accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Relationship drama. Can you handle the rain?

I didn’t get to see New Edition perform when they were in town so I have had this song stuck in my head! Any love song that makes you think about your old flames is a classic in my book.

Whenever I hear this song, I think about a certain someone from years ago who taught me alot about relationships, “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” One of the things I learned is that I really, really, really, dislike relationship drama. It’s exhausting!

A reader sent me a recent NY Times article about another study that surprised me. Researchers at Florida State University surveyed 1,611 men and women age 18 to 23 in the Miami area, and they “found that thorny relationships take a far greater toll on men.”

When you are experiencing drama in your dating relationships, does it take a toll on you?

Of course, men and women express emotion very differently. A lot of times, people don’t realize that the source of their stress is actually stemming from relationship drama.

I’m not one to endure a bad situation for too long. Why do you think people stay in situations when it is clear things are not going to work out?

When should you stay “through the rain” and the hard times? Is a bad relationship better than no relationship?

Have a wonderful and safe Labor Day weekend everyone!

250 comments Add your comment

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
10:26 am

Good day, I am finally first!

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
10:28 am

“When should you stay “through the rain” and the hard times? When it truly looks like both of you are on the same page. If you’re weathering the storm by yourself, time to get out of that dingy and into a bigger, more studier boat.

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
10:29 am

:lol: :lol: I’m first and second, now taking third!

i'm swiss™

September 3rd, 2010
10:33 am

See now, all this “rain” talk has now put another song in my head:

“I saw you (and him, and him)
walking in the raaaaaaiiiiiin….”

:lol:

Morning, everybody…

On topic: Okay, there’s a difference between bad times & a bad relationship. Everyone and every relationship, no matter how solid, is going to encounter challenges. That should be expected, so of course you should stay through the “hard times” so long as you are with a good person. But “hard times” != bad relationship. A bad relationship implies either a poor match, or just a sorry partner, all around.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 3rd, 2010
10:33 am

So we are no longer bootleg blogging!! :smile:

And I love NE!

Simple Man!!!!

September 3rd, 2010
10:35 am

There is a difference between weathering a storm and dealing with relationship drama!!! Two solid well adjusted people can work thru a tough time but when the drama is never ending,yeah its time to catch out and find someone new…

DreamsMaterialize

September 3rd, 2010
10:41 am

Morning
I can’t stand drama, so I’m quick to cut ties. That goes for family, friends, and chicks I’m dating. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll stand by you if you’re going through tough times, but if there’s just always some unnecessary foolishness, then you can stand by yourself on that.

Mo how you doing?

Kym-Bleeding Blue and White/Black and Gold

September 3rd, 2010
10:43 am

I am going to need some Epson Salts for my tushy..Dang Wisey you just slammed the door on the bootlegg blog..didn’t even give a warning!

On Topic..no relationship is worth my sanity..I have security issues and while I can stand the rain..heck I can deal with monsoon season..but I am not staying anywhere to be abused and mistreated. Shoot I can do bad all by my dang self..

I think those who stay do so out of loyalty or fear of being alone. No one else is going to love me like him..even if the him in question is making them feel like crap daily. A wise woman told me once. “No one can love you better than you love yourself.

YESSHEISCUTE

September 3rd, 2010
10:52 am

A tranquil relationship is better than none. But I prefer solitude than drama any day!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 3rd, 2010
10:52 am

Dreams – Im doing alright, getting back into the swing of working! How have you been?

Kym – I had to repost this b/c its sooo true
“On Topic..no relationship is worth my sanity”

i'm swiss™

September 3rd, 2010
10:55 am

“I am going to need some Epson Salts for my tushy..”

Um, Kym… Is there a story you’d like to share? :lol:

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 3rd, 2010
10:55 am

GM all,

kicked all us bootleggers out ehh? lol, no warning even, its like the kids caught in the basement with the liquor cabinet open, lights come on and everybody scatters like mice….

anyway, as has been said, weathering a rough patch is different than riding a bad relationship. everybody has a rough times, and if you bail at the slightest hint of trouble, i personally would find that a character flaw…but when its SSDD, same shyt different day, 24/7 time to reevaluate some things….

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
11:03 am

Exactly blue ~ just kicked us all out. Feel like I’ve been slapped on the back of my hand!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 3rd, 2010
11:05 am

Yeah I feel like the party just ended abruptly! No “last call” or anything, just lights on, time to go! lol

Melo

September 3rd, 2010
11:05 am

Morning folks!

