Do you come with references?
Happy Monday everyone!
I’m hanging out in south Florida this week so our good friend and commenter Mr. M. is stepping in to kick things up… from a man’s perspective:
At one time in all of our careers, someone (employer or potential client) has requested a reference. They want to know not only to get an idea of all the good reasons for explaining their experiences with you, but also for any bad experiences of working with you.
What if we used this practice in dating? What affect could this have on the dating
landscape?
What if you met someone and they asked to speak to people from your most recent
relationships? Would you provide their number? If not, what makes you fearful to provide information?
Wow, Mr. M. is suggesting that we actual provide dating references? I don’t know about this one, I shutter at the thought of the things my ex before last would say about how things went. If you end things on a good note, are you certain the person would give you a good reference to your new potential romance? Would you trust them to tell the truth, as they saw it?
I can’t wait to see what you guys think about this one. Discuss! Oh and I will be checking in during the day, hopefully from a beach chair with a fruity drink in hand!
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346 comments Add your comment
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
1:51 pm
Okay, I take that back…too far.
But seriously, I don’t feel like doing all that. Exhausting.
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
1:53 pm
@For Real – Blue: Then what’s your problem? lets try “Honesty” for $200, Alex….
@swiss – that aint right, smh, that just aint right…..
i'm swiss™
September 20th, 2010
1:53 pm
Oh, and thanks for the PSA, For Real — apparently, the message hasn’t gotten out to everyone.
On that note, from Bill Maher’s “New Rules” segment this weekend:
New Rule — Ladies, if you dragged your man to see “Eat. Love. Pray.” this summer, then you must accompany him to a movie called “Football. Jerk off. Nap.”
For Real
September 20th, 2010
1:54 pm
Blue: He did tell you that ole girl was his friend right? If so, is that not honesty?
Melo
September 20th, 2010
1:54 pm
@For Real?
U don’t have a shortage either!
@Luv
If u wanna play and just dish it to guys like For Real who have a long layaway plan,that’s cool too.
Remember tho that sex is like candy, u can always unwrap it eat and change to a different flavor when u done with this one.
Dan - simply...
September 20th, 2010
1:58 pm
@Luv
I wouldn’t take that “holding back” advice. Because (to continue the analogy) unless we see your entire skill set, you may never get called up to the majors.
I’d revise it to being selective with who you showcase the skills too.
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
2:00 pm
Melo – My Non-Marriage plan may not be so different than Real’s layaway plan…but, Real is in a completely different sex league than me anyway, so it wouldn’t be hard for our types to completely miss each other. LOL
I gotta go for the niche market…
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
2:03 pm
@For Real – perhaps i should have said complete honesty…there was nothings hidden in this scenario, no half truths?
Simple Man!!!!
September 20th, 2010
2:05 pm
Luvbug,
I love for a woman to be if not as good, be at least as willing to work at it!!! And if she should get to the point where she can take away my chapionship belt…Then I will wife her on the spot!!! LOL
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
2:05 pm
just heard a commercial for that new Nancy Grace show – shes handling a landlord/tenant dispute where the tenant abused the house so bad that there are dead animals around the premises…she says specifically that there are vultures in their front yard picking at carcasses and they dont see a problem with it
, sure hope i misunderstood something there……OMG
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
2:07 pm
Dan – No, I’ve never held back…just never been a freak…I just do what’s comfortable for me…so the advice is what it is. No plans to change in either direction.
Not unless my life depended on it.
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:12 pm
Eat, love , pray = me throwing up
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:12 pm
Melo
September 20th, 2010
2:13 pm
For Real’s sex league??
@Luv?
I know what u talking about,check:
For Real: Luvbug baby just come lay here
Luvbug:alright sugar, mwaaaaa’
For Real: (feeling u) u wet yet?
Luvbug: a lil, keep touching me’! Now what’s that smell from the kitchen
For Real: what smell? Ohh shyyt, I left the stove on high, the grits are burning!
Luv: go switch off!( in high pitched voice)
For Real: but we about to make luv, just call. 911 to bring the ambulance, just in case?
Luv: are u serious?!! Get the phluckk off me’!
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:13 pm
:sick:
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:13 pm
:green:
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
2:14 pm
@swiss – that eat, love, pray thing is soooo obviously a chick movie, why would you bring your guy anyway? i mean, he’d prob go just so that he could get paid for it later….
DreamsMaterialize
September 20th, 2010
2:17 pm
Question for you, Can a dude and a chick be friends if they sex each other?
Dude and a chick can’t be friends period, except under extreme circumstances.
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:17 pm
any chick flick i wouldn’t see, please believe I wouldn’t make my man go (if I had a man)
So I went to lunch at twisted taco….
there were men there, not my type.
Oh well, at least the tacos were good
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:19 pm
<———-doens't like chick flicks….unless it's Sex and the city or desperate housewives…or if they happen to come on TBS (I don't have cable go figure)
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
2:20 pm
Wait…actually, I have on some positions. I wasn’t trying to keep him for a ring… I just wasn’t trying to be owned. LOL
Dreams- What circumstances??
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
2:21 pm
@i am – so whats wrong with my trademark? lol
SlimNumeroUno
September 20th, 2010
2:21 pm
For Real – that must be Dr. Seuss the adult version.
‘ it sure looked funny when I was f@#king her’
@swiss you sure do find ways to make me crack da hellz up. I bet you were a magician that night, making the snake disappear and then reappear into the hat several times…Now you seeeeee it…..now you don’t VOILA!! lol
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
2:22 pm
blue- I may be the only one…but I kind of like Nancy Grace. She is entertaining. I saw her new show. A guy was dating 12 women outside of his marriage and one sued for money for a plane ticket. She blasted him by showing evidence that he had Chlamydia.
