accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Careful with those compliments

I know this won’t support that whole “women aren’t complicated” argument I’ve had going on here but I have to be honest: Women like compliments….however men have to be careful how they lodge those things at us.  We tend to dislike when men are not complimentary but we also get turned off when it’s insincere.

Now, in our defense, ladies, we have certainly heard crazy and dumb stuff some men say to women.  We generally can tell when a guy is gaming us to get our phone numbers for sport hook ups; we also know when a guy is genuinely impressed with us.  There are times when a compliment can go all wrong and you actually feel insulted.

As my friend Damon Young recently noted,  “how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.”  I couldn’t agree more.  Do men know that the type of compliments they offer can either sink or swim their chances with women?

How do men receive compliments?  Do you enjoy it when a woman pays you a compliment?  Should women be careful how they compliment you so that you feel flattered instead of ridiculed?

Can you think of the best compliment you ever received from someone?

402 comments Add your comment

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
10:18 am

@Leggs – “you don’t know me very well and I’m not sure if you know what an oxymoron is, but you can’t use “good boy” and “robbed me” in the same sentence. ^5, lol. so sorry you went thru this. our house was robbed last year, and it left us all a bit shook up. had mr.blue sleeping on the couch with his gun for a bit talking about “i wish they would”…no brick they just kicked in my front door. never caught em tho, just had to replace all my stuff. Flad you got it all back :)
@Slim – sorry about your uncle followed by mr.not-sure-what-i-wanna-talk-about. chin up, sunshine on the other side. just join me in complimenting Stanley —
@Stanley – you sure do bring a laugh to a Monday morning!

Dan - simply...

August 23rd, 2010
10:19 am

@Stanley

Like a compliment, sometimes it’s as simple as ‘tone’ as to how things are taken.

While your attempts to “help” may be sincere, the tone with which you posted belied that intent. Ex:

“Girl I’ll drank your bath water” may sound like a sincere compliment of a woman’s beauty, however the tone may such that she’s not accepting of it.

I’m not trying to regulate, just throwing in my 2pinnies.

@Leggs

She wouldn’t want to bring that child round me after he broke in my crib….that’s permission to kick him in his chest

DJ Sniper

August 23rd, 2010
10:19 am

Leggs, it does trip me out when parents of kids like this use that “but he’s such a good kid” line when their child does something like this. I will give those parents props for owning up to their son’s mistake instead of defending him and acting like he didn’t do anything wrong like some parents do.

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:19 am

Simple Man – Remember that day the dudes were having their “whinefest” on here – I think that was your first day blogging? And you asked ME if I was the one having problems? :lol:

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:21 am

*playing catch up*

Maybe its me, but it sounds like your guy is laying the ground work for a quick getaway!!! Any minute now you are gonna get the “Its not you, its me” or “I just need to make sure I can give you what you need” speech……

This is pretty much what happened to me and my guy. Some of my guy friends did think I should stick it out. But I couldn’t. There are so many guys who meet a girl and are SURE that they want to be with her. I deserve to have that as well. And not be lingering in doubt and hope.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:21 am

Leggs – Those boys should be added to the Worlds Dumbest Criminal’s Show…how do you rob your neighbor and hope to get away with it…where dey do dat at? That mother needs to get a grip and snap out of denial for the behavior of her son. He needs discipline. Is the father in the home with them also?

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:24 am

“Daaaammmnnn Girl! You look good enough to F*** on film”

Yep, that’s an example of what not to say

I’m sayin!

Sometimes I wish it was appropriate to slap a man. :lol:

Luvbug

August 23rd, 2010
10:27 am

I could stand to compliment guys a lot more often.

The after affect of complimenting a guy can be kind of awkward at times because some guys seem a little confused by it. No matter how the guy takes it, I only say it if I mean it. As others have said…a simple ‘thank you’ is a good response.

Leggs – I’m glad you got your stuff back. Maybe a neighborhood meeting is in order. Just curious, how are their parents?? Did they (parents/robbers) apologize??

