I did know what I wanted from [her], when I didn’t want what [she] wanted, and when I didn’t want anything.

I don’t deny the “cop-out” -ishness of it, but when an explanation would lead to a further conversations and recriminations a statement like that is the D-bag emergency credit card.

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@Lurker & Anyone else who doesnt answer calls

It is funny how cell phones have shifted the landscape in the dating game.

I dont play Phone Games with women. If I call you once and you dont call back, I am deleting your number. I dont have time to call you like a
Jerry Lewis Telathon.

Whats really funny about phones is I was in the sprint store 3 weeks ago and if someones phone breaks, they are in the Sprint Store the same day. Women have phones glued to their hands, ears, etc. They arent going a whole day or even a week without a phone. So she knows that you are calling. She didnt want to call you.

So if you call and she does not answer, just delete the number. Actually I prefer to not even call women. If she is interestd she will call you!

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I’ve done the ghost thing to people and had it done to me once with a good female friend. She went ghost because I had been the scape goat for so long while she cheated on her fiance. So he said the one condition to getting married would be to dump me as a friend. We were close for years, same born day, been thru the good and bad; then one day phone calls and emails just stopped. Found out years later on the reason why, hubby felt like I was the bad apple friend. I was hurt for a minute, then I just let it go.

I’ve been ghost on guys because there was just nothing more to be said or done. When I’m done, I’m pretty clear on being done. Was it the right approach who knows…when there is nothing left to say, why make up issh?

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@DD – LMAO
3. You used the thingy to stir your coffee with to drink the coffee out of.
8. When I met you, you wore shades and a baseball cap now you took that stuff and I found ET.

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Leggs….was that a serious question?

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