Dan - simply...
September 20th, 2010
2:22 pm
@Dreams
Men and women can be friends. You just have to avoid the awkward silences.
DreamsMaterialize
September 20th, 2010
2:23 pm
Oh well, at least the tacos were good
I am They just built a Tilted Kilt over on Mt. Vernon. It’s like a hooters, so you’re sure to find some dudes in there.
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
2:29 pm
@Luvbug – ive never seen her show, but she does sound rather abrasive on the commercials.
@Dreams – Tilted Kilt – oh, thats funny, lol….
i'm swiss™
September 20th, 2010
2:34 pm
Slim — Yeah, it was a little distracting… When I would thrust all the way up in there & the “hat” was sitting right on top of my pubes, it looked too much like Slash from Guns n’ Roses…
kimmie
September 20th, 2010
2:35 pm
I am – Find some home improvement project to pursue and take a trip or two to Lowes and Home Depot. Those places beat a bar or restaraunt any day of the week. I’ve met nice guys there that have homes and work well with their hands.
SlimNumeroUno
September 20th, 2010
2:37 pm
swiss
i'm swiss™
September 20th, 2010
2:40 pm
It's me....lurker
September 20th, 2010
2:43 pm
Tilted Kilt…yeah you’ll find dudes but you better out skimpy the waitresses for attention. Otherwise it’s a waste
DreamsMaterialize
September 20th, 2010
2:46 pm
Dreams- What circumstances??
luvbug a paraplegic midget chick with HIV. lol
SlimNumeroUno
September 20th, 2010
2:49 pm
i’m swiss, um…not like I really paid attention to Slash before, but most definitely whenever I see him now, I’m going to get a very WEIRD mental picture in my head. lol
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
2:53 pm
Dreams – LOL. That may not stop some guys from lusting. I was watching TLC a few years back. They were doing a doc on a women who had a few kids and a boyfriend. She only had her lady part and up…she walked with her hands. Seemed vibrant.
How was the 5k?
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:55 pm
Blue, nothing wrong at all with your trademark.
I just find in ingenius and wish I thought of that!
SlimNumeroUno
September 20th, 2010
2:55 pm
Dreams – I almost just may have to agree with you to a certain extent. A male friend I have that I often talk to about different things, recently told me we need to take a break from communication because he was starting to have inappropriate thoughts about me. We have never come close to anything outside of a platonic friendship…i’m glad he at least told me the deal. However, I don’t want it to be awkward going forward.
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:55 pm
Dear Blog Family,
Can we please pray for this child’s safe return?
http://www.ajc.com/news/cobb/search-continues-for-abducted-616333.html
I am whatever you say I am
September 20th, 2010
2:56 pm
Dreams Mat!
good lookin out!
i'm swiss™
September 20th, 2010
2:59 pm
Welcome to the jungle, Slim…
Simple Man!!!!
September 20th, 2010
3:02 pm
Whats the big deal with guys and girls being friends?? I have several just friends, one that happens to be “Fine as all Out doors” and we have a grat fiendship…. I think the key is to lay down the ground rule early and make sure you never end up doing date shyt like cooking dinner for just thetwo of you or sleeping in the same bed…. I make it a point to never do anything with with my female just friends that I don’t do with my male friends…
SlimNumeroUno
September 20th, 2010
3:05 pm
i’m swiss – well now I know I have somewhat of a funny bone and joke about sex related things here on the blog…however, that is not me 24/7. So I wonder if I exude some overly sexual vibe when folks meet me, or is the fact of my size automatically takes a dudes imagination to throwing me up in the air and catching me on his dizzle or what…there’s more to slim than a phatty catty
i'm swiss™
September 20th, 2010
3:06 pm
“…She only had her lady part and up…”
Now if only there was a woman w/ just her lady parts & down…
I kid, I kid…
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green II
September 20th, 2010
3:06 pm
…stepping in.
Ok, today is going by too fast.
kimmie
September 20th, 2010
3:07 pm
Simple – It’s no big deal until one of you gets a serious gf or bf and your new SO feels uncomfortable with yalls closeness. But yeah, if you keep your activities STRICTLY platonic it works out better.
Simple Man!!!!
September 20th, 2010
3:07 pm
Dirty D!!!! Whats good miss lady???
blue - ™
September 20th, 2010
3:10 pm
@Dreams – a paraplegic midget chick with HIV – wow
@I am –
@Simple Man – Im with you, it is possible, there just have to be rules set out. like most other relationships, there have to be boundaries…
Simple Man!!!!
September 20th, 2010
3:13 pm
Kimmie… I have had to deal with that one too…The friend that I spoke of earlier was dating this dude after about 5 or six months of dating , we were at 300 Atlant and he stepped to me and said he was the man in her life now and I needed to step off…After I stopped laughing, I told her about it and she cut him off…. I mean put and end to their thing on the spot. She did not have to do that and i appreciated her for it, but what it did was re-affirm to me just how tight we are and let me know that she valued our friendship as much as I do….
Dirty Diana ♠ Going Green II
September 20th, 2010
3:15 pm
What’s up Simple Man ? I am over here working today. The funny thing is I must chill a lot, because on the days I am working hard like today I feel like I am on a plantation.
…I am trying to catch up so I can jump in on the discussion. Are you teaching the blog group how to be friends with the opposite sex???
I have male friends, but lately they have been catching feelings, and thinking we look good together. That gets on my doggone nerves.
Luvbug
September 20th, 2010
3:18 pm
swiss- Well, that’s not completely true. I think she may have had a tiny bit of thighs and up.