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Date someone frugal? You should!

I don’t know who decided the term frugal had to be negative for men.  It’s like there is a double standard there.  Women who are smart with money are intelligent but men get tagged with the cheap guy label.

Personally, I believe that frugal means that a man is mature and intelligent enough to save generously and spend wisely.  It doesn’t mean he won’t know how to have fun and treat you with kindness.

The New York Times article asked, Can Smart Money Management Be Sexy? When you consider our current economy, not only is smart money management sexy, it should be mandatory!

What do you think the difference is between smart and frugal with money and cheap?

If you are someone who is smart with money, do you think that impacts your dating experiences?  Is it hard to meet and connect with other frugal people?

I think we could all benefit from sharing new ways to date in Atlanta on a budget.  What is the last date you have been on that cost $25 or less?

Where are the most affordable (and romantic?) places to eat?

339 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2010
9:03 am

*unlocking doors* *turning on the lights* Morning Blog family. Guess I’m first!

YESSHEISCUTE

August 26th, 2010
9:03 am

My boyfriend is frugal with money….he is also frugal with his emotions and other things so I think it goes without saying….

The good thing about it is he is not impulsive and he is only cheap when he wants to be (his hobby is cars so he doesnt mind blowing 200-300 on a car part for one of his cars or if he sees a shirt he likes he will get it but other than that cheap cheap cheap).

I don’t have to worry about him doing something impulsive like cheating on me but then I really can’t expect him to be very forthcoming with a lot of his emotions either because he is very macho I guess.

I think even with men there is a difference with a man being frugal and a man being cheap. Its something that is a situational judgement call. But yes women have the benefit of always being called “good with money”….we like what we like even when we nickel and dime the salesperson for it!

:D

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 26th, 2010
9:07 am

Hola!

Hopefully someone will post the list from last year. We had this topic in so many words and a lot of ideas were posted. I remember doing a list by the seasons…my favorite thing during the Holidays is riding around with a cup of hot chocolate and looking at Christmas lights.

2CPTG©

August 26th, 2010
9:12 am

Morning….

A Date for $25 or less??? ahhh, nowhere! Hell, you can’t even go to the movies for that amount – if you do, don’t plan on eating.

And the difference between being smart with money, and being cheap, is knowing when, and whom to spend it on!

“SHEISCUTE”…..so what’s the attraction between you and dude?

Leggs

August 26th, 2010
9:12 am

Good morning.

Nothing wrong with being frugal and aware of where your dollars are going. Being cheap is another story. When you want me to account to you where I spent $10 or even $20 is a bit much. There was a guy that wanted to see my budget plans on paper in the early stages of getting to know each other. I declined showing him, as well as declined on getting to know him any better. Don’t ask things of me like this week 2 of meeting you!

blue - Waiting...

August 26th, 2010
9:13 am

GM all,

frugal and cheap – frugal i guess would be living comfortably while staying within your means, not over extending yourself to impress those around you. in my book, very attractive, shows you have some sense and i shouldnt have to worry about avoidable financial hardship. cheap – penny pinching so much that life is consumed by it. no way to really enjoy anything cause your always celebrating what you did without or got around doing, and griping whenver you actually do have to spend. sooo not sexy. cheap would be like Julius on Everybody Hates Chris “Thats $.45 worth of milk on the floor”, lol

YESSHEISCUTE

August 26th, 2010
9:13 am

Oh yeah a date under $25 dollars for both….that’s a good idea. I mean if you don’t count the things you can do at home….go to a sports bar and have a couple of drinks and watch a game. I always get promotional tickets to places from my job so I usually use those to go to movies or games or whatever.

DC Rose

August 26th, 2010
9:15 am

GM ALL – I dated a guy that was CHEAP. He would spend too much money on clothes and cars IMO, but then wouldn’t pay to go into an event. He’d just hang outside watching people. Or, go to dinner and just have water and pick from my plate. While sitting there wearing a couple of hundred bucks in rags and expensive perfume.