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:27 am

Those boys should be added to the Worlds Dumbest Criminal’s Show…how do you rob your neighbor and hope to get away with it…where dey do dat at?

I mean really? And those mama’s are usually in on it. She didn’t say ANYTHING when her house had a whole bunch of extra inventory.

We had a neighborhood thief. And the mother lied about her son and his whereabouts when the neighbors came looking for his ass. They were renters so they got the boot!

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:28 am

Thanks for all the condolences folks :cry:

‘There are so many guys who meet a girl and are SURE that they want to be with her. I deserve to have that as well. And not be lingering in doubt and hope’

@ARed – Yeah, that’s how I feel. It’ll phase itself out…He told me he tends to push the folks he dates away when feelings start growing. I guess he didn’t expect to begin to feel the way he does. Oh well.

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
10:28 am

“Daaaammmnnn Girl! You look good enough to F*** on film” always wanted someone to say that to me…..

i dont really get the point tho, of stuff like that. i mean what was he hoping would happen, she’d hand him a card with her number and address and say meet me at 9, and bring a camera? now he just looks like an idiot, and any woman whos heard about him wont talk to him either…

Luvbug

August 23rd, 2010
10:30 am

Leggs – Disregard my question. I’m catching up and you’ve already answered.

DJ Sniper

August 23rd, 2010
10:32 am

In regards to the guy who told the girl she looked good enough to do on film: Somewhere, there was a woman who responded positively to such foolishness.

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:33 am

She didn’t say ANYTHING when her house had a whole bunch of extra inventory.

Amred – This is something I have NEVER understood! I mean, my parents were suspicious if we had an extra paper clip they know they didn’t buy for us, much less tv’s and stuff!

Yeah, them mamas & daddies are in on it!

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:34 am

i mean what was he hoping would happen, she’d hand him a card with her number and address and say meet me at 9, and bring a camera?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:35 am

DJ – Read the last paragraph of my 9:34.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:39 am

‘my parents were suspicious if we had an extra paper clip they know they didn’t buy for us’

kimmie – that’s how my mom was. I’ll never forget when my sister stole some of the teachers colored chalk from class. When my mom noticed it and questioned my sis about it, she lectured her first about stealing, whooped dat azz, then made her take the chalk back to the teacher telling her what she did and apologize. That was a lesson i witnessed and didn’t have to experience for myself…bc if mom tore dat butt up like that over some chalk, hell if i was going to try to top that. :lol:

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:40 am

@SimpleMan ~ “…but that place was hoochie central…” WOW!!! Not surprised. I’ve been 2x and the last time I was there there was a scantily clad woman at the bar and 2 men vying for her attention buying her drinks. After she became plastered and was touched inappropriately, she made a drunken scene and was carried out of the bldg.

@SlimSeeker ~ I love Smoking Gun’s Dumbest Criminals. Absolutely hysterical. Stay strong over the passing of your uncle!

@Luvbug ~ both parents at home. They were heartbroken and sorry that their child was involved. She told the cops that the younger brother would always say that I was nice and gave him odd jobs around my house to do, cut the shrubs, sweep the garage, mow the grass, etc. And then his dumb older brother goes and rob me.

@ARed ~ I swear it came to mind that they could be neighborhood fences…that’s how I think. There garage was full of nasty looking stuff! I just purchased my tv 3 months ago.

It's me....lurker

August 23rd, 2010
10:41 am

Elijahman if you’re reading this…aaahhhh you’re so sweet. I left early Friday and was just reading over Friday’s blog.
I’m loving you’re Ode/Want Ad to Lady Lurker. Boy you better stop

It’s Me…..Lurker…..How are you doing with your grown, cute and sophisticated self?
This is for you……. YES it is LADY LURKER….
Lady Lurker….You seek a grown, intelligent man who knows what he wants and treats you like a lady, because of those thoughts (You have my attention, Now What) well it my turn to make sure you know that ( I am ready to meet the one).. and yes Lady Lurker you will not have to worry if ( I am Off the Market and if I am going to act like it) because you are so special it is my honor to go off the market and wait for our luv magic to be created. Although I work a lot, you will not have to worry about a career affecting our luv life, because you will become my career and I plan on putting a lot of time and effort in succeeding in this career. Their will (Not be too much Mystery) because I will put it all on the table so I can shared something special with a grown sophisticated lady Lurker…. ;Wink:

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:41 am

Yeah, that’s how I feel. It’ll phase itself out…He told me he tends to push the folks he dates away when feelings start growing. I guess he didn’t expect to begin to feel the way he does. Oh well.

