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Careful with those compliments

I know this won’t support that whole “women aren’t complicated” argument I’ve had going on here but I have to be honest: Women like compliments….however men have to be careful how they lodge those things at us.  We tend to dislike when men are not complimentary but we also get turned off when it’s insincere.

Now, in our defense, ladies, we have certainly heard crazy and dumb stuff some men say to women.  We generally can tell when a guy is gaming us to get our phone numbers for sport hook ups; we also know when a guy is genuinely impressed with us.  There are times when a compliment can go all wrong and you actually feel insulted.

As my friend Damon Young recently noted,  “how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.”  I couldn’t agree more.  Do men know that the type of compliments they offer can either sink or swim their chances with women?

How do men receive compliments?  Do you enjoy it when a woman pays you a compliment?  Should women be careful how they compliment you so that you feel flattered instead of ridiculed?

Can you think of the best compliment you ever received from someone?

402 comments Add your comment

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
12:30 pm

@blue ~ you’re right. I remember I use to stick the tip of my tongue out at the corner of my mouth when I was in deep thought. This guy asked me to stop doing that because it made his mind wander. I didn’t say anything because I was in :shock:

@it’s me ~ glad they were scared off before ransacking your home.

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
12:34 pm

“I remember I use to stick the tip of my tongue out at the corner of my mouth when I was in deep thought.”

Leggs, whay are you doing this to me??? LOL…

LURKER-1

August 23rd, 2010
12:34 pm

Melo since you mentioned it, for some reason, I get most compliments from nurses in the dr office. I like your shirt, I like your socks. Once, the nurse at the nursing home where my mom was living, asked how I was doing and I said not too good. She looked me up and down and said, you look good to me. Recently, I was at the dentist and his assistant was massaging my biceps as the dr was shooting me up. That felt pretty good :-) . I NEVER TAKE OFF MY RING!!

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
12:36 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: I’m sorry, just being honest on things I would do that I was naive toward the affect it had on others (LOL).

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
12:38 pm

What if she’s got a man? A husband? Older than you? Ugly?

@Lucinda..so ur qqstion is if a woman has a husband,she ugly,older than me is she phuckable??

hell ya..even Urself is phuckable…..

are u hitting on me?? :lol:

u give me a “ho compliement” and then u asking me if all those categories are phuckable…are u implying u fall in any of those categories??
except fo “ugly” and “fat”, I wld say u game and very phuckable indeed!!

what color panties u got on?

:lol: :lol; :lol:

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
12:39 pm

@Leggs – yeah seems to be the little absent minded things we dont even think about. i tend to bite my lip when my mind is wandering, that keeps getting me into trouble…

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
12:39 pm

Lurker WTF ? MassAging your bicepts and the dentist let that go on?? Hope s/he’s paid up the insurance policy

CoolShadow

August 23rd, 2010
12:42 pm

When I’m complimented by women, my responses are thankful and appreciative. But how I process the compliment depends on the person and context. When it’s a female that I’ve known for some time like a co-worker or female relative, it’s taken at face value and stops there. However, if complimented by a stranger, it throws me off because it’s seldom done to me by unknown females and completely unexpected. I usually take the compliment at face value, but sometimes wonder if there’s more to it.

And when the complimenting party is a stranger, it can be difficult at times to evaluate whether it’s simply a compliment or her courageous attempt to initiate the first move. If she’s direct then it’s evident that she’s interested but women seem to think their non-verbal cues are clearly and (should be) universally understood by every man—and that’s not always the case.

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
12:42 pm

Funny. I can see how biting the lip can have a man experience sexual, what’s the word Melo, ANGST! :lol: :lol:

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:42 pm

I get hit on more now that I am married. This one beautifully fine creole woman was a winner all the way.

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
12:44 pm

Melo you funny. You know I got a man so no game here.

Not fat or ugly or old either. Just wondering if you ho-y-ness has any limits..

If I were free, I’d hit on PR Feeling that Italian vibe…. :)

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
12:46 pm

See what I mean?

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
12:48 pm

Purp – I will put you On-call. ;-)

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
12:49 pm

@Leggs – Angst? lol. im told i do it when i smile too, so i dunno. dont realize im doing it most of the time. im sure Melo could find something interesting to say there :lol:

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
12:50 pm

@Lucinda…u only co-ho with the lighter shades..i get it!

If two cppled up pple feel it in them to co_ho..no problem with that.

Just wondering if you ho-y-ness has any limits..

those two I gave u(ugly and fat) as well as everybody else not giving me unnecessary compliments…..esp single females.

some men u can just tell they arent in ur lane,u single females.

Keep ur comps to urself…Unless!

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:50 pm

running my hand in my hair while looking at Lucinda “How you doin’” :)

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:51 pm

Walking now with one arm aroun Lucinda and the other around Slim, Looking over my shoulder at Melo and Swiss “Later guys!”

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:52 pm

I’m going to need a bigger horse.

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
12:52 pm

@PR. You married so I’m not hitting on you, don’t plAy that.

But, if you weren’t ….

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:53 pm

I will say that the flirting and etc on here my wife benefits from. When the ladies give the guys compliments on here or in real life it makes me go home with my ego boosted and I just get it on with her since I am on a high. LOL

Sassy Me :-)

August 23rd, 2010
12:53 pm

Just wondering if you ho-y-ness has any limits..

:shock:

comedy……

On the serious, Leggs sorry to hear about your home break in and glad you’re pressing charges.

