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Careful with those compliments

I know this won’t support that whole “women aren’t complicated” argument I’ve had going on here but I have to be honest: Women like compliments….however men have to be careful how they lodge those things at us.  We tend to dislike when men are not complimentary but we also get turned off when it’s insincere.

Now, in our defense, ladies, we have certainly heard crazy and dumb stuff some men say to women.  We generally can tell when a guy is gaming us to get our phone numbers for sport hook ups; we also know when a guy is genuinely impressed with us.  There are times when a compliment can go all wrong and you actually feel insulted.

As my friend Damon Young recently noted,  “how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.”  I couldn’t agree more.  Do men know that the type of compliments they offer can either sink or swim their chances with women?

How do men receive compliments?  Do you enjoy it when a woman pays you a compliment?  Should women be careful how they compliment you so that you feel flattered instead of ridiculed?

Can you think of the best compliment you ever received from someone?

402 comments Add your comment

2CPTG©

August 23rd, 2010
8:21 am

morning…..

“How do men receive compliments?”…..ummm, same way as y’all! Depending on the female it’s coming from, and what she actually says – granted, anytime someone gives you a compliment it should be appreciated, but it could also be some tongue-in-cheek type statement, which you would take with a grain of salt….

YESSHEISCUTE

August 23rd, 2010
8:33 am

That’s a good question! I don’t know how to compliment a guy b/c they usually try to act like its not that serious unless he happens to be a little sensitive or romantic. So what’s a good way to compliment a really macho guy?

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
8:51 am

Good morning all,

Sort of took a little hiatus last week, not that any of yall noticed. But Anyhoo, I give men compliments when I genuinely have a compliment to pay. I complimented a fellow recently and he seemed a bit taken back by it at first. He was like wow, I haven’t had a women say anything that nice to me in while. He was like, we men need to hear those things too. Personally, I don’t say stuff to break the ice with the intent to holla at them…I like to give it and go in most cases. No need to linger on as if they now owe you someting in return.

I hope everyone had a good weekend….dayum it’s almost September :shock:

2CPTG©

August 23rd, 2010
9:07 am

SlimSeeker, you’re right, a lotta men take a compliment as an ice breaker; some don’t know how to take it, and leave it at that. The most common one is, “you smell nice.” A nice “thank you” will suffice.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
9:12 am

2CPTG – The dude I paid a compliment too seemed so throwed off by it, but then he almost acted as if he wanted me to keep telling him things about him….”please ma’am, tell me more about my eyyyyes” lol

I notice a guy’s smell, eyes, smile, freshly lined up goatee (especially if it has a bit of salt & pepper in it), physique and definitely hands…don’t go for the brothas with long fanga nails. :shock:

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
9:15 am

Morning all –

Slim, I noticed you were gone. Us Slim Goodies have to look out for one another. ;) What’s the update with your boo? (if you feel like sharing)

As for compliments and whatnot, yes, there are guys who say stupid things. I don’t overanalyze such a thing. If I’m offended he will know, if I feel he’s sincere, he’ll get a sincere thanks and perhaps a compliment back. Other than that, no need to stress.

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
9:20 am

Good morning all!! Hope everyone had a nice weekend :)

On Topic….What have relations between men and women come to that there has to be guidelines to giving a compliment??? Maybe its me, but I just don’t see whats the big deal with a lady saying to me,” Thats a nice suite” or “Don’t you look nice today”….I compliment women all the time and its just because they are worthy: sad to see thats not the case with everyone…

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
9:21 am

GM all,

of course women like compliments. good point tho that its in how the compliment is made. told yall about dude withthe freckles last week, sure coulda handled “you look very nice today” better than what he said. save the compliments that make me feel like a piece of meat till at least after i know your name.
Compliments for a dude, yeah, will admit have had issues with that. as was mentioned, they seem to go for one xtreme or the other. either they barely notice and are like “yeah, um, k” or are ”please ma’am, tell me more about my eyyyyes” (lol Slim). seems hard to pay a dude a compliment and keep teh convo roling….

Dan - simply...