Well, I’m sorry anyway. We Slim Goodies indeed have to stick together so watch out world!

Maybe it’s time for you to pull Omega man off the bench. :lol:

It's me....lurker

August 23rd, 2010
10:41 am

Now, don’t be posting this same ad to another lady or blog…lol

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:42 am

blue/Amred – I think some dudes say stupid mess like that for shock value, not because, like DJ said in his 10:32, somebody actually had a positive reaction to it in the past. For some twisted reason, they like to see the look on the women’s faces, the reaction they get. :lol:

Luvbug

August 23rd, 2010
10:42 am

Leggs – Do you trust the Dad in your home repairing your wall?? I’m not sayin…I’m jus sayin.

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
10:44 am

@kimmie – yes indeed, there was no brining home anything that they had not paid for. and if they asked where i got it, and i tried the whole “so-and-so gave it to me”, we were going to so-and-so house to check. if my story and theirs differed, that was my @ss right then and there. i agree, how did they not know all that stuff was there?

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:44 am

Yeah Leggs, if she didn’t bring her sons by their ears to confess and apologize and do your house work for a year…then her ass knew about it…or at least looked the other way. I mean, even if they hid the stuff in their rooms, that juice was sitting up there in the fridge!

It's me....lurker

August 23rd, 2010
10:45 am

Today’s topic: I like compliments and have no problem giving. But I too am totally turned off by something said just to be talking, no meaning, dumb and insincere

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:46 am

‘Maybe it’s time for you to pull Omega man off the bench’

Insert evil laugh here —-> :evil: :lol: :mrgreen:

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:48 am

@SlimSeeker ~ if he tends to push people away he’s dating once feelings start to grow, why again is he dating???

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:49 am

Ared – It will take a minute to get that chocolate out of my system tho ;-) :lol:

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
10:49 am

Morning folks!

@Leggs,sorry to hear that.

@Slim..i think i told u my premonition so u were prepped.

On topic!

I will take a compliment and thank you…..and I will offer one to her if I think the person deserves it.

But ladies,when are u hitting on somebody and not just complimenting them?

This one time,I had my doc’s nurse,compliemnt me on my tie..and her chest is almost on me,as im sitting in the chair,and shes leaning towards me, taking my vitals. Then she waxes lyrically on and on about her impression of people wearing such…..

It was nice hearing that but i kinda felt like telling her,”Ms,so when do u get off so we can get this thang popping?” :lol:

I restrained my self but honestly, i thoght she was thinking of me hitting a home run on her cobs.

So whatchuall say??

When are uall hitting on somebody,but coming to him like its a comp??

Be honest now!! :lol:

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
10:50 am

Hey all.
Wondering why compliments seemed focused on the physical. What about compliments about character or behavior ? Those get much more play with me be because then I know somebody has been paying attention and thinking about what’s important. Not to say I don’t want to hear that I look nice from time to time, but rather hear something else.

As for neighbor boys break in, at least mama is making some effort to do the right thing.

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:52 am

Ared – It will take a minute to get that chocolate out of my system tho

Girl…truer words have never been spoken. :cry:

Lucinda

August 23rd, 2010
10:53 am

Melo
Is there anybody you wouldn’t do??

