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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

I have his attention, now what?

Women are not taught to approach men.  We are taught how to entice them, perplex them, and even spoil them.   If someone were to teach a class on making moves on men, I don’t even know what the course syllabus would look like.

Men always declare they are simple creatures, but we know better (translation: you are simple, we are anything but).  The way to turn a man’s head and grab his attention is not the hard part (it starts with a sexy shoe, doesn’t it?), though.  After the approach, a smart man wants to know the lady has substance.

I think a lot of women get caught up on making the outward appearance pretty that they forget to showcase their brains and wit.  I have even had to catch myself and tone down the va-va-voom on a first date.

We want to be desirable to men of course.  We just want to stand out from all the man-hungry, thirsty females who do and say anything to get temporary attention from men.

Guys, when was the last time a woman approached you and held your interest? What do you think it was about her that made her stand out?

Ladies, do you ever find it difficult to maintain a man’s interest beyond that evening when you are looking oh so hot on the dating scene?  When you go from your night time look to your daytime/every day look, are men surprised at the difference in you?

Do you find that you play up the vixen side too much in the beginning when you first meet a man?

441 comments Add your comment

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:01 am

Hola!

1st!!!!!

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:03 am

Morning
Guys, when was the last time a woman approached you and held your interest? What do you think it was about her that made her stand out?
Every woman who has ever approached me had held my interest. The thing that IMMEDIATELY stood out about all of them is that they were confident and self assured enough to go get what they wanted. It didn’t take away from their femininity in any way, and none of them appeared desperate. Most of them could have had any man they wanted, and they were probably used to getting just that.

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:05 am

On topic: My answers are the same from the last time…reposting listed below:

Ladies, do you ever find it difficult to maintain a man’s interest beyond that evening when you are looking oh so hot on the dating scene? Nope

When you go from your night time look to your daytime/every day look, are men surprised at the difference in you Nope

Do you find that you play up the vixen side too much in the beginning when you first meet a man?
Nope, I am not Karen Steffan, although I read her books.

Happy Birthday to the Birthday Girl…Lady I am wishing you many many more!!!

Simple Man!!!

August 17th, 2010
9:07 am

Looks Like I first to weigh in today!!! Its sooooo easy for a woman to hold my attention once she has caught my eye!!! Be confident and self assured without coming across as angry…Be independant without seeming anti-man and we can move forward and see whats up…..

Simple Man!!!

August 17th, 2010
9:09 am

Morning DD and Dreamsmaterialize…

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
9:10 am

I’m with my boy Dreams on this one,

The approach is sexy.

I’m one for saying what’s on your mind, and if it’s me; all the better. Just be able (and willing) to express yoself.

Luvbug

August 17th, 2010
9:11 am

We just want to stand out from all the man-hungry, thirsty females who do and say anything to get temporary attention from men.

Not necessarily. That may be his type. Standing out in that situation, if you’re not any of those types, may only lead to heartbreak when your true self settles in.

Do you find that you play up the vixen side too much in the beginning when you first meet a man?

Not applicable. LOL

Mo (aka Moeisha) - officially employed again

August 17th, 2010
9:12 am

Happy Birthday Lady J! Enjoy!

Morning All!

On topic: from my experience its been as Dreams said, the men were so impressed with the fact that I approached that I kept their attention. Most times if I approach a guy its in a pretty casual setting anyway so I dont worry about playing up the Vixen side. If you are intrigued by how I am at a Falcons game/the mall then its cool!

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
9:14 am

Good isht Mo! (on the employment)

YESSHEISCUTE

August 17th, 2010
9:15 am

The whole vixen thing is so overrated. Been there done that learned my lesson. I am so over men and their idiosyncracies. Enough is enough of all the dating games and dating rules and all this crap. I’ve learned that if a guy is trying to have sex with me from jump he is not boyfriend or husband material. That clearly shows he is not even on the level of looking for commitment b/c if he was he would give you an opportunity to “show him what you got” mentally. So to those guys who try women and then say that its the women who have a problem I disagree the problem starts with the initiator so….NEXT!

SlimPart2 - da other twin

August 17th, 2010
9:15 am

Good gloomy morning to you all…

Do you ever find it difficult to maintain a man’s interest beyond that evening when you are looking oh so hot on the dating scene? –> That’s a negative
When you go from your night time look to your daytime/every day look, are men surprised at the difference in you? —>Double Negative

Do you find that you play up the vixen side too much in the beginning when you first meet a man? —>Triple dawg negative

Now what’s for lunch?

