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Archive for August, 2010

What do women want?

I was asked the dreaded question: What are you looking for in a man?  I suppose I can understand why men ask this question.  It is one of those questions that men think can reveal what type of woman you are and if you are compatible.

I still hate the question… with a passion.

I usually dodge the question by making a joke or something, not very mature, I  know.   I have been accused of not knowing what I want, and maybe that is partly true.  I think I could talk more about what I don’t want.  When it comes to what I want, I believe I will know it when I see it!

Men, is it important to you that women know what they want?  Do you ever ask women this question? What kind of responses do you get?  Are you trying to determine if her expectations are rooted in reality or fantasy?

Ladies, how do you handle it when men ask you this? Do you have a stock answer prepared just to satisfy their curiosity?

What do you think women want?

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Dating in the Facebook nation

I watch my teenage nieces and their dramatic Facebook status updates and can’t help but feel relieved.  I am so thankful that I never had Facebook in my teen years.  I should send Zuckerman a thank you card.

You wonder how much of ourselves start to take shape online.  We share on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and many other slightly narcissistic social media outlets.  Do you think people who want to date us could read or observe something and get turned off?

In a recent Forbes article, Are You Revealing Too Much On Facebook, the author makes a pretty interesting point.  Your “profile” can be raised or lowered in the eyes of a potential.  Since it isn’t a typical dating website, Facebook becomes a way people discover your personality.  This isn’t necessarily a good thing for everyone.

I can admit that I lost my excitement over a guy after watching a little of his social media existence.  Is it fair? Probably not.  At the same time, I couldn’t totally ignore how he …

Continue reading Dating in the Facebook nation »

Freaky Friday: Whose fantasy is it?

Have you ever wondered if you were too “vanilla” or inexperienced compared to your date or significant other? Would it bother you if you found out that you were?

I ask because a friend of mine went on a first date with a new guy  recently.  He randomly mentioned his rendezvous with two women during the date.  Yes, you read that right. 

I will pause here so you can react with disbelief like I did.

She became “visibly annoyed” and quickly changed the subject, unfortunately she had already heard too much.  Now she can’t seem to shake off the little details he managed to divulge.

Where do I even begin? First of all, why would you even mention your former hook-ups with someone you are interested in?  How tacky is that?  Secondly,  is that some kind of new   compatibility test some people use now?

Mr. Threesome  rambled on about how he was glad he got it out of his system.  Is this the sort of thing that single people want to do before they settle down?  Does sowing …

Continue reading Freaky Friday: Whose fantasy is it? »

Date someone frugal? You should!

I don’t know who decided the term frugal had to be negative for men.  It’s like there is a double standard there.  Women who are smart with money are intelligent but men get tagged with the cheap guy label.

Personally, I believe that frugal means that a man is mature and intelligent enough to save generously and spend wisely.  It doesn’t mean he won’t know how to have fun and treat you with kindness.

The New York Times article asked, Can Smart Money Management Be Sexy? When you consider our current economy, not only is smart money management sexy, it should be mandatory!

What do you think the difference is between smart and frugal with money and cheap?

If you are someone who is smart with money, do you think that impacts your dating experiences?  Is it hard to meet and connect with other frugal people?

I think we could all benefit from sharing new ways to date in Atlanta on a budget.  What is the last date you have been on that cost $25 or less?

Where are the most …

Continue reading Date someone frugal? You should! »

Natural Tapering Off

A caught an episode of the TBS show My Boys recently that addressed a common thing that happens with couples: The natural tapering off  aka The NTO.  You know how it is when the novelty has worn off (no pun intended) and the hot and heavy shifts to “lucky if it’s steady” stage?  Yeah, it creeps up on you pretty fast.

There really is no way to avoid The NTO because, well it’s physically impossible to maintain the same intensity and frequency.   Oh you probably have the very best intentions to!  It’s just that random things such schedule conflicts, varying libidos, work distractions, etc. all conspire against you.

What if it’s not just due to these things though?

If you have hit a tapering off period way too soon, should you be concerned?  What would you do if your desire to rip your date’s clothes off wanes soon after you two have become exclusive?