White Man

September 3rd, 2010
11:07 am

Raqi

September 3rd, 2010
11:10 am

Is a bad relationship better than no relationship?

Heck naw. Having peace of mind is PRICELESS.

Kym-Bleeding Blue and White/Black and Gold

September 3rd, 2010
11:13 am

@Swiss cheese..no Mr. Pervy Perv.I was saying Wisey hit us with the blog door on the other blog..

Cynthia Glendale

September 3rd, 2010
11:16 am

Well – as Dr. Phil always says – the ony thing worse than being in a bad relationship is being in it for one more day ! I say – listen to what your “gut” is telling you – it will never fail you.

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
11:17 am

@Mo ~ shouting with the bullhorn, you don’t have to go home but you gotta leave from here! Skiddaddle….

Trevor0529

September 3rd, 2010
11:24 am

Good Morning everyone,

Off Topic: For those working in an office today, is it starting to look like a barren wasteland with fellow co-workers checking out for the weekend now? I have seen two people already leave for the day and traffic was very smooth today.
:)

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:30 am

is it starting to look like a barren wasteland with fellow co-workers checking out for the weekend now?

It surely is Trevor….I’m thinking by noon we’re gonna see tumble weed in the hallways…..

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:32 am

I saw you (and him, and him)
walking in the raaaaaaiiiiiin….”

Whatchu know ’bout that….Swissie?! :lol:

Kym-Bleeding Blue and White/Black and Gold

September 3rd, 2010
11:32 am

@Trevor..yes it is quite distrubing..cause I should be one of those who took the day off.

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
11:32 am

Hola!

The answer to this topic is simple see Cynthia’s 11:16.

Hey Swiss, Melo, and DreamsM! Where is simple man? Blue what’s good, and where is Fred?

DreamsMaterialize

September 3rd, 2010
11:35 am

Mo things are good, very good. Looking forward to the weekend.

“No one can love you better than you love yourself.
That is if they actually do love themselves. Otherwise, I think it is possible to love someone more than they love themselves.

Leggs

September 3rd, 2010
11:36 am

@Trevor0529 ~ everybody is leaving around…unfortunately, the wrong person is still here, my boss!

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
11:36 am

@Trevor I am going to try to get out of here early today, but I am not sure. I have been out most of the week so I am playing catch up!

@Sassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy what’s going on?

Simple Man!!!!

September 3rd, 2010
11:37 am

Whats good Sassy???

Simple Man!!!!

September 3rd, 2010
11:37 am

Since you guys are going on and on about leaving early, and since I am the boss…

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
11:39 am

Now I, I think I’m gonna cry
And I, I don’t want you to see me cry

I wanna go outside in the rain
It may sound crazy
But I wanna go outside in the rain

Once the rain starts fallin’
On my face (on my face)
You won’t see (you won’t see, ah)
A single trace (a single trace)

Something about this song…

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:41 am

Dianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s on an poppin over hurr chica!!!!!!!

Heey Simple Man how you doin?

Yeah I’ve got about 20 minutes and I’m sooo pulling a Houdini in this camp….poof :)

Simple Man!!!!

September 3rd, 2010
11:43 am

Dirty D!!!! Sing, Miss lady!!! Sing!!! :D :D

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:44 am

Diana gurl there’s something about that whole album…..I think Make it last Forever has several songs that take us back down memory lane…oohhhh :oops:

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 3rd, 2010
11:49 am

@Trevor – i got here at 8 today, there was 1 other person here, i just wanted to go back to sleep…glad i get out early on fridays anyway
@DD – hey Diana!!! Fred, see heres what had happened with Fred…my anniversary was this week, so he wanted to get me flowers, so he gets a nice bouquet of Daisys, except apparently they were very tempting…so he eats them…and thats how we find out that Daisys dont sit well with Fred. so he’s looking a little green today, but better than yesterday….on the mend as we say…

are we really singing back in the day songs today….they had one of those things on VH1 yesterday with those old like one hit wonders, had the one “i always feel like, somebodys watching meeeee” got it stuck in my head now….

i'm swiss™

September 3rd, 2010
11:51 am

Sassy — You know I’ve still got that Oran Juice Jones cassette — yes, I said cassette — tucked away in my dad’s basement somewhere… “This is my world. You just a squirrel tryna get a nut!” :lol:

Wassup, Dirty D?

alibel

September 3rd, 2010
11:52 am

There is a big difference between “hard times” and “drama”.