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:17 am

Wassup Simple Man and DreamsM….

I mentioned it before on here I am not the type to step to a man. Look what happened when that girl stepped to Dig That and tripped…LOL. Seriously I don’t think it is my thing and if I did it, it would be more of me being silly just to try it than being serious. I might just have DreamsM send a Shirley Temple just to practice. :wink:

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:19 am

Slim I am hungry too! I have a 1/2 sam’mich that I am getting ready to eat followed by a piece of fruit. I love a good breakfast, but Monday-Friday I eat regular food and 2-3 servings of fruit in the morning.

Run4life

August 17th, 2010
9:22 am

Enough is enough of all the dating games and dating rules and all this crap. I’ve learned that if a guy is trying to have sex with me from jump he is not boyfriend or husband material. . So to those guys who try women and then say that its the women who have a problem I disagree the problem starts with the initiator so….NEXT!

DittoDittoDitto!!! I am so sick of guys saying that we are ‘crazy’ just because we call them on their stuff. When will I learn my lesson to just wait for it, instead of giving these bad boys a clean slate. If a guy really wants you, he will move heaven and hell to find you.

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:23 am

Dang am I the only one who didn’t know it was Lady’s birthday? lol Happy bday Lady. I got you on a drink. ;-)

What’s good Mo? Good to read you. How’s everything? Still on Pepsi hiatus?

Sup, Simple Man

When you go from your night time look to your daytime/every day look, are men surprised at the difference in you?
What I love is when her daytime-work look is just as fly as her borders bookstore look is just as fly as her clean-the-house look is just as fly as her hit-the-gym look, all just as fly as her night-time-going-out look.

Southern Man

August 17th, 2010
9:25 am

From my perspective, a women that is intelligent, has a sense of humor, and is confident without being cocky or arrogant will hold my interest. Those characteristics seem to apply to my male and female friends.

As for how women come across on first dates or when they first meet someone new – unfortunately, first impressions last. If they play up only the sexy part, that is how they will be remembered. If that is what they want (just a short term fling) then that is okay. The longer term relationships that I have had have always started off in situations where the emphasis was not on physical attractiveness but rather on other qualities (athleticism, intelligence, etc.)

Having said all this, is it really that different between men and women? Doesn’t it take more than just appearance to keep someone interested?

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
9:30 am

Happy birfday, Lady J!

Luvbug

August 17th, 2010
9:30 am

Dreams/Dan – Were you in long term relationships with any of the women who approached you? If so, did they lead in the relationship as they did in the introduction? Did they pick up the tab? Court you? Initiate most conversation/interaction?

How did it balance out after the initial come on?

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:32 am

Dang am I the only one who didn’t know it was Lady’s birthday?

Dreams, we sent you the order for par-tay: Boones Farm, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Colt 45 and Old English 800, and some Bull.

PrincessNik

August 17th, 2010
9:34 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY!!!

Morning All, i’ll be back a little later.

Lady-The Birthday Girl!!! ~Rockin' It~

August 17th, 2010
9:34 am

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Thanks so much Dirty Diana for that warm Birthday Wish Chica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a totally awesome shout out on my 31st honey!!!!!!! ;)

MO Thanks and Congrats on being employed again!!!!! Hold it down chica!!!! :)

DreamsM how did you forget my bday and our beach getaway sir!!!!! I will charge it to the game and blog bar!!!! Top Self Margaritas on you sir all day to everyone on the Blog Playground today!!!!! ;)
ITS OFFICIALLY PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

ITS MY BDAY and I am Blessed to see another year!!!!!! :)

Thanks to all for the warm wishes!!!! :)

Have a Happy 17th like Lady!!!! ;)

blue

August 17th, 2010
9:35 am

GM all,

Happy Birthday Lady!!

Kinda going with DD on this one, never really been one to go after a dude. tried it once with BD, and see how well that turned out, lol! but usually, whatever caught dudes eye in the first place, kept them coming back so not entirely sure about trying to keep their attention. usually a combination of confidence, not being afraid to show im intelligent but still not constantly slapping them with the fact that i read books, good sense of humor, and vixen kept their attention.
Not sure about playing too much vixen. its kinda always on anyway, but low key anyway.

