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Dating in the Facebook nation

I watch my teenage nieces and their dramatic Facebook status updates and can’t help but feel relieved.  I am so thankful that I never had Facebook in my teen years.  I should send Zuckerman a thank you card.

You wonder how much of ourselves start to take shape online.  We share on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and many other slightly narcissistic social media outlets.  Do you think people who want to date us could read or observe something and get turned off?

In a recent Forbes article, Are You Revealing Too Much On Facebook, the author makes a pretty interesting point.  Your “profile” can be raised or lowered in the eyes of a potential.  Since it isn’t a typical dating website, Facebook becomes a way people discover your personality.  This isn’t necessarily a good thing for everyone.

I can admit that I lost my excitement over a guy after watching a little of his social media existence.  Is it fair? Probably not.  At the same time, I couldn’t totally ignore how he “looked” on Facebook and Twitter.  It’s not your Mama’s dating scene, people.  If compatibility clues are there to reveal things to you, does it matter if they are e-clues?

What do you think? Is this a totally new way we are unfairly judging each other? Is it smart to look at all sides of a person?  IRL vs e-life, what’s the best way to determine if the person is a good catch?

316 comments Add your comment

abc

August 30th, 2010
10:58 am

I would actually call into question the Facebook claim of number of users. I’d say that they can claim that many accounts, but how many people have more than one account? How many people have abandoned their accounts? How many accounts are actually a front for a business or commercial concern? I would speculate that the actual number of users could be 1/4 as many, maybe even 1/5.

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
11:08 am

Melo,

You are right if used correctly you can keep in touch with all your fam and plan events with them. I think one with a very small population of people in their lives would not benefit from FB, hence no one would want to find them, and they roll with an ultra small circle. However my maternal grandma (pa) had nine kids so my family is huge…my daddy side is big as well. I would have to quit my job to send out friendly letters to visit all of those folks. :grin:

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
11:13 am

As for whether you want to use terms like “tech savvy” or “computer literate” to describe older relatives or those that don’t use FB and other internet mediums, it really doesn’t matter. My grandmother is almost 90 years old and I have some other older relatives. They don’t have computers and don’t have the desire, so they don’t access the internet. And at their ages, they’ve earned the right not to do any da– thing they don’t want to do. It’s not imperative that they have computer access, like it is for everyone else. When my grandmother wants or needs to communicate online, my cousins bring over their laptops, but that’s not often. She is educated and can read and write quite well, and I’m if computers and the internet had been readily available in her younger days, she would have been as up on it all as the rest of us. It’s just not a big necessity in her world. I enjoy talking to her on the phone, visiting her and getting her cards & letters in the mail.

blue - Waiting...

August 30th, 2010
11:20 am

@DD – Im with you Diana, my fam is just too huge to keep up with everyone via phone, and i’ll be honest, some of them i cant handle being on the phone with. on the phone, its an hour long convo that evolves from “well i started a new job” to “what do you think is wrong with my cat” (and yes, did have my grandmother call to ask me about her cat, no im not a vet, but i have a dog and somehow she thought that id know….?). at least FB wise its usually more direct….

Purple Rain

August 30th, 2010
11:20 am

Real men don’t tweet or facebook. LOL

Remember when it cost to make a long distance call or mail a letter, with all of this new technology it takes no effort to communicate. I think that is why there is a lack of emotion, think about it. When you called someone in the 80/90’s you made sure what you had to say was important because you had to pay for that long distance call and when you took the time to write a letter you actually put more thought into it, there was no deleting or pulling back the letter once it was signed and sealed it was delivered.

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
11:24 am

“what do you think is wrong with my cat”
@blue you should have told her that is a question for Steven Q. Stanley :grin:

I couldn’t help it.

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:27 am

20 years ago relatively few had personal computers, and there was no Internet. Nobody needed it then; nobody really needs it now.

Other than fun and supposed convenience, what does your computer do for you? There aren’t many more classes of applications now than there were in 1990: word processing, databases, spreadsheets, graphics, and email were all around in 1990. Other than WP, DB and SS, not much else was widely used.

The same technology that revolutionized the publishing industry is all but putting it out of business now, with browser-based content replacing hard copy. However, there’s nothing (of actual value) that you can read online that hasn’t always been available through newspapers, magazines and books.

Online shopping has created a retail environment where hardly anyone knows anything about what they’re selling. Recent adventures with HD digital camcorders has been a poignant example of that for me: the cameras are great, but the software that comes with them sucks, and you’ll spend more on decent software than you do on the camera. Somebody tell me why I want to spend over $2000 on a dayum video camera?! I was better off with the old-style analog video camera of 20 years ago.

What does all the technology of the so-called “Information Age” actually do for you, that’s of actual value?

blue - Waiting...

