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Office romance really a bad idea?

I have met at least 3 couples who say that they met at work.  What gives!?  I know that dating co-workers has the potential for all sorts of drama, but does that mean office romance is really a bad idea?

I believe that there are some people who can actually pull it off.  Most of us don’t go into the office planning to fall head over heels in love.   It can happen in a totally organic way and before you know it, you can’t stop thinking of the person.  So what is the best way to handle it?

Would you consider getting involved with a co-worker?  Have you tried it before? Do you have any advice for someone who was embarking on a new romance with someone at work?

What concerns would you have about office romance?  I mean, honestly, what is the worst that could happen!

227 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

September 2nd, 2010
9:16 am

There are/should be no rules as to when and where you can meet your mate… All those rules just reduce your opportunities to make a connection, all because you are afraid it won’t work because of where you met… obviously if you are both there you have something in common.

http://hispointofview.com

AmazonRed™

September 2nd, 2010
9:25 am

My parents met at a business conference. My dad hired my mom a few months later. They had a secret office romance. They celebrated 33 years of marriage in April.

If you can do it right, do it.

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
9:35 am

Good Morning all!!!

While I am sure that there are a ton of wonderful stories like ARed’s (morning dear) Just this year I have lost several really good staffers because of their inability to mantain the seperation needed to funtion in a high pressure work environment when the person you are dating also happens to share an office. Everything from their insecurities to baby momma drama…Work place dating complcates shyt for the entire office and that is a deal breaker for the person in charge….

Jason

September 2nd, 2010
9:43 am

I was a young executive at a growing firm, she was a recent college grad that was hired as an entry-level associate in August of 2006. Becaue of our org structure she and I did not interact much other than to pass one another in the hallway. On a chance occurance, her birthday arrived in late September and I was the only executive in-town that day that had authority to spend company money on a common practice we extended to all employees, a birthday lunch. I went around asking other employees if they would like to join us and due to the short notice and travel plans no one was able to join us. At lunch, sparks flew. By November we were casually dating. I approached the owners of the company to inform them I would be bringing her as my date to the company Christmas party. Expecting a negative reaction the owners were pretty neutral on the surprise news which was positive. They indicated she would obviously not be allowed to work for my team as she moved up the ranks. Yadda-yadda-yadda, last week we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary.

Advice from this experience is 1) the office environment is a place for conducting business, therefore we agreed our interaction inside the building would be strictly professional and leaving relationship events (both positive and negative) outside the office, and 2)do not allow your partner’s (or your own) relationships with other employees to be affected by positive and negative dynamics that ebb and flow commonly in office environments and 3) pray that you both are able to communicate your way openly through these adjustments because it is weird and uncomfortable to an extent.

M. (pronouced M dot)

September 2nd, 2010
9:55 am

Office relationships are a no no. I have never dated anyone while in my career and I dont plan to. Lets look at the reasons:

1. You should not dip your pen in the company inc.
2. If things get serious and you marry, you should not have 2 incomes coming from the same employer.
3. If it goes bad, you will not want to see that person every day guranteed.
4. You dont want to jeopardize your finances.

I work with a woman who is WAY past her prime but was dating a guy from work. Things went bad (this is her side of the story) and they ended up going back and forth via personal email. Well, she saved all the emails and filed a complaint with the APD. In Atlanta, it is a crime to threaten someone electronically (via email). She got the APD involved which got our HR involved and the guy ended up losing a really good job in 2008 right when the recession kicked off. Was this female worth it? Absolutley NOT!

Plus Atlanta is a singles town so you can easily just find someone else.

Thats my motivation to never date a woman from work.

AmazonRed™

September 2nd, 2010
9:56 am

Yay @ Jason! Congrats to you and your bride.

In my industry, office romances are COMMON. For the most part they have been drama free. One thing I noticed is that many couples do alert HR at some point. I think that helps cut down on a lot of headaches and it lets folks know you are serious…both about your job and your romance.

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
9:57 am

GM all,

office romance: never had one, also have never seen it turn out well. while ARed and Jasons stories sound great, i think their the exception. most office romances i have seen have led to tension in the work place, expecially if one of them is in a superior position, all around assume the one lower on the totem is getting preferential treatment because of their bedroom skills.

Purple Rain

September 2nd, 2010
10:04 am

Love is where you find it, if it is in the workplace you have to be mature enough to handle it. Also make sure it’s not just a casual fling, but true honest love can and will happen anywhere. When real love calls you can not deny it no matter the situation nor environment.

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
10:07 am

Morning blue….What happend on the other house??? :(

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
10:09 am

Purple Rain @ 10:04

You post sounds like a verse from a Kem song!!! LOL

Purple Rain

September 2nd, 2010
10:09 am

blue, if you want to move out of the metro area you can buy our house or rent it, but I am in Dawsonville.

Purple Rain

September 2nd, 2010
10:11 am

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2010
10:11 am

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
10:22 am

Yeah Purple…. Google Kem…Great artist!! I think the song is named “Whe love calls” or something like that…

kimmie

September 2nd, 2010
10:29 am

Sup folks!

Office romances can work, it just depends on the circumstances. One of my employees met her husband here. They worked in different departments, on different floors. They were set up by a coworker who thought they’d like each other! He was divorced and had 2 young daughters. They now have a son and a daughter together! They ride to work together and he comes down here every now & then and chats or goes to lunch with us.

I’m sure it would be uncomfortable if things had not worked out, no matter how mature the people involved. But I think as long as you are not in too close proximity to the other and there is no conflict of interest, it can work.

My company is so big, you are bound to run into someone that probably works for it, even if they are not in the same building. Another of my coworkers is married to a guy that works for us, but he works from home.

