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Natural Tapering Off

A caught an episode of the TBS show My Boys recently that addressed a common thing that happens with couples: The natural tapering off  aka The NTO.  You know how it is when the novelty has worn off (no pun intended) and the hot and heavy shifts to “lucky if it’s steady” stage?  Yeah, it creeps up on you pretty fast.

There really is no way to avoid The NTO because, well it’s physically impossible to maintain the same intensity and frequency.   Oh you probably have the very best intentions to!  It’s just that random things such schedule conflicts, varying libidos, work distractions, etc. all conspire against you.

What if it’s not just due to these things though?

If you have hit a tapering off period way too soon, should you be concerned?  What would you do if your desire to rip your date’s clothes off wanes soon after you two have become exclusive?

Do men notice when the natural tapering off stage begins?  I think women don’t realize it as quickly as men do.  What do you guys think?

How do you handle the dreaded NTO?

300 comments Add your comment

downtown chick

August 25th, 2010
10:32 am

downtown downtown. i live down there in a highrise. lol having trouble ocming up w/ a good screen name.

MELO

August 25th, 2010
10:35 am

Good morning folks!

tapering off..thats a funny choiuce of words!

the water is tapering off..when u switch the water tape off while watering the garden with ur garden hose….

tapering off…..?? nice symbolisim tho Diva….

so if my reading of some uall is right today,some of u didnt know that u cant rock him to bed monday to sunday,on the hour, every hour??

Really…u were just dishing it on the go…is it to keep him close or insecurity?? And u had to learn this??

I wish i were single again! :lol:

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
10:36 am

thought I was the only one who WAS NOT a fantasia fan…..that chic, I tell ya!!!!

downtown chick – that’s a good name…one’s name should have some semblance as to who they are….yours seem appropriate enough…

Sassy Me...Fire n Ice :-)

August 25th, 2010
10:37 am

if you as her father thought she was dressed inappropriately and that could send the wrong message to people, why would you let her leave the house that way? He’s a sleaze. I bet he has his hand out for her money too.

!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly what I was thinking Kimmie. If you knew your baby girl was doing something that could’ve put her in any sort of danger wouldn’t you as a parent show /tell her different? Isn’t that part of the responsibility/duty as a parent? And her WHOLE family had their hands out for some of her money….her brother Teeny needs a serious chin check so he can man up…

Kym

August 25th, 2010
10:37 am

@Swiss..I’m not buying what she is selling..I tried to buy it..but I am not buying it.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
10:38 am

Leggs, I agree about Fantasia not thinking about how what she did or tried to do would affect her child. Yeah life gets hard, I know because I have been there more than once, but as the title of the topic states it eventually tapers off. Sometimes that tapering off is you just finding a way to deal with those issues and for your kids alone sometimes keep you hanging on. It’s not all the time having the issues go away but just finding a way to endure and/or cope. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the environment or situation, but not PERMANENTLY like she “attempted” to do. Suicide is a permanently solution to a temporary problem.

I always say those that “attempt” suicide only want attention. One bullet usually gets the job done. All that other stuff, nigh they aren’t serious.

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
10:42 am

I can understand not being able to get with Fantasia’s voice – it’s an aquired taste. I’m not a fan either, I just like that song and another old one did.

There are a few voices I can’t really get with but I like a few of their songs. Patty Labelle, Brian McKnight and Monica come to mind.

It's me....lurker

August 25th, 2010
10:42 am

Kimmie – I am so not a fan of Monica’s voice either. Glad it’s not just me.

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
10:44 am

swiss – I am so done with both Tiger and Elin. I feel nothing for either of them – never have. Tiger made golf a little more interesting to watch, but that’s it. Elin – whatever! She’s still got it better off that 99.9% of the single moms out here.

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
10:49 am

Suicide is a selfish, cowardly act, that’s for sure. I do agree it was a cry for attention/help though with Fantasia. It’s something I can’t speak on because I realize everyone is not as strong as I feel I am. I’ve been so depressed that, while I did not want to end my life, I did just want to sleep and do nothing.

