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Archive for August, 2010

I have his attention, now what?

Women are not taught to approach men.  We are taught how to entice them, perplex them, and even spoil them.   If someone were to teach a class on making moves on men, I don’t even know what the course syllabus would look like.

Men always declare they are simple creatures, but we know better (translation: you are simple, we are anything but).  The way to turn a man’s head and grab his attention is not the hard part (it starts with a sexy shoe, doesn’t it?), though.  After the approach, a smart man wants to know the lady has substance.

I think a lot of women get caught up on making the outward appearance pretty that they forget to showcase their brains and wit.  I have even had to catch myself and tone down the va-va-voom on a first date.

We want to be desirable to men of course.  We just want to stand out from all the man-hungry, thirsty females who do and say anything to get temporary attention from men.

Guys, when was the last time a woman approached you and held your …

Continue reading I have his attention, now what? »

Are you ready to meet the one?

I met a really fascinating person this weekend. It was one of those chance encounters when you just happen to be someplace that you usually never go. I was kind of amused over how serendipitous it actually was, but I digress.

Fascinating person was someone who believed in deep and spiritual connections. The type that searches for deeper meaning in every choice we make. At some point in the conversation, I felt like I should pull out a pen and take notes!

We talked about being single and the meaning of searching for love. He asked me at one point if I was even ready to meet someone. I didn’t give him an answer because I think it was rhetorical, but mainly because I don’t know anymore!

How do you know if you are ready to meet the one?

Fascinating guy also said that too many couples don’t start their relationships from the heart. We generally start in the bedroom and work our way over to the heart stuff. I can see a lot of truth in that, don’t you?

Have you ever met someone …

Continue reading Are you ready to meet the one? »

Too much mystery is not sexy

I was reading the news story of a woman who discovered her husband’s wedding to somebody else on Facebook.  Clearly there were some signs because she was online searching for clues.  It reminded me of when I met this guy who at first seemed so intriguing.  He was all vague and a little mysterious.  It started out as a playful flirty thing, but then it turned into outright question dodging.

When you meet someone new do you think it is cool to hold back information to make things more exciting or mysterious? I suppose some people can pull that off well.  It only seems to be a problem when the person is being mysterious because they have a pretty awful secret they don’t want you to know about.

How would you handle a situation when the person you are really interested in tends to be a little too mysterious?  Do you turn into a dating detective and attempt to figure it out?  Would you chuck the deuces and cut them loose?

Are you the mysterious one that people always want to …

Continue reading Too much mystery is not sexy »

Try new things

Have you ever met someone who seemed a little close-minded?  The type that isn’t open to anything new or different, simply because they like what the like.  Yeah, that could get annoying on a date.  I suppose it really is a compatibility issue more than anything, but what does it hurt to try new things?

When you are interested in meeting and dating people, part of attracting someone who you find engaging and interesting is having the same qualities!  You probably don’t want to date someone who hates everything and criticizes what you are in to.  Why would anyone expect to attract a person with that kind of attitude?

What do you think makes you an interesting date?  How open are you to trying new things?

What would you do if you met someone who seemed really great but they did not like to try new things like travel, taste different cuisines, etc.  Also, sidebar? I can’t imagine those types would be that great in the bedroom, I’m just sayin’

If you aren’t a fan of …

Continue reading Try new things »

Can we have traditional dating values?

A fabulous friend of mine declared “It is possible to be a modern woman with traditional dating values!” I happen to agree with that sentiment but I thought about how tough it was to actually apply this theory to our dating experiences.

When we have all of the perks and trappings of a modern world, traditional dating values get a bit turned on its head.  Is it becoming a problem trying to hold on to tradition in the dating scene today? I suppose you could become creative and find new ways to hold on to tradition, but how does it play out?

Guys do you find it endearing or annoying when a modern woman has traditional dating values? What would you do if a woman wanted you to court her in a traditional sense? What do you consider too traditional? What would you consider too modern?

Ladies! Do you ever feel like Erkyah Badu: A analog girl in a digital world?  How do you manage to maintain your traditional values about relationships and dating?  What has worked for you and what …

Continue reading Can we have traditional dating values? »

Dateonomics: Is dating worth it?

