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Girlfriend Withdrawal

Getting your single life back on track when you have been in a relationship with someone for a very long time can be tough.  There is a period of time when you just want somebody, anybody around to fill the void the person left behind.

It’s probably best to stay single but a lot of times, that is when people start new relationships.  Dating someone on the rebound from a relationship is risky dating business.  You have to go into it with eyes wide open.  It is highly likely the person will going through “withdrawal” and showing signs of relapse with their ex.

Ladies, how can you tell someone is going through girlfriend withdrawal?  Do you think you recognize when they are hung up on their ex and emotionally unavailable to start something new with you?

Guys have you ever started a new relationship soon after ending another one?  Have you ever experienced girlfriend withdrawal before?  Do you think women should back off the guys who have signs of “girlfriend withdrawal?

What are the signs that a woman is going through boyfriend withdrawal?

You have heard that old saying, “The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else” before, right?  Is that actually a good idea or a recipe for disaster? Has that approach ever worked for you!?

384 comments Add your comment

Simple Man!!!!

September 7th, 2010
8:39 am

Morning All!!!

Got in the office and read Fridays master piece and had to go outside and catch my breath!!!!

On topic… if you are looking for something long term, you should make sure you are clear before moving on, but My dad told us time and time again to get on to get over and if nothing else , it willl get the “smell of the old person out of your nose” and that is always a good thing….

Worth the Trouble?

September 7th, 2010
8:54 am

Two observations from dating a girl on the rebound:

1) The sex is great for a month
2) Then, she suddenly treats YOU exactly like the ex-bf.

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
8:58 am

GM all,

seems the ladies had a good time on friday, lol, whered all the guys go?

gf withdrawal? interesting term, i guess one of the best signs is when you see pics of the ex and you look just like her….or U r the ex, you see him with new chick and she looks just like U….

Traci

September 7th, 2010
8:59 am

I believe in a morning period from the last relationship. At least 60 days. If you gives you a chance to vent,cry,denie,disgust,discover,develop – all “actions” so that you can move on. There is nothing worse than meeting someone who is still “in love” with the last relationship.
Notice I said – “In love with the relationship” – not the person. They are still in love with the habits, the smells, the restaurants, the experiences, the fears, the arguments, the routinse from the last relationship;. Good and Bad.
People need time to let this “baggage ” go.
You can’t come to a new healthy relationship with a plane load full of luggage!

I am whatever you say I am

September 7th, 2010
9:00 am

the clue that he is on the rebound is when he either talks about the ex all the time while trying to have a relationship with you.

Or talks about how he got out of a relationship and doesn’t want anything serious right now.

You’d be suprised how open and honest most guys are about the latter

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
9:05 am

Roll call…please let us know if you’re Present (even if you’re lurking).

I is here…Good morning!

@SimpleMan ~ sounds like you needed a smoke!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I believe most know this about me…I don’t believe in getting under some to forget another. Clean your own house (heart and soul) before subjecting whatever baggage you’re carrying onto another. I definitely agree with Worth the Trouble that the sex is probably good for a brief spell, then the mentally of “all men are not to be trusted” will probably rear it’s ugly head.

Trevor0529

September 7th, 2010
9:11 am

Good Morning everyone! Hope everybody had a nice, relaxing holiday weekend. I will check in throughout the day.
:)

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
9:14 am

Hi I am…how’s it going?

@blue ~ I definitely feeling your moniker this morning.

Just look in his eyes, if you can still see the pain there, don’t even think about getting into a serious relationship just yet with him.

I am whatever you say I am

September 7th, 2010
9:23 am

Hey Leggs!
I had a greeeeeeeeat (saying in my tony the tiger voice) weekend

Kym

September 7th, 2010
9:24 am

Good Morning All,

I am here.

Been here got this t-shirt. I agree while it’s great to get the carnal urges satisfied..if you have been truly hurt..then like with any wound you must give it time to heal. Nothing heals a broken heart like time and speaking as one who has unleashed the fury that is a scorned woman on some new unsuspecting soul it is not fair to the new person to have to deal with your own personal hell. Better to be alone licking your wounds, than potentially causing new wounds on someone else.

SlimNumeroUno

September 7th, 2010
9:32 am

Good morning everyone,

Been sick for the last week and really didn’t feel like coming to work today either…but been off for the last 5 days….Guess I need to go back and read Friday’s blog from all the mentions of it this morning.