Do men notice when the natural tapering off stage begins?  I think women don’t realize it as quickly as men do.  What do …

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Reasons to marry differ from our parents?

I used to believe that reasons people got married today seem to differ from the reasons our parents and grandparents got married.  Now, I am wondering if the reasons are the same.

My parents say they married because they wanted to build a life together and have children. After over 43 years of marriage (44th anniversary is next month!) my parents are still together and adorably smitten with one another.

In their case, their motivation for marriage probably centered more around love and family. It is also what held them together. I know a lot of young couples that wanted to marry because they “fell in love” and couldn’t imagine life without the person. A lot of them aren’t together anymore. When that intense feeling subsided, some of them thought it was all over.

Marriage isn’t always about all that passion, some people don’t expect that! Do you think that our reasons to marry today differs from our parents and grandparents?

If so, how? Do you think this is a good …

Continue reading Reasons to marry differ from our parents? »

Careful with those compliments

I know this won’t support that whole “women aren’t complicated” argument I’ve had going on here but I have to be honest: Women like compliments….however men have to be careful how they lodge those things at us.  We tend to dislike when men are not complimentary but we also get turned off when it’s insincere.

Now, in our defense, ladies, we have certainly heard crazy and dumb stuff some men say to women.  We generally can tell when a guy is gaming us to get our phone numbers for sport hook ups; we also know when a guy is genuinely impressed with us.  There are times when a compliment can go all wrong and you actually feel insulted.

As my friend Damon Young recently noted,  “how the compliment is actually received depends primarily on the type of compliment you’re giving and the type of woman you’re complimenting.”  I couldn’t agree more.  Do men know that the type of compliments they offer can either sink or swim their chances with women?

How do men receive …

Continue reading Careful with those compliments »

Does fashion matter?

Have you ever had a date show up and their entire outfit was inappropriate  or maybe even bizarre?  I think it seems like a silly thing to “deduct” points on when you are checking somebody out.  Does fashion really matter that much, though?

I remember talking to a guy who said he didn’t call for a second date because the woman showed up to the first date looking too conservative.  He said she may as well have worn a “nun habit” considering how little skin she was showing.

What do you think fashion and style says about our personalities and image on the dating scene?

Would you dump someone because you didn’t like the way they dressed?

Is it ever a good idea to give wardrobe  “suggestions” to people you are dating?  What if you were in a relationship, do you think it’s ok to change your significant others’ clothing or style?

When you see people out and about, is it their “style” that catches your eye before their looks?

Happy …

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Off the market? Act like it!

It seems like everyone has their own code of dating ethics.  It would be  a lot easier if we all could follow the same set!  This would come in handy when it comes to figuring out who to invest more time and energy into.

I am finding that a lot of guys I meet say they aren’t seeing anyone special but that is not the entire truth.   Sometimes hey are exploring a relationship with someone else they just haven’t stop looking at other options.

It’s that whole “always looking for the better model” syndrome.  I think it’s partly due to insecurity because most people do this as a defense mechanism.  Do you think this is something that people ever outgrow?

I spotted my friend’s boyfriend at a restaurant and he was not acting like a guy who just asked his girl to move in with him.  I always wonder how men who are in relationships” behave” when their women aren’t around.

Do you think there is a line that people just shouldn’t cross when they are supposedly in a committed …

Continue reading Off the market? Act like it! »

Is your career affecting your love life?

So I have been a little stressed and overworked lately. Turns out, when I am super stressed out I am a total nightmare to be around. I know, shocking. I have been stressed before but I didn’t think I really let it impact my love life.

In the past, I would always be able to balance work/career pretty well. Well, not this time, my friends. I actually sent a text message to my guy of interest last week that said “I really don’t feel like being around people right now. I will let you know when I am.” Seriously, who does that!?

I had to call and apologize because that was a clear example of a woman not in her right mind. Sometimes stress and work makes your love life take a nosedive. It’s particularly awful when it was already the pits!

How do you single and professional people do it? When you feel stressed out, is that when you try to date more to distract you?

When you are under a tremendous amount of pressure, do you let your date know or do you pretend it’s all good until …

Continue reading Is your career affecting your love life? »