When you consider the amount of time, money, and effort we invest in finding a mate, you can’t help but notice the costs and benefits of dating.  We may reach the point where it’s hard to see that it’s worth all of that investment though!

If we weren’t sinking our money in to online dating, going out, gym memberships, and other mate-baiting activities, would we still get the same return on our investment in dating?  I can remember an older woman told me to spend less time and money into man hunting and focus on travel and leading a fantastic life.   She said she never looked back and said, “Gee, if only I had bought more lipstick!”

It makes me wonder if single people are paying too much for the opportunity to meet someone special. Do you think we spend too much time and money on dating and relationships?

What is the most you are willing to spend to attend a single’s mixer? What about an online dating service or matchmaker?

Do you think the money we spend impacts our …

Continue reading Dateonomics: Is dating worth it? »

Dating: Sending mixed messages?

There are certain single men who claim that they want to be single and free but they expect things from women that one would call “girlfriend stuff.”  I wonder if men experience the same with women.  Do men meet women who say they don’t want a man yet they call men up and ask for favors that are usually done by boyfriends or husbands?

It’s the worst form of mixed messages you can get in dating.  That “you’re not the one but I sure want you to act like it until I find them” mixed message.  Actually, it’s not even a completely mixed message, it’s pretty clear what is being said.  People who want all the perks of relationships without an actual committed relationship are the reason a lot of us become bitter.  Ok, it’s why I get bitter

What do you do when someone is giving you this kind of mixed message in dating? Do you cut them off altogether?

Are you guilty of doing this to someone? Have you been called on it?

Continue reading Dating: Sending mixed messages? »

Bad girls get married

Bad boys have their appeal.  I get why women do stupid things for them.  I can even admit that some of that bad boy image still gets my attention.  I just don’t know if women are marrying the bad boys.  They are intrigued by them and possibly even head over heels.  Picturing them as husbands and fathers, not so much.

Interestingly enough, the female hell-raisers and bad girls are rarely single for long.  Something about them men find fascinating.  So fascinating, they want to always have her around.  Have you ever seen an episode of Bridezilla!?

Why do men love and marry women who are “bad girls”?  It seems that women, at some point, outgrow the attraction to bad boys.  Is that the case for men?  When do guys stop chasing the bad girls who make their lives so unstable?

If someone is a glutton for dating punishment, what should they know before dating a bad girl or bad boy?

Continue reading Bad girls get married »

Too much honesty?

Have you ever dated someone who was brutally honest?  I am referring to a person who spoke with very little tact, virtually no filter, and the concept of “sugarcoating” their conversation to make it less bitter was impossible for them. I can see how this would be problematic in a relationship.  I believe that relationships can only handle so much honesty.

There are some things that require special handling and any honesty would require a little finesse.   Men aren’t always good at that because they want to be able to say what is on their mind..minus all the emotional reactions from their women.

Can women handle the truth about their man or relationships? Well, it depends. It’s more complicated then that. We don’t like being lied to but we definitely don’t like insensitive statements from the person we love.  Yes, this makes men miserable because it is a catch-22, but the man that knows how to provide honesty and love at the same time is a keeper in our book!

DO you think …

Continue reading Too much honesty? »

Too hot to be happy

Marry someone unattractive and be happier. So goes the theory, that is.  I have heard this for a long time and I always wondered why someone would want to be in a relationship with someone they aren’t attracted to.  I mean, isn’t the point of staying in love and in a committed relationship? When they are driving you to the brink of insanity, you get distracted by their hotness and get over it?

Of course, I’m being a little facetious, but I truly don’t get why people encourage singles to “marry ugly” or “marry down”.  You can grow to love someone but if the strong desire to rip their clothes off isn’t there, is it even worth jumping the broom?

Maybe I am being naive, here. What do you guys think?  Can you be happy with a person you consider unattractive?  How would it work?

What would happen if we all dated any ole’ scraggamuffin, simply because we wanted to be coupled up.  How long  would it take before reality kicks in?

Have you ever dated someone you were not …

Continue reading Too hot to be happy »