I considered him to be selectively frugal. No savings, no retirement, no property – just a lot of stuff.

I will date someone that is frugal and smart with money. I don’t mind sharing expenses or doing things on a budget. But don’t be cheap because you blew your money on something unnecessary/stupid.

Simple Man!!!!

August 26th, 2010
9:21 am

Good morning all!!!
I guess i will admit to being one of those borderline careless dudes… I have been blessed to earn a pretty good living and While i take great pains to ensure that i have a nest egg and rainy day fund, I am impusive with my purchases, and I have no problem splurging on dates. Now this is not to say that I am a paymaster or anything like that, But I definatly believe in living for today, and if that means I sometimes miss a chance to enjoy a cheap / inexpensive date then I will take that….

DC Rose

August 26th, 2010
9:21 am

Best date under $25 – Blanket, park, food, beverages from home, tennis racquet and balls and an erotic book. Best date ever. It lasted 10 hours.

2CPTG©

August 26th, 2010
9:26 am

DC Rose….yeah, that is pretty cool….forgot about those dates in the park…hell, lemme find a gal that likes frugality, and it’s on!!!!

DreamsMaterialize

August 26th, 2010
9:28 am

Morning
Nothing wrong with being frugal or cheap. It only bothers when that same person is more than willing to spend your money doing things they’re to “frugal” or “cheap” to spend their own cash on.

What is the last date you have been on that cost $25 or less?
Went with this chic to see one of those free movies in the park. We brought our own food and drinks. Less than $15.

Had an ice cream date recently. Less than $10.

Watched a late night/early morning meteor shower, complete with blanket and adult hot cocoa. No cost.

Where are the most affordable (and romantic?) places to eat?
Chateau Dreams enjoying a meal I’ve cooked, along with a nice Spatlese. ;-)

Simple Man!!!!

August 26th, 2010
9:37 am

Morning Leggs…how are you today???

i'm swiss™

August 26th, 2010
9:41 am

“I don’t know who decided the term frugal had to be negative for men.”

Pretty sure it was a woman. ;-)

Leggs

August 26th, 2010
9:41 am

Good morning, SimpleMan. I’m good. Having breakfast right now. Showing all leg. Maybe someone will pay for my breakfast!

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2010
9:42 am

Frugal yes that’s me. I still love going out, especially to eat, so I found ways to make it happen. I’m addicted to Groupon/Half Off Depot/Scoutmob etc. So I buy those coupons that basically make it possible for two to eat out affordably.

Yesterday’s deal was $4 movie tickets. No excuses to stay at home at those prices. :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

August 26th, 2010
9:43 am

Damn!!! Looks like I missed out again!! :(
And everybody knows I will spend all of my lunch money to share company with a pair of really nice Leggs!!! LOL

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2010
9:50 am

Ok, so yeah some folks are cheap… but many women also just have a skewed perspective. I know women who lived with their parents until they were 21-25 years old, college graduates, making upwards of $30-40K annually ahow drive European cars and when they step out on their own they buy a big house or a nice condo with the money they saved for living at home until they were 25. When these women meet a dude who has been on his own since the age 18 or 21 maybe with the same college degree and maybe making more money, but living in an apartment and driving a Chevy they have a problem because he is “not on her level”. I have also seen these same women mismanage their money and end up back at their parent’s house because they had not learned what it takes to live on your own.

http://zanderedward.com

YESSHEISCUTE

August 26th, 2010
9:51 am

@ blue – Waiting… 9:13 am

you said it best

@ 2CPTG© I don’t know. I really think he is a great guy and those are few and far to come by these days the dating scene is real sorry. I like him a lot and we have fun together my only real beef is he doesnt know how to express his feelings. I am his first real girlfriend so… I also know what to expect my last boyfriend I was his first as well so I can tell you he was not good boyfriend material but after 4 years I whipped him into shape and now he is a way better boyfriend now than when we first started dating…I actually didnt realize it until I broke up with him how much he had grown over the years. I am just debating b/c if I put in that work again I’m not leaving this time around just trying to figure out if its worth it……..