August 30th, 2010
11:29 am

@DD – :lol: good one!
@PR/DD: sometimes that delete is a good thing, cause when she called about the cat i sure enough wanted to say “are you serious? i have a dog not a cat, im allergic to cats, i hate cats including your cats. no i dont know whats wrong with your d@mn cat, do i look like a vet? maybe its cause you never let it outside, just cause you dont want fresh air doesnt mean it doesnt…” and on and on…sometimes it can be hard to resist these urges when your live on the phone….delete/backspace is my friend……

Simple Man!!!!

August 30th, 2010
11:31 am

My play / play Twitter account:

I hate expense reports…Its hard trying to justify 4 trips to The Oasis in one month…

Dallez

August 30th, 2010
11:34 am

I had been dating this guy for 8 months and he seemed like he was such the hardworking, down to earth, simple country guy until I found out that he had a twitter and facebook account. Dude was living a 2nd life that I knew nothing about. At home he was everything that I could have imagined, on the social sites he was the ladies man. Every woman had access to him, no matter if he was here or out of town. He enjoyed being single and pretending to be this guy on the social sites. Maybe that’s who he really was? I had to realize that I didn’t know who he was. I blamed myself for not knowing. It was a job well done until he was caught.

For Real

August 30th, 2010
11:34 am

Wise: I’m sure someone else has pointed this out but since I ain’t going to read the commits I’ll stated it again. “We share on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and many other slightly “NARCISSISTIC” social media outlets.” – This says it all to me and these types of “social media” have contributed to this country reaching the pathological state of LYING and clinical DELUSION all for the sake of “self esteem”.

Ared: ” also hate the ones with no profile pics. FACEbook. LOL” – If you are my friend then you should know what I look like. Yeah I don’t have a pic up either.

Simple Man!!!!

August 30th, 2010
11:35 am

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:27 am

I used to pay somewhere upwards of $100.00 a year for the AJC….Now The AJC online is free and I got an extra Hundy to spend on something or someone… That my man is real value… :)

AmazonRed™

August 30th, 2010
11:36 am

If you are my friend then you should know what I look like. Yeah I don’t have a pic up either.

Hey it’s your page, do what you like. But those people just seem either to not be active, or to be there to be nosy on other folks pages. So either way “defriend” :lol:

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:37 am

Yeah, but I took a class a couple months ago with some AJC techies. That baby is going out of business. They’re not making any money with the online stuff compared to what used to be made with newspaper advertising, yet subscriptions have fallen off a cliff. Me personally, I subscribe to AJC 7 days a week, but only because my wife likes it.

2CPTG©

August 30th, 2010
11:39 am

ok, abc, I’ll be ya huckleberry…..

if you’re a vet in the technology arena that you say, then you know, “there was no Internet,” ain’t true…..do you recall “Prodigy,” or, the original Netscape? But that’s neither here nor there….the information age has made the world smaller; you have a wealth of information at your fingertips; and if you can’t see the value in that, then something’s wrong with you….

For Real

August 30th, 2010
11:39 am

“What does all the technology of the so-called “Information Age” actually do for you, that’s of actual value?” – Allows me to be in several places at one and get paid. I don’t have travel as much and I can live in any city, state or country I choose. So the “Information Age” is perfect for me.

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:41 am

How does that work for you really, For Real? I mean, what business are you in that you can remotely support it, almost all the time, or all the time?

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:44 am

Prodigy, CompuServe, all the wildcat boards, sure… use of them was fairly minimal though, compared to Internet use.

I would submit that the availability of information looked up through google/bing/yahoo/mooter etc. etc. has created a society where nobody really knows anything — they just know how to go look up an esoteric detail. Hence, no such thing as experts. That’s a bit of an exaggeration for what’s currently the case, but that’s where it leads.

2CPTG©

August 30th, 2010
11:50 am

this is gon’ be a good day afterall…..

“they just know how to go look up an esoteric detail. Hence, no such thing as experts. That’s a bit of an exaggeration for what’s currently the case, but that’s where it leads”

ummm, isn’t that what research is intended to do? Where once upon a time you had to dig through catalogs of info to find what you were looking for can now be found by simply typing in a few key words….

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
11:50 am

the information age has made the world smaller; you have a wealth of information at your fingertips; and if you can’t see the value in that, then something’s wrong with you….

2CP – I agree, whether you like it or not, it is all here to stay – not going back. You either get with it or get left behind. I remember when all we had were encyclopedias to do homework with. Now when I help kids with homework, we can look up tons of info on the web. And it is just wonderful not having to run all over town when you are looking for something in particular to purchase. And imagine job-hunting without the web? So many jobs you would not know existed are available at your fingertips to apply for. Even though I’m not into FB or Twitter, I can’t imagine the almost complete shutoff from the world that lack of access to the web would bring in my life.