I don’t know.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
10:49 am

kimmie, one of my girl friend’s asked me how is it that I like Corrine Bailey Rae’s singing but not Fantasia? LOL Corrine Bailey has soul, but Fantasia sounds like she has a cold. LOL

Simple Man!!!!

August 25th, 2010
10:50 am

kimmie, It’s me….. Monica is a hood rat!!!LOL

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
10:51 am

Corrine Bailey has soul, but Fantasia sounds like she has a cold.

LOL – That’s a great way to put it!!

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
10:51 am

Elin ain’t shyt!!!! you can’t tell me she had no inkling about Tiger’s philandering ways; she was merely looking for the perfect escape route to call it quits. And what better excuse than having that mess all over t.v…By it being public knowledge she was able to get more in her settlement, and she has 2 living insurance policies to go with it….as “Jazzy One” used to say…..piece of tripe!

It's me....lurker

August 25th, 2010
10:53 am

Simple Man, I agree

i'm swiss™

August 25th, 2010
10:57 am

Kym / kimmie / 2Can… Yeah, I love the line, “money can’t buy happiness.” Maybe not, but it can buy a metric phluck-ton of other shyte…. :lol:

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
10:58 am

2CPTG – They were two pieces of tripe together then. I don’t feel sorry for either one. Both trash, just rich trash.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:00 am

Kimmie, I too understand that everyone handles the stresses of life differently. There were days that I felt like I was not going to make it. I didn’t want to go on. I remember many mornings waking up after only a few hours of sleep because I had worked late the night before at a second job. I would tired and frustrated. One day I told myself that I was done. I was not going to do it anymore. I said I was going to drop my boys off at my parents and just go. Never come back again. Then I went to wake them up to get dressed. After shaking off his sleepy stupor my oldest son became his playful self like he did every morning. Making funny faces and acting silly. That alone made me keep going.

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
11:01 am

oh, don’t get it twisted, ain’t no love lost for Eldrick punk azz, either….

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 25th, 2010
11:01 am

Fantasia has never been my cup of tea, I didn’t like her on idol.

@Melo, what would you do if you were single again?

MELO

August 25th, 2010
11:05 am

but Fantasia sounds like she has a cold

:lol: :lol:

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:05 am

2CPTG, I think also that she knew or even suspected way before it hit the media. Folks may say that she doesn’t deserve what she got in the settlement, but do you think she deserved what he did to her and their relationship. Whatever she got is just the price he had to pay.
He is good at what he does…golf that is…so he will recoup.

My mother used to say if you weren’t where you were not suppose to be you wouldn’t be in the trouble you are in.

blue - Expecting a Decision Today....

August 25th, 2010
11:13 am

i just dont get how you dont suspect/know your husand is sleeping with 20 somethinge other women? what exactly is going on with you that your that oblivious?

Simple Man!!!!

August 25th, 2010
11:14 am

IMO, Tiger never wantd to be married anyway… So to paraphrase that old Playa line… ” You don’t pay for sex, you pay those hoes to leave”!! and in this case that Hoe was Elin…….

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
11:17 am

Raqi….yeah she deserved what she got; damn athletes and celebrities kill me with that shyt; If you ain’t trynna come off no loot when it’s over, then dammit, don’t let it be over! I still think about that situation with Rae Carruth, how you gon’ kill ya baby mama ’cause you don’t wanna pay child support…dammit, wrap up!!!

Leggs

August 25th, 2010
11:23 am

@Raqi/kimmie all those who are strong ~ I think this is a crazy statement, but we hear it all the time “you’re too strong for your own good!” If I’m strong for myself and my family, am I suppose to wait on someone to help me along or am I to do what I’m suppose to do. Survival of the fittest, baby. Survival of the fittest. Fantasia is a weak, easily manipulated young woman learning the ropes. Instant fame can be a bytch and only the strong can handle it…look at Freddie Prince back in the day!