My fiance and i have arguments from time to time but they’re never knock-down drag-out types and they don’t last long. We are quick to look at what each of our part was in it (everyone always has a part in an argument) and to make amends, if necessary, and move on. It’s important to not take things personally and speak to communicate (not to just be “right”), don’t engage when angry/hungry/lonely/tired and THINK (is it: Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, Kind) before saying something. If you have both people in the relationship that work on these things the results are amazing. It’s unlike anything i’ve ever experienced! Perfection? We’re human, so no. But we commit every single day to making the effort, and that has made all the difference (and NO DRAMA!).

As for staying in a bad relationship just to be in a relationship? Sounds like that kind of person would need a lot of self-work! To quote Aimee Mann: “Two, can be as bad as one. It’s the loneliest number since the number one…”

i’d rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 3rd, 2010
11:53 am

Well Im here all day, but its cool! Heading to get dolled up for the weekend after work!

So who’s manning the Blog Bar cause I needs one, its noon (basically)

i'm swiss™

September 3rd, 2010
11:55 am

alibel — Aimee Mann fan, eh? Although, not to show my age or anything, that’s actually Aimee Mann quoting Three Dog Night… ;-)

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:55 am

I’m out blog familia…have a safe and very blessed holiday weekend!!!

Sassy Me...I'm All In :-)

September 3rd, 2010
11:57 am

Woow Swiss….the cassette?!

Okay now I’m out…peace :)

NE Heartbreak

September 3rd, 2010
11:57 am

So, just a small point of order. I think the title is “Can you Stand the rain”? The alternative to thandle meaning having the wherewithall to endure in the most trying of situations. I only note the difference (besides being particularly peculiar) is because the ability to handle something is less complex than standing through it. Elin Woods handled it. Cookie Johnson stands it.

Truth is we all get wet from time to time, but you have to decide if the storm is the norm.

If so walk away. If not endure and do what the trees and flowers do after a good rain—grow and blossom.

Signed,

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike (sometimes Johnny)

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
12:04 pm

@Sasssssssssssy, yep I wish I could disappear, but I have a few things to do. Not to mention I am waiting on some f/u phone calls…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

@Simple Man…LOL let me hit a high note right quick.

@NE Heartbreak good post

@Swiss you and those tapes…as a gag gift I gave my brother a few tapes one year for Christmas he thought it was funny, especially since he did not have anything to play them on.

i'm swiss™

September 3rd, 2010
12:07 pm

Dirty D — Yeah, I don’t have a cassette player anymore, either… but I do have a whole bunch of old cassettes from back in my middle school days still boxed up in the basement somewhere… not really sure why I haven’t thrown them out…

Simple Man!!!!

September 3rd, 2010
12:13 pm

NE Heartbreak…What happened to to Ralph??? You guys go thru more lineup changes than the Temptations!!!

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
12:15 pm

@Swiss it is always fun looking at stuff like that…I have a cassette player still at home. The funny thing is I was probably one of the last folks to convert to CD’s. I remember reading an article around 1994 or maybe earlier that CD’s were cheaper to make than cassettes, but CD’s cost more back then.

Dirty Diana ♠ It's a family affair!

September 3rd, 2010
12:16 pm

@Simp Man that was Ralph’s line in the song, I believe the song was “Cool It Now.”

blue - would rather be wearing my grumpy bear jammies...

September 3rd, 2010
12:22 pm

got another house to look at this afternoon, and its blue! now if only it has a hot tub, we’d really have a winner….

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 3rd, 2010
12:26 pm

Boy this Pandora is keping a chick going right now! LOL!

Purple Rain

September 3rd, 2010
12:27 pm

Mr telephone man, there’s something wrong with my line. When I dial my baby’s number I get a click everytime.

LOL

Puddy is man’s quickest downfall, don’t put it on a pedestal and then you will avoid the drama that comes with it. But some deserves to be on a pedestal. But…..

Girl I must warn you
I sense something strange in my mind
Yeah yo situation is serious
Let’s cure it ’cause we’re running out of time
Mm mm tell ‘em Rick it’s all so beautiful
Relationships they seem from the start
Yeah mm mm it’s all so deadly
When love is not together from the heart
Mm mm check it out

It’s driving me out of my mind
That’s why it’s hard for me to find
Can’t get it outta my head
Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you’re dead

That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and smile