MELO

August 30th, 2010
11:55 am

@abc?? whats valuable to somebody may not be that valuable to you. If u are an isolated person and dont talk to ur fam that much, i can see how having an email account or facebook acount may not work 4 u. However,if you want to keep in touch with ur many folks,like i do and the pple are in various continents,facebook, email etc will come in handy.

I cannot quantify the value in $$$ terms..but it certainly is of immense value to me.

Im not big on online shopping except for books on amazon or movie tickets or other sporting events. Certainly beats standing and waiting in line to buy them tickets and getting the seats i want….

As a software guy urself, i think u lost out on the money side of it to these young enterpeneaurs who beat u to the punch..thats ur gripe, I
see that :lol:
:lol:

abc

August 30th, 2010
11:57 am

I would submit that once upon a time, people simply knew things because they were experts in the field. I’m constantly faced with technologists that don’t really know what they’re doing. They can google things all day long though — and personally, I find that the Internet is very useful for finding out information about technology, too. Real experts are becoming fewer and fewer, though.

Wikipedia might be pretty handy, but the content therein is a bit suspect. Bible study is enhanced through sites like biblegateway.com. I can get a replacement manual for my gas powered edger just by looking it up. It’s hard for me to characterize these things as justification and rationale for the monster that the Internet has become, though.

Frankly, the Internet was better in 1996 than it is now. The marketeers have crippled a good thing, and the net result is loss of all personal privacy — Facebook is a prime example of that, and yet for many, it’s their primary use for their computer and the Internet.

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:00 pm

Other than fun and supposed convenience, what does your computer do for you?

@abc, my computer or my usage of the computer make me money. Even when I am sleep folks are buying…I woke up Sunday morning with a little something extra in my pay pal account.

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
12:03 pm

Melo – Your last paragraph in your 11:55 – I believe that’s the real issue!

MELO

August 30th, 2010
12:09 pm

I find that the Internet is very useful for finding out information about technology, too

@abc..in the process,creating a level playing field. U dont have to pay someone to get info or service because u can do some of the stuff urself by looking it up on the net.

Loss of personal privacy thru facebook is not anybody’s problem but u,the person who puts the stuff on there.
Thats where personal responsibility comes in.
Wikipedia might be pretty handy, but the content therein is a bit suspect is it not updated by users?? so u have to know and understand what u are getting be4 hand. Same with any other sight like google..u sift the data coz because its from the net dont mean its 100% aunthentic and accurate.

2CPTG©

August 30th, 2010
12:09 pm

And I would submit that experts became experts because they did the necessary research in their respective field to be labeled as such…is Einstein any less of an “expert” because he had the use of a calculator as opposed to an abacus????

abc

August 30th, 2010
12:10 pm

I haven’t been in software development for 10 years; all that is offshored to places like India these days. Certainly you’re more aware of the industry than that? Actually, I’ve made a little thing that might have some potential, we’ll see. It’s nothing more than a playtoy, though, compared to what makes a living for me. I cringe at the thought of being reliant upon the web to make a living. I think I’d rather be employed!

abc

August 30th, 2010
12:11 pm

That’s funny, Einstein and a calculator. Calculators hadn’t been invented in Einstein’s day.

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
12:13 pm

I like that show Army Wives, and it showed another wonderful use of the internet. Soldiers that are deployed are able to communicate with their families and loved ones better than in the past. Imagine waiting for some letter to get delivered, if ever? One soldier was even able to be in the delivery room, via the web, to see his daughter come in the world.

abc

August 30th, 2010
12:15 pm

That same wonderful use of the Internet allows for security breaches like the recent dump on WikiLeaks.

For Real

August 30th, 2010
12:15 pm

abc: When a company on the West Coast or overseas is in need of my input/opinion on a deal I do not have to travel there in order to get the nuts and bolts of the deal. I can handle everything from here. Oh and it also allows me have a job and consult myself out on the side.

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:15 pm

Melo, excellent 11:55 who wants to camp out to get tickets for a show.

Luvbug

August 30th, 2010
12:16 pm

LOL @ the labeling…

FB and social networks = popular people with a life
Non-FB and social networks = isolated people with no family or friends

Am I to assume that most people don’t filter their regular contacts to a small group??

and that…

Without social networks, folks would still stay in regular contact with all of their social network contacts?? Or would have sought them out to begin with??

That’s pretty kind.

2CPTG©

August 30th, 2010
12:16 pm

“Calculators hadn’t been invented in Einstein’s day.”

surely you jest! Google the caluclator’s timeline, and tell me they weren’t around in Einstien’s day….when working on the “Manhattan Project” all of the leading scientists had calculators, and other shyt common folks didn’t have access to….

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
12:17 pm

Like everything else in the world, since the beginning of time, there is a good side and a bad side. A wonderful use and a not-so wonderful use.