What she did was sacrafice her daughter’s dignity, her daughter’s legacy all with a few tears in her eyes but a lot of laughter. I have never seen anyone so happy after a suicide attempt. The timing leaves me SMH!

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:26 am

20+ women without any suspicion??? “Who’s making love to your old lady while you are out making love”.

MELO

August 25th, 2010
11:28 am

your husand is sleeping with 20 somethinge other women?

@blue??

he didnt….and he was(is) always away from home anyway. Then he has his handlers who can hide his shytt and run errands for him. Stevie Williams knew, he just wont say it coz a man dies by his shytt and not try involve or rub it to/on other men like sissy Kobe tried with Shaq after the rape incident.

I like Tiger and will alwasy like him and its good that this pest is gone. Now he can concentrate again on his golf game and not loosing the numero uno spot. It helps that I hate Phil Buckleson. :lol: He aint going to be number 1 either,not for long if he does.

@Fantasia
didnt want to end her lyfe..she wanted sympathy after her whoeness hit the media. Why do all these folks trip about stuff that happens in our neighborhods everyday.

Same with Tiger..who goes to a hoee_addiction clinic coz they like blow jays a lot?

@Melo, what would you do if you were single again?..in reference to topic??

@DD..i wld hook up with a chic that dont believe in tapersity(tapering off) :lol:

load up on viagra,cialis,men health supplements,energy drink..u name it and let her work on me as she likes…the but wld be,she wont be living with me.

I was copmmenting coz it surprised me that grown females here didnt realise that a relationship slows down….you wont be rabbiting every dame time and hour to be able to be called, u luv someone or someone luvs u.

kimmie

August 25th, 2010
11:28 am

blue – Not saying I believe her, but some folks are “oblivious” – the elevators don’t go all the way up to the top floor, if you know what I mean. Because it is very obvious that Tiger was a sloppy cheater, just by those voicemails and texts he sent. In fact, I DON’T believe her, because remember that stupid voicemail he left – “Hello, this is Tiger. I think Elin is suspicious, so change your voicemail”? It was something to that effect, so yeah she knew something was up.

Kym

August 25th, 2010
11:28 am

@Swiss..maybe now that its over and he will play better. And why now was life such a hell? You are living on this estate in what could be one of the richest address in the US of A..all the stuff you could want…you got the dude on 20 year plus lock cause you have kiddies..and you moved from being the nanny, to having your own nanny, and you are in hell? You right Swiss..money don’t make you happy..but it can put a helluva down payment on it.

Sassy Me...Fire n Ice :-)

August 25th, 2010
11:30 am

how you gon’ kill ya baby mama ’cause you don’t wanna pay child support…dammit, wrap up!!!

Yeah what he did was cold and callous….how you gone try kill your own seed out of selfishness. And as for the “wrapping up”, I wish alot of men would consider that and save themselves alot of money and grief.

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
11:31 am

fvck fantasia too! how coincidental it is that she attempts suicide all within weeks of her garbage reality show comin up for a new season, and the release of another album….what them shortys be sayin’, “hoe, slice yo’self!”

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:31 am

2CPTG, are you saying she deserved it because it’s to be expected in marrying an athlete and she should have known that?

Yeah killing the baby’s mother because you don’t want to pay for the care of the child is very horrific. It was in the news I think last year about the man that killed his own child because he wanted to get out of paying CS. The news report said that for the first couple of years of the child’s life he didn’t have any interactions with the child, then when the court got behind him he all of sudden wanted visitation. One visit away from the mother he kills the child. Dang it’s just money.

Kym

August 25th, 2010
11:34 am

@kimmie..if he was slipping he wanted to get caught.

i'm swiss™

August 25th, 2010
11:34 am

Kym — Yeah… every time I hear some rich MF-er make that statement, I think to myself, you must be one miserable MF’er, ‘cos I do believe I could be awfully d@mn happy with that bank account… :lol:

2CPTG©

August 25th, 2010
11:36 am

no, Raqi….I’m saying she deserves all the money she’s getting!!!

