Careful with those compliments
I know this won’t support that whole “women aren’t complicated” argument I’ve had going on here but I have to be honest: Women like compliments….however men have to be careful how they lodge those things at us. We tend to dislike when men are not complimentary but we also get turned off when it’s insincere.
Now, in our defense, ladies, we have certainly heard crazy and dumb stuff some men say to women. We generally can tell when a guy is gaming us to get our phone numbers for sport hook ups; we also know when a guy is genuinely impressed with us. There are times when a compliment can go all wrong and you actually feel insulted.
As my friend Damon Young recently noted, “how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.” I couldn’t agree more. Do men know that the type of compliments they offer can either sink or swim their chances with women?
How do men receive compliments? Do you enjoy it when a woman pays you a compliment? Should women be careful how they compliment you so that you feel flattered instead of ridiculed?
Can you think of the best compliment you ever received from someone?
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402 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:14 am
kimmie, I have you to see or hear of an experience when a guy got downright rude because a woman gave him a compliment. LOL
Luvbug
August 23rd, 2010
11:14 am
Melo – Strong guess is ’sleep with’.
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:15 am
you means yet
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
11:17 am
Purple – You said ulterior motive, that’s what I was talking about. Again, if a woman is rude, it may have been your approach, if not, it’s her issue, not yours.
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:18 am
My Doberman and Rott are very playful but trained well. If I am angry or if Julia is upset they are on guard with whatever it is bothering us. I swear if they are in the house or outside they hear everything. If someone comes close to our property line they are ready to commence to taking them down unless I am acting calm. They like the little guy who waters my yard and cuts the grass after they have seen him interact with me and Julia. Now when he comes over he is fine but if he brings his little friends to help him with the yard they go crazy and I have to put them up. My dogs eat live and play for free, all they have to do is protect the house and the wife while I am away.
MELO
August 23rd, 2010
11:18 am
Is there anybody you wouldn’t do??
@Luvbug?
so the qstion was meant to be “Is there anybody you wouldn’t sleep with??
be4 I answer, Is Lucinda a female or male coz i have to give out a sex appropriate but truthful answer?(esp to that kinda of a qstion)
Leggs
August 23rd, 2010
11:20 am
@kimmie ~ that’s my premise as well. They can “snap” on any given Sunday. It’s their nature. That’s why I don’t understand people who sleep with the dog on the bed with them. The dog could wake up at any moment, c.o.c.k his head to the side thinking “I think I will take a bite out of my master’s head!”
Lil leggs has a cat and I think that cat will jump and claw me in my face any day now.
SlimSeeker
August 23rd, 2010
11:21 am
Simple Man – well I think Mr. Bullet appreciates me just as much as I appreciates it because w/o me, (and batteries of course) it – oops I meant he, wouldn’t be anything(operable).
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:22 am
I am not excusing their behavior, I am not rude to women. But if you open the door and she gives you that “look” or whatever random situation there is no excuse for even thinking their is an ulterior motive. yes it’s the not door holder/opener. The point I was making is that I have yet heard a situationYin which a guy thinks that there was an ulterior motive. Guys do not automatically think that a woman is trying to get in his pants if she does or says something nice. Maybe MELO. LOL But most women have a guard up and think way past the stitaution. Either A) he is trying to “get some” or B) She goes home wondering if the guy really likes her and will she see him at the grocer again etc…LOL, don’t act like it doesnt happen
It's me....lurker
August 23rd, 2010
11:23 am
Melo
Is there anybody you wouldn’t do??
Dead or Alive?
Bwah ha ha ha…I kid I kid
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:24 am
Leggs, a pet is a direct reflection of the owners care for that animal. Some people should not own certain types of animals. And never ever treat an animal like a person especially certain breeds, those animals will act out more times than not.
MELO
August 23rd, 2010
11:25 am
@Leggs/Kimmie??
so why arent u answering my qstion but jostling with PR on a related??
Was that woman in my example hitting on me?
SlimSeeker
August 23rd, 2010
11:27 am
Leggs – my Rott used to sleep in the bed with me until his azz got too dayum big…hogging all the covers, sprawled all over the bed, having crazy dreams kicking me in the middle of the night…Oh hellz naw! LOL!
I do have a cat that I’ve had for about 6/7 years. He is pretty cool but every now and then he will bite yo azz just to keep you on your toes. Just like a child, I will whoop my cats behind if he steps out of line or put him on punishment (solitary confinement) lolol – oh and he is declawed in the front…not the back legs tho
Simple Man!!!!
August 23rd, 2010
11:27 am
God I LOVE enlightened women!!!!
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
11:31 am
Guys do not automatically think that a woman is trying to get in his pants if she does or says something nice.
Purple you really believe that? No guys at all think that? Okay. I have some swamp land I’m looking to sell but haven’t had any takers. You interested?