How was everyone’s holday weekend?

On-topic – I’m not sure I could tell if someone was going through gf withdrawal unless they kept talking about her or something…or mentioned they just broke up within the last 30 days. After a break-up, i think folks sort of look for an ego boost and tend to use the next victim to fill that void….let’s face it, a break-up isn’t easy, fun or a walk in the park. Heartbreak never breaks even ;-)

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
9:37 am

@SlimNU ~ glad you’re somewhat feeling better.

@blue ~ give SlimNu a pair of your grumpy bear jammies.

i'm swiss™

September 7th, 2010
9:42 am

Morning, everyone & a big GO DAWGS! to kimmie, if you’re out there.

“You have heard that old saying, ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else’ before, right?”

To borrow from MR. LURKER, “YEAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“Is that actually a good idea or a recipe for disaster?”

YEAAAAAAAAH! OKAAAAAAAY!

“Has that approach ever worked for you!?”

WHAAAAT?!?

“Has that approach ever worked for you!?”

WHAAAAT?!?

“Has that approach ever worked for you!?”

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Oh, brother

September 7th, 2010
9:43 am

I can’t really speak for anyone but myself. After a bad break-up with someone I truly cared about, I have dated soon after but always find myself truly annoyed with the new guy for the mere reason that they are not the old guy (who I didn’t want anyway!). Insane? Yes. True? Yep! So, for me, a period of doing my own thing is what I’ve done. Maybe one day I won’t have to do that anymore because I’ll meet someone who I don’t want to break up with! :)

SlimNumeroUno

September 7th, 2010
9:44 am

i’m swiss – my face hurts when I smile but that was well worth it….WHAAATTT?! lmao :lol:

@Leggs – thanks for looking out….I hope it’s the footed jammies ;-)

Run4life

September 7th, 2010
9:44 am

Hey, I am here.

When a guy mentions that he has just ended a relationship, I am always cautious. Afraid that I may hurt him again or he hurts me. Never like being the rebound girl.

CoolShadow

September 7th, 2010
9:47 am

Guys have you ever started a new relationship soon after ending another one? Have you ever experienced girlfriend withdrawal before? Do you think women should back off the guys who have signs of “girlfriend withdrawal?

I usually let myself “air out” from the previous relationship, because I don’t want to bring baggage from the previous relationship into a new one, in addition to appreciating the solo time the situation presents. Conversely, I have a friend that dates serially, albeit long-term and he segues from chick to chick with no breaks. It just depends on the person how they handle withdrawals.

What are the signs that a woman is going through boyfriend withdrawal?

You basically summed it up in the third paragraph of your topic.

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
9:48 am

@Slim – tend to use the next victim to fill that void – victim, ouch…but that is how it feels. i think most folks tend to move on too soon simply to squash that feeling of loneliness, or if they arent the one who called the breakup, squash that feeling that maybe their was something about them that made the thing crash and burn. then the “victim” is left picking up those pieces that really, you yourself should be pickng up. pick yourself, dust yourself off, b4 heading back out into the field. and the comparisons between the new and the ex, be it coming from the male or female side of the relationship…unacceptable.
@Leggs – would so rather be home right now…the long weekend is always like that, feel like the kids, always want more time off than i had, lol
@Leggs@Slim – PJ’s ÷ , i got grumpy bears and winnie-the-pooh bears, which one you want?

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
9:48 am

ok, that was supposed to be a √ , i put the wrong one….

SexyCool

September 7th, 2010
9:50 am

SexyCool

September 7th, 2010
9:51 am

Most often the issue that I would encounter would be less gf withdrawal and more gf overlap and/or gf juggling.

SlimNumeroUno

September 7th, 2010
9:52 am

blue – even though I could use another day in bed, i’m not feeling too grumpy so I’ll take Winne-the-Pooh for $10 Alex. lol Does that come with a sidecar of honey too? :-)

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
9:53 am

Good morning beautiful blog people!

Fresh from the cruise, all sun-kissed, tired but happy! Don’t know what to do with myself right now since I’m blogging from SO’s house and not sitting by a pool with a drink, wearing a bikini!