Luvbug

August 26th, 2010
9:52 am

I can’t say that women don’t get it for being frugal. Some may even vocally imply a woman is broke because she doesn’t spend in the same bracket as her income. People make a lot of grand assumptions.

I don’t care for cheap, but frugal is okay. Then again, I for one despise frugal or cheapness on vacations…but I will bring a lunch to work and could give a rats butt about the type of car I drive, don’t shop a lot or have a frequent mani-pedi and hair schedule.

Bottom line, I would prefer a guy know what he spends each month and is conscious of where his money is going and is not obsessed with proving his worth with stuff and money.

Dig That

August 26th, 2010
9:52 am

Good morning erybody

The most cost effective dates seem to be the ones that start and end at the crib.
Kiss/hug at the front door to greet- No cost
Dinner already purchased just need to prepare- No cost
Movie in the DVD- No cost
Wine/Drinks already stocked at the bar- No cost
Great conversation and mental stimulation- No cost
Multiple orgasms at the end of the night- Priceless!!!

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 26th, 2010
9:53 am

@DreamsM, Chateau Dreams sounds like it will get someone in trouble.

Groupons is really nice and provide very good deals

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2010
9:54 am

Also what I see much more often are women who just want to save their own money and have a man spend his money on her. I hear women with all these expectations of what a man has to do to keep her happy such as making sure she has everything she wants, taking her shopping, taking her on exotic vacations, etc. Those things are nice, but I say that if you can’t afford to treat yourself to those things and you are not willing to spend your own money to have those things you should not require a man to do those things. I mean really if you are 30 and jsut got a passport last week, what makes you think I have to take you around the world, when you have never been OTP.
http://hispointofview.com

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2010
9:56 am

At the opposite end of the spectrum, if you are cheaper/more frugal than I am, please don’t hound me because I got double meat on my sub sandwich… yes I do know that sandwich meat is cheaper at the grocery store, but its my money and if I want extra meat on my sandwich I shall have that.
http://zanderedward.com

Dig That

August 26th, 2010
9:58 am

Also what I see much more often are women who just want to save their own money and have a man spend his money on her.

@EPO- You hit the nail on the head my friend. Very sad. I find this to be a big turn off. I can’t buy a drink for a woman that is not capable of buying one for herself. If you were broke then you should have stayed home and how interested can I be in you when my first impression of you is you BEGGING!!!!

It's me....lurker

August 26th, 2010
9:59 am

Frankly I’m not impressed with a dude that leads with his wallet while at the same time I have an immense appreciation for a man that can show me a good time without watching the meter. A man discplined enough to not throw caution to the wind and blowing the light bill money, all in the name of a good time is not smart and I’m not impressed. If you don’t bring enough funds in to tithe, make the mortgage, the carpayment, insurance, utitilities, necessities AND blowing a few dollars on leisure then be smart and go cheap. Two things though I think men will do is make time and spend a dime on the right person.

YESSHEISCUTE

August 26th, 2010
10:04 am

@ its me lurker [b]“Two things though I think men will do is make time and spend a dime on the right person.”[/b]

that’s right!

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 26th, 2010
10:05 am

Question

If you all do not mind answering, how many bloggers, lurkers and moniker changers pay tithes at church? I don’t want to get in a church discussion, but I am curious since this came up last week.

It's me....lurker

August 26th, 2010
10:05 am

Me…I pay thithes

It's me....lurker

August 26th, 2010
10:06 am

YESSHEISCUTE…absolutely

2CPTG©

August 26th, 2010
10:06 am

“Two things though I think men will do is make time and spend a dime on the right person.”

yep….

and EPO, you’re right! akin to what Lyfe Jennings simp azz said, “you can’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime!”