Some guys, and I say SOME, will take a smile as an invitation, much less a compliment. Just because you aren’t that way doesn’t mean some dudes aren’t.
If a woman frowns or reads all you mentioned into everyday politeness, again, she has a problem or maybe hasn’t been taught any better. Nothing to do with you.
And no, I haven’t had a guy to frown or be rude to me when I complimented him, but I have had some to think I was trying to flirt or get with them. I just laugh it off and keep it moving if they couldn’t see it as it was intended – simple human kindness and nothing more.
Leggs
August 23rd, 2010
11:31 am
@Melo ~ sorry, I had to go back to see what you were talking about. It sounds like she was complimenting you as an icebreaker, but may have really wanted to give you her number if you shown any interest. The body language in your example was invasive at best. How does one chest almost touch your chest!
When I compliment, I compliment to say something nice to a man, not to hit on him. If I wanted to hit on him, he’ll know by my “come hither” look of authority (LOLOLOL) all the while beckoning him with my little finger!!!!
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:33 am
kimmie, give me an example other than saying it has happened in that swamp area you are trying to sell me. Or can anyone give me an homest example of them complimenting a guy and he just acted rude or thought you were tying to “bed” him due to you giving him that compliment.
Peace
August 23rd, 2010
11:34 am
Please dont pay Stanley Q any attention because thats obvious what he wants to be paid attention, seems like he’s not getting enough from his so-called girlfriend.
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:35 am
Next time a woman compliments me I am jst going to say “I’m married” and walk off. LOL and be rude while doing it. LOL
blue - Waiting.....
August 23rd, 2010
11:35 am
@Melo -yes, she was hitting on you. shoulda just squeezed a boob and asked her if the exam door locked….
@Leggs – i grew up with Rotts and Black Lab/Chow – very protective dogs but teh most playful things ever. i do believe there is some truth to the breed of the dog, but that is tempered by how they are trained and treated in their home. i trained all our dogs, they were yard dogs that rotected our house, the people in it, and anyone we “approved” . would spend many days sitting on the porch with my Lab/Chow watching the neighbors and she never growled or anything tillthey set a foot over the sidewalk seam to our path. even then she’d look to me for affirmation. just got to train them right! great animals!
now cats…thats a whole other story…sneaky little b@st@ards…
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
11:35 am
Melo – You don’t strike me as a dummy, unless you have someone ghostwriting for you every day on the blog!LOL!! You can read body language, you know when someone is flirting with you. You men kill me with trying that “deer in the headlights” mess – that tie compliment was incidental to the flirting going on! Nothing to do with the random compliment a person may give to someone in passing.
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:36 am
See if a woman tells me “You smell nice” and I respond with “I bet you taste nice” that is not me hitting on her or flirting with her. I just gave an honest opinion. LOL
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:37 am
kimme, us men haven’t killed you yet…you love us, you just dont like to give the majority of us ANY credit at all. LOL (yes I am picking on you today)
Dan - simply...
August 23rd, 2010
11:42 am
Off topic:
I get “hazing”, but if life ain’t broke me, you really think you can? People are funny.
SlimSeeker
August 23rd, 2010
11:43 am
‘Next time a woman compliments me I am jst going to say “I’m married” and walk off’
Purp – you’re crazy…lol Reminds of the time this creepy looking dude gave me a compliment at the gas station. He just kept standing there staring at me…but after he gave his compliment he didn’t leave. Finally I guess he builds up his courage to ask me my name. I told him it was Stranger. LOL! Then i was like, what are you trying to sell me…he claimed he wasn’t selling anything but he wanted to take me to dinner. I said, well the person i’m dating may not like that too much. So he went on to say, oh…bf huh? Well if either of you are in the market to buy a car, here’s my card. lol
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
11:43 am
Purple, I told you I’ve never had a guy to be rude. But yes, I have had men to mistake a compliment or a smile as a sign that, in the least, I am flirting. It’s a common occurance, but I don’t stress over it. No big deal. Some women deal with it by being rude because maybe they just don’t feel like dealing with it. I don’t roll that way, but to each their own. I’m a woman, dealing with men on a different level than, you, a straight man. How can you make the blanket statements you do? Come on!
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:43 am
Dan, how are you being “hazed”?
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:44 am
Ican make blanket statements because I know what buttons to push to get the women in arms. LOL
MELO
August 23rd, 2010
11:47 am
You can read body language, you know when someone is flirting with you
@Kimmie??
dont assume things..coz us men dont know everything and some of uall “come-on” ways..
Raqi broke down the hair flip come-on while chic is looking at as one example, some other day..an example of one flirt mode I personally didnt know off.
call me a dummy then!
So why dontuall break down other female “come-ons” disguised as comps??
@blue/Leggs??
I kinda thoght that altho i figured she was just being too brazen,doing it in the doc’s office.