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
10:30 am

@Simple – Hi there. really liked that house, but the game of phone tag my landlord and the agent were playing let a stronger app slip in, agent says looks like its a done deal….sigh…
@PR – lol, you want out of your house? thought you liked it..

DC Rose

September 2nd, 2010
10:38 am

Good morning all

I am not a fan of office romance and neither are HR depts. They are fine when everything works out, but when things go bad, it impacts too many people and productivity. Ask the COO in Dekalb.

TraBue has not filed any complaints against Barker, but said she wants the county to know about his actions.

Elaine Sterling

September 2nd, 2010
10:38 am

I feel that it’s not the right thing for the office. Sometimes it give the other person the upper hand. I have seem this done at my company. (IBM)…very good.

Elaine Sterling

September 2nd, 2010
10:40 am

Very bad thing… when this happens

AmazonRed™

September 2nd, 2010
10:40 am

Yeah Purple…. Google Kem…Great artist!! I think the song is named “Whe love calls” or something like that…

Kem performing tonight at BUDWIESER SUPERFEST! Should be perfect weather for a concert at Chastain!

Purple Rain

September 2nd, 2010
10:40 am

blue, we are moving back home before the holidays

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
10:44 am

@PR – ahh, ok. now how big did you say your house was? lol

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
10:50 am

OMG, WD, you must have been at the other table at lunch yesterday. I went to lunch with a co-worker. We’ve been to lunch many times before. He always compliments me on my attire and keeps it moving. Has never been disrespectful in any way. Well, on our ride back to the office he offers his number and states he would love to watch a movie and share a glass of wine with me. I realize he’s going through a divorce right now and is deeply pained, but I could never go there with a co-worker on the rebound.

I agree, office romances can work when two mature individuals are involved.

@blue ~ awww, so sorry. Stay strong. It will happen.

@PR ~ my Italian Studmuffin is leaving. {{eyes misting}}. Nothing like being back “home” with family and loved ones.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
10:51 am

Ooops, GOOD MORNING Everyone!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
10:54 am

I had an office romance in my mid 20’s. As a result, every time “Silly of Me” comes on by Denice Williams, I turn the channel. Bet most of us have a song that comes on that we immediately turn off because of the memories! I was a foolish little twit then!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
10:55 am

The song is playing now, that’s why I mentioned the above. :lol:

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:10 am

WOW, GSU is finally getting a football team…when I attended, they had a very sorry, basketball team. Let’s hope football team will be better.

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
11:13 am

Note to self….Do not apply at the same company as Leggs…No need to be cut before the game begins….PS Remove all Denise Williams from the IPOD!!

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
11:13 am

i heard that earlier Leggs, about the new team. i thought all colleges had a football team? howd it happen that they didnt have one all these years?

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:15 am

@blue ~ heck they couldn’t get basketball off the ground, why invest in football (LOL).

@SimpleMan ~ now, that’s an excellent note to self (LOLOLOLOL).

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
11:17 am

@Leggs – lol, yeah, see your point…well supposedly the coach they hired is legendary so who knows…

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
11:22 am

alright, off topic i know, but question for the ladies and gents: how badly can u torture your SO when they ignore your anniversary?

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:29 am

@blue ~ You have carte blance to do whatever you want to do!

Just listened to Cee Lo’s new song. I like it. Heck, I like him!

kimmie

September 2nd, 2010
11:31 am

blue – When is/was it? If it’s today and he just hasn’t said anything, maybe he wants to surprise you?

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:32 am

I wouldn’t buy the song, but I get its message.

kimmie

September 2nd, 2010
11:33 am

TI

Tiny

Why?????? :(

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
11:36 am

@Leggs – is that the new one thats supposedly full one expletive after another? Shame on you Leggs…lol
@kimmie – 11 yrs yesterday. thuoght maybe he was working on something for the evening, so waited the day away…nada. mind you i set something up at the house for him b4 i left 4 work in the morning…

kimmie

September 2nd, 2010
11:37 am

blue – :(

carte blanche

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
11:38 am

kimmie @ 11:33

There are a million jokes that can / will be made about this, so I suggest we sit back and let the laughs begain!!!

kimmie

September 2nd, 2010
11:40 am

Simple – I know! I was just really pulling for them though, cause I love TI and even though Tiny’s voice is annoying, she seems cool too!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:40 am

@blue ~ yes, a lot of F U’s in the song.

Did you say “happy anniversary” to him? Oh, sorry, I see you did.

Simple Man!!!!

September 2nd, 2010
11:40 am

blue, Give Mr. Blue a chance to get to the weekend…maybe there is a trip planned….

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:41 am

Tiny’s voice being annoying is an understatement….WTH made her botox her lips. She looks like Ms. Piggy w/makeup!

blue - house hunting, arggg...

September 2nd, 2010
11:42 am

@Leggs/kimmie – ok, so when he asks why im torturing him i’ll say the blog told me to, lol.

as far as TI and Tiny, been wondering why all along, not just now that theyre in the news….anybody remember what she looked like way back in the day, b4 all the nose jobs and lip enhancements? lol

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:42 am

@SimpleMan ~ you may have a point there. He probably wants to see how she would react with him feigning forgetfulness!

Trevor0529

September 2nd, 2010
11:43 am

@blue – did he simply forget your anniversary?? That is a possibility.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:43 am

The Coast Guard says an offshore oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico has exploded.

OH NO!

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2010
11:44 am

Clifford gotS to do better….or not.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:44 am

@blue ~ you tell him just that. :lol: :lol:

Leggs

September 2nd, 2010
11:45 am

No more “the devil made me do it.” It’s now “the blog made me do it.”