August 23rd, 2010
9:21 am

There’s a reason to compliment anyone

Some unique physical feature, some article of clothing, a mannerism, whatever it is that person does well (in your eyes).

I pay random compliments, with no ulterior motives 9 of 10 times, as my “good deed for the day”.

Slim, we noticed.

Mornin, folks

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
9:22 am

Morning ARED….How was the weekend??

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
9:28 am

Morning Simple Man!

Had a very fun weekend! Lots of end of summer parties and receptions going on. Someone crowned me a socialite. :lol:

How bout you?

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
9:34 am

Good morning good people!

My, you all look nice today! :)

I think everyone appreciates a nice, sincere compliment. It doesn’t always mean someone is trying to hit on you, just being polite. Everyone doesn’t know how to take a sincere compliment, some folks get a little shy or embarassed. Just smile and say thank you.

All nothing to stress over. Maybe be concerned if NOBODY finds anything worthy about you to compliment.

We’ve all had those sleezy type of “compliments” directed our way. They really don’t warrant a response. Those folks just don’t know any better or have issues that are not your concern. And before someone says it, I will: just because some dude says something stupid to you it doesn’t mean it “worked” on someone else, especially someone of your caliber. Either he’s really just a sleeze, it was successful on someone of his equal or he just doesn’t know any better. Either way, it’s his problem, not an indictment of all women.

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
9:35 am

Good morning.

@Slim Seeker ~ I noticed you were gone. Hope you are now refreshed and can honor us with your quick wit!

@im swiss ~ thanks for your post. You and SimpleMan are crazy. I was being nice with my quote, but you definitely broke it down! :lol: :lol:

On topic: I will compliment a man on his attire, his smell, whatever I feel deserves a compliment. I don’t think men are complimented as much as women are. It’s endearing to see the look of surprise and appreciation on the face of the man. Some are so taken aback they start stuttering their thank you. :lol:

SexyCool

August 23rd, 2010
9:37 am

Dan – cosign 921a – I compliment people *sincerely* all the time, just because I like seeing people smile.

Steven Q. Stanley

August 23rd, 2010
9:40 am

LMAO Good God. It’s hard to even process this line of thinking: “Here is a great guy, he is good to me, employed, hard working, would make a great father, but after reading way too much into his compliments, I don’t think he is sincere enough.,”

Wow. Ladies, once you over 30 you should be thankful a man gives your old ragged self any compliment, much less a sincere one.

This kind of thinking is insane and its why a lot of women are going to die alone in a room of cats.

i'm swiss™

August 23rd, 2010
9:43 am

So…. are you saying that “DAYUM! Look at them T!TT!ES!!!!” isn’t a good compliment?

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
9:44 am

Catman Stan, I think it was more about compliments from those in passing! :lol:

Let me go sit down with my goldfish! LOL!!

i'm swiss™

August 23rd, 2010
9:45 am

My pleasure, Leggs. Everything okay?

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
9:45 am

Well now I may feel a bit special that my fellow blogstown homies noticed I dipped out on yall…uncle died so was a bit out of it mentally.

ARed – um..as far as update, there really isn’t much to tell. He never really had a “talk” with me…not sure if my uncles death put a hindrance on that situation. We talked a little this weekend and discussed how he feels he still is in the dark about what he is here on earth for…seeking his purpose, feeling unfulfilled. He also talked about the demise of so many other people in marriages or relationships, feeling stuck or unhappy. Says he isn’t quite sure he believes in long term relationships because of that…which my answer to that was you can’t take on other peoples failures as your own. Yes you can take heed to the wrong things they do to try to prevent making same mistake. However, you aren’t living their life and can only account for what YOU do when you’re with someone.

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
9:46 am

Catman Stan – I think the discussion was about compliments in passing! LOL!!

I give up, let me go sit down with my goldfish! :lol:

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
9:48 am

AmazonRed™ @9:28

Went to a birthday party that was supposed to be at one place but dealing with “us”, it ended up being moved at the last minute!!! All in all, it was cool and I can’t ask for more than that!

Morning Leggs!! How are you today beautiful???