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:55 am

@Leggs – I asked his azz that same question. He said he didn’t know. And they say chicks are crazy! :roll: So I was like you just keep having a continuous cycle of Boy meets girl…boy and girl hangout…girl begins to like boy…boy start flaking out…girl wonders what the hellz is wrong with boy…boy pushes away even more…girl gets fed up & moves on

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
10:56 am

SlimSeeker @ 10:49… My dad used to tell me and my brothers…” The fastest way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else”…. :D

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:57 am

@Luvbug ~ I thought about that too. My contractor came over and put the plywood up over the window and I think I’m going to let him fix the wall. I realize the father wants to help, but the will isn’t a big a deal as my window. $225 to repair the window, $500 deductible on home insurance policy so I won’t be filing a claim, and I refuse to come out of pocket on this. Fix my window and forget about the wall.

“I mean, even if they hid the stuff in their rooms, that juice was sitting up there in the fridge!” RIGHT!!

@MLB’s ~ how do you feel with a strange woman compliments YOU?

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
10:59 am

“how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.” …….repeats “and the type of woman you’re complimenting”….Some women can not take a compliment without thinking there is an ulterior motive. I compliment as I see fit I am not obligated to give them, but if you act with a foul attitude when I give you one, that would be the last.

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
11:01 am

Is there anybody you wouldn’t do??

@L’vbug?

“do” as in “phluckk”??

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
11:02 am

@Lucinda not Luvbug

sorry

Purple Rain

August 23rd, 2010
11:02 am

Leggs, I have two trained dogs(doberman and rott), I leave them inside when I am gone to work and outside when I am home. Maybe you should get a dog.

If I am complimented I say thank you and usually give that person a parting greeting of the day. “Thank You, have a good afternoon” etc

Luvbug

August 23rd, 2010
11:03 am

Melo Lucinda asked you that one.

But regarding your followup question…what else could ‘do’ mean?? LOL

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
11:07 am

how i take the compliment depends on what is said, how its said, and who says it. if a gentleman opens the door for me and says “allow me, i always open the door for a beautiful lady” i’ll smile, say “thank you, have a nice day”. if dude walks up with the “yo, shawty, you know i got the door for your fine @ss”, im walking thru the door and away as quickly as possible.

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
11:08 am

I am so fearful of rotts! I know they can smell my fear so I don’t go around any! If any of my friends own them, I’ll have to meet them outside. I couldn’t go in. I believe I’m scared of all dogs, except the tiny loud yipper yappers!

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
11:08 am

Simple Man – I can see a dad telling his son that…but not my cup of tea to hump random dizzle all in the name of a ‘break-up’…if my heart isn’t in it, it’s really like having a papsmear for me…disconnected, looking up at the ceiling waiting for it to be over. I would have more of a connection with Mr. Bullet than some new dizzle. :lol:

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
11:09 am

Some women can not take a compliment without thinking there is an ulterior motive.

Purple – But that’s their issue, not yours. There are some men that think that as well. Hey, I said you look nice, keep it moving, I’m not booking a hotel room, alright?LOL!!

2CPTG©

August 23rd, 2010
11:12 am

“how do you feel with a strange woman compliments YOU?”

‘pends on what she says, and what she’s complimenting me on…if she’s a stranger, then it obviously has to be on something outwardly, cause she doesn’t know me to compliment me on my intrinsic values…again, a simple “thank you” will suffice.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
11:12 am

I used to have a Rott and it was one of the best dogs I’ve ever had…playful, friendly, yet protective. If I told him to watch Melo in a crowd, he would not let him move…he wouldn’t disturb anyone else. lol

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
11:12 am

Leggs – I’m scared of dogs too, I think all animals to a certain point. My SO has 2 cute cats that are sweet, but it’s like any day I am scared they might look at me and just snap! I’m scared that all animals, no matter how small, have a natural instinct to do that. I’m just not big into animals, though I don’t like to see them mistreated, just stay in their world and me in mine!

MELO

August 23rd, 2010
11:12 am

what else could ‘do’ mean??

@Luv??

cld mean chatt up,kiss,flirt with etc….

what does she mean??

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
11:12 am

SlimSeeker @ 11:08

I feel ya on that..You just need to make sure that “Mr. Bullet” appreciates what he’s working with!!! LOL :) :D :)