It's me....lurker

August 26th, 2010
10:06 am

Sassy Me...Fire n Ice :-)

August 26th, 2010
10:08 am

East pernt you sound disgruntled…have you been hurt by a selfish, still living at home with mommy n daddy type woman like that? If so, sorry you had that experience.

On topic: I think there are tons to do on/for a date that doesn’t have to break the bank. All it takes is some thought and effort because there is a difference between cheap and frugal. That being said, I also think there are some things that once in a while you can splurge on to treat yourself for something like a birthday,monumental accomplishment..etc. Then again there may not have to be any reason at all….for some.

Leggs

August 26th, 2010
10:08 am

DirtyD ~ I tithe.

DC Rose

August 26th, 2010
10:08 am

I dated a guy that made significantly less than I did. He was very creative, resourceful and handy. We’d occasionally run errands together on the weekend. He’d have a cooler in his trunk with drinks, snacks and sometimes lunch. It was so cool to stop somewhere and have a tasty, healthy lunch. He proved you didn’t need a lot of cash, just the ability to plan.

blue - Waiting...

August 26th, 2010
10:09 am

@Luvbug – I would prefer a guy know what he spends each month and is conscious of where his money is going and is not obsessed with proving his worth with stuff and money. – right on. tired of guys who think because they are willing to spend big on you that somehow that means you should be impressed and obligated. the go big or go home does not, imo, need to be applied with everything. a lot of women, myself included, would take the date that shows thought and attention to detail over the big showy front row tickets to the latest show when its a performer i cant stand. status not always a deal maker, attention to what you know about me: priceless….

kimmie

August 26th, 2010
10:10 am

Good morning!

As for men & money – at this point in my life I don’t have patience for a grown man that can’t manage his money. I dated a guy that was irresponsible financially before and it was no picnic. Bad money management was the leading cause of the demise of a friend’s marriage. So everybody, be grown, manage your money and live within your means.

I’m not about to tell a dude how to spend his money and I don’t want anyone telling me how to spend mine. Yes, there are things that I am able to do now with my man that I wanted to do when I was single but didn’t have the means. So? Some things are nicer with a partner, great that you can experience together and share the expenses. I don’t see why that would be an issue.

What I will never understand are folks that are married, with 2 incomes and no kids, that are always broke. In worse shape financially it seems than when they were single. Just don’t get it.

I don’t mind frugal at all. It’s called being responsible, especially if you are trying to save up for something or live on a budget. What is uncomfortable is a person that is cheap and nickel & dimes everything to the point that they make everyone around them miserable and never get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

I went to college so that I could afford a certain basic lifestyle. I am able to afford housing in a decent neighborhood, get regular hair & pedicure appointments, drive a decent, dependable car, eat decent fresh food and occasionally be able to go out and/or buy myself some decent clothes and shoes of decent quality. Not talking the high life, just the basics. Comfortable.

Not too much to ask, I think.

DC Rose

August 26th, 2010
10:13 am

DD sorry to say – no way! Church is a crooked business I chose not to participate in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a believer and live my life accordingly, but I’ve seen behind the scenes church business. Still makes me shake my head.

Simple Man!!!!

August 26th, 2010
10:14 am

Not Scared to say that While help out at around the church…I refuse to regularly tithe….. Seen far to many times when the bulding fund is short but Bishop “whatshisname” or Pastor and Mrs “cashflow” got new rims on the ride… Like i said i will not be a paymaster for a lady (except Leggs LOL :D ) or for the church!!!

Dig That

August 26th, 2010
10:16 am

@kimmie- Not to much to ask at all.

@DirtyD- how are you today

Dig That

August 26th, 2010
10:17 am

kimmie

August 26th, 2010
10:18 am

blue/Sas – Both spectrums are a complete turnoff – those leading with the wallet & status-chasers and the super-cheap. Both are a bore.

I guess I get an abundance of pride from my mother and other women in my family – a dude can keep his little dimes if he’s so concerned. I will stay home and eat a peanut butter sandwich any day of the week and be just fine. God bless the child that’s got her own!