Gale

August 23rd, 2010
9:50 am

I compliment people all the time, whether I know them or not. I respond to compliments with a simple thank you and a smile. Nothing more is required or intended. Courtesy in the world is always a good thing.

blue - Waiting.....

August 23rd, 2010
9:52 am

@Slim – we noticed, just knew you had a lot on your plate is all….feel better!

Hey Leggs – everything ok at the homestead?
@Stanley – too early dude, too early….

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
9:52 am

@im swiss ~ I’m hurt to the core. I got my things back because the young punks lived next door to me. Me, the neighborhood mom, was robbed by my 16 year old neighbor and 2 other punks! They even had the audacity to take my 2 jugs of juice out the fridge. I got everything back thanks to another neighbor looking out his window. I’m very thankful they didn’t drop my tv! I slept with my bat the entire weekend, but will be investing in a gun.

I know they say it takes a village, but my hut is slowly burning to the ground!

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
9:54 am

Slim @ 9:45…. Maybe its me, but it sounds like your guy is laying the ground work for a quick getaway!!! Any minute now you are gonna get the “Its not you, its me” or “I just need to make sure I can give you what you need” speech……

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
9:56 am

Stanley Steamer – how old are you again?

Steven Q. Stanley

August 23rd, 2010
9:56 am

Ladies, how about instead of worrying about how a man dresses, or whether his compliments are sincere enough, or that he is too close minded, and the host of other crap you gals worry about over here, you drop that and start worrying about finding a good man to spend the rest of your life with? Good men are hard to find and the more time you spend worrying about how he eats his peas or how nice his handwriting is, the less likely you are to land one.

A guy who saves money by not wasting it on fancy clothes is a guy who is going to make a great partner, not to mention one who probably isn’t interested in cheating on you.

Ever stop to consider that many of you aren’t the prized pig you claim to be. A guy giving you compliments is a guy who is trying to make you feel better about yourself. He sees something on the inside that makes up for the ravages that aging has brought up on your face and body. Maybe he doesn’t sound sincere enough, T.S.

Maybe he isn’t close minded, he just knows what he likes and sticks with it. One of the things my soon to be wife loves most about me is that I pick something and stick with it, like her.

For every dumb thing here you ladies come up with to judge a man and use an excuse to discard him, I can tell you why it might be a good thing to be looking for.

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
9:56 am

Leggs – I am so sorry you had to go thru that! It is great to have neighbors that are on the lookout! But it destroys your peace of mind to have someone intrude on your space like that.

I am assuming they arrested those punks?

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
9:58 am

Says he isn’t quite sure he believes in long term relationships because of that…

Well, I’m glad he tried to communicate with you. You gonna stick it out?

i'm swiss™

August 23rd, 2010
9:59 am

Leggs — Sorry to hear that, but glad you got everything back. Punks, indeed!

Dan - simply...

August 23rd, 2010
9:59 am

@Slim

My condolensces for your loss…

@Leggs

Press charges, plain and simple. Sometimes in the village community buttwhoopings are completely appropriate.

@SC

Isn’t a good feeling to pass along joy?

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:00 am

Leggs! I’m so sorry to hear that! So you know his people then? Are you gonna press charges?

How’d they get in???

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:00 am

Good men are hard to find

Steamer – And just how would you know this?

That whole diatribe above was the classic loser vent, by the way. Like blue said, too early in the day. You’re a laughing stock on this blog now, in case you hadn’t noticed. The only “help” you off is a good laugh! :lol:

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:01 am

Good morning, SimpleMan! Did you have a good time at Ambience? Did you like the place.

Hey Ms. Blue. I’m ok. Just amazed at how stupid these kids really are!

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:01 am

Slim – So sorry.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:02 am

Simple Man – He is a few steps ahead of you….”You’re a great girl to have, I just think you need someone that is capable of giving you all the qualities you deserve. I’m sure your next guy will be much better than I could have been to you.’ yadda, yadda, yadda… :-)

Steven Q. Stanley

August 23rd, 2010
10:04 am

kimmie, if you are content to die alone that is your business. Some women aren’t. If I had a dollar for every woman who thanked me for opening her eyes to what was an inevitable path to catladydom I’d be a very rich man.