Beautiful
August 23rd, 2010
11:48 am
gmorn beauties!
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
11:50 am
kimme, us men haven’t killed you yet…you love us, you just dont like to give the majority of us ANY credit at all. LOL (yes I am picking on you today)
Purple – LOL!! Hey, I absolutely LOVE men, and I give credit where it’s due – to the vast majority of the men I come across! They have some sense! It’s the small percentage I go back and forth with with you about!
Now how about giving us LADIES some credit?
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
11:51 am
Kimmie, dinner was great and the house looks very clean, I give you credit for that. LOL Now my shoes have a little blemish that you missed.
AmazonRed™
August 23rd, 2010
11:57 am
Dan, how are you being “hazed”?
Probably in his head. Life ain’t broke any of us who are still standing right? So you aren’t special…
LURKER-1
August 23rd, 2010
11:58 am
LEGGS, I share the same sentiments as the previous bloggers. When I read your post Friday, I was hoping it was a false alarm. I’ve had several friends whose home was broken into. For one, not only did they clean out their closets but took the food out the frig. It was awhile before my friend wife could move back into her own house.
kimmie
August 23rd, 2010
12:00 pm
Melo – There are certain come-ons that are common, but each woman’s style is different. All up on you with the chest is brazen though, you shouldn’t have any questions about that!
Leggs
August 23rd, 2010
12:02 pm
“…now cats…thats a whole other story…sneaky little b@st@ards…”
Too freaking funny! Yes, but this time (3rd), we now have a very sweet affectionate cat. But, they do like to take nips at you every so often.
@blue ~ I hear labs are very good dogs. When lil leggs goes off to college I think I will get a dog. My cat trembled throughout the entire rest of the day.
@Melo ~ I wasn’t aware I was doing this as a “come on”, but I use to rub my legs a lot. I always sit with my legs crossed and I use to rub them while I talked. This was pointed out to me.
Dan - simply...
August 23rd, 2010
12:04 pm
@PR
It’s work isht. Nothing too serious
i'm swiss™
August 23rd, 2010
12:05 pm
“Sometimes I wish it was appropriate to slap a man.”
Actually, ARed, I kinda like that sort of thing…
Thank you, mistress, may I have another?
It's me....lurker
August 23rd, 2010
12:06 pm
Leggs – Earlier this year my house was burglarized. Thank the good Lord the idiots ran back out. I guess they couldn’t get the alarm to shut off so they snatched the key panel out of the wall….not knowing that’s not what shuts the alarm off. IDIOTS
AmazonRed™
August 23rd, 2010
12:07 pm
It's me....lurker
August 23rd, 2010
12:07 pm
MY 12:06 was to Lurker-1 11:58….I could have very well missed pertinent details. I haven’t gone back to read anything.
MELO
August 23rd, 2010
12:11 pm
I always sit with my legs crossed and I use to rub them while I talked
@Leggs??
“look at these rump and round chocolate leggs…u want them?”
just as well u crossed ur leggs…..
skirt wearing female, sitting down with leggs wide open,red/white nikkers visible and thick pubs in a thick bunch, forming cat like whiskers on each side of nikkers means “girl u easy lay !”
blue - Waiting.....
August 23rd, 2010
12:13 pm
@Melo – some women are like that, brazen as all he!!, half the thrill is seeing if she’ll get caught. some women are more low key. there are all different types of us out there…
@Leggs – I think the ? should be what dont they take as a come on? i was told that putting my fingers in my hair and pulling it back when it starts to fall in my face is a come on. really?
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
12:15 pm
Slim do you need my services againsince you are single?
Dan, Keep your head up.
Ared, Hello
AmazonRed™
August 23rd, 2010
12:16 pm
Hey there Purple Rain! How goes it?
Lucinda
August 23rd, 2010
12:16 pm
Melo
“do” as in ph**ck, that’s what I meant. Just seems you got a lot of man ho qualities..
And I am female, isn’t name give away? Plus you’ve seen comments about my man… so
Simple Man!!!!
August 23rd, 2010
12:18 pm
“I always sit with my legs crossed and I use to rub them while I talked.” Hmmmmmmmm …..Yeah, that will do it!!!
MELO
August 23rd, 2010
12:25 pm
@Lucinda…oh,ok..monday fog!
so back to u qstion:”Is there anybody you wouldn’t phuck??”
sure…for starters,if her body is so big suggesting to me that it may take a cpple of minutes be4 i actually locate the exact GPS of her cootie, i will pass..wont even start a convo.
I got “man-ho qualities”?
Awwww,thank u very much for the compliment!
Coming from u,I will gladly take them comps!
Purple Rain
August 23rd, 2010
12:29 pm
Amazon, it’s going as the crow flies……straight.
Lucinda
August 23rd, 2010
12:30 pm
That’s starters, what else? What if she’s got a man? A husband? Older than you? Ugly?