On topic – I’ve been the rebounder and the reboundee and neither position is one I want to ever play again. I made it a practice to almost never bring up past relationships, so my body language and general attitude say what my mouth won’t in such a situation. Therefore, it’s best I stay off the market until I get myself together. Usually I just hang out with friends & family, kind of “cocoon” with my inner circle. I don’t club anyway, but when I did that was the last place I wanted to be. It didn’t bother me to see other happy couples either – that was what I was striving for so they only confirmed that what I was going thru was best – getting out of something bad until something good came along.

Oh, and there is absolutely NOTHING worst than a dude that is still hung up on another woman! I mean nothing! I would rather have a root canal than ever deal with a situation like that EVER again!

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
9:55 am

Swiss – GO DAWGS & GO GSU PANTHERS!!! Hell yeah!!!!! :)

Doug

September 7th, 2010
9:57 am

Can you people read and write?

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
9:58 am

@CoolShadow ~ “air out” Exactly. I immediately thought of the heavy rotation of Hollywood stars and wonder why they don’t “air out” themselves.

@Run4Life ~ thanks (LOL).

Simple Man!!!!

September 7th, 2010
9:58 am

Hey kimmie….Glad you Njoyed your Cruise!!!! :)

Let me ask you a question….But on some level don’t you think everyone is still hung up on somebody??? At least a litle……..

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:01 am

@kimmie ~ did you keep your drink glass for discounted refills (are they still doing that)?

I’m not even into football, but I was proud of my Alma Mater GSU Panthers!

JUCEE

September 7th, 2010
10:01 am

Good morning & do have a great day everyone ;)

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
10:04 am

But on some level don’t you think everyone is still hung up on somebody??? At least a litle

Simple – I KNEW somebody was going to go there! Unless you are with the first person you’ve ever truly loved, probably. But that is SO not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about hung up to the point that it affects anybody you get involved with afterwards in a negetive way. You should never give someone that type of power over your life.

SlimNumeroUno

September 7th, 2010
10:04 am

@Leggs – well in a sense the stars of Hollywood do “air out”…hence them being caught by the paparazzi with no drawlz on…gotta let that that catch some fresh air. lol I know, I know…cheap laugh but i’m working at 68% right now. Shoot me. lmao ;-)

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
10:06 am

@Slim – Poohs it is, good choice cause the Poohs are the footies!! sorry, no honey….
@kimmie – Hi!!! how was the cruise?
@Leggs@Cool – air out, good term. has me thinking of mothballs, but still works…cause really you need to air out the smell of so-and-so b4 you can really smell anything else….like those women who attack you with the perfume samples in hte mall, cant smell em all at once, need to let em air some….
@Leggs – oh, i think i was supposed to say: I am here!!
@Simple – everyone is still hung up on somebody? i say true…in most cases anyway…

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
10:11 am

Leggs – They were’nt doing that on this cruise. Man, they nickel & dimed us to death, but we had our eyes wide open.

And to be honest, ALL that jewelry they were selling on the ship and in Nassau looked fake to me! Maybe I was just overly cautious, but I know good stuff when I see it and I didn’t see any. We went by one jewelry store that had this suppossed 10 carat diamond in the window, along with this big 5 carat “blue” diamond. SO’s little girl had her camera and snapped a picture – this guy came running out saying “no pictures” like it was the Hope diamond or something! All that mess looked like it came out of a bubblegum machine!!

I just got little cheap souviniers like refrig magnets and mugs and little glass bead necklaces, nothing major.

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:11 am

@SlimNU ~ you on it, strange that I didn’t think of “airing out” in that context. I rested solely on giving those “lips” some rest before passing onto another.

@blue ~ I marked you present though you were silent in acknowleding your presence!

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:15 am

@kimmie ~ that was funny. Running out protecting the blue hope diamond. He probably thought she’ll sell the pic to Star Magazine! Glad you were overly cautious, cuz I don’t like to buy jewelry that comes on a string, band or whatever that roller thingy is called and they cut it to the inches you want! I got one of my best refrigerator magnets from a cruise: “Life Without Pizza Is No Life At All”

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
10:16 am

blue – The cruise was fantastic! We all had a blast, especially the kids! It’s so wonderful to be able to expose them to travel. A coworker and a law school buddy of my SO came and brought their families as well. The ATL was well represented on that cruise – saw several from GA.