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:35 am

Look what happened when that girl stepped to Dig That and tripped…LOL
Awwww Double D’s that’s just part of the game. No one like being rejected, but dudes learned to live with that when we were like 5 and the girl we liked threw paint on us in arts and crafts. lol Dudes know, you see a woman you like, you make a run for it. Some will be receptive, some will let you down easy, and some will hit you in the knees and try to shyte on you. lol Doesn’t stop us though! Now come over here and talk to me…

Lady-The Birthday Girl!!! ~Rockin' It~

August 17th, 2010
9:35 am

Thanks PK my fellow Leo Lady!!!!!! ;)

SlimPart2 - da other twin

August 17th, 2010
9:35 am

DD – all i’ve had this morning is a cup of coffee and half of a hashbrown. lol

Lady-The Birthday Girl!!! ~Rockin' It~

August 17th, 2010
9:36 am

Thanks Blue another fiesty Leo holdin’ it down!!!! Thanks Chica! :)

Lady-The Birthday Girl!!! ~Rockin' It~

August 17th, 2010
9:36 am

ok be back later!

Peace!

Luvbug

August 17th, 2010
9:37 am

I’m late on the draw, but…

Happy New Year Lady J!!!

blue

August 17th, 2010
9:38 am

@Slim@DD – cup of coffee and half a hashbrown, wanna trade? got my oatmeal as usual. bored with oatmeal, even with raisins, lol….

Simple Man!!!

August 17th, 2010
9:39 am

Next round on me to celebrate the Birthday Girl!!!! ;D

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:43 am

@Lady I know you will have a fun and happy day!
@Slim I just finished that sam’mich. I know it is too early to ask, but how did the talk go last night?

@DreamsM, I am traditional in a sense, and I have been lucky enough that eye contact usually brings the guy over. My college sweetheart, was one that I wanted to approach, and I mentioned him to this girl I was with. In fact, we were all in the cafe, and I told her he is so cute to me, and she just left me and ran over there talking to him and flirting….I was pissed, because I had “called him first.” :evil: The funny thing is he really wasn’t paying attention to her and he asked her what’s up with your girl. He started chatting with me and we exchanged numbers, he called me that night and picked me up to go to the library to study and we had a bite to eat. Shoot my GPA even went up while dating him. So it always work out for me. :wink:

MELO

August 17th, 2010
9:45 am

The way to turn a man’s head and grab his

oooghhhhh,ur choice of words Diva!

For a moment, I thought u were going somewhere really sexxy and nice with that! :lol:

Good morning folks!

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:46 am

@blue, how is fred doing? I will take a few tablespoons of that oatmeal. I had to take a break from the oatmeal as well I will probably start back eating it this fall.

@Simple Man/Dreams I will take a bloody mary in honor of Lady’s birthday :grin:

Simple Man!!!

August 17th, 2010
9:47 am

IMHO, there is nothing sexier than a woman that is confident enough to approach me and start a social conversation… That says alot about who she is and where she is in her life….

Lady-The Birthday Girl!!! ~Rockin' It~

August 17th, 2010
9:47 am

dammit top SHELF that is!!!!

Thanks Lovbug!!!!

You know me DD I will get it in!

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:48 am

Luvbug I’m not sure what you consider long term in college, but I kicked it with most of them for several months. Was off and on with one for a couple years. None of them lead in the introductions…just cases where they noticed me before I notices them. If I had seen them first, I would have approached first. They didn’t lead in our subsequent interactions either. One that I remember turned out to be pretty combative about EVERYTHING (not limited to chicks who have approached me though lol), and another one turned everything into a power struggle (also not limited to chicks who have approached me). All the others were really cool and easy to get along with. I always initiated to pick up the tab, but sometimes they’d say “Hey let me get this one.” (again not limited to chicks who have approached me).

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
9:48 am

@Luv

I tried to have a long term relationship with one of them (the other young lady was not that type of girl) in part because she approached me.

Like Dreams said, we get used to rejection early in the game so for us, it’s no big deal. I didn’t want to hurt the girls fillings so I pulled the “jerk move” when I realized it wasn’t going anywhere.

As for the approaches both were cautious, but smooth, at bars and drinks were offered; but I’m a gentleman.