Duh!

j

August 30th, 2010
12:17 pm

I’ll be honest … i was being set-up with a blind date by one of my friends, and she wanted to friend request me before we went out. Well, let’s just say the date wasn’t so “blind” when she sent me the friend request and i saw a few unlfattering pictures of her. I still went on the date to be nice, but it was a turn off by what i saw on her page. I don’t agree that you should post your location on FB b/c there are too many stalkers out there that could easily use that info or rob you when you’re not home. I think the status updates are cool and i like knowing whats going on with my friends, especially if i don’t talk to them every week.

MELO

August 30th, 2010
12:18 pm

I haven’t been in software development for 10 years; all that is offshored to places like India these days

@abc..u were basically made reduntant… :lol: and u wld rather be employed than be an employer or shareholder with serious mula??

I think u punked out during the dot com of 2000/01 but if u had been persistant, u wld have retired by now,possibly.

Ur gripe is fermenting..its coming out at the very top like a well brewed zulu brew… abc?? :lol:

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:24 pm

Albert Einstein (pronounced /ˈælbərt ˈaɪnstaɪn/; German: [ˈalbɐt ˈaɪnʃtaɪn] ; 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955

Calculators :arrow: In 1885, Burroughs filed his first patent for a calculating machine. However, his 1892 patent was for an improved calculating machine with an added printer

Somebody help me, Melo and 2Can what am I missing????

For Real

August 30th, 2010
12:25 pm

abc: Althought we don’t typically agree on alot but I could at least expect your post to have some logic to them this post is sound like it’s from a 90 year old man with an Atri sitting on top of his TV still in the box. “I would submit that once upon a time, people simply knew things because they were experts in the field.” – Kinda like osmosis huh? Where did the people in your “once upon a time” get there information?

“I’m constantly faced with technologists that don’t really know what they’re doing. They can google things all day long though — and personally, I find that the Internet is very useful for finding out information about technology, too. Real experts are becoming fewer and fewer, though.” – this basically “knowledge vs intelligence”

abc

August 30th, 2010
12:26 pm

See now, there’s an example of what I’m talking about, 2CPTG. I understand that yall would like to lash out against my unpopular opinion(s) and all, but. Might this be a case of google misleading you into thinking you know anything about that? Not to be insulting or offensive; only to illustrate the point.

As of WW 2, operations that required anything more than simple adding and subtracting required a room-sized contraption that resembled a computer in name only. It was the early 60’s before anything resembling a modern calculator existed, and those would add, subtract, multiply and divide. The stuff Einstein was concerned with exceeded that such that a BB resembles the Sun in size. He died in 1955, up to a decade before even that existed. Mercury spacecraft flew without computers, and the engineers that designed and built them used slide-rule technology, not computers and calculators.

For Real

August 30th, 2010
12:26 pm

abc: “That same wonderful use of the Internet allows for security breaches like the recent dump on WikiLeaks.” – Like the Watergate leaks?

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:28 pm

Ur gripe is fermenting..its coming out at the very top like a well brewed zulu brew… abc?? :grin:

Funny, but true!

abc

August 30th, 2010
12:31 pm

I don’t see what military secrets pertinent to war in Afghanistan and Watergate have to do with each other.

Purple Rain

August 30th, 2010
12:33 pm

I think the opposite, people with more of an active lifestyle tend to be on social networking sites less than those who do not. I just don’t think I have the time to tweet or post updates/pictures on facebook, while I am out jogging, mountain biking, fishing, hiking, dancing, barn fires, shopping, at the sports bar, taking the wife out. etc. LOL, while at work is a different story but work is the priority and when I have time I will blog, I wonder if everyone is working then blogging or blogging then working. Just my thoughts. And abc, your thoughts are not all that unpopular you are just condescneding in tone and more or less self righteous so even when people agree with you usually take a tone whereas why even bother.

Simple Man!!!!

August 30th, 2010
12:34 pm

abc….You ok??? If you like I will be your Facebook friend so that you will not feel so pissed on by the rest of the world… We can’t hang in real life though…Your lameness my cramp my style…

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:37 pm

@Simple Man, your 12:34 was something else :evil: :grin:

Dirty Diana ♠ Sabali sabali sabali yonkonte

August 30th, 2010
12:40 pm

And abc, your thoughts are not all that unpopular you are just condescneding in tone and more or less self righteous so even when people agree with you usually take a tone whereas why even bother.

Preach, my little purple toy Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Purple Rain

August 30th, 2010
12:40 pm

Lunch Quote for Today:

If you always have to be right you will be right by yourself. LOL

kimmie

August 30th, 2010
12:41 pm

Not to be insulting or offensive

:lol:

unpopular opinion – Not popular or unpopular, just your own.

czBrat

August 30th, 2010
12:42 pm

HiYas! what’s going on in here on this lovely monday?