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:38 am

2CPTG Oh I misread.

Darnit, I thought you and I were about to have a good argument. LOL

blue - Expecting a Decision Today....

August 25th, 2010
11:38 am

in he!! cause she looks like an idiot in national media…but i think, with that settlement, i could make it work for me :)
killd the kid/mother to get out of child support? are you serious? 8O

Gemini and my name is For Real

August 25th, 2010
11:39 am

What up blog fam….

On topic: I believe women tapper off when they feel they have reached the finish line. Whew! Not to get him to marry me. Whew! Now to have kids. Whew! Now to get a house. Whew! Now to get my car. Whew! Now to get another kid. Whew! Now he gettin on my nerves.

Question for the blog ladies…. How much do you thing the whole “Wanting It All” mentality affects you as it relates to men. I had an impruto.. immprom… had unplanned conversation with a group of women last night about women “Wanting It All”.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:40 am

Yeah that Fantasia did could very well be a hook to get people wanting to buy into her show. Like I said had she really wanted to take herself out one bullet gets the job done.

Kym

August 25th, 2010
11:41 am

@Raqi for some men..that wallet is a lifeline. Every dollar taken is like watching the very soul drained from them..until they are only left this horrible shell of their former selves.

Dirty Diana ♠ Maybe, maybe not

August 25th, 2010
11:42 am

Melo, gotcha!

I agree with you. Shoot, growing up we had an adultress on our street…dude never married her. We also had some men that would cheat a lot too. This stuff is usual and folks get happy.

Leggs

August 25th, 2010
11:43 am

@Raqi ~ you know some are afraid of the sound the gun makes, some don’t like seeing the blood after slashing their wrists, so the next best thing to do is swallow a bottle of aspirin….yep, that will do the trick!

YESSHEISCUTE

August 25th, 2010
11:46 am

@ Leggs I agree about her not even considering her baby…..

I didn’t see the special but I don’t understand how someone can take their life b/c they feel it is in turmoil when they have a kid. At least make preparations for your kid to have a good life once you are gone….that is at the VERY least. I mean as a mother wouldn’t you want to make sure you can do everything you can to ensure they have a good life? If you want something done right you have to do it yourself. I just think that was very selfish. I have a friend that attempted committed suicide and she has a 5 year old son. She has a messed up life too but at some point you do have to stop being the victIM make some hard sacrifices and choices and be a victOR for your baby. I’m not a parent but I take care of myself and trust me that is enough.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:48 am

kimmie and Kym, not that any amount of cheating is acceptable, but I think Tiger got too comfortable and that’s when he started to slip.

My son likes to ride his skateboard and has learned some pretty neat tricks. He fell the other day and nearly busted his arse. He admitted that he had gotten too sure of himself. When the fear of falling (getting caught) leaves that usually when you trip.

Sassy Me...Fire n Ice :-)

August 25th, 2010
11:48 am

killd the kid/mother to get out of child support? are you serious?

Yeah he hired some guys to do it and unfortunately the mother died from her wounds(gun shots) but the baby survived. Now everybody involved is in prison.

L

August 25th, 2010
11:48 am

What if the guy is too feely touchy in the beginning, I mean Im very attractive to him & the chemistry is great but dont want things too happen too soon. Is this a sign he only wants one thing?

Gemini and my name is For Real

August 25th, 2010
11:49 am

I don’t feel sorry for anyone that kills or tries to kill themselves.

Nanny to multi-millionairest in 4yrs. That has to be a world record.

R♥qi

August 25th, 2010
11:49 am

Kym, yeah so much that they would kill their own child. Sad.

i'm swiss™

August 25th, 2010
11:49 am

“in he!! cause she looks like an idiot in national media…but i think, with that settlement, i could make it work for me”

You and me, both, blue… Matter of fact, for that kind of settlement, I do believe I could handle a chic not only publicly stepping out on me, but also announcing that she did so ‘cos my wang was whack & my breath stank:lol: