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Online love is a battlefield too?

I have to hand to the single people who are online dating these days. Seriously, you are true soldiers of love! A lot of us go online, create a profile, answer the billion personality questions, load a picture, then actually communicate with potential dates. That takes focus and effort that some people don’t even put into “offline” dating!

I think people are used to doing it now so the rules of engagement, as it were, are easier to determine and perhaps better then it used to be. What kind of things should you always consider when deciding to date online? How do you gauge real interest? It seems that the physical attraction (or lack thereof) is the biggest hurdle to clear in the beginning. What do you think makes it easier to offset that challenge?

Have you tried online dating recently? Do you believe it has lead to good matches? If you had to put a profile up, what sorts of things would get your attention? Humor and wit, racy pictures?

The matchmaker, Paul Brunson who guest blogged for us (aka Real Life “Hitch” ) has taken to Twitter to connect single people from all over!  It’s very interesting to see the questions that people want to ask the bachelor/bachelorette.

If you meet someone online, what are the most important questions to ask to get a feel for how compatible (crazy?) they are?

529 comments Add your comment

blue - ™

September 22nd, 2010
9:00 am

oohh, dark in here…turning on the lights…checking for vamps….whats all this confetti doing here….

GM all!

DC Rose

September 22nd, 2010
9:03 am

Blue – ask Fred about the confetti.

Lady-Wednesday Lover!

September 22nd, 2010
9:06 am

Morning Gang!

DC Rose

September 22nd, 2010
9:09 am

Good morning all!

I am friends with 3 couples that met, dated, married and have kids that met on line. Amazing to me, but they are all very compatible.

But I knew two guys that used on line dating ss a dating pool. They appeared to be the new on line players.

I must admit, I’ve been curious, but not enough to move forward. It’s too public for my taste.

2CPTG©

September 22nd, 2010
9:09 am

g’morning….

online dating can be the shyt!! cause if you’re ugly, I can just bypass your profile without having to explain anything. But now if you and your picture don’t add up in real life, then, Houston, we have a problem! But after getting past the physical attraction, then you guage their other qualities, and see how those fit into your equation….

2CPTG©

September 22nd, 2010
9:13 am

I wonder did Eddie Long meet those “boys” on-line…….damn shame, Bishop!!!!! what’s funny, is that I knew firsthand, yes, of him using his “henchmen” to rent hotel rooms for him for his secret trysts….but those were with women…..

evy

September 22nd, 2010
9:13 am

gm, peoples…
@ blue: i’d be careful if i were you – i heard about a pomeranian who got turned while he was sniffing around the confetti…could be a trap…

evy

September 22nd, 2010
9:19 am

btw, new here (please be gentle) – would i be overstepping the bounds of my status to set up this morning’s coffee? i was thinkin’ irish…

DC Rose

September 22nd, 2010
9:21 am

Welcome evy! I’m too new to give permission… but may I have mine with extra cream? Thanks

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 22nd, 2010
9:21 am

Morning All!

2CPTG – yeah that thing with the Bishop…..Im just sorry to hear it. Its an ugly story all the way around.

Never tried online dating and havent given it much thought. Ive known people that have done it though and seem to love it.

blue - ™

September 22nd, 2010
9:24 am

all clear on vamps….

@DC – Fred and confetti….sounds like a recipe for disaster…or really good Youtube videos….either/or
@2C – lol, true but scary. i mean, i never tried online dating, but my first question would be how do i know the pic i see is really you? id be nervous about ending up with some slimy dude…

hiii evy!!! – that would make him…a vampire pomeranian…..hmmm…one more thing to be afraid of…

evy

September 22nd, 2010
9:25 am

ty, rose – extra cream it is…pastry, dear?

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 22nd, 2010
9:27 am

evy – welcome! I’ll have a cup of that tea…my allergies are kicking my azz…

blue - ™

September 22nd, 2010
9:29 am

@2C – saw that Eddie Long thing last night and just said whoaa 8O …reporter said something about there being little ceremonies and jewelry exchanged….weeiird….

evy

September 22nd, 2010
9:30 am

back atcha, blue – yup, that it would; glad you’re all clear…dinna be afeared (they can smell that, y’know)

re: misrepresentations – seems to me that goes for more than just the pic; it’s all kind of anonymous, isn’t it (unless you’re checking IPs or sumthin)…could be your ex messin with you – or -hee hee hee – could be yer mom checkin ta see if yer mindin yer manners like she taught ya…

evy

September 22nd, 2010
9:34 am

hiya, mo, & ty – tea & sympathy comin up!

@blue: well, one man’s weird is another man’s wired…gotta wonder, sometimes, tho, whether or not those wires were installed by a qualified professional…(smh)

2CPTG©

September 22nd, 2010
9:36 am

blue….and all this time I thought he wore those muscle shirts to impress the ladies!!!! wow! first the Catholic priests, now this…

Melo

September 22nd, 2010
9:36 am

Good morning!

Yep we have a case of ‘Lawd Have Mercy’ today with this Eddie Long thing!!

I ain’t a big fan anyway.

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 22nd, 2010
9:37 am

blue – i thought the same thing about the ceremonies. Just seemed a lil odd…i know churches have different things going on (deacon ordinations, pastor anniversaries, etc) but what they mentioned on the news ws nothing I’d ever heard of.

Breakingofdawn

September 22nd, 2010
9:38 am

I did online dating in the 90’s(no horror stories), and earlier this year I did match.com for the free weekend. But quickly realized I just don’t have the energy for it so I quickly deleted the profile. I can’t explain why, online dating seems to have just changed almost shady-like ways. I don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account, I just think for me I like being off the grid(net) as I get older. I’ve lurked here for months before even making a comment. I think I would just prefer a introduction to a “friend” via family and friends opposed to online dating.

Kym

September 22nd, 2010
9:39 am

Good Morning All,

I agree with 2C online dating can work great..haven’t tried in a while though I still get matches from eharmony..but I have met some really great guys that eventhough we didn’t work out to happily ever after. They are really cool dudes to talk to and check in on from time to time. As for questions to ask..well that varies depending on how the exchange goes.

@2C you know you gonna make some Bishop followers mad..but I will say this he better come with his checkbook or some serious legal representation..cause the young men suing him went and got BJ Bernstein. She was Gernarlow Wilson(sp) attorney..she doesn’t strike me as the type of attorney to take a bootleg case. So Bishop likes the young men(boys)..too tight shirts and vest..somebody told me he got himself a hairpiece now. LOL!! Follow the message..not the man..man will disappoint you ever time.

DC Rose

September 22nd, 2010
9:39 am

evy – no pastries for me. I’ve already had an awesome breakfast.

Lady-Wednesday Lover!

September 22nd, 2010
9:40 am

never did online dating sites, never did speed dating, never had a successful outcome with meeting a man online meaning it ending it to something worthwhile……..hmmmmmm online hasn’t been friendly dating wise…..i truly prefer the traditional way too so it was no love lost…….

y’all drinking coffee I need a double gg with oj and cranberry with a lime on the side! do we still do the blog bar folks?!? lol!

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 22nd, 2010
9:42 am

Kym – lol, funny you should mention the hairpiece. He does have one. Now there will be some followers upset but like you said, follow the message and not the man. I attended his church yeeeeears ago and he always said “stop telling folks that ‘Bishop said’…I didnt say anything, Im relaying the message”. But this is definitely a mess….I hate to hear about it, for all parties involved.

2CPTG – not the tight shirts!! LOL!

Dig That

September 22nd, 2010
9:43 am

Wassup erybody

@evy- Welcome and yes I will have a cup.

@Melo- Man wassup with that? Not Eddie Long. Say it ain’t so. Lol

Lady-Wednesday Lover!

September 22nd, 2010
9:44 am

melo the situation is messy to me just like some teachers i know they allow these kids in their personal space, do adults things, let them drive cars, do to dinner do the church thing call it mentoring then years later you have a lega case…..I don’t fool with kids. only my child and nieces and nephew. even my cheer squad i am at a distantce….i see it all the time the professional gets railroad trying to be too damn nice with again kids and teen-agers

and by all means there are GREAT mentors out there! i just see some suspect mentors more than the others!

Breakingofdawn

September 22nd, 2010
9:44 am

tight shirts, greasy hair, glossy nails, to much brightwhite teeth, gang of game lyrics..if this was a 1960’s movie he would be a pimp…

Kym

September 22nd, 2010
9:45 am

@Wisey before I forget..I read that this is National Singles Week..and there are a bunch of Singular Celebrations going on in Midtown this week.

Simple Man!!!!

September 22nd, 2010
9:46 am

Morning All!!! Blue…I am sorry about the confetti…I had this bucket list thing to do when I thought everyone was gone last night…. ( Hope I am does not bring in the pics…)

On topic… Have dabbled in online dating..Not a huge fan but It sure makes filling up the que easy!!! LOL

i'm swiss™

September 22nd, 2010
9:52 am

“….but those were with women….”

You sure about that, 2can? :lol: Hey, what’s the old song say…? “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world…” Guess he just took that a bit too literally… :lol:

Seriously, though… If you want an iron-clad, take-it-to-the-bank, tell-tale sign that someone is gay… just look for the ones who are the most public in their condemnation of homosexuality. Never fails…

LURKER-1

September 22nd, 2010
9:54 am

2C, for no reason other than just because he EL, I always suspected the females. The young men caught me by surprise. The breakin last June is making alittle for sense. But his flock, especially the females, will driknk the kool-aid. Jim Jones had about 900 to drink, I think EL can do that X10.

Kym

September 22nd, 2010
9:56 am

@Swiss..I told someone this morning ..seems the Bishop upset the Gay Mafia..so now..”Pay what you owe sucker..Pay what you owe..”(said in my best Riley Freeman voice.

Luvbug

September 22nd, 2010
9:57 am

Some years back, I started the online dating process, but did not (could not) complete it. I haven’t ruled it out. Maybe down the line.