A lot of people wonder what happened to to society, why no one ever tries to help anyone anymore. Are we more selfish? Probably, but actually it is because of people like kimmie who attack those whose only goal is to help others.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:06 am

Leggs – I’m sure you feel violated as heyal. I know I did when my apartment got broken into some years ago. Glad everything turned out okay…With that said, do you have a youtube video talking about the assailants? lol

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:07 am

Slim – I’ve heard that “you deserve” speach before. I guess he sorta did have “the talk” then, in a round-about way.

SlimSeeker

August 23rd, 2010
10:09 am

kimmie – well he said that wasn’t what he initially had to talk to me about…lol So the world may never know what he was going to tell me…If i was to decode that song from last week, I would assume he was saying he was a bit scared but still wanted to at least give it a shot. Confused he is. But as with everything, life will continue to exist.

MASON

August 23rd, 2010
10:09 am

Have a good day!

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:10 am

@ARed ~ I will be pressing charges. The threw a brick through my back kitchen window which took a good chuck out of my kitchen table then hit the wall leaving a big hole. They took my tv, Wii game system, camera, laptop and the juice out of the fridge.

I couldn’t help but think of CSI when they took out the fingerprint dust and tape to extract the fingerprints off the window. There was black soot everywhere. And, I left it all there so lil leggs could see what her neighbors had done to us.

The mother came over and apologize and kept saying her son was a good boy. I had to stop her and say, “you don’t know me very well and I’m not sure if you know what an oxymoron is, but you can’t use “good boy” and “robbed me” in the same sentence. The father is going to repair my wall and the police is calling me today with the names parents of the other 2 boys. Most definitely, I’m pressing charges.

However, I do take pleasure that they got caught robbing from ME. The one who takes them to the bus stop in the morning when they’re running late, give them water after playing basketball, etc. Oh well, it is what it is.

@Dan ~ the mother said she would bring her son to me upon his release to talk with me. I just hope I can refrain from slapping the shyt out of him!

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:10 am

Leggs – Ironically, my subdivision had a meeting last week with the company that’s going to install security cameras there. One of their representatives was at the HOH meeting telling us how they will work. We had some issues with teen vandals, but our neighborhood watch is VERY strong and with the cameras will be even stronger.

DJ Sniper

August 23rd, 2010
10:11 am

Leggs, I’m so sorry you had to deal with the break-in. It pisses me off when I hear about people who work hard to acquire the things that they like, only to have it stolen by fools like this. I have no sympathy for people like that who end up with a severe case of lead poisoning, especially if they commit a home invasion when the person is there.

Simple Man!!!!

August 23rd, 2010
10:12 am

Steven Q. Stanley @ 10:04 Exhale Bru…..Now go in the bathroom and sit in the stall for a minute…Find yourself!! The anger will subside…it always does!!

Leggs, Ambience closed down!!!! Guest were starting to show up and the doors were closed…Management would not give a straight answer but did move all scheduled events to Obsessions on Glenwood! Now I still showed up because it was my brother, but that place was hoochie central and wayyyyyy out of my comfort zone!

I am whatever you say I am

August 23rd, 2010
10:12 am

Here is an example of what not to use as a compliment.
True story!
A friend of mine was on campus (back in our college days) when a dude approached her and said:

“Daaaammmnnn Girl! You look good enough to F*** on film”

Yep, that’s an example of what not to say

Leggs

August 23rd, 2010
10:14 am

@Slim ~ too funny, because one of the Detectives said “whoa nelly, where you from?” I wasn’t necessarily cussing a lot, but spewing disbelief that this punk robbed me all the while pointing my finger at his mother!

kimmie

August 23rd, 2010
10:14 am

“you don’t know me very well and I’m not sure if you know what an oxymoron is, but you can’t use “good boy” and “robbed me” in the same sentence.

Leggs – That is amazing! I am so glad you told her!! Just what is some of these clueless parents’ definition of a “good boy”???

AmazonRed™

August 23rd, 2010
10:17 am

Slim – I’m sorry about the passing of your uncle as well. May he R.I.P.

SexyCool

August 23rd, 2010
10:18 am

Absolutely, Dan.