Oh, and guess who won the Name That Michael Jackson Tune trivia contest?!! :lol:

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:17 am

CoolShadow

September 7th, 2010
10:17 am

@Blue – I think that if you don’t “air out”, you still have the specter of the previous boyfriend/girlfriend and trying to get to know someone gets difficult because that person will get judged and critiqued on someone else’s mannerisms and standards rather than you being allowed to exhibit your own.

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:19 am

Male or female: THE REMOTE CONTROL?

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
10:31 am

@Leggs – oops, lol…i got sidetracked with this coworker of mine with a cough from he!!, needs to GO HOME…..anyway….
@kimmie – Great!! i havent got my nerve up for a cruise yet, i cant swim and i saw Titanic, dont know how im gonna deal with all that water…
@Cool – exactly, everything wil be judged on how the relate to the ex not how they relate to you, and it just isnt fair to either of you…altho will admit can lead to some gooood….

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
10:38 am

The highlight of the cruise was Mr. Dreamsicle(as my SO put it) or Mr. Peanut(like I put it):

Me & SO were in the ship casino after dinner one night. I was sitting at a slot machine and SO got up to cash out. The minute he walked away, this dude about mid-50’s/early 60’s makes a beeline over to me. He’s tall and wearing this PEACH colored pimp suit, with the jacket that goes down to the knees, a bowler on his head and PEACH gators!LOL!! He comes up all smooth and says “Are ya winnin’ baby?” I was trying hard not to crack up! My SO sees what’s going on and comes over to rescue me and puts his arm around me. Dreamsicle gets uncomfortable and moves on!

We saw him later with a group of people and with a woman that appeared might have been his wife(he did have a ring on). But the next day I was at the pool with the kids and SO was getting a massage. He came and stood awhile by my chair & I put my magazine up to my face! He was chasing after this other young lady though, she was beautiful in a white bikini and white sarong skirt. You could see him laying his rap on her and she humored him awhile before going on her way. Oh and this time he had on a CREAM ensemble – cream slacks, a cream leisure shirt, a cream fedora with a feather in it – and CREAM gators!LOL!! I thought about that day we talked about fashion on the blog!

One of the other couples that came with us said they saw him in his peach suit too! They knew exactly who we were talking about. I told one of the ladies that was another reason I was glad I met SO – cause usually Dreamsicle is what usually approaches me. I see I haven’t lost my touch! :lol:

I called him Mr. Peanut cause he reminded me of that Planters Peanut man!LOL!!

Simple Man!!!!

September 7th, 2010
10:40 am

blue…I fell you on your 10:31….Those type of relationships almost never work, but the sex is most times Off the charts!!!! Now I fully understand that sex complicates things in the worst way but if you are gonna go thru those tough times, It has always been OK for me to appease my by while I heal my heart….

Mike P

September 7th, 2010
10:42 am

Simple Man!!!!

September 7th, 2010
10:43 am

Appease my body While I heal my heart…

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:45 am

Why do other men wear those zoot looking suits and long box jackets like Steve Harvey. Is it to hide a big bubble behind and hips????

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:47 am

Thanks, MikeP

Thank you so much, SimpleMan cuz I had to read that 2x and immediately thought of Doug’s 9:57. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

September 7th, 2010
10:48 am

Not other men, meant to say “older men” Whew, Doug, you might have a point there (LOL).

@blue ~ loving the name Mr. Dreamsickle. Nice wannabe pimp name!

kimmie-taking a day off

September 7th, 2010
10:49 am

Leggs – I don’t know, maybe they are trying to camoflage! Several said it’s a Detroit thing too.

SlimNumeroUno

September 7th, 2010
10:49 am

@Leggs I have no idea why they wear those suits. To me, it makes them look shorter & heavier than they probably are. I know the Skittles mantra is “Taste the Rainbow” but some colors are better left for eatin and less for wearing. lol

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 7th, 2010
10:50 am

@kimmie – lmao, i saw a dude like that in the train station a couple weeks ago. his outfit was mint green with a peach tie (wide tie too) peach pocket square and peach shoes….took all i had not to burst out laughing…and then he tipped his hat me while walking by!!
@Simple Man – lol, yeah there is that…may as well get something out of it right? thats bad…im going to he!!…lmao