Leggs

August 26th, 2010
10:18 am

:lol: :lol: @SimpleMan! You may have to eat those words one day!

Being frugal shows that you’re conscious and concerned how your money is being spent. Many frugal dates are fun dates, i.e., drive-in movie with blanket, cooler full of your drink of choice and ranch wings!

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2010
10:20 am

@Sassy Me I am not disgruntled… I am just speaking about the topic, I would say that a little more than half of the women I have dated have either been along for the(free)ride, or they pestered me about every nickel of my own money I spent. The other less than half of the women I hae ever dated have either never made money an issue and the very small minority broke bread about evenly when we were dating, I can say that I have only ever dated 1 woman who spent more on me than I did on her, and she was so extreme that she would not ever let me pay for anything, she basically paid for every date we had after I paid for the first date.

kimmie

August 26th, 2010
10:21 am

Don’t date if you can’t afford it.

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 26th, 2010
10:23 am

Thanks folks on the tithe question…I was just curious. I know some churches are catching it, because folks are pulling back the money, and more people are asking the church for help…I just wanted to know where the blog stood.

What I will never understand are folks that are married, with 2 incomes and no kids, that are always broke. In worse shape financially it seems than when they were single. Just don’t get it.

Neither do I, a married lady told me that even with two incomes and one abode they were broke because of the wedding, vacations, buying gifts for each others family and friends…plus they both had bills to begin with :arrow: I think they were broke from the start are living too high on the hog.

@Sasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy

Girl I thought it was just me detecting all of that bitterness and anger from the past. Thanks for the 10:08

@DC Rose I meant to tell you I do the same thing that your ex did. If I am going out to run errands I always pack some fruit, snacks and water etc. in a little cooler bag. It saves time and money…I thought I was the only one doing that!

Kym-Frugal and proud of it.

August 26th, 2010
10:23 am

Good Morning All,

Hmm I am the festival queen..so the late spring,summer months and early fall are great times for finding free things to do all for under 25.

Lets see Wednesday Wind-down concerts are free..blankie from home free..some beverages and snacks in your little picnic tote..

or before the “youth” went wild..Screen on the Green..free movie..blankie and snacks from home..

There was also the Movie showing on Tenth street over near Tech..also free.

There is the National Black Arts Festival..plenty of free events during that time.

The Winter months it gets tricky..but if you are a Fulton County resident you can go the first Saturday of the month to the High muesum for free.

Volunteering..Free..Worthy Cause..you are only losing time and you are doing something to help others. 3 hours volunteering and then a light lunch or early dinner.

For those of you who are health nuts..go for a walk, run or jog together. We have some beautiful state parks here in the metro area..(Sweetwater Creek) Stop for ice cream on your way back.

I will keep thinking see what else I come up with.

For Real

August 26th, 2010
10:24 am

Frugal = When it’s HER money!

Cheap = When it’s HIS money!

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2010
10:25 am

Sidenote… I avoid any establishment with a ladies free event… that is the quickest way to meet a bunch of women who left the house without enough money to even get home if their friend who they got a ride from ditched them at the bar/club/lounge. I am not saying that all women at the free spot are broke/cheap/overly frugal, but if everybody had to pay to get in at least I know you are willing to come out of your pocket to fund your own entertainment.

I never have understood how people can go out on the town broke, and expecting to have a good time based on meeting strangers to sponsor their evening. But that’s just me.

Luvbug

August 26th, 2010
10:25 am

EPO – I agree that folks shouldn’t leech off folks and REQUIRE another person to fund their financial future. In college, I knew quite a few women who studied to be in non high earning professions, but when they spoke of their future, it always included a lifestyle outside of the income they would earn in their chosen profession. The only assumption I made was that they planned to marry well…and that they did.

Now, regarding meeting people who will open you up to new experiences (minimally implied on the passport example), I would love that. I like meeting people I have little experiences in common with. That’s there is probably my achilles heel.