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:55 pm

Lucinda, I know you aren’t hitting on Carlito, he’s married. But my name is Purple Rain….LOL

LURKER-1

August 23rd, 2010
12:56 pm

Lucinda, at first I didn’t want to believe it but it has happen twice over a year period. His other assistants don’t do that. To be honest, I just think she’s one of those sweet and naive young ladies.
She is 37 and we both have a 25yr old daughters but I am 53.

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:56 pm

I would not stroke Sassy, I might fall head over heals and lose my mind from the goodness of it all. LOL

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
12:57 pm

Note to self… Work on my game so I can be a “MAC” like Purple rain….

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
12:57 pm

PR. Guess no reason not to walk out with you… you speak Italian?

Melo. Nah, like dark chocolate, too. Even had a man from the motherland once :)

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:58 pm

Lurker, she had a child at 12? She is 37 and you are 53 and both of you all have 25 year olds? Heck, if you were to romp go with her 25 year old daughter her mom has been in business since age 12 alteast so she is worn out, then again it would be kind of creepy have sex with a 25 year old and you actually have a 25 year old

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
12:58 pm

Purp – you are on it today I see…speaking of Purple, I watched Purple Rain. And I already purified myself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. ;-)

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:59 pm

Lucinda, I speak it better than I do English. :)

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
12:59 pm

Slim, come get wet. :)

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:00 pm

Simple Man, when the waves hit I ride it. I think this is a one in five year occurence for me. :) The blog ladies are just giving me blue balls until I get home. LOL

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
1:04 pm

Even had a man from the motherland once

@Lucinda? see..lets see whatchu gon do when that light skinned guy’s wang dont do the job…..

u prepping to holla at me later..ok! :lol:

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
1:04 pm

PR. I melt at the sound of your voice

Kym

August 23rd, 2010
1:06 pm

Good Afternoon All,

I didn’t read all the comments..but I agree with those who stated we all like a compliment male or female..just make sure it is sincere compliment. Any compliment begining with the slang word “Shawty”..yeahhh that is not going to work.

@Leggs..sorry to read about the punks in your neighborhood..but you are a good one..cause I am pretty sure I would have blessed the mama out good fashion..talking about her baby boy is a good boy..He is not a good boy..he is a bad thief and she is not trying to convince you of that joker’s goodness..she is trying to convince herself.

@Slim sorry to hear about your loss.

@Purple Rain..I have two words for you..Brett Favre..

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
1:06 pm

“…makes me go home with my ego boosted…” Are you sure it’s boosted and not full ready to erupt! Sorry, couldn’t resist!

LURKER-1

August 23rd, 2010
1:07 pm

PR my bad, she told me she was 15 when she had her first child. 15 +25 = 40 wow. She has a total of four kids, atleast she is married. Yeah, when I’m at the gym and I see all those twenty something girls, I keep telling myself, they’re around my daughter age. I just don’t see how men my age are trying to hit on young ladies half their age. But my daughter tell me it happens often to her. SICK!!

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
1:07 pm

Sei un uomo molto bello, PR

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
1:08 pm

‘Slim, come get wet’

Purp – I’m already a step ahead of you…now I just need some drying off. ;-)

One sort of inappropriate compliment if you want to call it a compliment was a guy was like Ohhh, you’re Fun sized… crickets…crickets

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:09 pm

Kym, I thought Brett was not going to come back but T. Jackson played well yesterday.

Lucinda, come whisper something in my ear.

Melo, skin tone has nothing to do with wang slangin. I was told that for a fact. LOL

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
1:10 pm

@SassyMe ~ thank you.

@Kym ~ while she kept saying her boy was good Friday afternoon, again Saturday and Sunday when she kept calling I too thought she’s trying to convince herself not me!

As much as I point to the jailhouse whenever we pass Memorial Drive, lil leggs asked if she can come to court with me. Must admit I’m seriously considering keeping her out of school and take her with me. Nothing like a child witnessing someone ruin their own life.

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:13 pm

Lucinda, sei una donna molto bella te stesso. È meglio smettere prima che ti togli da qui.

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
1:14 pm

PR. Ti voglio

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:14 pm

Leggs, I say you should take her to court with you and she can witness the other cases going on. I will say that the court system down here is really soft of people. Those kis will probably only get probation.

Kym

August 23rd, 2010
1:15 pm

@Leggs..don’t take her to the court. I know its a learning experience..but the Metro court system(Fulton Dekalb Gwinnett Clayton)..has all manner of foolishness going on. I swear the ignorance..if she is not in need of the scared straight approach..then don’t. Let her watch court tv if she is curious…IMO of course.

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:16 pm

Lucinda, che cosa vuoi?

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
1:16 pm

I say take her because one day she will start dating and she needs to know that “bad” boys come in all shapes and sizes not just thouse who “look” the part.

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
1:19 pm

I love your second point, PR, but Kym, you too have a good reason I hadn’t thought of. I watch Disorder in the Courts on tv and anything can go wrong on any given day.

No, she isn’t in need of the “scared straight” approach. Excellent point, Kym!

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
1:22 pm

Melo, skin tone has nothing to do with wang slangin

@PR..its not wskin tone but pedigree..darker shades have more going on for them…

they fill the cup better..fuller…scrap cobs more efficiently..all things being equal.

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
1:22 pm

Melo you know my man got mad skillz,

Kym

August 23rd, 2010
1:24 pm

@PR..metro courts are over–over–over–over crowded with case dockets. Especially on the criminal side..the atmosphere is so depressing..and really some of the jokers going in are so..non-chalant about being locked up. We need to go back to the old west..or adopt some stricter laws..start chopping off some hands and feet and folks might think twice before taking someone stuff.