Dating: Accessing the ex-files
Whether we believe men and women can really be “friends” or not, the dynamics change after the two of you have made an attempt at a romantic relationship. I am always curious about those who remain friends and make it work without any old issues resurfacing.
How does the new person in your life handle the fact that you not only still speak to your ex, but they are actually a big part of your life? Do we hold on to our exes because we secretly wish for another chance?
How much access to our exes do we really need when we are dating someone new? I recently met a guy who has an annual vacation trip with his ex. I don’t know if I have any exes that I would go on vacations with but I could handle a casual friendship with a few. As it stands, I operate on the assumption that they are all miserable without me somewhere, because that’s just how big my ego is!
Would you want your ex to remain a prominent part or your life?
If you have a great relationship with an ex, did it take a while to get to that stage where you were comfortable talking to them post-breakup? I admit that breakups don’t have to be awful, but should we work harder at trying to remain friends with our exes? What could we learn if we did?
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362 comments Add your comment
I am whatever you say I am
July 28th, 2010
4:56 pm
If the pee is burning, isn’t that reason for medical concern?
Purple Rain
July 28th, 2010
4:59 pm
End of the Day Quote
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. Women want to be treated in equals and not sequels.”
Purple Rain
July 28th, 2010
4:59 pm
as equals not sequels
Purple Rain
July 28th, 2010
5:00 pm
Another end of the day Quote
“My understanding of women goes only as far as their pleasures.”
Melo
July 28th, 2010
5:04 pm
PR..so u go as far as they come!
Purple Rain
July 28th, 2010
5:05 pm
Melo, LOL exactly
Dirty Diana ♠
July 28th, 2010
5:06 pm
shes a thirsty biaatch instigator!!!
Melo, I am thirsty, but not in the way you use the word…LOL
@DreamsM you know it is always good to see you; however, I just want to take it easy today.
@Melo~ I leave the room, because I am in a class by myself so I let the thirsty, dehydrated, famished cougars and kittens get their freak on!
Dirty Diana ♠
July 28th, 2010
5:07 pm
Well I am going home to ______________ fill in the blank.
dfp127
July 28th, 2010
5:12 pm
My boyfriend of 8 years is still emotionally attached to his ex. I actually like her; she is married and happy and I know she is not interested in my b.f. anymore. It is HIS attachment to her that is our problem…….we have broken up twice because this. Sadly, I don’t see our relationship ever evolving into more than dating (we don’t live together) because I just don’t think I should have to do the holidays, etc. with his ex. They’re called EX for a reason. His holding on to the past creates too much drama and chaos. Just my opinion.
Ike
July 28th, 2010
5:35 pm
I don’t see the problem with continuing a friendship with an X if it can remain platonic. First of all, before we even got into a relationship with him/her, did we consult God on his/her purpose in our life? Chances are probably not. So, because his/her purpose was probably to never be our mate, who I am to tell you that you can’t share a friendship with this person that is suppose to be in your life, just in a different capacity than the two of you allowed. Relationships evolve and it is possible to go from a relationship to a honest friendship. Now, if you still have some secret desires to be with your X, then we have a problem b/c most times, particularly if the feeling is mutual, there probably is some inappropriateness going on somewhere. Lastly, in terms of having a current relationship and a friendship with an X, I don’t agree with a current gf/beau telling you who u can’t be friends with. It’s all in the manner in how things are handled & presented. Speaking from xperience, a jealous mate either has unresolved past insecurities or U have planted that seed for them. Which one is it?
Duh
July 28th, 2010
6:15 pm
If you are still seeing her – she is NOT an EX!
Matt W.
July 28th, 2010
6:19 pm
This is not a girlfriend, boyfriend breakup but a divorce. I remain friends with my ex and not just because we have kids together either. We grew apart slowly over twelve years of marriage. We married young. She felt like she had’nt lived her life yet, and i could’nt argue about that. So we agreed i would get the kids and house. I guess the thrill of no responsbilities made it a easy decision for her. So (i’m not looking for sympathy) i raised a eight month old, five year old and nine year old on my own for the last three years, two girls and one boy. She comes around not very often to see the kids but calls to talk to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on. I do try to help her as much as i can and yes i do scold her for not seeing the kids enough but she is an adult. So while writing this, am i the friend? or the person who has to explain to the kids why she does’nt come around often? What am i?