2C – Did you ever run across women who only looked similar to the picture they posted? Glamour Shots? Pictures from 10-20 years ago and what not?

To the experienced online daters: Based on your hit and miss experiences, what have you found to be the best, most useful questions to ask a promising online interest?

blue - ™

September 22nd, 2010
9:59 am

@evy – since you’re passing out pastries, can i have a boston creme please?
@2C – lol…never knew much about him b4 last night, he just looks…welll…special, lets say…
@Mo – im with you…creepy…i missed it, how old were these folks? i thought they said their like teenagers???
@Simple – ahh, you’re the culprit…thats right, there was something last night about interpretive dance….hmmm…well come help me clean it up then and alls forgiven ;)

Melo

September 22nd, 2010
10:01 am

@Lady 9.44!

Right on point. Adults must be careful and not out themselves in situations that bring them into question or disrepute.
U can mentor and counsel without being too close.

Why he flew that boy to NZ for a bird celeb is ????
smdh

Perception is reality even if he settles or wins this he’s is damaged goods!

Maybe next time he will focus on less material stuff and vane physical appearances!

Daamn, just daamn!

Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, 8, 9 AND THE 1

September 22nd, 2010
10:02 am

Hola,

The blog ate my post.

On topic: what I said last topic

Off topic: A man told me something similar about bishop a few years ago. I thought he was jealous, but this sounds a lot like what he said jewelry and cars….dude was fussing about bishop having a lot of pie men around him.

WELCOME EVY, I will take some coffee with pumpkin spice creamer and a splenda. No pastries I am a four, so I must maintain this girly figure.

Luvbug

September 22nd, 2010
10:02 am

Leave Eddie alone!!!

Why can’t I disassociate him from the comment Purple made about him wearing a lace front? Hot Dog!!

I can’t even look at Eddie without thinking about that. LOL

side note: lace front (allegedly)

Melo

September 22nd, 2010
10:02 am

Put themselves

i'm swiss™

September 22nd, 2010
10:05 am

On topic:

The only real differences between online dating & trying to meet people the old-fashioned way(s) are:

1) Queuing up “prospects” is much more time efficient w/ online dating

2) There are some folks out there who will try to conceal their true appearance in their online profile pics. (Never understood this… What do these people think is gonna happen when their date sees them in person?)

Otherwise, it’s all the same. There are psychos, there are players, there are real folk. For best results, just be real.

evy

September 22nd, 2010
10:08 am

@ dawn: with you on the energy thing – i sometimes enjoy the chat, the flirt, the IDEA of the possibilities…but it kinda seems like a lotta maintenance to me, and that b4 there’s even a relationship…think i, too, would prefer an intro thru someone i already knew…

@ kym: re: following the message not the man; good advice, i think, for us all in most situations

@ rose: k, glad yer fully fueled

@ lady weds.: blog bar? there’s a blog bar? what time does it open?

@ dig: ty, & pouring…

czBrat

September 22nd, 2010
10:10 am

HiYas!

LOL @ today’s topic. i think all the regular blogger and lurkers already know i met s/o online. i never intended to meet anyone in person (you know, cuz of the crazies), but s/o persisted and our phone conversations were just so cool and real …. and there you have it. the more we become a viral society, the more folks will turn to technology to fill the gaps in their lives. including finding a compatible mate.

Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, 8, 9 AND THE 1

September 22nd, 2010
10:10 am

Swiss and my other savvy bloggers if you find a pic of the two claimants Maurice Robinson, 20, and Anthony Flagg, 21, please post the link. I want to see if they are pie-looking.

czBrat

September 22nd, 2010
10:15 am

DD, the pics were shown on the morning news (fox). yeah. they’re a bit pie-ish. :(

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 22nd, 2010
10:16 am

DD – I’ll see if I can find some but they did show them on the news this AM. They didnt look pie-ish to me but…..

i'm swiss™

September 22nd, 2010
10:17 am

Okay… help a whiteboy out… I understand from the context what “pie” is referring to in general… but why pie? Sorry, I’m not hip, so I’m kinda slow on these things… ;-)

Lady-Wednesday Lover!

September 22nd, 2010
10:18 am

Hi evy!!!! yes we have a blog bar here!!!! lol as soon as dreamsM check in he will strat the rounds! 1st round on me! welcome to MIAville! :)

I agree melo!

Dan - simply...

September 22nd, 2010
10:18 am

@DD

Pie looking or not, molestation is an attack.

The victim is never at fault.

NBF, just saying – this issue hits close to home

i'm swiss™

September 22nd, 2010
10:18 am

Is it because pie is fruity? :lol:

Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green, 8, 9 AND THE 1

September 22nd, 2010
10:19 am

DangIT how did I miss the pics…I watch ABC that is a problem. Did you all read the actual complaint???? The claimant alleged that EL gave him some PSH on the NZ trip. It is under #35. :shock:

blue - ™

September 22nd, 2010
10:19 am

all this talk of pie, now i want pumpkin pie….