LLS, as with any potential relationship you get out what you put in.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

August 17th, 2010
9:48 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAAAAAADY!!!! YOU ROCK!!!! :lol: :mrgreen:

Dirty Dianaaaaaaa what it do mami!! ;)

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:50 am

@Lady, I am glad you told DreamsM about the top shelf, since I was going to buy the bar I gave him the following order…don’t judge me…I am just cheap, not broke.

The order for par-tay: Boones Farm, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Colt 45 and Old English 800, and some Bull.

Luvbug

August 17th, 2010
9:50 am

IMHO, there is nothing sexier than a woman that is confident enough to approach me and start a social conversation… That says alot about who she is and where she is in her life….

That said Simple Man, can you answer the questions I asked Dreams and Dan??

Dirty Diana ♠

August 17th, 2010
9:51 am

Hey Sassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssy

Wassup on your end? How is the boy toy doing? Did you take my advice…lol? :grin:

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:54 am

Lady You told me the beach getaway was perfect in the fall! you tryna confuse me. lol I got you on a margarita though. ;-) Now come get this birthday hug.

blue

August 17th, 2010
9:55 am

@Dreams – the girl we liked threw paint on us in arts and crafts – lol. that did seem to be the rule huh, went both ways tho. i remember dudes pulling my hair to say hi, lol. Things were so much simpler then!
@DD – Freds doing ok, passed his last random check. Think he may be ready to give pony rides again…

SlimPart2 - da other twin

August 17th, 2010
9:56 am

blue – um…sorry no trade. I don’t like oatmeal. ;-)

DD – no talk happened last night. I texted him before I got off work to see if he was going to be available to do it…he came back with something to the effect of 1st of all you keep insinuating that the news is bad…you just need to relax and let me say what I got to say if anything. And told me to stop stressing over what I cannot control… So i’m sitting there looking like HUH?

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
9:56 am

On topic:

If she has my attention, the best thing she can do is be honest. With me and with herself.

Mixed expectations are the worst, especially when they are not overtly stated.

Learned the last (attempted) go round that the easist part of it all is me doing me, her doing her, and meeting (hopefully) somewhere in the middle.

AmazonRed™ - back from another vacay

August 17th, 2010
9:57 am

Morning all –

I think some women just have natural sex appeal…at least that’s what I’m told. Truth be told, I don’t wear make up or carry a designer bag or wear designer shoes. I just wear what I’m comfortable and comb my hair (sometimes). :lol: I took a trip to SF last weekend, part of it was work. And I met a man who asked to fly me to Seattle for dinner. Because I was hosting 40 people, I know for sure I wasn’t playing up the vixen side.

I do agree that men are simple creatures though. So sometimes they can’t read signals so well. :lol: So even though I might not outright approach a guy and try to holler, I will at least give the green light so that he knows it’s cool to come over.

Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)

August 17th, 2010
9:59 am

The order for par-tay: Boones Farm, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Colt 45 and Old English 800, and some Bull.

Chile we gone be on the “flo” with that list right thurrr….lol

Wassup on your end? How is the boy toy doing? Did you take my advice…

I’m good Dianaaaaaa…all is well and I refuse to complain. As far as the boy toy he begged n whined real hard last week but he’s been let go…plain n simple. He had his chance to get better but jacked it up instead, so I had to show him the door. I tried to be nice about it but he kept coming with the late nite texts n whatnot so I got gulley with him to prove my point. He lost out that’s all….maybe he’ll get it right next time.

Gotta go to a lab meeting….be back in a “frew”…

Trevor0529

August 17th, 2010
9:59 am

Good Morning,

IMHO, there is nothing sexier than a woman that is confident enough to approach me and start a social conversation… That says alot about who she is and where she is in her life

@Simple, I agree with that statement.

@DirtyD, please include a bottle of E&J brandy to your list.
:)

DreamsMaterialize

August 17th, 2010
9:59 am

When will I learn my lesson to just wait for it, instead of giving these bad boys a clean slate. If a guy really wants you, he will move heaven and hell to find you.
Run4Life So a dude is supposed to move heaven and hell to get his lady (no objection to that btw), but to get him all she has to do is…”wait”? Sounds like that relationship will be built on an unbalanced foundation to start…recipe for disaster.

Dan - simply...

August 17th, 2010
10:02 am

@Dreams

We ‘posed to pour the foundation, design and build the house, all she need do is walk in.

You know that…